Eva

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Hindi niya anak si Vansel?

Nagtagpo bahagya ang kilay ko nang mabasa ang portfolio niya. Hindi niya anak si Vansel kung 'di anak ng kapatid niyang babae ito. Siya ang nag alaga sa bata at nagpalaki. Siya rin ang nagpaaral nito.

Vansel is currently working as a Supervisor at a well-known call center in Cebu, which is owned by Sebastian's brother.

Now, after reading everything about him, my perspective of him has changed slightly from what it was back then.

Sebastian is a hardworking person who excels in all aspects. Nasa genes na yata nila ito, dahil isang bilyonaryong negosyante rin naman ang ama niya.

Everything makes sense now.

I smile, looking at Sebastian and the rest of them on stage. The media swarming like bees, taking photos of him.

Hindi rin nawala sa eksena si Dahlia. Sumingit nga siya at sadyang tumabi kay Sebastian. I looked at her sharply, annoyed at her.

She only wants Sebastian's money. That's all she cared for.

Sunod-sunod ang mga events at fully book ang dalawang linggo. Kasama ako sa bawat events mapa labas man ng Cebu.

The meetings, gatherings were never ending. Nakaka-drain din ng utak, pero nakakawala ang stress sa paligid lalo na ngayon na nasa Bantayan Island ang buong team. Ito na rin ang panghuling event ng buwan, at pagkatapos nito ay balik syudad na kami.

Sebastian was always surrounded by people in politics. I am proud of what he has become, but I felt shitty at the same time.

Kung matalino siya sa ganitong bagay at negosyo , ay kabaliktaran naman ito pagdating sa puso niya.

He is weak and sometimes struggles with his emotions, and I dislike him for that. I haven't forgotten what he did back then, and I may never forgive him.

As much as possible I don't want to get close to him. Umiiwas ako hangga't kaya ko at lumalapit lang kapag trabaho lang. Kaswal din naman siya sa akin.

Hindi ako makatulog, kaya lumabas ako sa hut house para matitigan ang dagat.

It's a full moon. The moon shines beautifully, and the sea shimmers with a glow of light from the moon itself. It's so enchanting, like in the Wolf and Moon cave.

Wala na ang halos lahat ng guest, dahil umalis na ang mga ito kaninang tanghali. Naiwan na lang ang team namin. Rinig ko kanina na nag uusap sina Sebastian at Graham. Panay ang tingin ni Sebastian sa akin, at panay naman ang iwas ko sa kanya.

Humikab ako. Nakakatulong nga naman ang hangin ng dagat. Mukhang inaantok na ako.

"Hindi ka rin ba makatulog?"

I turn my head to where the voice was coming from, and saw his dark shadow. Humakbang siya palapit, hanggang sa tumama ang liwanag ng buwan sa katawan at mukha niya. . . si Sebastian.

I looked away and am now staring at the full moon. He settled beside me, also looking at the moon.

"I will soon... Inaantok na rin naman ako." Humawak ako sa kahoy na riles at saka umaatras ang kanang paa ko dahil gusto ko nang bumalik sa kwarto.

"Can we talk?" He held me from behind, stopping me from moving backward.

Nagkatitigan kami.

"Work?" Pumwesto ulit ako at sumandal na sa kahoy na riles. Inalis na din niya ang kamay niya mula sa likod ko.

"No, it's not about work, but us..." His jaw ticked, and he seriously looked at me.

I smiled.

"Wala na naman tayong pag usapan, Gov. What happened between us, it was all in past. Just forget about it." I chuckled.

"Call me Sebastian, Eva..."

Tumingala ako at talagang tinitigan na siya.

"Sebastian. . ." I mumbled in a low voice as we stared. I lost my smile.

Nagtitigan ulit kami, at mukhang walang unang gusto magsalita sa amin. He looked stressed. I can see it in his eyes. It's sad, and it drags my heart down to my feet.

Umiwas na ako. Ako ang unang umiwas at sa buwan na lamang tumitig. Pero nakikita ko pa rin sa gilid ng mga mata ko ang mga mata niya sa akin.

"I'm sorry, Eva. . ."

I smirked, biting my lower lip.

"For what?" Tumaas ang isang kilay ko at tinitigan siya pabalik.

I hate this type of look from him. Mukhang ang laki laki ng problema niya at parang pasan niya ang mundo sa balikat.

