Lea

         After River returned to his bedroom, I felt quite lost.

         It was his abnormal demeanor that mainly overthrew me. A cloud that hung gloom in his eyes indicated he is in some way hurt, or annoyed, or both. 

         Now, I possess a feeling of hopelessness, as if I'm so incredibly unhelpful, that I can't do anything to find out what was – or is – wrong with him. How many times has he helped me? More than enough times, and I can't simply return the favor?

         I stand on the balcony with my sight stuck to River's glass balcony doors that are now firmly shut, with white curtains drawn over them from inside, blinding my view of his bedroom. A couple of minutes must have passed, and I'm still standing here, rigid and unmoving.

         Move, Lea. Go back into the bedroom, go downstairs, just do something instead of standing here like a freak.

         So, reluctantly, I attempt to move my rooted legs and turn to head back into the guest room. However, that move doesn't go as well as I plan.

         I end up walking straight into the closed balcony doors, banging my nose, and then my forehead against the hard, cold glass. I gasp from the pain that sores through my face. Then, I whimper like a dog.

         I stand back from the doors in fear of them as if they are dangerous. As I do so, my hand goes straight to my face to examine the damage that my clumsiness has caused.

         Two bruises on your face so far – way to go, Lea.

         I furrow my eyebrows when the pain shoots again, wounding me to the point where I swear under my breath.

         "What the fuck happened now?" A very familiar voice calls, and I glance to my left, praying with everything in me that it's not him.

         Who the hell am I kidding?

         "I..." I instantly drop my hand from my injured face, hoping that whatever mark that may be on my nose and forehead isn't too noticeable. "I..." I glance nervously towards the balcony doors, then back at River. "I..."

         "You what?" He asks, staring at me as if I've grown another head out of my neck.

         "Doesn't...doesn't matter." I swallow, looking away from him.

         "Well, I heard a pretty loud noise..." His voice trails off as his eyes move from me to my balcony doors, raising his brows in suspicion. 

         "It wasn't anything." I lie, scratching my forehead with annoyance.

         If River weren't here, I would punch the door right now. 

        After a few moments of silence clogging the air between us, I make my attempt to leave. So, I hesitantly approach the balcony doors, reaching for the handle. 

         "Wait!" He calls after me. My legs stop moving.

         He looks at me for a few seconds, the look he wears completely impassive, with blank eyes and slightly pursed lips. After gazing away from me to look at his back garden instead, he clears his throat. 

"Uhm...dinner's ready." He says, glimpsing at me once more before disappearing into his room. Slowly, the door closes behind him for the second time, leaving me on my own.

         He was going to say something. He was going to tell me something.

         Why did he change his mind?

***

         I make my way downstairs and walk towards the kitchen. Popping my head around the door, I see Brenda and my mother rapidly preparing the last things for dinner.

         "Do you need some help?" I ask, striding into the kitchen and walking up to the middle island.

         Brenda glances up at me, her eyes glinting as she smiles happily at me.

         "We're fine, thank you, darling." She speaks, gathering enough a handful of cutlery in her hands, for us to use with our meal.

         "Are you—" My voice is interrupted as the landline phone starts to ring, the shrill sound echoes through the kitchen.

         "Could you get that, sweetie?" Brenda turns to me, gesturing with her hand towards the phone, which is plugged into its stand on the countertop at the far corner.

         "Sure." I nod, walking around the island and reaching for the phone.

         After pressing the green button, I speak into the receiver.

         "Hello, Parker residence."

         My eyes widen at what I've just said; I want to slap myself for saying it. Who the fuck says that? Oh my god.

         "Hi, it's Dr. Rallen from Colston Royal Hospital. I was wondering if River Parker is available at the moment?"

         As soon as the man's word reach my ears, my heart beat accelerates, and my throat narrows in on itself, making it hard to swallow. It takes a moment to click, but my thoughts lead me straight to Emily.

