The next few weeks passed slowly and uneventfully. It got colder outside, became darker earlier, and some trees started turning yellow, orange, and red. I worked about four days a week at Deb's, various shifts.

I hadn't seen Will at all but I did see his vehicle around town a couple times. Each time, it stabbed me with remorse and humiliation.

Jake had been distant and quiet since the incident. I wasn't sure exactly what had changed but something definitely had. This bothered me immensely more than the loss of Will's friendship. Jake had even started sleeping at his own house again. The first night it happened, I cried myself to sleep. He told me, "I'm gonna try sleepin' at home again. If ya can't sleep or ya get scared, just call. I'll come back", but I was too hurt and embarrassed to do so.

I still invited him for supper every night, but he declined about half of the time. The other half, when he came, things were awkward between us.

I wondered if he blamed me. He had warned me that Will was in love with me. He had told me not to go to Will's alone. If I had listened to Jake, none of the resulting violence would have happened. He had to be mad at me. I couldn't consider any other reason for his behavior being as it was.

On the Sunday before Thanksgiving, I was sweeping the kitchen when I heard Jake's heavy cowboy-booted tread on the front porch. As usual, my stomach fluttered with anticipation, and I opened the wood door before he could knock.

"Hey", he said, seeming surprised.

"Hi", I said, smiling, though my heart felt sad.

"Can I come in?", he asked.

"You do not need to ask", I said. "You don't even need to knock. Just walk in like you used to. You know you're welcome anytime".

He seemed slightly abashed, ducking his head and pressing his lips together. "Sorry, kid", he muttered, stepping inside.

I closed the door behind him.

"Can ya handle me bein' gone for three days?", he asked, shoving his hands into his front jean pockets, seeming nervous.

My heart leapt into my throat but I forced myself to take the high road.

"I am sure I will be fine. Do you need to work?"

"Yeah", he said, his blue-gray eyes scanning mine. "I should really get some more time in before winter hits".

"I completely understand. You need to do what you need to do. I will be fine".

"Ya ain't gonna do nothin' crazy this time?"

"I swear I won't even talk to anyone", I said, feeling my cheeks flush as I recalled the last time he had left for logging.

"You'll keep an eye on yer surroundings? Pay attention to yer gut? Call Trav if anythin's out of the ordinary?"

"Yes", I readily agreed.

"An' you'll check in? Keep me updated where ya are, whatcha doin'?", he asked, seeming more like himself in that moment.

"I will text you my whereabouts all day every day".

One side of his mouth turned up in a half smile then dropped. "I'd sure 'preciate that", he said.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow mornin', early".

"Can I make you supper tonight?", I asked hopefully.

"Thanks, kid, but I gotta pack. I'll just eat somethin' quick".

My heart sank. "You'll be home on Wednesday?"

"Yeah, late. I'll text ya when I'm headin' out".

"Okay".

He turned to leave and I nearly started crying. Why were things so different?!? Why were they so strained?!?

I blinked my tears back hard and had recovered enough to speak before he was completely out the screen door.

"Jake?"

He turned and met my eyes, and I swear his were as pained as I felt.

"Yeah?"

"Thursday is Thanksgiving. Please let me cook for us".

He gave me a little sad smile and nodded. "I'd like that", he said.

Then he was gone.

...........................................................................

Jake's heart was aching somethin' fierce as he strode up the hill through the brush between their cabins. To see that beautiful little gal next door but to avoid her, refrain from touchin' her...it was slowly killin' him. He had decided to pick up some labor to remove himself from his prison more than for the money. He couldn't handle watching her from afar anymore. It was too painful. He needed a break. However, he also wasn't ready to leave her alone for an entire week, especially after what happened last time. Therefore, he used the holiday as an excuse to Dustin to only work Monday through Wednesday.

Hopefully she would be all right with him gone, and hopefully he would get some relief from his heartache.

...........................................................................

I kept my word to Jake by texting him when I left home, telling him where I was going, when I got there, when I left to head home, and when I actually arrived.

He replied with things like a thumbs up or a 'Thanks', which wasn't exactly encouraging, but it was better than not communicating at all.

I focused on being aware of my surroundings and observing others inconspicuously, not because I believed I was in danger any longer, but simply because I wanted to get better at it and make Jake proud.

On Monday I created my Thanksgiving menu and obtained groceries for it. Since Deb and I were baking apple and pumpkin pies for the cafe, and for special orders for local customers, I decided I would simply bring home some of each for us on Wednesday when I left work. Deb thought that was a fantastic idea.

