The ring of my phone wakes me before I'm ready to get up, and a small groan slips from my lips as I feel around my nightstand until it's in my grasp.

I don't have to look at the screen to know it's Yoongi hyung calling, he's been calling every single day since I reached out to let him know I'm okay and I don't know why I was expecting anything less.

He's worried, rightfully so, but the more he calls, the further I pull away.

There's a weight on my chest that won't go away, no matter how thoughtful he may or may not be be. I had hoped calling would settle at least some of his nerves and buy me time until I wanted to reach back out, but it seems to have done the exact opposite.

It's cruel and unfair.

I know that.

I know pulling away is only causing me more problems, but I can't help myself.

I want to be able to confide in my family, especially Yoongi hyung, who from the time I was born has been my best friend.

Until Yugyeom, he was the only person I told everything to.

Letting out a soft sigh, I reach for the cord attached to my phone and unplug it before rolling onto my back and scrolling through the notifications.

There's a new missed call notification, bringing my unchecked messages to three.

Running my fingers through my tangled hair, I sit up with my phone and call my voicemail. I follow the prompts until Yoongi hyung's message from yesterday afternoon plays.

'Gguk-ah, since this went straight to your voicemail, I'm going to take the wild guess that your phone is off.' His voice is steady and calm, but I can hear the frustration under the words. 'I just need to hear your voice once. Please call me back.'

I chew nail of my index finger as the next message plays.

'Jungkook-aaah, it's me again. I'm trying to give you your space, but I'm really worried about you. It's been a whole month and I just, I just miss you. Please call me back. It doesn't matter when it is. I just, I need to hear your voice. Just once gguk-ah.'

Guilt climbs my ribcage, hanging on them like they're monkey bars as my hand moves into my hair. This shouldn't be this hard.

'Ggukie, if you're not going to call me back, then at least text me. I need more than just you calling me in the middle of the night telling me you're okay. Mom's been worried sick and I need to know where you are. Please call or text—hell, I'll take an email if that's what you would like. But please get back to me soon. I miss you. I love you. Your Yoongi hyung. It sounded like formal but please call me back my little brother.'

Part of me wants to call him back immediately and tell him everything. I miss talking to him but calling means opening pandora's box I can't close.

It'll only snowball from there, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I miss him, but not enough to hold up the lens into my downfall.

I'm not ready for him to be that close to it.

Because I know the second, I do, he'll try to protect me from it. He'll want to pick up the pieces and put them back together, even if they don't quite fit anymore

He'll jam them together until they resemble something that looks like the Jungkook he knew, but it's not his job.

It's mine.

The screen of my phone dims to black as I toss it to the empty side of the bed and rack my fingers through my hair until I have it all gathered and can pull it into a ponytail with the elastic on my wrist.

I push myself up and crawl to the end of the mattress, peaking at the alarm clock on the nightstand that reads 7:00 am and realize I'm not getting any more sleep with the sun making itself known through the thin white curtains.

I make a mental note to get some thicker ones with my first pay cheque, and dig through my drawers for something to run in.

It's been a week since I arrived in Daecheon, six days since I decided to stay and four since I started working at Love Maze, but somehow it feels like I've been here a lifetime.

There's something so comfortable about being here—like it's where I should have been from the start. It feels oddly like home, while also being completely different.

My lips curl up at the morning sun on my skin, leaning my head back to soak in the rays before letting my feet carry me across the sand.

There's a thrill in the way my legs burn the longer I run, but I still find myself seeking the adrenaline that overwhelms my body.

The harder it is to breathe, the easier it is to remember that it's only for a short period. That I'm seeking this feeling to remind myself that the panic that sneaks up on me is only temporary—I'm not actually dying.

I come to a slowed pace when the house Seokjin went into the day we met bleeds into my line of sight. My curiosity has only grown about Taehyung since learning that Seokjin is his brother—adopted or not.

There's something about him that has me wanting to ask questions. A lot of them.

Questions I shouldn't have, but do.

He's tempting me.

"Stalking me now, Busan?" I jump at the sound of Taehyung's voice and turn to see him with his surfboard as he walks up the beach towards me.

He pushes the wet curls hanging in his eyes back as he drops the surfboard in the sand. The end of the board at my feet.

"What? No!" I say almost too fast for him to believe I'm telling the truth. "You'd like that though, wouldn't you?"

He takes a second to think about it before his lips curl up, and that cute boxy smile appears.

"Maybe. So...is it true?."

"No, I was just on my run," I tell him, despite not needing to and point to the house. "Do you live here?"

His lips turn into a smirk as he pulls the cord on his wetsuit, freeing his arms from the tight fabric, and I avoid studying his shirtless chest.

"Is that supposed to make me believe you're not stalking me?" he asks with a laugh but doesn't wait for my answer. "Yeah I do."

"It's nice."

"Oh, yeah, it is." His tone is dripping in sarcasm as he sits next to his board, resting his weight back on his hands. "So, running, huh?"