         "Uh..." I lick my lips and swallow. "Yeah, he's..." I start to the kitchen door, hoping to rush up to River's bedroom.

         Nonetheless, on my backward step, I end up knocking into someone from behind. I turn sharply on my heels, already knowing it's the person who this phone call is for. The intensity of his melted-chocolate eyes makes me want to hug him.

         Something isn't right. Suddenly, the phone feels like a hundred pound weight in my hand, and it seems wrong for me to give it to River. He shouldn't have to face this alone. 

         "Dr. Rallen from Colston Hospital," I tell him, hushedly.

         At the mention, his eyes widen slightly – only slightly, but that's enough to confirm that he's been expecting this call. His body stiffens, in the same way it did when he found out that I was punched. Slowly, hesitantly, he brings the phone up to his ear, inhales, and then speaks.

***

         "I think you should go up, darling," Brenda tells me, snapping me out of my hundredth trance today.

         My eyes dart from the floor – where River stood only several moments ago before he stalked out of the kitchen – and meet with Brenda's.

         "What do you mean?" I ask, surprised.

         "I think River needs someone up there with him at the moment." She explains, urging me to go upstairs.

         I shake my head. "With all due respect, but I think I'm the last person he wants to see right now."

         Her eyes narrow. "Lea, I'm not sure where you've got that idea from, but if River wants anyone at the moment, it's definitely you."

         Her comment takes me by surprise, so when she senses my confusion, a smirk finds its way to her lips. "I may not be so close to him, but I've known him all his life, I know I'm right. So go on."

         She waves me off, giving me a gentle push in the direction of the kitchen door. As she does so, I glance at my mother, who has been watching us quietly. I note the worry spreading across her face. Though, as soon as she catches my eye, she quickly camouflages the emotion with a smile. 

She always does that, especially when she's hiding something.

         However, I don't bother giving it much thought at the moment. Instead, I rush out of the kitchen, through the corridor, cutting across the spacious entryway, climbing the stairs, and finally arrive outside River's door.

         And then, it's like my feet are suddenly rooted in place, attached to the floor and I can't pick them up. Nonetheless, my ears pick up on River's utterance on the other side of the door.

         "And how long? Do you know?" He speaks.

         It is so hard to hear him like this. It's the way his voice cracks, the way he sounds so utterly weak. He's a big guy, muscular and all – but this fragile voice could belong to a thirteen-year-old boy who's had his head stuck down the toilet by his bullies.

         Oh, my God.

         "Okay, I'll make my way there." He speaks, very quietly – I'm surprised that I even hear his whisper. "Goodbye."

         And then there are a few shuffles, a long, heartfelt sigh, and finally footsteps.

         Crap.

         Quickly, I raise my fist to knock on the door before he's able to reach it, pretending that I just got here. Less than a moment later, the door swings open to reveal a pale-faced River. His eyes rush to meet mine. For a good ten seconds, we just stand there, watching each other. I wait for him to say something while he's probably doing the same thing.

         "Your...uhm, mum told me to come up." I stutter.

         "Did you hear anything?" He asks, calmly.

         "Nothing." I lie.

         "Lea, what did you hear?"

         "Honestly, nothing that was important. I only heard you say goodbye." I say.

         Although I don't exactly know what is happening, there is this malicious feeling grinding in my stomach, telling me that something is wrong with Emily. Something has happened, and just by the bleakness that lingers in the hollows of River's eyes, I know that he is hurt.

         Yet, he's trying to hide it.

         "What's wrong?" I inquire, visibly curious.

         He looks away from me to see his watch. "Nothing," he replies, attempting to walk past me.

         Eugh. I hate it when he's like this.

         Talk to me, goddamn it!

         "River, what's wrong? You know you can tell me," I call after him, reaching out for his arm to make him stop in his escape.