"You made these anyway, hun", she said. "Take whatever you need! I'm so glad the two of you are celebrating together. I hate the thought of Jake spending holidays alone".

Deb would be hosting for her sister, her sister's husband, one of their adult daughters, and her husband and kids. She would also be bringing any pie leftovers home. Deb was absolutely glowing with the anticipation of a full house of family for the weekend.

On Wednesday evening, we each took trips to our vehicles with pies, conducted a thorough cleaning of the kitchen and dining areas, and put a sign in the window which said we were closed until Monday.

She gave me a giant hug after she locked up, then I bent and kissed Eddie on the top of his fuzzy little muzzle. He wagged his tail and looked up at me with large brown eyes of adoration.

"You have a lovely time, darlin'. Call me if you need any help!"

"I will. Enjoy your family time", I told her.

Deb was like the mother I had always wished I had. She had looked over Granny's recipes with me, given me advice, and answered questions about terminology I didn't comprehend. I felt prepared and I really did want to make this meal incredible for Jake.

Speaking of...I got into my car and remembered to text him before heading home. I saw I had missed a text from him about an hour ago. It said, On my way.

I replied- I'm heading home. When will you arrive?

I didn't expect an immediate response because I figured he was driving, so I drove home myself.

I unloaded the pies and checked how thawed the turkey was. It was good to go for cooking tomorrow.

I started a fire in my fireplace then checked my phone.

Jake had replied- Got another three hours. Go to bed.

I felt tears of rejection sting my eyes and impulsively called.

...........................................................................

Jake settled in to the drive. He was listening to the radio loud to keep his mind occupied and alert.

It wasn't working. All he kept thinking about was Riley- the way she talked, the way she moved, how she tucked her hair behind her ear with one nail polished finger, how her clear green eyes conveyed so much emotion, how she wasn't shy about hugging him or taking care of him but she was so damn shy about everything else.

His phone lit up on the seat next to him as she text that she was heading home and wanted to know when he'd be back. He told her not to wait up then set the phone down again.

A few songs later, it rang.

He felt his heart flip as he saw she was calling him then immediately stifled those feelings as he turned down the radio.

"Hey", he answered.

"I won't be able to sleep until I know you're here safely anyway so you might as well come over". She almost sounded annoyed.

"You don't gotta wait up. It's gonna be late".

"I know I don't have to. If I could not worry about you, I could fall asleep, but that's not the case. I'll worry until I see you. So, can you come here?"

She didn't sound annoyed, he realized. She sounded hurt.

Jake hesitated, his heart aching with a desire to see her...and hold her...and everything else he had told himself he couldn't do.

"Jake, please don't make me beg to see you", she said quietly. "I know why you've been different since the incident with Will, but I'm really sorry and I don't know how to make it better other than apologizing. I've told you that you were right. I'll listen to your advice next time".

Jake was stunned. He hadn't realized his behavior was hurting her. He thought he was protecting her feelings but she seemed to be hurting as much as he was, and what was worse- she was blaming herself for the change.

"Darlin', this ain't 'cause of you and it ain't 'cause'a what happened. It's just me, needin' space. I ain't mad atcha".

She was silent for a moment then she said, "At the risk of sounding clingy and desperate, I don't need space. This space feels awful. I miss you and I'm sorry for being smothering. Can you please come here when you get back? I won't even talk to you if you don't want. You can sleep on the couch. I have a fire going and I have whiskey and pie".

Jake started laughing. He couldn't help it.

"You'll leave out whiskey and pie instead of cookies and milk, huh?", he chuckled.

She laughed lightly on the other end.

"My very own mountain version of Santa Claus", she laughed. "You don't need to bring presents, though. Just yourself".

"All right", he agreed softly, feeling a deep relief inside as he gave in to what he wanted so desperately to do. "Darlin', ya ain't done nothin' wrong", he repeated gently. "It ain't you, okay?"

"All right", she said, but she didn't sound convinced.

Two hours later, his driving lethargy disappeared as he realized he only had about an hour left 'till he saw the only positive thing in his life. He felt guilty about giving in but he pacified that guilt by telling himself it was because it was hurting her worse to stay away.

He tried to keep his stomach flutterings and heart pounding under control, but with each mile that brought him closer to her, the more his anticipation grew.

