River

         "I'm fucked because I think I love you, Lea."

         Oh my bloody mother of crap. I said, I just told...I just told Lea how I really feel. I literally just...

         Oh crap.

         I look her straight in the eyes, uncaring of the second tear that slides down my face. I need to know her response; I want to hear her say those three words back to me, but only if she means it.

         The anticipation kills me as I watch the look of shock seep into her eyes as her lips part in surprise at my confession. I'm just as surprised as she is, I didn't think I would say it so soon. 

         I feel like I need her because she's the only person that could stop me from doing something stupid right now.

         Another tear drop falls from the eye; stop crying, damn it.

         Lea moves out of her state of shock and lifts her hand to my face, letting her thumb wipe away the trail of moisture left behind by my tear. Her touch is soft and smooth, and I wonder if she feels the same way that I'm feeling. Although it's only been a few seconds since those words left my mouth, it seems like an eternity. I just want her to say something, anything. 

         "Well, I'm definitely fucked, River." She says, a small smile playing at her lips. "Because I know that I'm in love with you."

         Did she...did she just say...

         I stare at her in awe. She said it back. She feels the same way.

         And not just that, she slides her hand onto the back of my, slowly pulling me closer to her. After placing a precious kiss on my lips, she wounds both arms around my neck to pull me into a loving embrace. Following her lead, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her up from the edge of the bed so that we're both standing, and both hugging each other as if our life depends on it.

         I never knew that loving someone else like the way I love her can not only bring you joy, but also relief and comfort in such a rough time. 

         She's so, so beautiful, and I don't even need to open my eyes to see that.

         "I love you," I utter, squeezing her tighter to me.

         "I love you." She returns, warming my heart. 

         However, we quickly have to pull away when there are few knocks on the door. The last thing I want is for Lea's mum or dad to come barging in on us. That's another issue I will need to deal with – Lea's overprotective parents. Eventually, we're going to need to tell them that Lea and I are more than friends. Just the thought of only being friends with Lea makes me feel so uncomfortable.

         Lea takes a step back to adjust her hair and clothes, but already I want her back in my arms and close to me.

         "Come in," I call to whoever is on the other side of the door.

         With a turn of the handle, the door opens, and my mother steps in, holding the phone against her ear. She wears a worried expression as she glances from Lea to me, and a look of confusion crosses over her when she realises that Lea is here in my bedroom. Nevertheless, her attention turns to me, and the confusion soon disappears when she starts to speak.

         "Ky wants to talk to you," she states, the bags under her eyes become more evident as she steps closer to me to hand me the phone.

         "What's wrong?" I ask.

         "Just...speak to him." She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

         I place the phone to my ear, "Ky?"

         "He's here; the idiot actually had the nerve to come here." Ky curses under his breath, angrily.

         "Who?" I inquire. Ky is at the hospital with Emily, so I guess someone else is there too. "Don't say it's him." I shake my head, even though he can't see me. I can feel my face fall, the ecstasy I felt as I hugged Lea has faded completely, and my worries have taken over.

         "Nick, River. Who else?" Ky says.

         "Are you by him?"

         "Do you really think I would stand in the same room as the bastard?" He replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

         "Who told him that she's awake?" I ask not many people who know Emily could've told him. So who?

         On the other side of the receiver, I can hear Ky take a deep breath before he responds. "Emily, Emily asked for him to come."

         And when he says that, I can feel the hurt in his voice.

***

         It takes me a few moments to get over the fact that Emily remembers who Nick is, and even asked for him to come to visit her. But...she doesn't remember me?

         I hang up the phone and let my hand drop to my side. My eyes focus on the floor below me for a few seconds, allowing proper processing of the information in my head.

         Nick is in the hospital with Emily. Emily remembers who Nick is. Emily doesn't remember who I am.

         "River, honey?" Mum speaks, taking a hesitant step closer to me.

         I don't respond; I'm too amazed at how this is turning out.

         Emily remembers Nick? Nick?

         "I'm going to the hospital," I tell my mum, returning her gaze.

         She shakes her head, "honey, I don't think that's a good idea."

         My eyebrows furrow in puzzlement, "why not? I'm her brother. I should be there."

         "Not when Nick's there." She states.

         "Mum, I'm not going to start a fight," I reply, harshly, and instantly regret it. I shouldn't take my anger out on other people. I seal my eyes shut to get rid of the heavy tiredness and inhale a deep breath to calm myself down.

         "Will you come with me?" I turn to Lea. "I would really like it if you were with me."

         Lea looks from my mother to me and nods. "Yes, of course."

         I turn to my mother, "I'm going mum, and I promise I won't cause any trouble."

         She gives me a wary look, one full of worry, but at the same time, understanding. "What shall I tell your parents when they get back home, Lea?" My mum turns to Lea.

         "Tell them she's with me, at the hospital. I'll talk to them when we get back."

