Sebastian

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"Thank you for coming, Seb." Martha gave me a hug and I return it warmly.

"All for you, Martha... you are my family. Remember that." I sighed. "I know it's hard, but time will come that Dad will realize everything. You will be fine."

"At kung darating man iyon, ay hindi na rin ako aasa, Sebastian." She pouted and shakes her head. I chuckled. I know she's tough. No one can beat her.

"Ang ganda ng puwesto na nakuha mo. Are you looking for an investor? I can help you," I offered.

"No. Thank you, Seb. I can do it myself. Don't get involve, please. I don't want to be track by him." Her eyebrow raise. "By the way, don't forget those." Itinuro ng hintuturong daliri niya ang isang box sa gilid. Alam ko na agad kung para kanino ito.

"Okay. Not a problem. Thank you."

"Thanks. And let's catch up again. Busy pa ako eh." Sa mga customer niya agad na nakalinya na siya nagtungo. Tinulungan na niya ang kahera.

"Okay. See you then. I'll call you later." I waved, now picking up the box. It was heavy though.

IT was almost ten when I got home. Ruby waggle her tail, looking so happy to see me. I bend a little, giving her a quick hug and patted her head. I opened the treat on the side and give her a few. She's eating happily.

Ibinaba ko lang din ang box na bitbit, dahil para naman ito sa anak ko. Tulog na siguro iyon, at sana bukas ay makita niya ito. Sana nga lang magustuhan niya ang binigay ni Martha sa kanya.

I step into the shower, thinking of one person. . . Eva.

She's been in my mind lately. I saw her today at the usual spot, and tried to avoid her. But she came to me, explaining the situation she was in at the Rampage.

Honestly, at first, I was dissapointed. I didn't expect to see her there. I have build an infatuation only to find out that she belongs to the Rampage, and that is a red flag.

I will never fall for a Rampage girl. Never.

My schedule on the Rampage as their VIP is every Tuesday. Everyday is different.

Different personalities, different VIP's, and probably different calendar girl. Matagal na ako sa Rampage. Simula pa lang noong kami pa ng ex-wife ko.

My marriage to her was never happy. . . I can't make her happy, and vice-versa. So, in frustration to my needs, the Rampage made it all possible for me.

That was the only way for me to survive. . . That was my outlet.

Pinatay ko na ang shower at pinatuyo ang katawan. Si Eva pa rin ang nasa isip ko.

Her telling me her reasons made me hate myself.

Why did I judge her straight away? Yes, I have no right. They also has a life and they need to survive, but damn it. This is complicated. Or maybe, I was just making it all complicated for myself.

"It's been two years, Sebastian. You deserve some love," Martha said in the line.

It's late. I couldn't go to sleep, ending up drinking half a bottle of whiskey. I'm not drunk, but I need to think thoroughly. I know myself. I'm bothered, and I need to fix this.

"I noticed the changes in you. . . Lahat naman tayo ay nagbabago, Sebastian. Walang masama kung magmahal ka ulit. Malaya ka na. Hindi mo na kailangan na matali pa sa nakaraan mo."

I heard her yawning. I chuckled in silence.

"Go to bed, Martha. Don't keep me company. I'm alright."

"Huh, talaga? Kilala na kita, Seb... Kung sino man siya ay wala akong problema. Wala akong pakialam kung nagtitinda siya ng barbeque sa gilid ng daan. Basta ang mahalaga, ay mahal ka at mahal mo. Wala akong problema."

I sighed deeply and jerked my head, looking at the dark sky. The sky was too dark. Madilim ito at hindi ko makuha ang sagot na gusto ko.

Kung nagtitinda nga lang si Eva ng barbeque ay wala akong problema. Pero iba ito. Iba ang tinitinda niya at hindi basta-basta.

But I'm his first, and she wants me. Only me and nothing else. She will only stay there for four weeks. She already had her first week with me, and she only needs three more.

Dammit. I'm so fucked up. I know that.

"I want to let go of her, but I can't. . ."

Martha laughed in the line.

"Eh, gago ka pala. Why let go if you like her? Don't you want to pursue her? Is she easy to please?"

I scoffed and shook my head. "She's easy to please," I answer. I don't think Eva is complicated. Not as complex as me.

"Can you imagine her with someone else? Can you stand it?"

"No," I said straight away. I fisted my fist into a ball, and my heart hammered.

"I don't love her. I don't think it's love."

"How do you know? Paano mo malalaman kung hindi mo susubukan, Sebastian?"

My jaw tightened, and I jerked my head again.

Damn this feeling. I'm too old for this.

"Goodnight, Martha..."

"That's it. Dismiss me then," she laughed. "Good night, too, my dear big brother. I love you."

"And I love you too," I said, ending the call. I better head off to bed. I could probably think better tomorrow.

***

Eva

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"Salamat, Vansel."

Tingap ko ang nakabalot na pagkain galing sa kanya. Hindi ako umuwi sa dormitory kagabi dahil marami akong inayos sa bagong bahay na lilipatan ko. 