He finally swung into her driveway, taking in the warmth of the light filtering through the curtains and the curl of smoke coming from the chimney. It felt like coming home. He glanced up the hill at his dark, silent shack. The place which actually was his home felt cold and alien.

He turned off the engine, grabbed his duffel bag, and strode up to her front door, heart pounding.

The front door was opening as he climbed the porch stairs. He opened the screen door, walked inside, took one look down into that pale, uncertain, delicate face, dropped his bag, and snatched her up in a hug that took her right off her feet.

He crushed her body against his as her little arms went around his neck. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her berry sweet vanilla smell, and held her until he was sure he wouldn't cry.

At that point he finally set her carefully on her bare feet and met her peridot eyes. She appeared near tears herself.

"Missed ya somethin' fierce, kid", he said honestly.

She nodded, biting the inside of her bottom lip.

"Ya said somethin' 'bout pie?", he asked, which broke the tension.

Her rosebud lips stretched into a perfect glowing smile.

"Apple or pumpkin?"

"Both".

She laughed lightly and headed to the counter as he shut and locked the wooden door.

...........................................................................

When Jake returned, everything felt normal again, as it had before the Will drama. As promised, I gave him his pie, then I gave him his space, heading to bed and letting him sleep on the couch.

I was thankful for finally confronting him about the change between us. I think I understood him now. If he said he needed space, that could only mean one thing- I was crowding in on Liv. He still wasn't over her, he was still in love with her, and I was making him feel like he was cheating on her. That's okay, I could wait. Now that I knew he wasn't mad at me, I could probably wait for him forever, wait for him to have closure from the loss of the love of his life so he could maybe see me as a suitable replacement.

I was thankful to simply have him back, no matter if it was only as a friend.

I woke up early on purpose Thanksgiving morning. I had a lot to do by supper time. I tiptoed past Jake and showered before doing anything else. I almost started blow drying my hair then remembered he preferred it naturally curly, so I simply applied product to it and left it alone.

I unzipped my makeup bag before recalling his comments about not needing to wear that for him, so I reined it in- only using a shimmery pearl eyeshadow, black eyeliner on my top eyelids, and black mascara.

I couldn't resist a shimmery pink lip gloss, but reasoned it was more like chapstick so he would have to deal.

I tiptoed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. As far as I could tell, he was still sleeping. Three days of hard physical labor and a long drive- it made sense.

I quietly made coffee and started peeling potatoes and sweet potatoes. I had completed my potato piles when he woke.

I noticed him stretching his long frame across the couch and quickly started in on a couple fried eggs and toast for him.

I was reading through the stuffing instructions while monitoring his eggs, so I didn't even hear him approaching.

Suddenly one of his large hands trailed softly along the back of my head through the length of my hair, causing butterflies to start fluttering around in my belly.

"Yer gonna leave it like this today, right?", he asked in a low voice which gave me thrilling goosebumps.

I turned slightly to look up at him. Standing so close he always seemed massive. His face was relaxed, his blue-gray eyes connecting softly with my own.

"Yes, I was planning to", I admitted, feeling my cheeks start to burn as my heart thudded- because he was so near and so handsome.

He broke eye contact and watched his fingers trail through my hair again. It felt amazing when he did that. It was sensual, affectionate, personal. It made me feel attractive, yet not in a sexy way- more like in a beautiful way, and somehow it made me feel safe.

He released the ends of the strands he was holding, then said quietly, "I need to shower, check on my house, chop some more wood for both of us. When do ya want me back here?"

"Well", I started, turning and transferring the eggs to his plate, "first I need you to eat this".

I handed him the plate and he took it, seeming slightly surprised.

"In the living room because there's no space out here", I added, handing him a fork and pouring him a mug of coffee.

"And then you can come back whenever you want but my goal is to eat by six. So return anytime before six".

I handed him the coffee. He was staring at me with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Yes, ma'am", he said with a wink, which caused me to smile and blush.

...........................................................................

Jake ate his breakfast purposely from the reclining chair closest to the fireplace facing the kitchen, not actually so he could stoke it up as he was halfheartedly doing, but so he could watch Riley. He really enjoyed watching her move around the kitchen. She dropped the self consciousness when she was cooking or baking. She seemed confident in her culinary abilities and she immersed herself in the process. He found her irresistibly beautiful in the kitchen.

He continued to watch her after he was done eating, sipping his coffee slowly and using that excuse to sit there longer.