"Am I supposed to know what that means?"

He shrugs. "Nope. Are you always up this early?"

"Mhmm...," I admit, chewing my bottom lip as I pull on the sleeves of my white sweater to cover the heel of my hands. "You?"

"I am lazy rat."

"What makes today special?"

He tilts his head back and smiles at me, patting the spot in the sand next to him. "Sit down and I may tell you."

"I am not interested in knowing what keeps you up at night."

"Aw, come on," he says, waving me to sit. "You know you're interested."

Despite my better judgement, I sink into the sand next to him and crisscross my legs. Pressing my lips together in a tight line as I square my shoulders, building up my walls.

"I don't bite, Busan."

"What?" I ask, turning my head.

"You look like you're on the defence."

My lips curl up slightly. "Maybe I am."

"Because of me?" Taehyung's brow curl up as he looks at me confused.

"You do have the aptness to lie to me."

He snickers. "You're never going to let it slide, will you?"

"Not gonna happen."

"Okay." He sits up straighter, running his fingers through his hair again, this time leaving sand in the dark waves of his hair. "So, you like running."

"Does anyone like running?" I ask before deciding to throw him a bone. "I mean, aside from me?"

His laugh is gentler than I expect it to be, but it coats my skin in bumps. The sound exciting me, and it makes the knot in my stomach twist, knowing that it has some effect on me. More than it should, and more than I'll ever be able to admit out loud.

"You actually enjoy it?" he asks looking curious.

I nod. "Love it, even."

"Sounds like true love."

"Maybe." I shrug. "At least, it will stay with me."

That silences him, making him miss his cue to say something else as his warm eyes settle on my face. He studies my skin, like he's looking for the answers to the questions he won't dare ask me.

"So, surfing, huh?" I ask slicing the uncomfortable silence between us.

He smiles his beautiful boxy smile and I get a little giddy knowing I'm the one that put it there.

"Surfing is just a side interest."

"You any good?"

"I can hold my own," he says. "If you want to see someone that's really good, you should see Jin hyung."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he shares. "He's actually competing this weekend. You should come check it out. It is the opening of Mud Festival."

"What about the mud festival?"

"What about it?"

"I heard its quite amazing."

"What your amazing is?" He turns to look and study my face.

"Umm...to let your worries go kind of amazing."

A most genuine smile comes on his face as he turns to look at the sea, "well. Its just like what you said to let your worries go kind of amazing. People across the country and from around the world come to join the fest. Its so close to go again be a child and play like there is nothing to care about. It's the festival for being careless and carefree again. To celebrate your childhood."

I look at him for more explanation and he continues.

"Well you see we have mud slides and mud pools around the beach so it will be the most busiest day for our pier as people all around the world come to visit and to be so intoxicated they may need drinks and a little free food so we serve complimentary packages in the whole week. And who doesn't enjoy free food. So, its win-win from all sides. People would buy anything and everything after a long tiring session of playing and pooling in muds."

"So we wont be able to enjoy the festival as a whole."

"No, no its not like that, The day of the competition of surfing is the day we close the restaurant full day though it serves us as a great loss but who cares. We want a little to ourselves too."

'It is the festival for being careless.' I repeat his words in my mind.

"And this surfing competition?" I ask looking fir more clarification.

His greens look at me as excitement runs on his face, "It is on the first day of the festival. It's the main highlight and the beginning of the festival actually."

My lips part to accept the invitation when I see Yugyeom out of the corner of my eye with a scowl on his face, and I immediately feel like I've been caught red-handed.

"Yeah, maybe," I say as I get up to my feet. "I should, uh, get back to my run."

"Okay, I'll text you the details."

"Okay," I say as I move back the way I came before stopping and turning back to him. "You don't have my number."

"A pretty little doe gives you his number and I'm supposed to stay totally professional? Its not fair." he asks with a tiny smile.

I want to be mad, but I can't and instead shake my head.

"Whatever Taehyung...Bye."

"See you, Busan-ey!"

I duck my head to hide the smile on my lips as I start running again. The burn filling my lungs until I'm forced to slow down when I hear Yugyeom calling after me.

I want it to be an easy conversation, but it won't be. I know that much as my skin crawls with anxiety, turning around to face him.

"Who is he?"

"His name is Taehyung," I say. "And he's not important."

Yugyeom's eyes narrow. "You like him."

"No, I work with him." I frown. "I ran into him while I was running, Yugyeom. You have nothing to worry about. I'm yours."

"Are you?"

"Yes, always," I say, and it feels like a promise.

One I've made repeatedly to him.

A promise to always be his.

"Show me." He says and I halt in my steps. His sleeve folded up as he extend his forearm towards me.

"Yugyeom really? Now?" I ask and he jerks his head fast. I sigh and pull my sleeve up to reveal the matching tattoo

A matching tattoo of 'TRUTH' I had with him as the certificate of my truth for him.

