12:37

SHIT!

I touched my head, feeling slightly warm, and reached for my glasses. It took me a while to recognize the room. It was already filled with light and so noisy. I mean, I live just a couple of blocks away but hell, my neighborhood is so quiet. I finally turned around and looked at her. She was still sleeping. I wonder how she does it. Day after day. Being on stage is different from making a movie, or television. It's harder. You've got to be there, be the actor and the audience. From what she said to me that play is extra hard, and she doesn't have time to process things. Not even a minute to just prepare for the next scene. God, I love her.

What would happen if I touched her again, kissed her? One thing I know is never, NEVER, wake Jessica up when there's no reason to. I learned that the hard way, oh, you had to be there. If you do, her day, and yours, both, are ruined. But I want to.

The images from last night are playing on repeat in my head. She was so vulnerable, so soft and she was mine. She is mine. She doesn't smile a lot and she's not approachable. I know that but with me, she's a whole other person. I love it when she smiles. When she looks me in the eyes, when she tells me how much she loves me.

What if I do touch her? No. Come on, she's gonna wake up in a while.

I stood up and made my way into the kitchen where I opened one of the windows and looked around. I've got to make her something to eat but she's right. I hate cooking. I stopped cooking years ago, I hardly cook for myself. What if I order something? There's a restaurant down on Jessica's building, maybe they could bring us something up here.

Well, let's start with coffee first. That woman could go days with just coffee and cigarettes. I think she loves coffee more than she loves me but she never admitted that.

I stole one of her cigarettes and once the coffee was ready I poured some for myself and just sat there, sipping coffee, reading the news on my phone until I heard her waking up.

Of course, I hadn't prepared anything. What can I say? She knew it from the minute I suggested it last night.

Silence and then I heard the water running in her bathtub. The urge to run and join her was tremendous but she would be leaving for the theater soon. I took another sip, left the cigarette on the ashtray, poured some coffee for her, and stood up to pick my things.

I've got things to do as well, I should leave before her. Good thing we're not hiding anymore. I mean, we are but not like we used to. They've seen us together, walking around the village, around Soho and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with two friends walking around the city. Yeah, I wanna hold her hand and yeah, I want the whole world to know that we're together but I respect her perspective around our relationship.

I was wearing my pants and while I was putting back my bra I heard her sneaking from behind.

"Good morning," she said and moved closer. I felt her lips on my shoulder and turned around to see her.

"I made you coffee"

"And lunch?"

"Yeah, about that," I started and she immediately burst out laughing "What?"

"Don't worry, I'll grab something on my way to the theater"

"We could order together"

"I'm not hungry yet. How about we have coffee first?"

"I'd love to" I replied and watched her walking away from me to get ready. Truth is that I missed this. Waking up next to her, talking to her. Since the play started, she hardly ever has time for me and I don't want to whine about this or be the bitch so I just leave her alone but I missed her.

Once I wore back my clothes I moved inside, Jessica was already dressed and doing her hair and makeup in the bathroom. I returned in the kitchen and continued my actions, sipping coffee and being on my phone when she appeared in front of me and took a seat across me, grabbing her phone as well.

I gave her time. She's probably responding to messages, she's not much of a phone person so I knew that it wouldn't take much time, and as I thought, she let her phone to the side and sipped some coffee, looking at the cigarette on the ashtray.

"That's yours?" she asked, her eyes pointing to that cigarette I told you about.

"It was but it's yours now," I replied and let my phone as well.

"Thanks," she replied and took the cigarette

"What time are you leaving?"

"I've got time. Why?"

"No reason, I'm just asking"

"You got something in mind?"

"Despite having lunch together, no. Nothing else"

"Thank you for coming last night"

"Well, thank you for having me," I said and she chuckled. I smiled too. "Your birthday is next week. You got any plans?"

"Oh, Jesus, I don't know. I'll be working so no, I got no plans"

"Can I come see you here, after work?"

With that, as if I hit a soft spot inside of her, she leaned in front and reached for my hand, "Susan, of course! You don't have to ask. My house is yours too, I want you with me always"

"Or we can go out for dinner"

"Yeah, we could but if we stay here we could do other things"

I smiled and waited a minute, looking at her and how her whole face turned red, "Like what?"

"You know, couple stuff"

"Couple stuff? I don't get you, like what?" I asked, acting like a fool.

"Watch t.v., snuggle in bed, talk to each other"

"Oh, old couple stuff. Okay, I get it" I said and earned a playful slap on my hand, "You know what I mean," she said and smirked.

"I know, you want to sleep with me cause simply you just can't get enough of me. Which is understandable," I said and stood up

"You got me," she replied and looked at me, wondering, "You're leaving?"

"Well, since you're not having lunch with me, I've got things to do," I said and stood in front of her, I leaned down and kissed her before she could reply. Her lips felt so warm on mine and I could taste the coffee along with the cigarette, which I know, doesn't sound so "yummy" but let me tell you, I would give everything to have that taste in my mouth 24/7.

I opened my eyes and looked at her, she was smiling with her eyes closed, "When am I seeing you again?"

I saw her as she slowly opened her eyes and looked at me, "I don't know, tomorrow?"

I thought 'Why not tonight?' but maybe she wanted to rest properly so I didn't say a thing. "I'll text you, okay?"

She nodded. Leaving her that morning was the hardest thing I've done. I just couldn't make a step, I wanted to stay with her, forever if possible but I know I couldn't.

Susan:

Today 9:15 PM

How did it go tonight?

Delivered.

I threw the phone to the side. I'm exhausted! I lift my feet on the coffee table and sigh. God, I hardly can open my eyes.

I finally opened them and looked around, I should really go to bed.

Susan:

Today 9:56 PM

Call me tomorrow. I love you.

Delivered.

I was now in bed. I won't lie, the fact that she hadn't replied was kinda getting on my nerves. I know she leaves the theater around 9:15 and she's at home around 10:15 so she should've replied by now but I'm so tired to think about this.

I opened my eyes the next morning. It was still early, around seven, and no reply from Jessica. Of course, she's sleeping now so I'm not bothering her.

I had my coffee, read the news, and got ready for a stroll around the neighborhood. It is still pretty early, thank God, it means fewer people around the block so I'm sure gonna enjoy my walk.

Susan:

Today: 1:15 PM

Jess, where are you?

Delivered

Today: 2:43 PM

Just tell me if you're okay.

Delivered

Jessica:

Today: 2:57 PM

I'm okay. Good morning

Susan: Where have you been?

Jessica: What happened?

Susan: Nothing happened, I was worried about you.

Jessica: Why? Everything's fine

Susan: Am I seeing you tonight?

Jessica: Only if you want to

Susan: Your place or mine?

Jessica: Mine. I'll see you there

Susan: Alright

Jessica: I love you too

I smiled at that. I love her too. More than she can imagine.