         "Lea," he releases his arm from my grip, but only to hold my hand instead. He also reaches for and holds my other hand. Bending to stand at my height, he speaks again. "There are things that I shouldn't drag you into, okay. There are things that I need to sort out myself, and you shouldn't be a part of it."

         He says it in such a delicate way that the words don't hurt as much as they should. I want to be there for him. I may have done a bad job of showing it before, but I do.

         "River..." 

         He lets go of my hands, and I have to restrict myself from grabbing at them again.

         "Lea," he stops me from talking anymore. "Stop, please, I need to go." 

         I clench my jaw, annoyed at myself for not saying this earlier and annoying at him for not giving me a chance now.

         "How can you not understand?" I whisper harshly, not wanting his whole family and mine to hear me.

         "What?" He furrows his brows.

         "You go around saying that you like me one minute, and yet now you're completely ignoring me? Completely cutting me off?" I hiss. "Do you know how much that sucks?"

         He swallows; maybe he's nervous. Well, he looks slightly confused. "I didn't know you felt like that."

         I scoff. "Well, I do River. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out."

         "Lea, I'm sorry. But it's not my fault." He bites back; his voice rises in volume a little. "The way I've been acting, it's not my fault. As soon as I realised that you didn't like me back, I avoided you for my sake." He sighs, glancing at his watch again. "I'm not going to torture myself by being around you." He scratches the back of his neck, before turning on his heel.

         Are you fucking serious?

         He thinks that I don't like him.

         "River," I call, and he twists his head around in my direction, his body still facing away from mine. "I wish that you were right about the part of me not liking you because liking you has been the most complicated thing I've ever experienced."

         Steadily, his whole body turns a hundred and eighty degrees to face mine. Bewilderment grows in his eyes as his gaze on me prolongs.

         "Don't say that if you don't mean it." He finally speaks, as if he doesn't believe a word I've said.

         "Well, I mean it." I swallow; my heart drums rapidly against my chest while I watch River approach me. "So, I'm...I'm going to say it." I stutter uncontrollably due to the sudden boost of nerves.

         River is now standing only a few inches away from me, his eyes focused only on mine, his breathing mingling with mine. He licks his lips and looks briefly down at mine before returning to my pupils and searching for my approval. What happens next not only surprises River but more so myself.

I take that last step closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him a little closer to me, and press my lips against his.

It doesn't take him long to get over the shock and to finally grasp onto my waist, pulling me towards him until there is no gap between our bodies. Our lips mold together, pressing harder and harder against each other. The smooth texture of his mouth against mine makes me want to kiss him even more, to deepen the kiss.

Eagerly, my hands rummage this his messy hair, messing it up even more than it already is. His hands wonder all over my back, trekking from my waist, down to my hips and then up to my shoulder blades. Once they return to my waist, he squeezes me even closer towards him with his fingers, making me stand on my toes.

However, when we both become hungry for air, River pulls away slowly, opening his eyes to stare into mine. His hands gently tug at my t-shirt – making sure our bodies never detach from each other. We're both panting heavily, our shoulders heaving in sync to the explosions alighting inside of me. The jolting butterflies are ripping my stomach apart, causing my legs to feel weak. Thank God this beautiful boy is holding me close. Otherwise, I would most likely crumble to the ground, just like my house.

         "Lea," He says as I watch his lips, eyeing the way he pronounces my name with his mouth. "I need to go."

          My mood is instantly crushed. I look away from his lips and stare back at his eyes.

         I nod, understandingly. "Is she okay, is Emily okay?"

         His eyes fall to his hands, which are still grasping at my waist, making the skin under my t-shirt feel as if it's been covered with gasoline and set a light with fire.

         "I don't know - that's why I need to go to the hospital." He replies, his mood taking a despondent turn.

         "I can go with you if you want," I offer, reaching my hand up to caress his cheek.

         He closes his eyes at my touch. For some peculiar reason, his next few words almost break my heart.

         "Thank you." 

***