"Image of yugyeom"

To have his name tattooed across my heart in possession of what has always been his, but the more I say it, the more I wonder if the words were ever really mine.

***************************************************************

For the last two days, all I've been able to think about is Taehyung and the annoyance that he seems to have wedged his way into my thoughts.

He has no place there, and yet I'm overwhelmed by thoughts of his smile and his warm emeralds.

I can't help it, and the guilt is destroying me.

I shouldn't be thinking about him. My thoughts should be occupied by Yugyeom.

I don't want to be, but that doesn't seem to change the fact I am.

With a pained groan, I push my fingers through my tangled hair and sit up in bed.

The knots from sleeping on it wet making me regret ever going to bed without blow drying it. There didn't seem to be a point in putting in the effort.

But now, as I untangle the strands of hair, I'm wishing I had talked some sense to myself yesterday.

It takes ten minutes to get my hair untangled, and even then, it still looks unkept as I give myself one last glance in the mirror. I really need a haircut.

The long sleeve shirt I slept in hangs low on my shoulders as I walk back into my room from the attached bathroom, unplugging my phone from its spot on the nightstand.

It vibrates in my hand as I pick it up, and with a glance at the screen I see it's Taehyung reminding me about today's highlight, The Surf competition and his hopes of seeing me there.

I've been doing my best to avoid Taehyung since he suggested I come, so it hasn't been brought up since, but seeing it in writing and knowing he wants me there makes it all a little harder.

It's an excitement I don't deserve to have, because my guilt for feeling it is eating at the pit in my stomach. Yugyeom is the only one that should be on my mind, and it's wrong for me, for even a second, to want to be near Taehyung. Want more to do with Taehyung.

It's too much to be thinking about without a strong cup of coffee to make it all a little less worrisome.

I toss my phone into the heap of used bedding and make my way downstairs, where I find Jimin catering a pan of eggs over the stove.

"Morning," I say as I make my way to the coffeepot on the counter.

"Hey." he looks up from what he's doing, smiling in my direction. "Eggs?"

I shake my head and hold up the pot. "you want it?"

"Nope, that's all for you, roomie."

I hum as I open the fridge, adding a bit of milk to the dark liquid to give it a bit of color before taking a seat at the island. The coffee is hot as it hits my tongue, warming me from the inside out as I lean forward on my elbows and cup my mug between my hands.

"So, I heard Seokjin hyung is competing in a surf competition today?"

Jimin nods. "I am too."

"Really?" I ask, my brows furrowed together. "I didn't know you were a surfer."

"I'm not," he says as he plates his eggs, setting the hot frying pan on one of the cold burners. "I mean, I am, but it's more of a hobby for me. Seokjin takes it pretty seriously. He used to travel a lot to surf competitions around the country."

"Used to?" I ask intriguingly.

He shrugs. "Probably hasn't had any time with Shore Thing being up and running now."

"Shore Thing?" I ask, before remembering what Taehyung said about the surf shop Seokjin ran. "Is that the surf shop he runs with Taehyung?"

"Yeah, Taeri helped them get it up and running probably a year and a half ago." He shares and shovels the eggs into his mouth.

He quickly finishes up the small portion before dumping the plate in the sink. "Alright, I've got to get out of here if I want to get there in time."

"Okay," I say, running my thumb over the rim of my cup before setting it down and turning my attention to him again. I shouldn't want to see Taehyung, but I do.

"Hey! Would you be okay if I came to watch?"

He shrugs smiling. "sure thing."

I nod my head and consider my next steps wisely.

What does me going really mean?

Am I really going to support Jimin, or is that just something I'm using to cover the truth?

Me wanting to see Taehyung shouldn't mean anything, because we're friends or something resembling them, at the very least.

I can't seem to help myself from wanting to know him.

With a few more sips of coffee to fuel my system, I hop down from the barstool, fill my cup back up, and make my way back upstairs to get dressed.

It shouldn't be this hard to ignore a boy I care nothing about, but the more I try—the harder it is.

"Surf competition, huh?" I pause in the doorway at the sound of Yugyeom's voice.

"Hey."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to be friends with these people?"

"You agreed," I say. "Yugyeom, I can't just avoid them."

"You can."

"I live with one." I frown as I approach my dresser, opening the top drawer to pick out swimming trunks to wear under my clothes.

"I know you're trying to protect me, but I can protect myself."

"Why are you doing this?" he asks.

I avoid looking at him and keep searching for my white shirt. He asks again, "Gguk where are you going?"

"Nowhere," I sigh as I take my pyjamas off and slip into the burnt orange-black rash guard, stepping into a pair of black spandex and green shorts.

"I just need some air. I'm going to go for a walk."

"Baby."

"You don't have to worry," I say as I look at him, pulling a white open shirt over my bikini top.

"I'll be back soon."

"You don't want me to come?"

I shake my head. "I just need a minute, alone...okay? I'll see you soon."

"Okay."

~~~~~/////~~~~~