She was stirring and turning on the oven and hauling a small naked turkey from the refrigerator. Her hair was loose- curly and beautiful- framing her petite oval face with the slightly pointed delicate chin. She was wearing some leggings and a plain t-shirt covered in a floral apron, with bare feet and only eye makeup on as far as he could tell.

He randomly thought, She dresses up for everyone but she only dresses down for me.

His heart took one giant erratic leap and he felt himself smiling stupidly at her, dumbstruck by the implications.

At that point she glanced up, smiled back, flushed, and said, "Are you about done?"

"Yes, ma'am".

"Maybe you should get your work done quickly so you can come back over here and relax", she suggested lightly, still smiling.

"Yes, ma'am", he agreed, standing.

...........................................................................

I focused on cooking and the hours flew by. Around one when I hit a stopping point, I realized I hadn't eaten anything yet, so I sat and ate a piece of toast. Then I spied on Jake, who was indeed chopping wood outside. I could hear it though I couldn't see him.

When everything was basically ready except the turkey, I set the table with what I could, and stored the rest in the warming drawer. I took that opportunity to change. I knew Jake preferred me casual but I simply couldn't feel comfortable serving Thanksgiving dinner in yoga pants and a t-shirt.

I decided on dark blue denim skinny jeans, a fitted cream colored cashmere v-neck sweater, a delicate short gold necklace with a single round diamond that sat in the hollow of my collarbone, and round diamond earrings with beveled gold settings. I added camel colored leather ankle boots and considered it good.

I had the urge to thick wave my hair with a styling wand but I refrained.

I checked myself over, contemplating other options, then I heard Jake walk in.

Too late. This will have to be good enough.

I stepped out as I heard him say, "Damn, woman, it smells amaz-".

He simply stopped talking as he noticed me. I watched him look me over with an expression I'd never noticed before. When his eyes met mine there was a change in them which made my cheeks instantly turn red.

I could tell, without him saying a word, that he definitely approved of my outfit, and there was no doubt in my mind that he found me attractive in that moment. It was overwhelming and it made me feel like I had some kind of control over him, over us, which was maybe foolish, but it increased my confidence regardless.

"You...are a vision", he said slowly.

I felt myself smiling at him. "Thank you. And you look clean", I teased back.

He threw his head back and roared with laughter.

...........................................................................

Jake had spent the morning and early afternoon keeping his physical distance from Riley but he couldn't keep her from occupying every single thought he had. Fighting against his feelings had been exhausting and it had hurt her as much as it had hurt him. He didn't yet know how to proceed but he knew giving her the cold shoulder wasn't it.

As he was chopping wood he decided to relax for today and let himself enjoy her, to have fun with her like he had been before he decided to distance himself. 

He found that the line of one of his favorite songs kept running through his head- the one he had sung to her, and wondered if maybe it applied to their situation.

Nobody wins afraid of losin'.

He showered, put on his nicest pair of jeans and cowboy boots, found a plain navy blue t-shirt, and his nicest dress shirt- like a blue plaid flannel but of stiffer material. He even trimmed his beard and mustache, brushed his teeth, put on deodorant and the tiniest bit of cologne, then refrained from wearing his cowboy hat, and strode down the brush hill to her.

When he opened the door to her cabin, he was hit with nostalgia as the smells of a home-cooked holiday meal filled his brain. He hadn't had that since Liv.

As he was calling out to her how amazing that smelled, suddenly she appeared- like a delicate angel out of thin air. He was stunned by the curves under that sweater, the way it clung perfectly and looked impossibly soft. The color complimented her skin and her hair. The v-neck drew his eyes down and the necklace drew his eyes up. He was mesmerized. He knew he was gaping at her and, regardless, he couldn't stop. That sweater was like the most perfect wrapping paper on the best present of his life, one that said, 'Do not open 'till', but didn't have an end date in sight.

He choked out some nonsense compliment that couldn't accurately describe his feelings and was surprised by a snarky comment in return.

Then she snatched his hand and drug him to the kitchen where she enlisted him to help her make brandy slush.

After much taste testing, they got it perfect, and set it outside on the porch, where it was colder than the refrigerator was.

He couldn't take his eyes off her, or that damn sweater. He wanted to tell her to change because it was killing him but he liked the suffering too much.

She turned on the radio to one of the two country stations which would come in, and he found himself reaching for her without any thought at all. He wanted her in his arms and he acted on it instinctively.