His eyes are lonely, and that throw a piercing feelings towards me.

"For everything... for the wrongs I committed in the past... for the hurtful words that I spoke. I regret it, Eva. I regret it deeply."

I chuckled lightly. "Then regret it. It doesn't matter anymore, Sebastian. It doesn't change anything..." Kumurapkurap ako. Magpa hanggang ngayon ay ramdam ko pa rin ang kirot sa puso.

How will I let go of the past? I don't know because the pain has buried deep inside me. Kailanman ay hindi na mawawala ito.

I have my demons, and it's hard facing them. And I know Sebastian has his, too.

"I want you to know that from now on, I will do everything to make it up to you."

Huh? Ano raw?

Napaawang ang labi ko, at namunggay ang mga mata niya, pero may halong kalungkutan ito.

"Wala na tayo, Sebastian. . . Matagal na tayong wala." Huminga ako nang malalim at hindi inalis ang mga mata ko sa kanya.

Napaigting siya. Ramdam ko ang puso niya at alam kong ayaw niyang bumitaw. Napailing ako.

"Let go of the past, Sebastian, and move on..." I feign a laugh.

"But how, Eva?" His eyes are bloodshot. "Damn it..." He lowered his head, took a deep breath, and looked back at me.

"I'm not perfect, Eva, and I'm sorry... What you see in me is not me at all." Namuo ang luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya at natulala ako. Saglit tumigil ang ikot nang mundo ko at parang hinila ang puso ko pabalik sa kanya.

"I tried forgetting you, but I can't," he smiled bitterly and licked his lips. He looked at mine.

"I was a fool, and I know that. I hurt you deeply, and I'm not asking for your forgiveness. However, please give me a chance to show you how I can change, and don't completely shut your heart on me."

Umiwas na ako at saka pilit na ngumingiti.

Ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko na siyang titigan pa.

"Vansel is not my son, but I love the boy so much. . ." He paused and took a deep breath.

"He was in love, and I didn't see it coming. I believe him more than believing you, but he lied. . ."

Namilog konti ang mga mata ko at napatingin na ako sa mga mata niya.

"I found out that he was lying... he lied about you as his girlfriend. He was furious as a teenager and regretted it. I've forgiven him, Eva, because he was just a child."

"I know what it feels like being betrayed by someone you loved dearly. I know the feeling... When I saw my ex-wife, making out to someone on our bed, my world shattered." Umiwas si Sebastian sa titigan at saka nakita ko ang pagpatak ng luha niya. Mabilis niyang pinunasan ito.

"I trusted her. I devoted my life to her and took care of her. . . I was scared that I  might hurt her," he swallowed hard. "My demons are high, Eva. I'm rough and mad and was scared that I might hurt her again." He chuckled slightly and shook his head.

"And instead of confronting her, I turn away and hide my demons in my closet." He licked his lower lips. "But I never expected that she would do that to me. I never. . ." He stopped and dipped his head slightly.

Mahirap pa rin ito sa kanya at ramdam ko ang sakit. Ginawa rin sa akin ito ng ka live-in partner ko noon. Pareho kami ng pinagdaanan ni Sebastian, at alam ko kung anong klaseng sakit ito sa puso.

I ran away. That was my choice back then. I can't go back anymore. My world ended like his. My heart shattered into millions of pieces.

Siguro magaling ako sa takbuhan, dahil ginawa ko rin naman kay Sebastian ito. . . Umalis din ako.

"Seb. . ." Gumapang ang kamay ko sa likod niya.

"But, I have moved on, Eva. . . Kaya noong sinabi ni Vansel na girlfriend ka niya, ay bumalik ang lahat nang sakit at hindi ko sinadya ang bawat salitang nabigkas ko." He composed himself and is now facing me.

"I'm sorry... I was careless and didn't think of your feelings first. I know I could never turn back the time we've lost. I understand that I can't force you to forgive me, and I know I could never teach your heart to open to me because someone else already has it."

Huh?

"But I don't care, Eva. I know he holds your heart now, but I still love you, and I'm willing to wait, Eva... Hangga't wala pa akong nakikitang singsing sa daliri mo ay gagawin ko ang gusto ko pagdating sa 'yo."

Ano raw? Hindi ko maintindihan ha...

"Forgive me, but I will woo you once more. I will make you love me again."

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c.m. louden