Chapter Two
My eyes flattered open slowly then sunlight hit me. I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned at the ache behind my eyes. It felt like I had a brick of steel sitting inside my head. I would've rather had a pencil jammed up my nose than be exposed to sunlight.
I groaned again, this time because of the chirping of the birds. My brain felt like it was swelling beyond the capacity of my skull, and my stomach lurched and gurgled. With my eyes closed, my hands searched the bed for a duvet cover as it was cold, too cold to get out of bed. When I got tired of searching for the duvet, I slowly levered my eyelids up. It took a few seconds for my brain to comprehend what my eyes was seeing.
I saw Hunter Cullen sit up on the bed, rubbing his eyes then my mouth fell open. I looked around, seeking an explanation for why I was in the same bed with Hunter Cullen.
"What the!" he jumped off the bed as soon as he saw me. I screamed, that was all I could do. I screamed so loud, and made my hangover worse. "Shut up dipstick," he insulted rubbing his temple.
"How am I—" I choked, getting off the bed, "what are you—"
"What are you doing here?" he said, squinting. He rubbed his temple again. He probably had a hangover too but mine was worse. Why was I in the same bed with him? "This is my condo," he stated.
"You're such a donkey!" I yelled, covering my bosom with my hands even though I was wearing clothes. "You took advantage of me, didn't you?" I asked. I didn't have any idea what happened after I got drunk but I was sure there was no way I'd willing get in the same bed with him.
"I'd rather bang a cactus," he retorted.
"The cactus would run away from your stupid face," I said in return, tossing my dark hair to my side.
"I don't know how you got here but get out before I call the—" he was interrupted by the slamming of his door then I followed him out to the hall. Rory and Nessa were standing there, grinning ear to ear. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. Why was Vanessa here? She didn't like these boys any more than I did.
"Good morning Mr and Mrs Swan Cullen." Rory yelled in excitement. Mr and Mrs who?
"I was going to say that," Nessa stepped on Rory's foot. He grunted, screaming in pain as his face turned red. "Good morning Mr and Mrs Swan Cullen," she repeated in a softer voice.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, scratching my forehead, willing the headache to go away.
"Yeah, what are you talking about?" Hunter also asked.
"Stop kidding around bro," Rory stated, walking to Hunter, "You don't remember?"
"Remember what?" Hunter enquired.
"You swore eternity to your arch nemesis," Rory explained quite vaguely.
"Check your rings." Nessa suggested, pointing to our fingers. I looked at my ring finger and saw a fake gold ring on it. This was why I never drank.
"This is a prank right?" I asked.
"Rory, what did you do?" Hunter asked.
"You seriously don't remember?" Rory questioned, searching our faces. "Vanessa why don't you show them their certificate."
"Listen you nitwit, I'll show them the certificate when I wanna show them the certificate. Don't boss me around." Nessa scolded.
"Do we seriously have to argue every time—" Rory started in frustration.
"Show us, just show us!" Hunter yelled.
"Oh shut up," I cringed. "Stop yelling," I whispered then Hunter scoffed, shaking his head.
Nessa took a sheet from her hand bag and handed it to me, I saw the printing and I saw my signature. My signature sometimes looks like an old woman juggling two babies.
"I'll take that," Hunter yanked it out of my hands before I could read. "I don't remember signing this!" He scowled in frustration.
"Well that's your signature," Rory said.
"You drugged me and forced me to marry you." Hunter turned to me.
"I'd rather drown in lizard sweat." I defended. Wait, do lizards sweat? "Nessa why didn't you stop me? Was I that drunk?" I asked.
"I tried to stop you but you took a sponge and stuck it in my mouth," she said. It was way too early to have had any form of mental breakdown so I inhaled sharply then let out the biggest exhale.
"Him?" I said in disgust pointing to Hunter.
"And you think I want to be married to you? You look like Freddy Kruger's sister," he said and I gasped.