"All for you, Eva. Are you free tonight?"

"Hindi eh...may gagawin ako." I can't tell him what I'm really up to. 

"Okay, but will I see you tomorrow? Day off mo bukas hindi ba?"

Naalala ko lang din ito. "Oo. Sige. Kita na lang tayo bukas." Binawi ko sa ngiti at mukhang nakumbinse siya.

"Sige. Bye, Eva..."

"Bye..." I waved slowly as he walked away. 

Mabait si Vansel. Sobra. Siya lang yata ang mamimis ko sa dormitoryo na ito. 

Hindi pa nga ako tuluyang nakaalis, ay ang malakas na musika agad ang sumalubong sa akin sa pinto. Nagtagpo ang kilay ko nang matitigan ko ang pinto ni Tricia. Wala na yatang pag-asa pa na magbago ang babaeng ito!

My day almost ended smoothly, and I am now preparing for the show. 

Mabilis akong inayusan ni France, at excited rin siya, dahil malaki ang komisyon niya noong nakaraang linggo galing sa akin. Hawak niya kasi ako. Dalawa kami na hawak niya. 

"Malaki ang komisyon mo noong gabing iyon, Eva. Natingnan mo na ba sa bank account mo?" Kinulot niya lang ang dulo ng buhok ko.

"Hindi pa. Emergency funds ko iyon, kaya hindi ko na lang muna tiningnan. Ayaw ko kasing galawin."

"Really? That was so clever of you. I like that." Pumilantik ang kamay niya, at matabang na ngumiti sa akin.

"Alisha is back. She wasn't here last week." Pinal niyang inayos ang admit ko. 

"Alisha? Who?" 

"She's one of the calendar girls. The most famous one."

Sabay kaming napatingin ni France sa pinto nang may pumasok. 

"Francee! I miss you!" 

Kumurap ako nang makita siya. Agad niyang niyakap si France at saka nagtatalon ang dalawa. May dala siyang pasalubong kay France, at purong pabango ang mga ito.

"Imported iyan, Francee. Galing France," pagmamayabang niya. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako nag-e-exist sa kwartong ito. 

"Did you have fun?" si France sa kanya.

"Oo naman! Mr. Jhonson was fun to be with. Galante!"

Napatingin si Alisha sa akin, at nawala ang ngiti niya sa labi.

"Sino ka?" Lumipat ang mga mata niya kay France.

"Uhm, si Eva. . . Eva this is Alisha. Ali si Eva," pagpakilala ni France sa main.

"Bago si Eva. Kasisimula niya lang last week."

"Oh, I see. . . welcome to the club, Eva!" Niyakap niya agad ako na para bang close agad kami. 

Napangiwi ako sa sarili. "N-nice to meet you." I feel my body stif.

"Ang liit mo at ang ganda mo pa. Good luck, Eva!"

"Ikaw rin... maganda ka rin, sobra."

"Thank you!" Tumili siyang saglit at saka mabilis na naupo sa bakanteng upuan, sa tabi ko. Siya na ngayon ang inaayusan ni France, dahil tapos na ako.

"Make me beautiful, Francee... Nakita ko ang crush ko eh. Nandito siya!" ulit na tili niya.

Inayos ko na lang ang panty ko at bra. Naka two-piece bikini ako ngayon, at imbes na pakpak ng angel, ay see-through na damit na kulay puti ang suot ko. May konting glitters ito at maganda sa katawan ko. Hulma ang lahat at nakikita ang loob ko. 

"Your crush? You mean..."

"Yes, si Mr. Grayson! Oh my God! I've been waiting for him. Ang tagal niya kayang nawala. Ang tagal niyang hindi dumalaw rito. Na-miss ko siya. Sobra..."

Napatingin agad ako kay Alisha at nag-marathon ang puso ko. 

Nandito siya? Nandito si Sebastian? 

"I will choose him tonight! I can't wait," agap ni Alisha.

"Alisha, let me remind you, hija... you are not allowed to disclose the name of your VIP client. Mawawalan ka ng trabaho, inday," France reminded her. 

"I know, Francee, but I can't help it. . . It was just suddenly that I saw him and followed him. Hindi ko naman intension iyon. Pero kasi, type na type ko siya...don't worry. I know the rules. I will not defy it." She smiled widely. 

"Basta make the most beautiful tonight, okay? At ako naman ang mauuna sa tawag. Akin ang linggo na ito, at akin si Mr. Daddy Long Legs ko!" 

Tumili siyang lalo at natawa lang si France. Napatingin si France sa akin, at peke akong ngumiti sa kanya. May bahid na mensahi ang titig niya sa akin, at mahina lang akong tumango. 

Napayuko akong saglit at napahawak ako sa puso. 

Nandito si Sebastian. Para ba sa akin? Dahil ba sa akin? 

Im excited. But I have a problem...Alisha will choose him. 

Dang it! Kung malas ka nga naman ano. Siya kasi ang unang tatawagin ni Madam sa rolya at pangalawa ako. 

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c.m. louden

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