Ch-31 ★Whirlwind

One Year Later

[Aura]

            Galveston, Texas

            The light, salty gale blew over my arms, relieving me the scorching Texas humidity. Shuffling my feet I leaned on the counter of the petrol pump’s store.  I worked here now. Not for the sake of money but for my sanity. These isles filled with junk food and beverages had been my companion for the past year.

            Cars came and went. Life moved on. Time doesn’t cease. Only my life seemed to have come to a strange standstill. I wanted to move on. I really did but there were things pulling me down.

            The neon green petrol pump’s shirt was stuck to my skin. Even inside the store, the heat didn’t simmer down. The air conditioning had little effect. I guess because I stood so close to the door, watching and staring out the store’s display window.

            In the glass window’s light, I caught my own reflection. My long, brown locks had abandoned me a long time ago. In their place lay short, black-dyed hair that barely went past my ear.  I had lost a-lot of weight because of my lack of appetite.  My cheekbones were jutting out in an odd angle. There were deep, sleep deprived hollow circles underneath my eyes. I looked tired and old. My skin has lost its color- it was now a papery pale.

            I couldn’t recognize myself. No-one did anymore. The world was awhirl with the news of Samantha Grey being the new CEO of the Innovation. People didn’t think about Aulaura Grey anymore. She was old news – a broken, distraught nobody who was completing her degree in dance at a community college in Galveston.

            Dance used to make happy. It still does. I’m learning many forms of dance in college. It’s fascinating and edifying. There is so much to learn and so little time. In the few moments, I dance- everything fades away from the darkness I’m drowned in into something glorious and alive.

When those few moments lapse, I’m left in a world without light- a world without anyone to love and care for, a world without my family, a world without Jay.

                        The day when I left them all is still clear in my mind as though yesterday.

            In the trembling hands of my mother, I placed the small, yellow envelope. It held divorce papers which I had gotten Cassidy to make. I had already signed them. It also held a letter containing all my feelings.

 Mom and I stood outside Sam’s room at the hospital. She was perfectly alright now, sleeping soundly with Matthew sitting beside her. The police officer has questioned her about the accident and she denied my involvement. I wish she hadn’t because at least then I would have gotten what I deserved. After Sam woke, she had spoken to Matthew and dad. The doctors were concerned that if she met too many people at once it might put too much stress on her. That didn’t stop Sam from asking about me.

            She wanted to meet me but I didn’t. I couldn’t. What was I going to say?’ Sorry for nearly getting you killed.’

            I waited- waited for Sam to fall asleep and to get mom alone.

Jay had gone out, somewhere. Dad was at the office, catching up on the pending work. Mom stayed. I don’t why. Later I realized she was waiting for me.

“What is this dear?” Mom lifted the flap of the envelope.

I stopped her. “It’s for Jay,”

            “Why don’t you give it yourself? Why are you giving this to me? “Panic covered her features.

            “I’m going somewhere mom. I can’t stay here,”

Her grey eye widen, the wrinkles besides her eyes deepened. Mom’s mouth fell open- she pressed a hand to her mouth. “No,” She took my hand in hers. “You are going nowhere,”

“Please mom,” I breathed out. “I can’t do this anymore,”

“Is it because of us? We were about to tell you about Samantha,” There was desperation on her face. It was like all the years of separations were breaking down on her right now. Our broken family, our broken mother and daughter relationship everything was collapsing upon us.

“It’s not that,” My voice was choking me. How can explain this to her? If I stay here a minute longer, I will break down and take everyone with me. I’ve been doing nothing but hurting people lately. It’s for the best if I leave. How will I say that to her?

            “Mom, please, don’t stop me,”

She stared at me for a moment. Then her eye fell down. She had given up.

“Where are you going?”

            “I- I”

I’m leaving London, forever. That’s all I want. I’m leaving England. That’s all I know.

            “I won’t tell anyone,” She whispered, tears fell out of her eyes. “You can trust your mother,”

            “Texas,” I said the first name that came into my mind. “I’m going to complete college there,”

            “Oh dear, that’s far away,” She sobbed into her hands.

I tried not to cry. I tried smiling instead. “Mom, it’s not that far. I promise to call,”

            “What will I tell your father? What will I say to him?” The tears weren’t stopping. She looked to be in great pain. This will be the last time I’ll ever hurt her.

            “Tell him I’m happy,” The first tear fell and slid slowly down my cheek. The longer I stay, the faster I’ll break. “Tell him I don’t need his money anymore,”

            She wrapped her arms around me and held me close to her. I breathed in, the smell of my mother’s familiar perfume. The warmth of her arms made more tears fall.

            “Have I lost my daughter?” She sobbed.

I removed myself from her grasp. I couldn’t talk. I nodded my head instead -the rippling sorrow threatening to tear my cool façade apart. I walked away, through the hospital’s halls. Faded faces, white coats, blue scrubs everything passed by in a blur.  The sound of my mother’s cries echoed inside my head.

