This chapter includes common dialogue formatting errors and the devil that almost everyone gets wrong: dialogue tags.

Disclaimer: this is gonna be a long chapter, but so much goes into dialogue and their tags that I'm not going to be able to cover everything without wanting to die a little by the end of it. So even though not every single thing about dialogue and their tags will be in here, I hope you enjoy the chapter regardless. Please don't comment adding on to what's already been said or saying I missed something. I'm aware of that, so please don't.

Read the disclaimer in the beginning of this book before you comment; any comments being argumentative or referring to things I already covered in the disclaimer will be deleted.

Content warning: opinions

This is by far the most common error I have ever seen.

Dialogue tags.

Back when I was doing reviews on Quotev, almost every single review mentioned dialogue tags. Now, on Wattpad, it's the same way.

It has become such a common error that whenever I see an author that does them correctly, I literally write in my notes:

AUTHOR DOES DIALOGUE TAGS CORRECTLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 💃💃💃💃💃❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

I'm not kidding. That's from one of the reviews I did for the Eclipse Awards.

During my time judging, I believe I have found three stories that do dialogue tags correctly. Three.

It's such a common error that if you do them wrong, I hope you don't feel bad. Trust me, almost every single person is doing dialogue tags wrong. You might be doing them wrong without realizing it.

So, let's cover some of the incorrect ways I've seen dialogue tags written.

Incorrect:

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." he said.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"What are you doing?!" He shouted.

"Get out!" He yelled.

"I can't believe this." jungkook muttered.

Correct:

"Hi," he said.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"What are you doing?!" he shouted.

"Get out!" he yelled.

"I can't believe this," Jungkook muttered.

Did you notice a pattern?

He is not a proper noun, but Jungkook is (it's a name). Notice which ones are capitalized in the "correct" section. Only Jungkook, right?

Why?

Dialogue tags are not a new sentence; they are a continuation of the dialogue. Even if the dialogue ends with ? or !, the tag will still be lowercase.

I cannot tell you how many times I've seen authors so close to doing tags right, but they get the special punctuation wrong. By that I mean, they'll capitalize the tag when it's after a ? or !.

When you're using dialogue tags, you cannot end the dialogue with a period. Unless, of course, the tag is before the dialogue.

Example:

She said, "I'm here."

Most authors put the dialogue tags after the dialogue. I tend to lean more toward tags after the dialogue since tags don't do anything except tell you who is speaking, so it's less distracting when it's in the back, in my opinion. But there's nothing wrong with doing them in the front either.

So, let's summarize:

- Dialogue tags are before or after the dialogue, but most commonly, after

- If you are using a tag, the dialogue cannot end in a period unless the tag comes first (She said, "Hey.")

- Dialogue tags must be lowercase unless they are a proper noun or start the sentence

- Even if the end punctuation is not a comma, the tag must be lowercase unless it is a proper noun or it starts the sentence

Some examples:

She said, "I made it back from Orlando."

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"It's good to see you," John said.

"I miss you," she said.

Fancy Tags:

Dialogue tags are not supposed to be fancy. Their purpose is to tell you who is speaking. One of the publishers I am working with hates dialogue tags and wants as few of them as possible. Honestly, I agree.

A few examples of the ones I consider fancier:

- Inquired

- Whimpered

- Denied

- Confessed/Admitted

- Argued

- Answered

Essentially, ones that aren't said or asked.

My father is a writer, and I'll never forget the advice he gave me. He called it the 50-30 "rule."

He told me that at most, 50% of your dialogue should have tags, and at least 30% of that 50% should be said or asked. Now, this is just a guideline and not a rule, that's why I put rule in quotations, but in my opinion, that's good advice.

I'm normally not someone who is brutal about things, so I apologize if any of this comes off as rude. What I'm about to say next is not meant to be mean or an insult:

If you use too many dialogue tags, especially the fancier ones, the odds are, you aren't doing your job right.

As a writer, your job is to show the audience your story, not tell them. In my past writing class, we called this the 2 + 2 = 4 equation of writing.

2 + 2 is an easy, simple equation. Everyone knows the answer is 4. Writing is like that. Even if the answer is simple, you shouldn't just give the audience 4. Give them 2 + 2: make them work to find 4 instead of just handing it to them.

Let's say you have a character who feels insecure.

2 + 2 would be showing the audience the character feels insecure.

4 would be saying something like "He feels insecure."

The 2 + 2 is showing while the 4 is telling. If you choose to give the audience 4, you are telling. If you give the audience 2 + 2, you are showing.

Let's say 2 + 2 is a crack in a character's voice. So, 2 + 2 is "Her voice trembled as she spoke." 4 would be "She felt sad."

The tremble in her voice isn't very hard to understand. As the audience, we know whoever this "she" is is emotional.

