Vows of Survival
A/N: More dialogue from Revenge of the Sith. I don't own so please don't sue.
After the Senators leave, Padmé wastes no time in discussing her current situation.
"I understand that they want to take a more diplomatic approach in the Senate and I agree with that but I don't think the Chancellor's going to listen. We need the Jedi to support us. They're just as ingrained in this as we are," Padmé says as she paces around the apartment.
"He's taken the emergency powers too far," Sabé agrees, "Have you discussed this with the Queen?"
"Not recently, at least not over commlink or in person. We've been exchanging messages occasionally over the Holonet but other than that, we haven't discussed much," Padmé replies.
"And?" Sabé asks.
"She agrees with my reasoning and wants me to continue on the path that I have chosen to follow," Padmé answers as she looks around at the floor, "I haven't been back to Naboo since I found out I was pregnant."
"Is it really necessary to go back?" Sabé asks her gently.
"There's so much happening in the Senate that I'm trying to stay here on Coruscant as much as possible," Padmé replies, "And besides, if I go back, she'll notice I'm pregnant and then everything will come out in the open. "
"You're going to have to step down regardless because you're going to have a child," Sabé says, "If you think at all that you need to go back to Naboo, you should go. We can dress you so your baby bump is hidden."
"It's not necessary. Being here is more important," Padmé replies softly, "The Chancellor and his motives in regards to the war are too confusing. I don't understand why he thinks a brutal and swift end to the war is the correct answer. There's no diplomacy in that. There's no diplomacy in how any decisions are being made in the Senate right now. No one will listen to anything else about their ideas and all everyone wants to do right now is share their own. I want to hear everyone's ideas and obtain a clear picture of all sides of the story but I have to be careful. I don't want to accuse the Chancellor of something he could be doing wrong but I also don't trust him to do the right thing. No one will listen to anyone else's ideas besides those of us that long for diplomacy and democracy. I just don't know what to do."
"I'm not sure what to tell you, Milady. I'm sorry," Sabé answers.
"I just....I don't understand. I don't understand why no one will listen to anyone else," Padmé exclaims, clearly exasperated at her situation.
"I don't understand that either," a new voice says from a different part of the apartment.
"Anakin," Padmé gasps, turning around, "I wasn't expecting you back this soon." Anakin comes closer and gently fingers the hood around her head. His eyes lock with hers as his fingers loosely play with the hood.
"I like this," he says, "It looks very pretty on you."
"Why thank you," Padmé says, "Moteé picked it out with her exquisite fashion sense." Anakin leans down and pecks her lips.
"I'd say she did a good job," he replies. Padmé notices Dormé, in the doorway to her room, gesturing to the chrono that she has on one of the walls in the room.
"How was your morning?" she asks, "I didn't expect you to be home this soon."
"I needed some time," Anakin replies gently, "The Council meeting did not go exactly as I wanted it to and I figured seeing you would get me away from the Order and everything going on for the moment. Seeing you always makes me happy." Padmé returns a soft smile.
"Well, I'm glad to help," she says, not knowing what else to say. It's obvious to her that he's still being plagued by something. "I need to get ready so that I can attend a meeting in the Senate but I'll be back out in a moment," she answers, "I'll send my ladies to the Senate so we can have some time alone."
"Why don't you just send Sabé to the Senate in your place?" Anakin asks in a low voice. He slowly removes the hood from her head and runs his human hand through her curls. "We could have most of a day to ourselves and some true....alone time," he says in a very low voice and Padmé feels her breath hitch at the suggestion.
"Ani....we can't," she says after a moment. He stops running his hand through her hair and an almost dark look crosses his face. Padmé startles at the expression that vanishes after a few seconds, leading her to question whether it was even there in the first place. "There's too many important decisions being made in the Senate right now and it's best if I'm there in person to see everything as it happens," she elaborates. Anakin nods and Padmé internally breathes a sigh of relief. Maybe she didn't really see that dark look cross his face just a few moments ago. Dormé clears her throat from the doorway and Padmé nods her head in confirmation.