As bad as it sounds, I don't care what her parents think of her being with me because I don't think I've ever needed someone to be by my side so much before. If I don't have Lea with me, I don't think I would be able to go to the hospital in first place, and if I did, I don't think I'd be able to control myself from hurting Nick, or myself for that matter.

         Without further discussion, I take Lea's hand in mine and head out of the house.

***

         "Promise me one thing," Lea asks as the elevator lifts us up to the seventh floor.

         I turn my head towards her but avoid eye contact. I don't want her to see how glossy my eyes are at the moment. I'm trying my best not to cry.

         Pull it together, River. Pull it together.

         "Anything," I reply, squeezing her hand.

         "Whatever happens, don't do anything stupid," She says.

         "Define stupid." I laugh, a humorless laugh.

         "Just...promise..." She urges. I can feel her thumb stroking at my fingers that wrap around her hand.

         My eyes meet hers, and I'm not afraid that she can see how hurt I am. "I promise. But you promise me something."

         "Anything," she imitates, causing a small smile to tug at my lips.

         I lean my head towards hers, "don't let go of my hand." I say, before kissing her cheek.

         She closes her eyes when my lips press against her skin, "I promise."

         The elevator doors open, and as soon as we step out of the shaft, we see Ky sat on one of the chairs in the reception area. Conner sits beside him, but they're both eyeing at the floor. Lea and I approach them, and when Conner realises it's me, he shoots out of his seat and steps towards us.

         "You cannot get mad; you cannot get mad River." Conner starts, pleading with his hands pressed together, praying for me to not cause a scene. "When Emily woke up this morning, she told mum and dad that she wanted to see Nick. So they called him up, and that's why he's here."

         "Why the hell did they call him?" I tense up, but the angry feeling soon soothes itself out when Lea squeezes my hand. She places her other unoccupied hand on my upper arm in hopes of allaying me, and it works.

         "River," Ky speaks, but not bothering to look up from the spot he's staring at on the floor. "Emily wanted him to come, don't blame it on her parents." He says to my surprise.

         "And you're okay with that?" I ask, moving my attention to Ky.

         He fidgets before reclining back. "No, obviously not, if it were me, I would've shot the dude a year ago." He reveals bitterly, before continuing. "But it might help jog her memory." He finally looks up at me.

         "I'm gonna go see her."

         When I step around Conner to move down the corridor, he steps in front of me in order to stop my tracks.

         "Move, Conner," I growl at him.

         "At least wait until Nick leaves," Conner begs eagerly.

         "Conner, move." Lea says from behind me, reading my mind exactly.

         He glances over my shoulder to Lea, who is glued to my side, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The whole world can stand against me, but as long as I have her beside me, I'll get through it. 

I need to see Emily, and I need to see Nick. I want to end this, today – I need to get the closure that I deserve.

         This time when I move around Conner, mine and Lea's hands still intertwined, he doesn't stop us from walking towards Emily's room.

***

Lea

         We walk down a few corridors, rounding a few corners before we finally reach the ward on which Emily's hospital room is situated. But I wish we never did because there is complete havoc. Everything is a surreal blur; doctors and nurses rush in and out of patient's room, with looks of stress and anxiety. They call at each other words that I can't comprehend. Their voices are full of concern.

         That's when I understand that the room they are spilling into belongs to Emily.

         I glance around the corridor frantically, spotting Emily's parents, whom I saw in the early hours of this morning. They're both hugging each other, with tears streaming down both of their faces. Emily's mother has her head rested on her husband's chest as they both stare hopelessly, yet desperately into Emily's room.

          But, that's not the worst sight I see.

         It's only when I take a look at River that my heart breaks.

         Most people associate broken hearts with breakups, or love stories that don't end the way you want them. But my definition of a broken heart is what I feel right now, as I watch one of the most important people in my life break down before my eyes.

         His face wears an expression of shock, mixed with regret and guilt. He eyes Emily's hospital door in utter disbelief, and the little amount of colour that he had in his cheeks now disappears completely. The River beside me has transformed into a ghost of a person, and it breaks my heart into a million pieces.

         His grip on my hand loosens a little, but I hold on even tighter. I made a promise, and I'm going to keep it.

         I wish I could take the pain away, just a little bit. I wish, just for you, River. I wish I can, but I just...can't.

         I hear the sound of running footsteps from behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to see Ky and Conner coming up behind us. Both their faces portray expressions of horror as they slow to a stop beside River and me.

          As I stand here, in the midst of all the chaos, I can feel the tension and the confusion and the feeling of despair weigh in the air around us. Emily has so many people who love her. The cost of loving, however, is having something to lose.

         I told River that I loved him today, and I meant it. It's a feeling that I've never felt before, and it's something indescribable. It's the best and worst feeling in the world because I have something so precious that I can so easily lose.

         For River, it's Emily that he can lose at this moment. And I pray with all that's in me that River can have enough courage to carry the burden that comes with having to lose someone so close to you. 

***