If we look at the 4, it's blatantly telling the reader the woman feels sad. That's not very engaging, is it? There's nothing to piece together. Even though the tremble in her voice is not like solving the world's hardest puzzle, it's still making the audience think.

The 2 + 2 is the audience figuring out from the tremble in her voice that she's emotional. The 4 is blatantly telling the audience the woman is sad.

Guess where dialogue tags falls in this equation?

I'll give you a hint: they're not 2 + 2.

Dialogue tags exist to tell you who is speaking. If you're using fancier tags, it's even worse. Not only are you slowing the pace, but you're also telling your audience instead of showing them.

That's not to say you can't use fancier tags, but you should use them sparingly. Even I use them every once in a while (like whispered, shouted, whimpered, etc.), but I use them maybe 5 times in an entire novel. Maybe 5 times.

I'm a visual learner, so I suck at explaining things. How about we look at some examples?

I want you to look at these two examples and tell me which one is more engaging.

Do not judge this based on what the characters are talking about. Judge it based on how it is written. Everyone has preferred genres and storylines, so naturally, you're going to lean more toward one story over the other. But try to judge this objectively instead of subjectively.

Example 1:

[Context: Jeongmin is talking to an angel]

Jeongmin's mouth pulled up into a grin. He was sure the dimple on his right cheek was showing. "Welcome to Earth. Congratulations," he said as he spread his arms, "you've made it to the last standing bunker in New York."

"You're far from home, hellspawn. Busan, right?"

Jeongmin's smile almost faltered. "You know me."

"Angels oversee human life. In the shadows, but we're always there."

"I'm no human."

"Your mother was."

Jeongmin's lips tightened, his four-fingered hand falling to the handle of one of his two katanas. "I came to check on the people, but it seems you have that covered. They'll like you more than me. Do I get a name?"

Example 2:

"I don't know why you insist on talking to me," Alana hissed.

"Maybe because I'm your bodyguard, princess," Steven barked in response.

"And that means I don't get privacy?"

"Maybe you would if you were more responsible!" he screamed.

"How dare you raise your voice at me. Is this how you treat all your clients?!" Alana pressed.

Almost every line in example 2 had a dialogue tag that was used to carry the emotion. In example 1, only one dialogue tag was used.

Beyond that, I assume you can infer much more about the characters in example 1 than you can in example 2. In example 1, the text relies on actions and speech style to let you know who is speaking.

AKA: it isn't lazy writing.

Example 2 is not as engaging as example 1 for a multitude of objective reasons. For starters, there's nothing outside those dialogue tags. We don't know anything about the character's facial expressions, their body language, their looks, how their voice sounds, etc. We know nothing. Along with that, Alana is used twice. Why? We already know who Alana is, so just use "she" instead. It's repetitive and boring.

In example 2, there isn't a single said or asked used for the dialogue tags. In example 1, there is weight behind the words. Exposition is given through dialogue, and character actions are used to show the emotions instead of blatantly telling you with dialogue tags.

In my opinion, that will always be the superior way to go about storytelling. Not only is it more engaging, but it's also the 2 + 2 = 4 equation of writing. Example 1 is showing, example 2 is telling. The text never tells you how Jeongmin is feeling; instead, it shows you through his actions, his facial expressions, and his words. In example 2, the text tells you their feelings through the dialogue tags instead of through more creative ways.

There are subtle details put into example 1. A very subtle detail is Jeongmin's four-fingered hand. In the story, whenever he uses his four-fingered hand instead of his five-fingered one, it's to represent his insecurity and how he's feeling weak and exposed. The reader doesn't know that yet in the example I provided, but it becomes more apparent throughout the story if they're paying close attention to when the text points out his four-fingered hand versus when it points out his five-fingered one.

Isn't that far more engaging than "she barked?" Instead of being told, you're shown through subtle details you might not pick up on until far later in the story.

That's why I'm against using fancier dialogue tags.

Although they can be effective in some areas, you should try to avoid them.

And hey, listen, everyone writes differently. Maybe your story requires more tags than most, and that's fine. Just keep in mind there are countless ways to write.

That's why my disclaimer says that you should only pick and choose what writing advice works for you. There are endless ways you can write your story. So even though I am against fancy dialogue tags, that doesn't mean no one should use them or they should never be used.

Just be cautious and see what works for the story. Think of the different ways you can show what's going on, then make a decision.

I hope that's helpful.

Dialogue Capitalization:

Dialogue itself is treated as its own sentence, which is probably why many people get tags confused.

No matter where dialogue is introduced in the sentence, the first letter is capitalized because it is treated as its own new sentence.

Example:

She turned around and said, "You need to leave."

Even though the "You need to leave" is at the end of the sentence, "You" is capitalized because it is starting the dialogue.

Got it? Okay, I'm sorry to say it gets more complicated.

Don't worry, I'll break it down. Here is just the general gist:

If you are continuing dialogue in the same sentence, the second piece of dialogue is not capitalized. I know, that sounds confusing, but it's hard to explain. Examples will show you what I mean.