            Tears made it harder for me to see anything.

I was outside- in the hospital’s parking lot. The cold air washed the hotness from the tears and sobs. I bumped into someone, they grabbed wrist. The touch was all too familiar. I looked up and saw Jay staring at me with a worried expression.

I took him in. It may be the last time I ever see him. The sharp counters of his face were lighted by the scant light. The brown in his eyes seemed duller than before. His coal black hair were a tousled mess.

“Finally found you,” He sighed. “Was looking for you everywhere,”

“You lost me,” My voice was quite.

He furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion. “What?”

“Nothing,” I smiled.

            He didn’t smile back. “Are you okay?”

I nodded my head. The time was ticking.

            Before my resolve fazed, I tip-toed and pressed my lips against his. They were warm against my cold flesh. He instantly kissed me back. The kiss was urgent and demanding. My fingers were entangled in his hair while he wrapped his arm around my waist. I know this kiss will me cost later. It will cause a heart-ache which won’t ever heal.

            I didn’t want to pull away but I had to. This was as much as my heart could take.

            He looked dazed when I pulled away- the brown in his eyes had deepened.

“Good-bye,” I whispered. “I need to be somewhere,”

            He smiled, his lips curled upwards into a breath halting smile. “Don’t be gone too long,”

            My lips still tinged with the feeling of his upon mine. Then I remembered his betrayal. I gripped the counter tightly. The cool metal dug into my flesh.

He had signed the divorce papers and Cassidy had sent me a copy. The neat scrawl of his name was clearly printed next to my name. It took him a minute to end the relation we had.

            He didn’t fight for us. He was there for the money. I had left him my bank account details. I don’t know how much money it had but I’m sure it was enough to satisfy his hunger.

            I was starting anew now. New job, new people, and a new college- everything was brand new except one thing- my heart. It was still the old machine which was broken and torn beyond repair.
            The tiny bell above the door rung, indicating the entrance of a customer- I straighten my shirt and stood stiffly behind the cashier.

            It wasn’t a customer. It was Drake, my co-worker and friend.

      The blue-eyed and blond haired boy smiled at me. His rustic skin gave you the kind of disposition that he stayed on the beach twenty-four seven- soaking up the sun while he played volleyball. He had the body of surfer, broad shoulders and narrow hips.  If it weren’t for his boyish features, you’d probably mistake him for a professional surfer. He was just out of high-school and was working part-time just like me, slaving money for college.

           He edged towards the counter and propped his elbows on it, leaning close to me. “I’d say let me take ya out for some Texas sized waffles down at Wendy’s,” His peppermint breath washed over my face.

       “Drake, I don’t like waffles- especially the ones they serve at Wendy’s. Too sweet. Almost gave me a toothache the last time I had them,”

     He rolled his eyes, taking a seat on the counter. He’ll get into trouble if Martha, the manager, catches him like this. “Do all ya British chicks complain this much?”

I laughed and punched his shoulder. “Stop stereotyping the British,”

“Well, I ain’t stereotyping. Of-course especially since the British here is a smokin’ hot girl,”

“Remind me again, why are we even friends,”

Drake clicked his tongue. “If you want to be more than friends…I mean you should have said so,”

            “That’s it,” I held up my hands. “I’m calling Martha,”

“Don’t. You’ll get into trouble,” Drake pointed to the small digital at the corner of the store. “Your shifts up. It’s my time to take over,”

            “Gee thanks,” I muttered. I pulled out the keys from the cashier and tossed them to him. He caught them with a flick of his wrist “Count the money and put half of it in the drawer,”

            Basically at the end of the day before the night hours begin, we have to put half of the money in the drawer in-case some guy decides to highjack the petrol-pump for money. We give him the money in cash register which is only a small amount of the actual earnings while the real deal stays hidden in the drawer.

            “I know that,” He muttered under his breath. “I’m the one who taught ya to use the thing,”

            It was true. When I started working here, I was helpless with the cashier. The thing would open and close at random times. It was Drake who took the liberty to teach me. If he hadn’t, I would have long lost the job.

            “I’ll always love you for that,” I grinned, picking up my bags from the chair near-by. “I’ll love you forever,”

            “It was nothing,” There was a slight pink blush on Drake’s cheeks.

“Be careful,” I said on my way out the door. The night shifts were the hardest- no, not because there were hordes of customers but because the chances of encounter with frustrated drunkards and druggies were higher.

            Your life is at stake at all times. Anyone could pull out a gun and end your life if you don’t comply. Boom, you wouldn’t know what hit you.

            “I always am,” I heard him say, the door opened up with a small ring.

“Hey Allie,” I turned around to face Drake. The same shivers still ran down my spine every time someone addressed me by my pseudo name.

            “What?”

