Eva

.

I felt so empty after he left. I stared at the glamorous chandelier above me while I finished my warm drink.

Hindi ako makapanila sa nangyari. Halos hindi ma-proseso ng utak ko ang nangyari kagabi.

Wala sa plano ko ang bumigay agad kay Sebastian Grayson. Pero dahil lihim ko na siyang nagustuhan, ay naging kampante ako. Pero hindi naman natapos iyon. Pareho kaming nabitin sa ere. . . o baka nga lang ako.

Panay ang tingin ko sa mga kapwa calendar rampage na bumababa galing sa penthouses nila. Kasama nila ang mga kliyente nila at mukhang masaya sila sa isa't-isa.

They all looked happy with their clients, sleeping with them, accompanying them the entire night, and having great conversations. While me? Sebastian walked away without even asking for my number.

Napailing ako.

Ano pa ba ang maasahan ko sa kanya? Eh, mukhang malihim masyado ang buhay niya.

We did not even talk about ourselves. There was no introduction to our backgrounds. It's not that I'm not interested, because I am. It's just that whenever he's in front of me, those details are cut short, and our desire to want each other is stronger.

Unang umaga ngayon sa coffee house.

I'm looking forward to seeing him and buying his macchiato. I'm excited, and I can't wait to see him. I realized I wasn't an expert at making macchiato, so I discreetly asked John how to make it properly before work today. He taught me well, and I'm confident I can improve my macchiato.

Simpli lang iyon. May mali ako. Kaya siguro mapakla at mapait masyado ang macchiato ko. Pero ngayon ay sinisiguro ko na magugustuhan na ni Sebastian ito.

I kept glancing at the entrance door of my workplace, hoping that Sebastian would arrive, but he did not.

Alas dyes na lang, wala pa rin, hanggang sa nagtanghalian.

Ano pa ang nangyayari? Baka may emergency lang siguro siya.

Oo, tama, emergency lang at baka bukas ay nandito na ulit siya at o-order ng macchiato sa akin.

THE NEXT DAY, it's the same again... no Sebastian.

The following day, it's getting depressing, and still, no Sebastian.

Day after day, and now it's been four days... still, no Sebastian. And trust me, I feel so fucking rejected!

Sinasadya niya ba ito? Walang palto siya pagdating sa macchiato niya, at araw-araw siyang nandito kahit pa bumagyo, pero ngayon? Nasaan na ba siya? Iniiwasan niya ako? Tang-ina naman oh!

Pang limang araw na ngayon. Hindi na ako mapakali, at pakiramdam ko ay masisiraan na ako ng bait sa sarili.

Sabihin na natin na nabigla siya. Eh, ako rin naman ah! Pero okay naman na iyon. We made up. We touched, we kissed, we embraced. May kulang pa ba?

Tumingala ako sa langit at bahagyang natawa ako sa sarili. Desperada na ako, kaya ako nandito sa eskinita.

"Ang tanga mo, Eva...Can't you see that he is avoiding you at all costs? He must be disappointed, for sure. And now that he knows what I'm up to, he will never come to see me again."

Para akong baliw na nagsasalita sa sarili habang nag-aabang sa eskinitang ito. Alam kung dadaan siya rito. Nakikita ko ang mga matatanda na binibilhan niya ng gulay at prutas sa bawat umaga. Wala na rito ang iilang nanlilimos. Siguro lumipat sila ng pwesto.

Inayos ko ang sunglasses na suot pati na ang sombrero. I'm done with my walking exercise, and now before going to work, I'm spying on Sebastian.

Bumilis agad ang tibok ng puso ko nang makita ko siya. Sumandal ako sa dingding ng gusali at nagtatago sa kumpulan ng mga tao na naghihintay na makatawid.

Dumaan si Sebastian. Pormal at seryoso. Naka wrangler jeans na faded blue, crocs while t-shirt na naka-insert at leather black shoes ang suot. Kahit sa simpling ayos niya, ay lumilitaw ang ka-gwapuhan niya sa madla. Sadyang mapala siya nang ginawa siya ng Dios. Lahat-lahat binigay sa kanya.

Napalunok ako nang bumaba ang mga mata ko sa gitnang bahagi ng pantalon niya. Huminto siya sa isang matanda na nagtitinda ng gulay, at may inabot siyang pera. Ngumiti siya, at nag-kwento saglit bago umalis.

Hindi ko inalis ang mga mata ko sa kanya, hanggang sa sinundan ko na. Huminto siya sa kanto na kung saan ito ang kanto ng coffee shop, at ngumiti ako. Pero nawala rin ang ngiti ko sa labi nang makitang tumawid na siya sa kabila at nagpatuloy na.

Bumagsak ang balikat ko. Tama nga ako. Umiiwas na siya sa coffee shop, at sadyang hindi na siya pumupunta para makita ako. . . ayaw na niya akong makita.

***

Sebastian

.

"She's getting better and has been very well-behaved. You're such a beautiful girl, Ruby."