"Dude, I know we hate her and stuff but that's not true. She is extremely hot," Rory whispered to Hunter, but it was loud enough for me to hear.
"You know what, let's go to court and get a divorce," Hunter suggested.
"An annulment, you moron," I retorted.
"Go find yourself a lawyer."
"Fine!" I yelled.
*
"Your honor, my client would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, dream of marrying a girl like Alexis Swan consciously," Rory stated.
We were in judge Peterson's office, pleading for a annulment. The office was simple, a small wooden bookshelf filled to the brim was near the door, the walls were a navy color while the door was pitch black. There was a desk and a chair where the Judge sat and that was it. She was shorter than anyone I had ever met, her dark hair was turning grey and her skin was wrinkling but she still looked pretty. She was a tough cookie to crack but with a little feminist talk, the judge would be eating out of my palm.
"Your honor, my client is still a young feminist. She aspires to be a great scientist and she can't do that if she's taking care of herself, and this overgrown man child," Nessa said. She was in law school and even though she was a freshman like me, she was so good at convincing people.
"So you're telling me that when you woke up, you two were married with a legal marriage certificate," The judge stopped, taking off her glasses, "but none of you remember signing this or being in a church?" She added. As ridiculous as it sounded, it was the truth.
"Your honor look at me, take a good look at me," Hunter said, pointing to himself, "why on earth would I marry this crazy person," he added then I hit him in his unsurprisingly hard abs with my elbow.
"Have you watched what happens in Vegas?" Peterson asked then we all nodded. Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz got drunk in that movie and ended up getting married. "Your story is strangely similar, isn't it?"
Well, what did I say about clichés?
"Mr and Mrs Cullen, marriage is a commitment, it should be respected. I'm not granting you an annulment. Stay together as a couple in Mr Cullen's condo for three months and if it still doesn't work out, then and only then will I grant you the annulment," she explained.
"Can she do that?" I asked Vanessa.
"I've no idea. I'm only a freshman."
"Your honor please," I whined, "I can't stay with him, he's a rapist," I whispered.
"I heard that." Hunter growled.
"So just to be sure this is the real version of what happens in Vegas?" Rory asked, "so can I bang Vanessa since Ashton and Cameron's bffs did the nasty?" he added then Vanessa cringed in disgust. She nearly hit him but I held her down.
"Keep saying things like that and you'll see what jail looks like," Peterson answered.
"Got it," Rory nodded.
"And Mr and Mrs Cullen, don't think you can fool me. I'll be sending an officer to check up on you anytime," Peterson said.
"Are you serious?" Hunter asked the judge, annoyed.
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"I can't tell because you have that stoic thing going for you," he said.
"This is all your fault!" I yelled at Hunter.
"How come I don't remember anything?" Hunter said to himself. How come I didn't remember anything. "Now I have to live with her?"
"Now I have to live with him?" I said in disgust to Nessa.
"Look on the brighter side, way brighter side, he's rich and hot. That should cover up some of the stupid," Nessa stated, running her fingers through my hair. "That's totally amaze balls right?" She smiled nervously as I turned red. I was so angry.
"Now listen, there are two rooms in my condo. You'll sleep in one, I'll sleep in the other since you're homeless," Hunter stated.
"You're such a douche." I crossed my arms. "I'm going to kill you in your sleep," I said underneath my breath, making sure the judge wouldn't hear.
"Not unless I kill you first," he said quietly, through gritted teeth.
"I hate you."
"You want war?" he asked. "Fine, I'll give you war."
"It is on!" Rory yelled.
"Team Swan will murder you," Vanessa started, walking to Rory.
"Not unless team Cullen murders you first." Rory said. I was going to make his life a living hell and by the way he was glaring at me, he was thinking the same about me.
A/N
Thank you for reading. I seriously advice not to take this book seriously because obviously a judge can't force anyone stay married....well, I hope. Just enjoy the book and don't take it seriously. Thanks. Love you.
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