“Can you take over Samuel’s morning shift? The big boy is down with a fever,” He scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. “I can’t since I have to write an essay for history,”

            “You forgot again?” I asked him, my eyes narrowed. The essay probably had been assigned to him a month ago. He was going to do it at the last moment as usual.

            “Yah,” He gave a nervous laugh. “So you’re up for it?”

“Fine.” I mumbled. “Only this time,”

✩★✩★✩

            I entered my flat. The same murky smell of the moldy carpet surrounded me. The taps in the sink were running. Looks like I had forgotten to close them. I rushed to the sink and turned the water off. God knows how much water I’ve wasted.

            Damn it.

I brought the grocery bags onto the counter. There were so many of them. I’ll organize them later. Right now, I could feel a massive headache coming on.

Wearily, I made my way to my room and collapsed on the bed. On my bedside table, lay today’s newspaper. I picked it, hesitantly- the rough paper made crinkling sounds as I reached for it. Sheets of cream white came into view. I scanned the pages. Only one particular headline caught my eye.

Jay Walters makes a comeback- bigger than before.

                        The ‘Love me like him’ hit maker returns with a new album which has the toughest music critiques awed. ‘It’s better than his previous albums. There is raw emotion and exceptional vocals. The lyrics are jaw-dropping. Exceptional and brilliant. It’s official I’m Jay Walter fan now,” says Ernest Blare, director of EMI music records.

            There is no saying what brought the Rockstar back on track. It was only a year ago when he had cancelled the world tour and had turned down a record deal.

            As we speak, Jay Walters is now half-through the reannouced world tour and is taking the world by a storm.

            I didn’t read the rest of the article. My eyes were already tearing up as I stared at Jay’s picture. He stood behind a mic, glowing in the spotlight. Both of his hands were wrapped around the mic. His brown eyes were lost, waves desolations and hurt echoed in their pits. They scanned the crowd, looking for someone. Maybe I’m imagining it all.

            I tossed the newspaper to the side, the pages fluttered in the air before landing on the floor.

Every single day my resolve to stay away from Jay weakens. Every single day I’d imagine myself running to his arms and burying my head in the crook of his neck.

            I won’t let that happen, ever. Jay was alright now. He was doing so much better without me. The Rockstar I had once owned didn’t need me. He never needed me.

✩★✩★✩

San Francisco, California

            [Jay]

I need her. I need her so damn much that it fucking hurts. My heart had fallen again. It had fallen to fly, not to be shattered again. The dark hotel room didn’t provide any comfort. The tour, the fans, and the money didn’t bring me joy. It was her small smiles, her teasing laughter, her annoyed grins, her embarrassed blush that made me feel alive. She made me feel alive. I felt dead without her.

I sat alone in another hotel room. My hands ran over the wrinkled paper. It was Aura’s last letter. I read it every day in the hope if I read it enough times she would magically return to my side.

            Dear Jay,

            I don’t know what I should write about. Nothing I write will make up for the things I’ve done wrong.

 I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you. You didn’t deserve this.

Before I get carried away, I wanted to tell you few things. I never owned you. I lied. Cassidy, my lawyer, had made false papers. She wanted me to convince you that I was buying you. So later you wouldn’t refuse to our marriage. The marriage was trap you see. You could never get rid of me even if you wanted to. I held all the power in our marriage.

            I’m using that power to free you of me.  There are divorce papers enclosed along this letter. You’re free, Jay. Enjoy your freedom.

            As the contract, I’m supposed to give you fifty-five million pounds. I’m sorry I’m breaking the promise. I can’t transfer a large amount like that. Things are a mess with dad and I … (I hope you understand)

            Instead, I’m giving you the details to my bank account. I don’t know how much money there is in it but I hope it’s enough.

            … There is a-lot I want to say to you. There is a-lot I can write about but I won’t.

I’m leaving London. By the time you get this letter, I’m probably on the other side of the world. I don’t know why but it feels like I should explain why I’m leaving. My heart is telling me that you would care to know why I left.

It’s selfish of me to leave like this. Honestly, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t deal with the mess in my life. Please, I just want to be left alone. I don’t for how long I’ll be gone or if I’ll ever come back.

I guess this is goodbye. I love you Jay. I always will.

-Aura

            I didn’t look for her because she didn’t want me to. I signed the divorce papers because that’s what she wanted. But I won’t stop loving her even she wants me to. I will love her until my last breath.

            I threw away her bank account details. I didn’t want her money. When we meet again, I want Aura to see me for myself, not for someone who is living off her money. She is the reason why I’m singing again. She is the reason why this Rockstar is larger than before.

            We will meet again, Aura, I know we will. That day I won’t let you go.

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Note: Unedited Chapter. I hope that chapter made sense. If it didn’t, you can kill me. I was going to update earlier but life is seriously killing me. I just hope I make it out alive.

Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter.

The end is approaching. It’s just around the corner. So stay tuned.