Hinaplos ni Carmello and ulo ni Ruby at walang humpay ang pag kawag ng kanyang buntot kay Carmello.

"Be a good girl to daddy Seb, okay?" he chuckled and looked at me. "All her vitamins and medicines are packed in her suitcase, Seb. Sabihan mo na lang ang katulong na sa tamang oras ang pag-inom ng gamot ni Ruby."

"I will. Thank you," I responded, now rubbing Ruby's head. The dog wagged her tail at me, looking so loving and happy.

"I'm relieved that you're safe, sweetheart." I embraced her, and she seated herself on my lap.

"Tawagan mo lang ako kung may problema ulit. Bukas ang veterinary clinic ko buong gabi. At huwag ka na ulit mag-iwan ng tsokolate sa kahit na anong bahagi ng bahay mo, Sebastian. Alam mo naman na bawal sa aso ito."

I gritted my teeth and steadied myself as I held Ruby's leash.

"I know... I will be extra careful next time."

Bahagya siyang natawa at napailing. "I bet it's not your fault, right?"

I know Carmello understands that it wasn't really my fault. He knows me well. I'm very perfectionistic when it comes to my needs, my belongings around the house, and even the food I eat.

"Tatawagan ko ang anak mo. Alam kong siya na naman ang dahilan. Hindi madali magpalaki ng isang teenager na anak, Sebastian. Medyo makalat sila. At kilala kita, ayaw na ayaw mo siyang pagsabihan. Kaya ako na, bilang ninong niya ang magbibigay payo." Pilyo siyang ngumiti.

"Salamat, Carl. I'll catch up with you again, okay?"

"Sure. When is the house blessing of your mansion?"

Sabay na kaming naglakad palabas ng veterinary clinic.

"Sa susunod na linggo. Be sure to attend. You need to catch up with us."

"Sure, I will. Send my regards to the two lunatics. Tell them I'm coming."

"I will. Thanks again."

Komportableng pumwesto si Ruby sa passenger seat, sa likod ng kotse. Sadyang pinagawa ko ang upuan at espesyal sa kanya. Ibinaba niya ang agad ulo sa upuan at masaya niya akong tinitigan.

"Let's go home, Ruby," I said as I patted her head, feeling better after that moment.

Ruby is more than just a dog. . . She is my baby.

It's Saturday today, and I'm at Café Haus early. I'm sipping my macchiato while reading the newspaper at our usual spot.

It's been five days since I promised never to step foot in that coffee shop again and to never see Eva. . . it's not going to happen.

It used to be fun visiting her workplace for her macchiato. I felt infatuated, acting like a teenager. I got butterflies every time I saw her there, but after that night, all those feelings simply vanished.

She's not innocent. That's why it's hard to deal with the young ones. They're clingy. Immature and irresponsible.

"Himala?" si Luciano. Tinapik niya agad ang balikat ko bago siya naupo.

"What's going on with this vibe, Seb?" He glances at the macchiato I'm sipping.

"What happened to the sexy angel across the road? Aren't you getting any of her macchiatos anymore?" He chuckles, then raises his hand to call over the next available waitress.

"Same as usual, Gracie. Thank you, baby!" He ordered with a flying kiss.

I sighed and slightly shook my head.

"So, what's up with Eva? Did you get her number?" he sounded excited.

I scoffed and shook my head. "I'm done with her. She's not good for me," my shoulder sagged.

"What do you mean, not good for you? Pakakawalan mo?" He jerked his head.

"Kilala kita, Seb. Hindi ka interesado sa mga babae, at sadyang si Eva lang ang naiiba sa paningin mo. I was happy that finally, you are interest of someone."

"But she's not the one.  She's young, clumsy, and she works at the. . ." I paused, gritting my teeth. It's hard to say it, as it bothers me.

Sa tuwing naiisip ko si Eva, ay ang hubad na katawan niya ang nakikita ko. At kahit pa sa pagpikit ng mga mata ko tuwing gabi, ay ito pa rin ang nakikita ko.

I honestly want her. My effing shaft is ten times stronger every time I think of her. It was a punishing hell of wanting her, but I needed to control myself. I want to stop before I get into trouble that I can't escape. I don't want that anymore.

"What? Don't tell me she's one of the Calendar Rampage?" Luciano's eyes widened a fraction.

My jaw tightened as we stared.

"What the fuck... that was effing cool. Shit." He covered his mouth from shock. "Are you sure, Seb?"

"Yes, I was her most recent client," I said, dipping my head as I found it difficult to confess.

"Fuck. What the hell, Seb." Ulit na tinakpan niya ang bibig, at saka pilyong ngumiti. "I bet she's hot as fuck, right? Dammit." Sabay iling niya.

Yes, so fucking hot that I could no longer sleep in peace.

"What's your plan now?" Napa-inom siya ng tubig.

"Nothing. Just run away. I don't want her."

"Seriously, Seb?" He let a short laughed, like it's fucking unbelievable. "Damn, sexy hot babies."

.

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