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Ch-36 ★Of Devils & Angels

Ch-36  ★Of Devils & Angels

             [Jay]

            When my heart first sped for Aulaura, it was written in stone that I would bring her to tears. I would be the reason for her despair. Only God knows how hard I’ve tried to keep her away from me. I failed; I’ve failed her and myself.

            I’m sorry, Aulaura, I’m sorry for loving you.

The downpour of the rain brought the countryside to life. Orbs of rainwater were dripping across her cheeks.  Her shallow breaths fell across my shoulder, drowning me in the sweet smell of mint.

            “Once a upon a time a boy loved a girl so much that he couldn’t bear to live a life without her. He always believed that the girl felt the same way. He was stupid enough to believe that she did,”

            “What is this? A fairytale?” She whispered in a chocked voice.

I laughed without meaning to. “It’s my worst nightmare,”

            She sucked in a sharp piece of air. I reached out for her, my arms found her waist and pulled her closer to my body. Why? I don’t know- I had feeling she was going to run away from me again.

            I kissed her forehead. She sighed. It was absolutely blissful. If only we could stay like this forever.

            “And then?”

“Mhm” My lips grazed at the crook of her neck before pulling away. “She didn’t even know what love was when she was with me. Melody eventually did fall in love,”

            Aura stiffened in my arms. “She fell in love with someone else,”

I closed my eyes, the image of Melody standing beside Jake’s brother, Xavier flashed in front of me.

            Melody held his hand. She had asked me to come to a date with her. Little did I know what her true intentions were.  She had brought Xavier with her. I thought they were only friends. She never told me that she loved him.

            “Jay, it wasn’t supposed to end like this,” She broke out. “We can still be friends,”

            “Never,” I barked, angrily. “You lied to me all this time. I was an idiot to have believed you. Matt was right. I shouldn’t have loved you the way I did. You never deserved my love,”

            “Jay,” Xavier held Melody tightly against his chest. He was tall and handsome. Nothing like me. He had the perfect build since he was a star football player. I didn’t want to pick a fight with him, knowing how all of this was going to end.

            “This isn’t her fault. She didn’t want to hurt you,” He spoke calmly. Of course he was going to be calm. He freaking stole my girlfriend. “She loves me and it’s for the best if you accept that,”

            “You know what mate,” I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Keep her. She’s going to ditch you the same way she’s leaving me,”

            I opened my eyes, not wanting to remember the terrible fight that followed. If Melody hadn’t pulled us apart, both of us would have ended up dead.

            “His name was Xavier Thompson. He wasn’t a bad guy. We used to best friends. Three of us, Matthew, Xavier, and me, were inseparable. We knew each other better than our own bloody parents. Those were the days,” I smiled nostalgically.

            “And Melody fell for him?”

I shrugged. “They loved each other. I can’t blame them. It’s not like they purposely decided to hurt me,” I shook my head. “Anyways, it was on our date Melody decided to tell me about their love. Apparently, they were planning to run away that night and get married,”

            “Why?”

“Now this part may come as a shock to you but Melody’s parents had arranged her marriage to some rich guy her foster father knew. Damn, she was beautiful and her gorgeous looks brought heap loads of trouble. Her foster parents didn’t really have a choice. The guy was her father’s boss afterall,”

“No way,” She gasped her crystal blue eyes wide. The rain had settled down to a quiet platter now. The air was thickly layered with humidity

 “They ran away. I never found out where they went but Melody would regularly call me and ask for my forgiveness which I ruthlessly refused to give.” A strange emotion crossed her face. “ Things were beginning to turn out okay for me and Matt. We had been signed to a record label and basically everything skyrocketed from there,”

“In all the work and fame, I was starting to forget about Melody. I met new girls and had affairs with them,”

There was an apprehensive expression on Aulaura’s face as she twisted the ends of her hair, her eyes watched the swaying the corn fields. I cupped her cheek with my hands, forcing her to look at me; her eyes were stirring with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. It must be hard for her to listen to me talk like this. It was painful for me to see her in pain.

“But no one had my heart. It still belonged to a certain someone. I was wreck back then. There was this hollow feeling inside me that nothing could fill. It was slowly killing me. I remember Melody telling me to be more responsible. She had caught wind of the rumors going on about me. She blamed herself for my broken state,”

“What have you done to yourself?” Melody looked horrorstruck, she stood beside Matthew. Matthew thought she was my cure. He was damn wrong. She wasn’t my fucking cure, she was my fucking disease. He had forced her to visit me, that idiot.

      I swayed on my feet and landed right in her arms. “Look Mel, I’m famous now. Just like you said I would be” I hiccupped while Melody stared at me with pity lingering down her angelic face. “The world… (hiccup)…loves…(hiccup)…me. You can love … (hiccup)…me,”

            “I can’t” A tear fell from her doe like eyes. “You’re drunk, Jay,”

I placed a finger on my lips. “I promise I won’t…(hiccup)…I won’t ever drink again. I won’t …ever…touch…alcohol,”

            “He’s wasted,” She turned her head away from me and sobbed into Matthew’s shoulder. “This is all my fault. If I had told him earlier,”

            The sun had fallen and the moon had risen. As I proceeded further into my past, my self-control began fading. The guilt I had suppressed came haunting back. It was scary with Aura here. If I lost control, I don’t want to think what might happen.

            “She was happy with him. I should have been happy for her but I wasn’t. It never occurred to me that the time Melody spent chasing after me might be limited. I always expected her to pick me up if I fell -to be there, somewhere thinking about me. That’s why I never forgave her. I thought that if I did, she might forget about me.”