"Oh! Master Anakin!" C3P0 cries out from the same doorway that Dormé is standing in, "How good it is to see you fully functioning."
"Hello, 3P0," Anakin answers in a dry tone. His gaze flicks from the droid to Padmé as she follows Dormé further back into the apartment. The droid chatters away with Anakin, probably asking about a droid friend that is usually with Anakin that he talks to.
"Is he alright?" Dormé asks very carefully, "He seemed a bit..."
"On edge?" Padmé finishes, "Yes, he did. I'm going to talk to him about it before I leave for the Senate."
"Are you sure that that's a good idea?" Dormé asks, "I wasn't sure that I liked one of the expressions that was on his face."
"I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that," Padmé says gently, "I'm not sure what to do about that. He's...very bothered by something that has to do with me." Ellé enters the room with a dress from Padmé's closet.
"Your dress, Milady," she says as she lays it down on the bed, "Am I accompanying you to the Senate?"
"I would greatly appreciate it if you would," Padmé answers her. Ellé flashes her a gentle smile.
"Then I'll find something more suitable for the Senate to dress in," she answers. She walks away while Moteé comes in to help her put on her dress.
"I heard Anakin say he likes the robe I picked out for you," she says with a slight smirk as Padmé steps into the fresher to change.
"Yes and I told him you picked it out," Padmé replies before closing the door. Moteé waits until Padmé, with a long sleeved navy blue dress on, reemerges from the fresher to reply.
"You'll have to tell me when Anakin's coming and I'll make sure that the robe is available to you," she answers as the smirk on her face grows, "If things weren't so dire in the Senate and the galaxy at large, Anakin may have tried a bit harder to convince you to stay here with him." Padmé rolls her eyes at her handmaiden playfully, getting a laugh out of her.
"I'm glad to see you laughing. We need more of that in times like these," Padmé answers with a light chuckle of her own. Dormé starts to brush out Padmé's hair and she places two small crossed pins in her hair.
"Ellé and I will see you in the Senate, Milady," Moteé calls out as she prepares to leave for her own quarters to get ready. Padmé gently sits down as Dormé puts the finishing touches on her hair.
"I hope your session in the Senate goes well. Summon me when you need me next. I'll keep my comm by me," Dormé instructs.
"Thank you, Dormé. Have a restful afternoon. You can tell Sabé that she's dismissed for the time being as well," Padmé instructs as she smooths out her skirt. Dormé nods and leaves for her own quarters. Padmé takes her navy blue wrap and walks back towards her bedroom. Anakin sits on one of the couches in the living room with an extremely troubled look on his face, a datapad lays next to him on the couch. She walks behind the couch, folding the wrap on her arm as she walks. The troubled look on his face breaks her heart. The next question confuses her.
"Obi-Wan's been here, hasn't he?" Anakin asks in a slightly dark tone. Padmé reaches down and rubs his shoulder as she answers,
"He came by this morning." She tries to say it gently as she walks to the bedroom so that he won't ask any questions about what they had discussed. A sad look crosses her face at the thought that she feels as though she can trust Obi-Wan more than her husband.
"What did he want?" Anakin asks with a slight bit of accusation in the question, not enough to cause Padmé to believe that he's mad at her but enough to show that he's concerned. He gets up from the couch and starts to follow her as he asks this. Padmé looks back at him with a matter-of-fact look on her face as they walk.
"He's worried about you," she replies and she knows deep down that she is too. Something has seemed different about him since he started having nightmares. These nightmares and the fact that the Jedi aren't doing much to help him are only fueling his worries and his need to become closer to the Chancellor. Worry etches itself across her own face as she turns away and walks into the bedroom. She's really hoping she's not going to make him angry by bringing this up. She's his wife. She just wants to help him.
