MENDES' POV:

"You are finally here" I hug Nath as soon as I opened the door.

"Hey hun, I missed you too but you're holding me too tight, my ribs" I can't help but chuckle; no matter how bad things are going, she always manage to make me smile.

I give her space to walk in and followed her after closing the door. "Two bottles Shawn?"

"One of them is from last night and I haven't drunk the half of the second one yet"

"You didn't even cleaned up? Wow is it really bad then" she says picking up the empty bottle and the delivery left over from the tea table in my living room.

"You don't have to"

"I don't, But I won't sit down there around all your dirty" she throws the trash in the bin and walks back to where I am waiting for her.

"So" she looks at me curious.

"It's... I can't even explain" I can feel my eyes watering again but I hold back. I pick my glass and pour the wine in it, but Nath grabs it from my hand and drink a big sip.

"At least we're going to share that or else no more wine" She says and handed me the glass again.

"Soooooo?" She's waiting for me to start.

"I saw Marina and Robert, we talked" Nath's eyes wide open, that's exactly what happened to me last Sunday, 4 days ago.

Shawn dropped Cameron nearby their house as every sunday morning after spending a lovely night together, a week later after their Valentine's day date. They were planning their travel; more than planning actually, Cameron was trying to find a way to talk to his mother about it without giving so much info. While Shawn was very calm about it, just waiting a green light to finally purchase the tickets.

Shawn waited a considerable 10 minutes to start the engine again and drive to his parents house in order to spend the day with them, after his relationship with Cameron started, he isn't visiting them much often as he thinks he should, so he brought some fresh cinnamon rolls and bagels to Aaliyah, a scotch for Manny and orchids for Karen.

Everything went superb for the Mendes that sunday, they had a little barbeque and shared a lot of laughter as the old times.

In the middle of the afternoon Shawn was with his sister upstairs; they were talking about her future applications to universities and the plans of maybe going to study to another country.

Shawn was happy surrounded his family that day, he was also texting with his cute boyfriend who was just three houses away, he was even joking with Cameron about the chance of him climbing Cam's window late at night.

He was also contemplating the thought of telling Aaliyah about Cameron, not about Cameron himself, obviously. But maybe tell her that he met someone, that he is very into that person and maybe give it a chance. He was there thinking about the correct words to start that topic when the door bell rung and dispersed his ideas.

Aaliyah and Shawn tried to focused on any sound coming from downstairs but they couldn't. Aaliyah look through her window and there was an unknown car parked in their driveway. She muttered "I don't know" to Shawn and he stood up to go down the stairs and find out who was there.

Bad idea.

Shawn heard some sniffles and voices randomly familiar to him, he reached the living room and there they were, Marina and Robert, Nick's parents, sharing hugs with his parents.

"Both of them?" Nath is still surprised, I nod having another sip.

"I always knew that Marina used to come to town, never about Robert, and then?"

"And then..."

Shawn tried to escape anywhere, he didn't feel able to face what was about to happen. He glanced the front door and the stairs. Walking upstairs and pretend the most slumbering sleep or death sounded good. Why is this happening to him? Why today? Why?.

"Shawn?" He froze listening to Marina calling his name. He deep breathed and turn around with a shy smile. Marina walked towards him sobbing and hugged him immediately.

Shawn was speechless but responded to the embrance, Marina was like a second mother for him after all. His already pale face went whiter as tons of memories crossed his mind. Marina let go of him wiping the tears from her cheeks, then it was Robert time to greet Shawn, it was a polite handshake mumbling "Long time no see you son" and "You look so mature".

Karen notice how her son facial expression changed so she walked next to him and held his arm in sort of comforting way. All of them sat in the living room to have a long and painful conversation.

"It's not like my mind went blank Nath, I just couldn't made up a proper sentence to reply" I say handing her the glass of wine. "I only nodded to everything they said and smiled sometimes"

"What's so bad about seeing them then? Of course they talked about Nick and the memories they had of you. It's everything they have, just memories"

"That doesn't mean that it is less painful for me Nath"

"Did they mentioned the accident?"

"Not directly, but if they believe I caused it. They have all the right to do it" I can't hold the tears, it was my fault.

"No, they don't Shawn, stop making up conclusions"

"Robert blames me"

"Did he said it?"

"No" But he believes that. I'm sure.

"Don't make up conclusions Shawny" She hugs me. "Stop blaming yourself, I know it is hard for you because you always took care of Nick but he made his choices back in time"

"For me, so I could live my dreams"

"You didn't forced him, let those thoughts in the past for once"

"I wish I could, but every single time that I made a step forward in my life they appear again, haunting thoughts and dreams"

"Try harder, embrace your present and fight hun"

"My present" I smile. Cameron is my present. "Cam got me that teddy" I say pointing to my desk. She stands up smiling, she grabs it and returns. "This is lame even for me"

"I know, he said it was a cover up. He gave me a signed jersey too"

"Your face lighten up whenever you talk about him Shawn" She smiles.

"Really?" She nods. "He makes you happy?"

"More than I can tell"

"He is sweet and he cares about you. I can see that"

"He does, he noticed that I was acting strange, look" I handed her my phone, Cameron last message was he asking me if I was doing okay.

"Did he know what happened?" I shake my head in no.

"You should te him, talk to him about Nick and-"

"No Nath, I can't. I don't want to scare him"

"You will have to, he deserves to know and maybe help you to forgive and let it go"

"Someday, maybe"

"Nonsense" She says standing up. "We talked enough, I'm starving" She goes to the kitchen probably to cook something. "No more wine also" she yells. I sink on the couch and reply to Cameron.

Sighing I close my eyes, again Marina and Robert are in my mind. It was the first time that I met them after the accident investigations were concluded, more than four years ago. I went to Vancouver to study and stay away from everyone, they moved to Montreal to do the same.

But now Marina asked me to stay in touch, to travel and visit them. To be part of their lives. It's all so confusing, the harder I try to keep my past away, the harder the memories hit me.

I just want to live my life with Cameron but I can't. Why?

...

A/N: PLEASE READ.
Apologies for the delay! My old phone died, with it my archives, memes and the last week update. RIP
I'm not a computer person so I waited to write it all again once I got a new phone. Lame update but I'm trying to build the story.

As you all may already noticed, this is a Shawn!top fic. I gave it a thought about make it versatile but that's not how I pictured from the beginning so I won't change. There are a lot of shawn!bottom books, I'm making some justice? I guess.

However, making a one-shot Shameron (versatile) book was always an idea and to please everyone I decided to publish it already.
First charpet is up, check it out on my profile.

Elena Nathalia x