            “Jay, you’re being unreasonable,” Matthew said after one concert. “You should forgive her. Stop being a prick, dude. She can’t love you-“

            “I will do what I want”

“You’re being an asshole,” He muttered under his breath. “You have a family, a billion girls dreaming about you, people that care about you. All Melody has is Xavier. He is the only person she can rely on. Why do you want to take that away from her?”

            “She has me,”

“She doesn’t want you” Matthew flushed a moment later, catching the cruelty of his own words. “I mean she wants you as a friend,”

            “Well, I want to be more than that”

“I give up, seriously mate. No one can save you,”

            The sky was graying again. I thought the storm was over but it had just begun. Rain collided fiercely with the shed’s roof. It reminded of Matthew’s drum beats when he was about to reach the climax of a certain song.

Aura watched me with her, eyebrows pulled together and lips drawn into a tight line.

“I can understand,” She looked at our adjoined hands. “I finally see what you meant by us being alike,”

            “It’s only the beginning, my love” Color crept to her cheeks. Damn, how much I’ve missed that red in her skin. “We even made the same mistakes. Except my mistake was much bigger than yours,”

            At this, she frowned. “How come?”

I buried my head in her hair, hoping reality would vanish. My reigns over myself began slipping. Her smell, her touch, her warmth, everything was so damn addicting. Cigarette smoke was nothing compared to this.

I pulled away. It took all my resolve to do so. “One day, she stopped calling me.  I figured she had given up on me like everyone else. It never crossed my mind that something might have happened to her. I was being fucking selfish. I was scared that if I called, she might tell me that she doesn’t care about me anymore.”

My hands were beginning to shake- the anger I had bottled up inside me for so long was threatening to escape and burn everything its path. Aura pressed a cool hand across my face. Somehow it calmed the fire searing my insides.

             “Sh-she was going through hell. That bloody bastard, Xavier was torturing her because he thought she was having an affair with me,”

            [Aura]

            My heart hurt so badly for him. His entire body was trembling, even as he held me in the cage of his arms. We were tangled in one another. My legs lay upon his while he ran his hand through my hair. The smell of his aftershave filled my senses. There was no escape from this proximity.

            Jay spoke through gritted teeth. “He was jealous of me. He thought that she was going to leave him because I was rich. At that time, Melody was pregnant. She was desperate to protect her unborn child so she stopped calling me.”

            “At one o’clock on May thirteenth, Melody had taken her last breath in Central City Hospital,” Jay cried silently. “It was also the day Beatrice was born,”

            “How did this happen?” I asked before I could stop myself.

Jay heaved a pained sigh. Even the night sky couldn’t not turn as dark as his eyes. Swirling underneath his eyes was a strange golden hued fire, the flames rose eating away the sorrow from his face.  A certain fierceness entered his eyes.

            “Xavier and Melody had fight in which Melody fell from the staircase. He claimed that Melody had accidently lost her footing and slipped. I knew better. The moment Melody had fallen I had been sitting downstairs, waiting to talk with her. After seven months waiting for her to call, I had finally decided to forgive her and move on. In that exact, moment she collapsed before me. There was nothing I could do but watch her die,”

            I was scared. A hurricane of emotions filled my heart while Jay became icily still. He was volcano waiting to erupt. Blue lines covered his arms as his skin carried a dark blood color. The storm was growing larger, wanting to uproot everything in its path.

            “Love is more dangerous than we realize, Aulaura.” the thundering sound of the storm was tightly entwined with his voice. “Enough to kill us,” Lighting flashed in the gray sky. Almost like a spotlight from heaven.

              “Then I’m willing to die with you,”

“Don’t talk like that,” He gripped my arms, tightly. “Do you hear me? I swear-“

            I interrupted him “What did you do, Jay?”

     Dread settled itself deep in my chest. Suddenly I didn’t want to know about Jay’s past. All this time, I wanted him to share his heart’s burden with me and now, I don’t want to face the demons he’s been hiding for so long. But I have to, I love him and I will fight against his demons.

He was breathing fast. For a moment, his eyes met mine and I was rendered speechless by the amount of nerve-wrecking emotion in them. “I killed Xavier,”


            He stared at the distant storm with a gloomy, tortured look as though he were reliving the moment.  “Jake, Xavier’s older brother caught me the moment my hands were soaked in his blood. We made a deal. As long as I paid him a fair share of my fortune, he would keep Xavier’s murder a secret.”

     Even though I knew the answer, I asked him: “Why? Why would want to hide your crime then if you’re going give yourself to the police now?”

            “For Beatrice's sake. I became her guardian when Melody died. The last promise I made to her was to raise Beatrice like my own child. Now, I know there are other people who will take Beatrice into their own care and maybe love her more than I ever have. She doesn’t need me anymore,”

            “No,” My fingers were pressed against his rough stubble. “She needs you. I need you,”

Lips brushed against mine, a series of cold shiver ran down my spine, leaving me breathless. 

            “I’m tired of running, Aulaura.” He whispered, his head rested against mine while his hands skimmed down my sides as if he was trying to memorize every single part of me before the parting bells were rung again.

“Don’t go,” I refused to give in, not after I had just found him.

          “There is no way around this,” He held my gaze, tenderly and almost solemnly.

“We can find one,”

            “Right now, I want you return to London with me. We’ll think about this later,” He spoke evasively. It was the least I could hope for. He was going to think this through.

            I put all my fears aside and locked them inside my chest before saying “Okay,”

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Note: so I was a bit emotional when I wrote this chapter. Anyways, I hope everything made sense and all your doubts are cleared now. If I missed something, please let me know. The reason for the late update was because I wrote this chapter three times.

            I know the secret was really cliché. Blah. I can’t help it. I was about to change it so it would less cliché but I had this planned since the minute I started writing Mr. Rockstar is Sold.

            Three chapters left. 

           

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