"He says you've been under a lot of stress," she continues as she enters the bedroom. Padmé bends down and places the wrap on a small bench piece at the foot of her bed. An eerie silence fills the room as her back is turned to Anakin. After a moment, he responds,
"I feel lost."
That strikes something deep inside of Padmé. Anakin's always so sure of his decisions and of himself. It's not like him to feel like everything doesn't make sense. Something really feels wrong about this situation. She stands up from bending over and faces him with a confused and worried look on his face.
"Lost? What do you mean?" she asks. This strikes some kind of fear in her. He never feels lost. He likes to go with his gut and sticks to what he believes. He's not one to necessarily back down if he's uncertain.
"Obi-Wan and the Council don't trust me," he replies as he walks towards the window in their bedroom overlooking the city. That doesn't make sense to Padmé. Why would they allow him to be on the Jedi Council if they didn't trust him? That wouldn't make any sense. Despite the fact that they didn't promote him to the rank of master, that doesn't mean that he isn't worthy of being on the Council. He has so much skill and so much confidence in his skills. With a little discipline, he could be a great Jedi Master someday.
"They trust you with their lives," she responds, looking at him as he gazes out the window without much of a care in the world.
"Something's happening," he answers in the same sort of dark tone as before, "I'm not the Jedi I should be."
Padmé looks at him, confused as to why he is saying this. He has plenty of power and he can protect her and the galaxy from all kinds of evil without gaining more power. Why does he want more power? He doesn't need to be the most powerful Jedi to be one of the greatest Jedi. At least in her opinion. He already does great things for the galaxy with what he has. He doesn't need more to do that.
"I want more and I know I shouldn't," Anakin continues, worry and frustration filling his voice. He looks her in the eyes as he says this before looking away in sadness.
Padmé walks over to him and places a hand on his shoulder, following his gaze.
"You expect too much of yourself," she says reassuringly. He really shouldn't put any extra pressure on himself even though his nightmares came true the last time he was having them. She gets the feeling that his pursuit of power may be why they became real. But she is no student of the Force and she doesn't know for sure whether or not that is true. Padmé reaches over with her hand and gently runs it across his chest. She catches his attention enough that he slowly reaches his hand back and weaves it around her waist. He holds her and moves his hands from her waist up to her arms.
"I found a way to save you," he informs her in a soft voice.
"Save me?" she asks in a quiet tone. If this is about the nightmares, she hopes that there is nothing that he has to save her from. She and Anakin should be two very happy parents within the next couple of months.
"From my nightmares," he replies, confirming Padmé's suspicions. She feels her worry sinking in. He shouldn't be this worried about her. She believes that everything will turn out for the better if they just trust each other.
"Is that what's bothering you?" she asks softly, trying to hide the fact that she was suspicious of that in the first place. She doesn't miss the intensity that his gaze takes on as he looks into her eyes. It scares her just a bit.
"I won't lose you, Padmé," he promises and Padmé feels a small piece of her heart breaking. He's more concerned with what could happen and what to do about it than focusing on the here and now and seeing what winds up playing out.
"I'm not going to die in childbirth, Ani. I promise you," she vows in return as she moves her hands up to his chest. His gaze grows more intense as one of his hands now rests on her hair and her cheek.
"No, I promise you," Anakin says severely. Padmé searches his intense gaze, looking for the man she fell in love with but only seeing someone else. The man she now locks eyes with is someone who is afraid and uncertain of the future. He's afraid of what could happen so he's going to try to do everything in his power to stop it when maybe that isn't the right thing to do. She can take care of herself and he's strong enough to protect her as he is.
"I...."Padmé stutters, at a slight loss for words, "I need to go. The Senate will be in session soon." She pulls away and starts to walk towards the door.
"Are you afraid of me trying to protect you?" Anakin asks her as he leans in the doorway, "Are you the same as the Council? Trying to control me because you think I'm too powerful?"
