Cameron is laying on his bed, dressed well and waiting for his friend Matt. It's past 8pm of the next Thursday after the last basketball game.

The team lost miserably, mostly because he played just the worst game of his life. He accused a minor pain on his lower back.

A lie.

The coach and team believed in the words of the leader of the team and he got dispensed from the training this week.

Even for Cameron was easier to believe in his own words, denying of course what or who is the reason of his emotional rollercoaster.

Half laying on his bed to be exact, hands up on his chest, moving sequentially his fingers over and over again.

He also has his right leg out of bed; bouncing his foot on the floor in a irritating speed, both can be considered unconscious actions of a person who's dealing with anxiety and stress.

He is laughing ironically at his thoughts, he can't believe what is really crossing to his mind at the moment.

"Nope" he mumbles with his eyes shut.

"No way" he shakes his head in no.

"Of course not" he laughs again.

He places his arms on his sides and suddenly feel something on his bed next to him. He opens his eyes to look and it is his turned off laptop.

The very illustrative research he made earlier crosses his mind this time.

"It can't be possible" he says covering his face with his hands and grunting in frustration.

He sighs.

"I'm not gay" he whispers clenching his fist and hitting the wall that is next to his bed.

"I can't be gay" he mutters turning his gaze to the chair that is placed in front of his desk.

His eyes stares on the shirt that is extended over the chair.

"Not chances" he shuts his eyes once again.

"I'm not gay and I'm not gonna be gay for him".

Suddenly a honk horn wakes him up from his thoughts. Matt is outside waiting for him.

"You're not gay Cameron and you're going to prove it tonight" he encourages himself getting up from his bed. 

He walks toward the door.
"Fuck you" he grunts reaching the shirt and throws it on the floor.

He walks out of his room but suddenly he stops. He sighs shaking his head. Guilt.

He walks back into his room and pick up the shirt off the floor and place it on his bed.

A self-hate feeling invades his body because he cares about that shirt, he cares about the owner of that shirt.

Another honk rush him to walk out of his room closing the door behind him, he walks down the stairs, kisses Gina's forehead saying good bye.

Walks out of his house shutting the door behind him.

He hops inside or Matt's car. "Bato" he greets Matt. "How's your back?" A concerned Matt questioned, focusing his eyes on the road. "My back?" Cameron furrows his brows.

"Yeah bro, how's the recovering going?" And Cameron remembered the fake injury he accused after their last game.

"Going well, I think I'm going to be able to play the next game" he says trying to sound cool.

"Good thing that we got and extra week for the holiday" Matt keeps driving. "Yeah man. So, where's the party?" Cameron changes the subject immediately.

"At Lili's sister triplex, nearby the centre" Matt informed. "Seems you're pretty excited" he adds.

"I just needed a distraction and I'm feeling that this is going to be a great night." Cameron says.

This has to be a great night. He thought.

DALLAS' POV:

*earlier in the evening*

I'm drying my hair sitting on my bed, not even a hot shower is helping me to relax these days.

What a hard week to go through, no practices for me and a warning note from Mr Idiot keep me stuck in his classes.

Speaking about the devil, I still have his shirt. I was about to give it back when out of nowhere he ditched me of his life not even giving me a proper reason.

I can't stan him, can't even look at his perfect self. I was so stupid of thinking about impress him, so stupid to think that he cares.

He doesn't care, he acts like he does but no. He didn't show up for the game. I waited for him to show up, to show me that he wasn't being so serious but he didn't.

Why I care about him? Why I can't stop thinking and feeling that I need him around?

Once more time I pick his shirt and shut my eyes, his scent. Probably the most relaxing yet stressful aroma that I've ever smelled.

"Dumbass" someone storms into my room.
"What are you doing? Wait, Why are you smelling that shirt?" Sierra.

"What? ehm what? I don't know what are you talking about. Get out of my room, I'm naked!" Instinctively I hide the shirt behind me.

"That isn't the shirt that your friend borrowed you? Why are you smelling it? Wait, Do you have a crush on him?" What?!!!!

"What the heck Sierra?! I'm just... I- I was just checking out if it's clean to give it back to him" my heartbeats increase and I feel my body sweating.

"Oh. Okay. I just came here to tell you that Brent and I are travelling next week to his parents house. You must go with mommy to the dinner" A crush on my friend? A crush on a man?.

"Cameron I'm talking to you" she raises her voice. "Oh yeah, I'll go with her" she smiles and starts to walk out of my room.

"Sierra, why did you asked if I have a crush on my friend? He is a man" I'm feeling drowning in a ocean of questions right now. "You just looked enjoying the smell of that shirt, who's he?" No way that I'm telling this is my teacher's shirt.

"You don't know him. But hey! Having a crush on a man will turn me gay and I'm not gay" I'm not. I had girlfriends before. "I know you aren't, It just crossed my mind" she says walking out of my room.

A crush on Mr Mendes? That's not possible. I'm not gay. He is not gay either. Why would I have a crush on him? The idea is stupid.  

I run my fingers through my hairlines, walking around my room, trying to find the logic of these feelings.

Internet.

I walk to my bed and sit, I pick my laptop and start to search answers......

I shut my laptop and my eyes in shock. I unplugged my phone from the charger and call Matt.