He danced with her for two songs, admiring how her waist felt under his hands, getting lost in her large light green eyes, watching her auburn curls slide across her shoulders and hide her pink cheeks, the way she consistently had a perfect soft smile on her pink lips.

After the second song, she stopped with both hands against his chest.

"I need to check the turkey", she said.

"Lemme get it out for ya", he replied protectively. He really didn't know how she could safely move it without getting burned, as little and short as she was.

"Thanks", she replied agreeably.

He lifted it out carefully with potholders and set it on the potholders on the table where she indicated. She checked the temperature, cut off a slice, blew on it delicately, tried a tiny bite, and pronounced it done.

"Yes!", he said enthusiastically, snatching the rest of the slice from her hand.

She laughed delightedly and started pulling out other dishes of mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes with melted marshmallow on top, green beans, and corn. On the table already were biscuits and cranberry jelly and butter.

He grabbed glasses of water for them both and then asked her if she wanted him to start slicing the turkey.

"That would be really helpful", she said with a smile.

He started methodically slicing up the bird as she filled their plates with everything else.

He added turkey to each of their plates and she drizzled the gravy on top. As she went to sit he stopped her with one hand on her shoulder.

"Hold up", he said.

He quickly ran outside to the blender of brandy slush and the glasses they had left with it. He filled them both and came back in, kicking the door shut behind him. He handed one to her. She was looking up at him expectantly, smiling.

"I just wanna say...Riley, I'm so thankful for ya. I don't...I don't even know where to begin. Ya changed my life the day ya moved in here. I thought it was gonna be terrible but it was the opposite. You give me a purpose, ya make me laugh, you believe in me...ya make me believe I can do better. I wanna do better...because of you. Thank you".

He watched her eyes tear up though she was still smiling.

"Oh...wow", she whispered in a tiny voice. "I'm...thank you. I am so grateful for you, too. Every time I turn around you're saving me from something else. You are my personal hero. I've never felt so safe and...respected...in my whole life".

"Cheers", he said.

"Cheers", she replied.

They clinked their glasses together, then he pulled her chair out for her.

After a very filling supper, together they cleaned up the kitchen, putting food away and washing dishes. Then he grabbed the brandy slush from outside, she turned off the lights, and they mutually sat in the living room to listen to the radio in the firelight without even discussing it.

She was so easy to be with. It was so natural, it was like they had been married for years. Several times during the evening he had been thinking of her like that, too- like a partner, not like little Riley Wallis from next door who needed a protector.

He found himself absentmindedly running his fingers through her hair as he thought that. Suddenly she turned her green eyes to him. "Do you know how amazing that feels?"

He felt his stomach give a little flip. "It does? Good thing. I'm not even aware I do it. It's like suddenly I catch myself".

"Let's dance some more", she suddenly said, smiling. "Otherwise I'm going to get tired".

"Yes, ma'am", he said obligingly, standing.

He led, and they danced, and danced, and danced. She was intoxicating. They way she smelled, the feel of her body, how beautiful she was in the firelight. He was caught up in the dancing, the laughter, the contented feeling of being exactly where he wanted to be. At the end of a song, he slid his arms around her to pull her close and she was smiling up into his face with a strand of hair draped across hers where it had fallen.

He reached up and brushed that hair from her face, staring into green eyes which were reflecting what he felt, and he started to lean in to kiss her.

Riley didn't move. She simply stared trustingly up at him.

Trust. She trusts me to do what's right.

This isn't right.

He stopped, took a deep, ragged breath, and let her go. He took a step back and said, "I gotta go".

"What?", she half laughed, like she thought he was kidding.

When he didn't smile or laugh back, the smile dropped from her face.

"Why?", she asked quietly.

"Because if I don't, I'm gonna do somethin' stupid...like kiss ya", he said honestly, rubbing his hand across his mustache.

He watched the hurt flash across her face, as if he had slapped her. Then she ducked her head, nodded, and muttered, almost to herself, "Stupid". 

Watching her with her head hung, Jake's heart stabbed him with anguish and he fled. He ran away before he hurt her more, before he crossed the line he had vowed not to cross- for her own good.

At home, he paced, he fumed, he tried to calm his pounding heart.

Suddenly, horrified, he realized something.

Stupid.

I said 'before I do something stupid'.

She thinks I think she's stupid.

She thinks she's stupid.

I need to fix this. I don't know how but I need to fix this.

...........................................................................

* How can Jake keep his distance without hurting her? Do you think they should give it a chance? Click vote and keep reading! *