"Ani, no," she starts to say, "That's not what I meant. I love you for who you are. You don't need to be anyone else to try and save me. You're a strong and powerful Jedi just the way you are. Don't let something that's just a possibility become what you fear. I don't see the dreams and I know I probably don't understand it like you do. But please, Anakin. Don't let this take over your life. We can figure this out."
"But I want to know that you'll be safe," Anakin protests, "I can't lose you!"
"And you won't," Padmé says, "I'm not going to die on you on purpose. I promise."
"I'm not going to let you die," Anakin says, "If I have any say in it, you will survive."
"And I have no intention of dying, " Padmé says sadly, "I just wish you would trust me when I say that." She feels hurt at the thought that her husband thinks that if he doesn't do anything about it, then she is going to die. If there are certain things that are happening in the dreams, she can try to avoid them if it makes him feel better but he has to trust her. She's trying to be careful for the sake of their growing family and she's been trying to be careful ever since she married him. Her commlink beeps and she accepts the message from Captain Typho, announcing his presence. She moves to leave when Anakin walks over and gently takes her hand.
"I'm sorry," he says, "These nightmares just seem so real every time I have them and you never survive. I want to know you're safe. I want to know that I can keep you alive and there are powers that can help me do that."
"Who's going to teach you these powers?" she asks nonchalantly. Anakin doesn't answer and she pulls her hand out of his. "If you're not going to tell me, I need to be going. I'm going to be late for the Senate. Captain Typho is waiting for me."
"I'm not telling you because I don't think it's safe for you to know with your position and everything going on," Anakin answers softly, "It's for your own good."
"I appreciate that," Padmé says, "But I also want you to know that since I am your wife, you should hold nothing back from me. I love you, Anakin and I want to support you but I can't do that if you're not willing to be open with me." With that, she exits the apartment, leaving her moody and confused husband watching her leave. She walks down to see Captain Typho waiting for her.
"Good day, Milady," he says, nodding to her politely.
"Good day, Captain," Padmé replies as she climbs into her speeder.
"Are you alright, Milady? You seem a bit distressed," Captain Typho asks and Padmé sighs.
"I'll be alright, Captain. I appreciate your concern," she says softly, "I just had a somewhat discouraging discussion with someone close to me."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Captain Typho replies, "Please inform me if there is anything I can do to help."
"Thank you," Padmé replies. The rest of the speeder ride, Padmé mulls over her recent conversation with Anakin and her conversation that morning with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is right about something being off with Anakin. He seemed so moody about the nightmares, about the Council, really about everything. Perhaps there is something that she can do to help him.
Once her speeder arrives at the Senate building, Padmé hurries to the Chancellor's office to see if she can seek an audience with him about the petition and what the Delegation of 2000 wishes to happen.
She approaches a guard and asks, "Is Chancellor Palpatine here?"
"He is and he is always happy to listen to what the Senator from his homeworld has to say even if her views differ from his own," The Chancellor's voice rings out as he approaches her.
"Chancellor Palpatine," Padmé addresses him, bowing her head deeply in respect, "I have something that I would like to bring to your attention if it is possible and if you have the time."
"My lady, I have to prepare for today's meeting of the Senate," he answers, "Is it something that must be presented to me now?"
"The sooner I present this to you, the better," Padmé replies, "I was hoping to catch you before today's meeting so we could discuss what we discuss hear with the other Senators."
"What if we discuss it this evening? I'm sure you're not the only Senator who wishes to bring whatever it is you wish to my attention. Especially if it's another one of your pleas for diplomacy to be how this war ends," Chancellor Palpatine insinuates. Padmé feels a slight bit of fury rise up at the careless mention of her and the rest of the Delegation of 2000's ideals. Using her training as a Senator, she manages to lock down her emotions.
"Yes, I'm aware that I'm not the only one who is an advocate of pursuing peace through diplomacy," Padmé replies in a serious tone, "I thought because of your Naboo heritage, you might agree with ending a war through peaceful and democratic means."
