Dedicated to @Bhymborrh for helping me with this book tittle.


Trent got up to dance as Wizkid's song came on, she jiggled her breasts to the beat and I laughed. Perhaps, I shouldn't have ignored them for so long. I could certainly bear hearing husband and baby talks for few minutes. It wasn't all that bad but sometimes I simply felt inadequate. It wasn't easy being the only single one in the group and not only single, but divorced.

My phone pinged and I dug into my bag to get it. I saw a message from Chike and swallowed hard as I opened it to find a nude picture of him. I closed my phone so fast I almost dropped it. Was this what kids did nowadays?

"Are you okay?" Zola asked, noting my body language.

"Huh, yea. I'm fine," I replied. I got my drink and swallowed the content including the ice cube.

Bym came back to the group and apologized for taking long with the call.

"I think the next time we go out together, we'll all agree to silent out phones," Amaka said as we all sat silently listening to her.

"I can't do that, I have kids," Zola replied.

"It won't kill you, I promise. Let's just enjoy ourselves without thinking of them."

I couldn't relate so I remained silent and thought about the picture Chike sent.

"What do you think, Jade?" Trent nudged me.

"Me? I'll go with whatever you guys decide."

"That's not an answer," Bym replied.

"Okay, we'll silent our phones," I said.

Amaka smiled at me for agreeing with her. "Thanks," she said.

"But we can be allowed to check them in case of emergencies," I finished.

"I can agree with that," Zola said.

"I can too," Bym joined in.

"Same," Trent agreed with the rest.

"That's fair enough. No more distractions from either of you then," Amaka said, looking at both I and Bym.

"I didn't do anything," I countered.

"Baby girl, I saw you check your phone few minutes ago," she countered back.

"Okay, I won't pick it up for the rest of the evening," I conceded.

"Much better." she smiled in victory.

"Enough guys, let's dance," Trent said.

"Let's get litty litty," Bym shouted, standing and moving her shoulders expertly.

I, Zola and Amaka joined in and we all imitated Bym's shoulder move as an Afro beat song played. We were all throwing in moves, and laughing at each other as we tried to out dance Trent. She was the best dancer in the group and she wasn't taking things easy with us. When the song changed, Zola sang passionately with it as we took our seats.

"What song is that?" I asked when I heard the powerful lyrics.

"It's The Fray's," she broke off to reply before singing along again.

Amaka and Bym joined in and I smiled as they synced perfectly together. I'd been so starved by their presence and company that it felt like I was discovering them all over again. And I loved every single one them, I was almost getting emotional and I sniffed. I took my refilled glass and sipped as the song ended.

"We need to plan another outing before Miss. Busy leaves," Bym said. I was obviously Miss. Busy.

"I'm too tired to think. We'll figure it out later," Amaka said.

"We can do something different. Like a different scenery," Zola suggested.

"I'm all in, whatever you guys decide," Trent said, which was so typical. She loved going places. "Not out of the country though, I can't leave my kid yet."

"No, that'll be for another time. I mean something simple," Zola explained.

Amaka cut them off. "We'll talk about it later."

"Okay, sis. Let's order Patron," Bym said.

"That's what I'm talking about," Amaka replied, signaling for the waiter.

I mixed my tequila with juice when it arrived. I was going to be driving so I couldn't drink too much. The girls were swinging shots and 'high fiving'.

"Who's taking you guys home?" I asked when I saw them throwing all caution to the wind.

"We'll get a cab or call our husbands. Don't think about that, just drink," Trent encouraged.

I shook my head.

"I need to use the bathroom, who's going?" Zola announced.

"I'll go with you," I stood and joined her.

Bym stood also and we all went to the bathroom.
"Are you serious about not having anyone?" she asked when we were at the sink.

I rolled my eyes as the topic was brought up again. "Not really," I said evasively.

"How do you do it? You mean you haven't gotten any dick in a while now?"

"I didn't say that," I corrected.

"Thank God for small mercies." She seemed satisfied with my answer.

"Don't forget to use protection," Zola joined in. "I'm all for having fun and all, but be safe."

"I'm not a teenager, I know what to do," I replied.

"It's just been a while since you've been out there," Zola explained.

I smiled at her concern and she shrugged.

"How's the business?" Bym asked.

"Great, I'm coming up with new ideas like starting a clothing line. I'll keep you guys updated."

"Make sure you do. I owe you and I need to show up for you," Zola said.

"You don't owe me."

"Don't forget to be inclusive though, we thick girls need trendy dresses too," Bym said.

"I could never forget. We'll be targeting all sizes; everyone is a target audience. There's no point making clothes for only skinny people when other sizes exist, it's going to be inclusive."

"You've a customer then."

"Thanks."

"Let's join the girls before they start worrying," Zola said.

Amaka and Trent were laughing over something as we got back to the table. The girls ordered more drinks while I requested for a bowl of noodles. We talked about everything, I heard about Trent trying to open a new shop in a different location. Amaka was thinking about quitting her job and starting a business while Bym was talking about opening her own firm. They were doing well in their various fields and I was proud of them. They seemed content, and their lives were almost perfect.

The talk took their children's direction again and I heard them talk fondly about their kids. I let their conversation swirl over me as I came up with new ideas and envisioned drawings in my head.

"It's getting late," Zola said and we all checked our wrists.

"I should get going," Amaka said.

"How are you going home? You all drank a little too much," I said as they stood.

"We'll get a cab," Bym spoke for the rest.

"I'll call my driver," Trent said.

"I'll wait till everyone leaves then, just to make sure you're all safe. I didn't drink much," I said.

"That's generous," Zola said.

Zola was the first to leave and we all hugged her, I told her to send me a text when she got home. Amaka left after her, followed by Bym. I was now alone with Trent.

"Where's your driver?" I asked as I stifled a yawn.

"On his way, he'll be here soon."

"Good news. I need to leave, I'm beat." I got a text from Zola, she'd gotten home safely.

"How is it going with you? Cut the bullshit and don't tell me you've only been working." She sat closer to me and I sighed.

"I've been working."

"You really are cool with not seeing anyone?"

"I'm starting to discover myself again, a relationship is only going to mess with the process."

"You don't have to give up on love in the process."

"Who cares about love? I just want to have a great life."

"Without a man, doesn't it get lonely?"

"It's liberating actually. The freedom to do your thing without considering someone else's feelings."

"You had one bad experience, don't let that change your perception on love."

"I hear you."

Trent had always been a romantic, she was that girl that was always in a relationship. She was always on dating apps back when she was single, even her masculine name didn't stop her from getting a perfect match. She was married to one of the guys she met online and from what she said, everything was going smoothly. I was obviously the only one cursed with bad luck when it came to love.

Trent's driver arrived and we walked out of the lounge together. We exchanged hugs before she got into the car. I followed suit when my car was brought out and went home to my 'Chike-less' bed. I could really use his company on a night like this. With him, I never really thought of things I lacked.

I got home and took off my dress, I washed off my makeup and got into bed. I opened the picture Chike sent to me when I was with me friends. I switched off my phone and dropped it on the bedside drawer when I started thinking of touching myself.

Everything was different with Chike. I was constantly trying to separate sex from my feelings and whenever he called me 'sweet face', I practically melted. I should have discouraged the use of the pet name. I shifted in bed and rubbed my eyes. I was generally in a better mood since we started sleeping together and even though I never confided in him, I knew he was always present.

Maybe being single wasn't as liberating as I made it seemed earlier, there were upsides as well as downsides. Right now, I was missing Chike's presence beside me, I slept easier when he was around. I counted backwards from hundred to one and slept off halfway.