Example:

"Hey," she said, turning her head to him, "how are you?"

NOT:

"Hey," she said, turning her head to him, "How are you?"

The "how" shouldn't be capitalized because it is a continuation of the dialogue, not a new set of dialogue. Since a comma is connecting the two pieces of dialogue, the "how" is lowercase.

If it's new dialogue, it should be capitalized. If it's a continuation, it should be lowercase.

Here are some examples:

"Hey," he said, "you missed practice last night."

He laughed and said, "You know we're just teasing."

"Jayla," he muttered as he placed his hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should get some rest."

For the last example: notice how the second piece of dialogue is capitalized. The reason why is because the sentence before it ends with a period, meaning the dialogue is starting another sentence. It is no longer a continuation.

Some examples:

"I wanted to tell you something," she said. "You won't like it."

"Good morning," he said with a smile, "how'd you sleep?"

Do you see the difference?

Script Format:

Please don't use this.

I am a film student; it was my first major. I was always a film major with my heart set on film. English was a last-second double major for me, believe it or not. I signed up for it in sophomore year because I started loving writing. But ever since high school, being in film has been my dream. I took acting classes in high school and learned about scriptwriting, I volunteered at a local Halloween attraction as a lead actress, I did independent films, etc.

Essentially, I love film. I love scripts. But I'm still telling you not to use script format in novel writing. Let's get into why.

I use "script format" as an umbrella term for formatting dialogue like this:

Raven: Hey, how are you?

Please don't do that. There's a reason why script format is used for movies instead of books: it's not fun to read, it's unengaging, and it's telling over showing.

In scriptwriting, we always have to blatantly tell what's going on because the showing aspect is done through the actors, the environment, the cinematography, the music, etc. We use more matter-of-fact language because we have to. The audience for the movie can't read my script and see the deep, complex, showing over telling lines I do. Scripts aren't meant to be read, they're meant to be performed, which is what separates them from novels.

That's why with scripts, we tell the actors what to do so they can demonstrate it to the audience in a showing over telling way.

Scripts are the opposite of what novel writers want.

And let me make something clear: if you want to write your story like a script to help generate ideas, give you dialogue practice, etc., go for it! There's nothing wrong with using the format if it helps you, but using it in the final product is not a good idea.

Can it work? Sure. In theory, there are ways it could work. Is it risky? Yes.

Example of what I've seen authors do:

Yoongi: Hey, how are you?

Raven: Good, how about you?

Jimin: Woah, you two are talking without me? How rude!

For starters, bolding dialogue can be distracting unless there is a specific reason why you're doing it.

For example, I've seen authors use italics and bold to indicate the characters are speaking a different language. That's great! I actually approve of that since it makes the language clear.

However, if there isn't a reason the author is doing it, the bold is distracting. I can't read bold for an entire story. Bold and italics are meant for emphasis, and it can be hard to read when the dialogue is bolded unless it is for a reason other than aesthetic purposes.

Let's move on from that though. Saying the names and then their lines is robbing the audience of the emotional connection we can get from these characters. We won't get much, if any, detail about how they interact with each other. Dialogue is an important part of storytelling, but what leads up to the dialogue is equally important. What happens while dialogue is happening is equally important. Remember that.

Dialogue Needs Its Own Paragraph:

This is another common mistake. When a new character is speaking, you need to give them their own paragraph.

For example:

"Hey," Raven said.

"Hey," Jimin said.

NOT:

"Hey," Raven said. "Hey," Jimin said.

It's hard to read when dialogue spoken by the same character is in the same paragraph. They need their space. Not only does this mean you have more creative freedom with how you format your dialogue, but you also don't have to use dialogue tags as much. If you bunch the dialogue up in one paragraph, it's way too hard to read, especially without dialogue tags.

This tip is pretty self-explanatory; give new paragraphs to new people speaking. It clears any confusion and it gives you more room to experiment with how you format the dialogue.

I gave many dialogue examples earlier, but I will show one more of dialogue being separated based on who's speaking.

Example:

"I didn't think you'd come back," Jeongmin said without turning to look at her.

He kept his gaze on the giant before him. It spanned at least five-hundred feet tall, but no glass remained on the exterior. He couldn't hear any humans hiding inside. He didn't know if that was good news or not.

"I don't have much choice. You're the only one doing anything," she replied as she halted by his side. "Any reason you're cryptically staring at a skyscraper?"

Jeongmin smirked. "Oh, I'm cryptic now, am I? Am I the mysterious bad boy I see in all those novels?"

"Novels? You read?"

Jeongmin held his hand over his chest. "The half-human side of me is offended."

"You're lucky I'm not killing you for the half-demon side."

Whew, that took a lot out of me. Hopefully future chapters will be shorter. My sanity can only handle so much.

~End~

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