After three rings he picked up. "Man" my voice is trembling. "Cam, what's up?" Breathe Cameron. "I'm boring man, you talked about a party tonight?" This is not happening to me.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure of going anymore. Why?" - "The big Matt is going to miss a party? Come on, let's go. I need distraction" I close my eyes and think about Shawn. His face, his eyes, his smile.

"Okay, but I'm not going to drink, I'm having medicines and mom will kill me if I cut my treatment" Shawn's arms, his back, his body. "Haha alright man. Pick me in one hour" - "Okay bro" he ends the call.

Scared I walk into my dressed to pick up my a decent party outfit, once I'm done I lay on my bed again and shut my eyes waiting for Matt. 

×

"Bro I think you already had enough beer for tonight" Matt says pulling off my red solo cup of my hands. "I told you I was going to drink tonight" I burst and pick another cup to fill with beer.

"Cameron what's wrong? You changed your mood before we reach the house" Matt is right, turns out that the party is only two blocks away from Mr Mendes' flat.
"I don't know what you talking about"

*sw*

"Come on, let's go home. We have school tomorrow" Matt pulls again the beer of my hands. I look up seeing Hailey dancing with a man. "Hannah babe" I yell. "What? Are you serious Cameron?" Matt touches my shoulder.

"If you want to leave then do it. I'm going to fuck that girl tonight" I walk passing Matt going into the dance floor. "You're going to regret it" Matt yells, probably he is right but I need to prove that I'm a real man, that girls are my thing.

"Hannbae, long time" I pull her closer. "Cameron, hey?" She says looking at dude she is dancing with. "Go get your own chick" he pushes me. "She's mine, go get you a hole to fuck" I snap back pulling Hannah off the dance floor.

"Cameron, Are you serious? We're going to be together again?" Why is her voice so irritating?.
"Do you want to be with me or not?" I look at the stairs and there are drunk couples making out.

"Of course I want to, you know I love you" here we go with the love nonsense. "Show me your love and let's go upstairs then" I say and she nods lively.

We find an empty room, we get in there and I close the door behind me. I pull her closer in the act and I start to kiss her. Shawn, his plump pink lips.

I pull away from the kiss and shake my head. I attack her neck now trying to forget Shawn. "I missed you Cameron" I miss him, I miss being around him. I miss his raspy voice calling my name.

"Let's have sex?" I ask. She nods undressing, exposing her body. She's beautiful but I'm not feeling attracted. "Come on babe" she lays over a couch.

I top her, I started to touch her breasts while kissing her neck. Shawn's torso, how his muscles are visible when he's wearing his tight button up dress shirts.

"Fuck" I say pulling out. Hailey started to undone the button of my pants, I pull her hands off me so I can do it for myself.

I take a condom from my wallet, I pumped myself a few times to get harden enough to slid it over my shaft.

I positioned my tip in her entrance, I fill her with my cock listening her moans. I shut my eyes trying to concentrate. I thrust back and forth in a slow speed, couldn't enjoy the beauty of her body, the sensation of having her in my arms.

I imagine myself being in her position, Shawn kissing me and thrusting in with his all might.

"Dammit" I grunt. I stood up and pull out the condom of my dick before getting dressed once again. "What happened Cameron? Are you leaving me like this?" She sounds upset.

"I'm sorry Hannah I can't do this" I start to look up for my shirt. "I can't believe you are doing this to me, you are treating me like a trash" her voices cracks as she began to cry.

I finally find my shirt and dress it. "Look Hannah, you are beautiful, talented and any man would do anything to be with you. Any man but not me" I dry her tears.

"Why are you playing with me?" She keeps on crying. "I'm not playing, I don't want to play with our feelings that's why I stopped" she seems to understand me. "I can't love you, not in the way you want. Please forgive me" I kiss her forehead and walk out of the room.

Tripping a couple of times I finally walk downstairs and leave the house, I look up and Matt was there sleeping in his car.

I approached and knocked the window. "What are you doing here?" He rubs his eyes. "I was waiting for you man" I smile at him. "You are the best Bato!!" I say opening the door to hug him. "You are so cheesy when you are drunk dude" we laugh.

I hop inside of his car again and he starts the engine. "How it was?" Matt breaks the silence. "I couldn't do it" I reply short and cold. "Oh, why?" Because I can't stop thinking about our teacher. "She's not the right one for me man" He nods.

I looked up through the window when we were crossing Shawn's flat street. My heart says to run inside of the building in way to see him, to be with him. Whereas my brain reminds me that he has a girlfriend, and there's no place for me in his life anymore. He ditched me.

"I'm sorry for tonight man" I say when Matt stops in front my driveway. "It's okay dude, you would do the same for me" he smiles. "You are my best friend Matt" hug him before I step out of his car.

I walk inside of my house trying to be quiet as much as possible, I reach my room and close the door behind me, locking it.

I walk into my bathroom and open the water tap and wash my hands and my face right after. I look myself at the mirror in disbelief.

"I'm gay" I whispered laughing. "I'm a stupid pussy boy" I keep on laughing. "And I'm having a crush for my teacher, how cliché" I shake my head closing the water tap and walk towards my bed.

I get undressed staying only with my briefs, I lay over my mattress covering my whole self with my blanket.

Sighing I sit down looking up for something.

His shirt.

I hug his shirt very tight, knowing that this is the only thing that I'd ever have from him.

"Fuck you Mr Mendes"...