"My Naboo heritage does nothing against the interests of the majority, Senator," Palpatine answers, "Believe me, I want this war to end as much as you do and I want there to be peace in the galaxy. At this moment, the emergency powers are the only way I am able to do that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to prepare for, and so do you."
Padmé exits the Senator's office and marches through the rest of the Senate building to the Naboo pod. She is oblivious to the other Senators around her, too upset by the meeting that she just had to care about what happens next or who she comes across. How could Palpatine be such an advocate for the people when he was raised on a place that fights for democracy and peace above all else? The people just want the fighting which only seems to make the war drag on.
Someone suddenly-but-gently catches her arm in the hall.
"Is there a reason you're ignoring me, Senator?" the voice of Bail Organa breaks into Padmé's whirling emotions and thoughts.
"I'm sorry, Senator Organa. I was distracted," she replies, "I was just discussing something with the Chancellor and I was distracted by that."
"Oh, I understand, Senator. There's no need to apologize," he continues as they walk towards the Naboo Senate pod entrance for the Senate Chamber.
"He didn't have time to discuss the petition with me but I was going to rally whoever wished to come speak to him with me this afternoon," Padmé answers as she looks back at him, "I and whoever wishes to go with me, will be meeting with him this evening." Bail nods his head in thought.
"Why this evening? It would have been better to discuss it before the meeting of the Senate today," Bail reasons.
"He says he didn't have time. It also gives me more time to rally other Senators to join us. He seemed like he wasn't very supportive of our ideals and I hope that having other Senators besides myself there will help our cause," Padmé states. Bail nods his head in agreement.
"I'm afraid I have another obligation this evening," he answers as they approach the doorway.
"You will be sorely missed. I was going to send out a message to the rest of the Delegation to invite them to this meeting," Padmé suggests.
"I think that's one of the best things you can do," Bail replies, "I hope many Senators join you. If anything, I'm sure some of the Senators from our meetings will attend. They have been very active in fighting for the restoration of democracy and diplomacy to the Republic thus far. I don't see why they wouldn't join you now." Padmé nods her head in agreement.
"I feel the same," she concedes, "So, what is our plan for this meeting of the Senate?"
"I was planning on bringing some of the issues that we have been discussing to light to try to persuade the entire body to see our point of view as well as their own," Bail says, "This is what I meant by seeing what we could accomplish in the Senate first."
"If they don't listen and the Chancellor brushes aside the petition this evening, then we seek outside help?" Padmé asks. Bail nods his head in reply, understanding her double meaning.
"Yes, then we will consult some outside help," he answers. The meeting is called to order and Padmé's thoughts whirl as she joins the rest of her company in the Naboo Senate Pod and the Chancellor begins to open the meeting for the day.
As the meeting begins, she feels that whatever happens next is going to have a great impact on the war, and by extension, the future of the entire Republic.
A/N: This is a chapter where I feel like not much happens beyond Padmé and Anakin talking. Speaking of them, did you like my added scene for the two of them? Or I guess it's really just added dialogue.
I love Padmé's interactions with her handmaidens in this chapter as well.
This chapter is really big for Padmé beginning to notice that something is "off" with Anakin. She's starting to see it a bit more and it's starting to worry her because she really doesn't know what to do about it. Really, there isn't much she can do to help him.
Her meeting with the Chancellor was interesting to write. It was not the easiest piece especially when it doesn't really go anywhere and all it does is show a bit more of the dark side of the Chancellor.
Yes, that's a pun. You can laugh whenever.
Padmé is still trying to initiate the movement towards peaceful negotiations to ending the war. This is something she can really get on board with and she feels more certain about the things that the Chancellor is doing that go against what the Republic once stood for.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this one!! This is kinda the last happyish chapter (the last chapter was probably the last "happy" chapter for quite awhile but this one had some happy moments in it.) Thank you for reading, commenting, voting, or doing whatever it is you do!! I appreciate it!!
-Aisling
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