This chapter talks about showing over telling. There is so much that goes into showing over telling, so please do not expect this chapter to cover everything. This is just a guide to the concept of showing over telling.

Please read the disclaimer if you haven't already.

Picture this: you're eating.

Let's pretend your favorite meal is lasagna. It's steaming hot and fresh out of the oven. There's fresh parm cheese soaking in the rich sauce, and the pasta is cooked to perfection. Maybe there's even some green to give the dish a pop of color.

But you're not eating to enjoy it.

You are someone who eats to get it over with. You eat to get calories and nutrition, that's it. You eat the lasagna and don't care about the blend of the flavors and the seasonings the chefs used. You don't take your time to taste anything. You don't take the time to think.

That is a metaphor for what telling is in writing.

There are two types of writers: the ones eating for the calories, and the ones eating to enjoy.

The ones eating for the calories use telling. They often overuse adverbs. Sometimes they tell the story more like a play-by-play rather than a narrative. They blatantly (haha, adverb) tell the audience what characters are thinking or feeling, like "He felt excited" or "He was sad."

The ones eating to enjoy use showing. They don't use many, if any, adverbs. They show the story, oftentimes using the five senses to do so. They let the dialogue and actions show what the characters are thinking or feeling.

Now, that raises the question: why did I use a food metaphor?

If you are reading a story that uses telling, it's like eating food for calories. You're not thinking, you're not immersing yourself in the flavors/words, you're not in the moment.

But if you're reading a story that uses showing, it's like eating food for enjoyment. You're thinking about the words being said, you're immersed in the flavors/words, you're in the moment.

You're with the characters.

Instead of saying "She was sad," think of ways you can show sadness. There are more simplistic ways like frowning, sighing, hanging heads, tears in eyes, etc. There are also more advanced ways where you describe the physical state of a character, like the pattern of their breathing, the way their voice sounds, their posture, the position of their eyes, etc. If it's in the character's POV, you may describe how they feel in their lungs, or their heart, or their head.

Different situations call for different forms of storytelling. I cannot sit here and tell you how to describe your story because, at the end of the day, you're writing it, not me. My advice to you would be to pick and choose which storytelling devices you use depending on the scene you are writing.

For example, my action scenes have changed over the years. My writing style for action scenes is noticeably different from the rest of the story.

My style is the five senses. I use all five senses to describe scenes, but during action scenes, my sentences are shorter and more to the point. The vocab tends to be less advanced.

In my upcoming book, Obsidian, the main character is half-demon and has heightened senses. Since the book is from his POV, the sensory detail goes above and beyond my normal work. In action scenes, the sensory detail is still there, just in much shorter bursts to keep the action scenes engaging and written in a unique way.

Every author has their style. My style is descriptive with the five senses. Others may prefer using shorter sentences all the time. Or maybe you prefer longer sentences and paragraphs. Maybe you prefer to write dialogue-heavy stories.

Every author is different.

When it comes to showing over telling, use what fits your style. Do you want to show in a more simplistic way, a way that involves metaphors, a complex way, or something entirely different? Find what suits your style and go with it!

I've said this many times before, but the 2 + 2 = 4 equation of writing is another way to describe showing versus telling.

The 4 is the telling while the 2 + 2 is the showing. If you give the audience 2 + 2, they have to work to get 4. Meanwhile, if you give the audience 4, you're taking away their ability to figure it out for themselves.

Readers like to engage with what they're reading. They like to ask questions, feel tension, feel the emotions of the characters, and interpret books the way they want to based on open-ended questions writers raise in their works.

Readers want to solve the problem on their own, so give them 2 + 2, not 4. Let them solve the equation. If you solve it for them, you're taking away their engagement.

I hope that makes sense. Please forgive me, I've explained the 2 + 2 = 4 equation so many times my brain is starting to hurt from explaining it.

Now, let's go over some questions I often see about showing over telling.

Is It Okay To Use Telling?

Yes!

There is nothing wrong with using telling every once in a while, or even often (depending on what type of story you're writing). In general, most stories need to do some form of telling. Exposition is the biggest example of that. Blatantly telling the audience about the world, past events, etc. can be more beneficial than finding ways to show it.

While you want to be engaging, you also don't want to waste time and hurt the pacing. A great example of this is the new Ahsoka TV show. No spoilers, don't worry, but there are many shots that just... show the world. It shows ships landing, Sabine using her bike to go down the same road twice, Sabine's tower on multiple occasions (like Ahsoka looking around it), etc.

While the world is pretty and the visuals are great, we don't need to be shown the world so often. It's detrimental to the pacing, which is why the common consensus for Ahsoka is that the pacing is atrocious.

You don't have to show all the time. It also varies depending on what type of story you're writing. In children's stories, for example, telling is crucial since kids aren't going to pick up on the nuances of showing the same way teenagers and adults will.

And when I say children's stories, I mean young kids.

I'm not saying never using telling; I'm saying try to limit it (again, depending on what type of story you're writing), especially when it comes to using adverbs.

Why Do Writers Hate Adverbs?

Every writer has a different stance on adverbs. Adverbs are a part of speech; when used appropriately, I don't think there's anything wrong with them.

The problem is, many writers don't use them appropriately.

And now, let's get into my stance on adverbs.

I hate adverbs more than I hate myself.

That's saying something.

While I do use them every once in a while, it's not uncommon for me to go several chapters in a row without an adverb ever making an appearance.

The reason is because adverbs are often substitutes for stronger verbs.

For example: He ran quickly toward the door.

Instead of relying on quickly to give the sentence more weight, why not use a stronger verb? Sprinted works, doesn't it? It's stronger and more direct, and it makes "quickly" redundant since sprinted already implies that.

Tbh, "ran" already implies you're going fast.

And that leads me to my next point: many of them are redundant anyway.

It's a common mistake, but many writers will write a verb, then use an adverb that means something similar.

I have a personal vendetta against the adverbs "audibly" and "visibly."

While they are fine in some cases (mostly if you're showing contrasts), I don't quite understand why writers can't just stick with the verb.

For example: "What's going on?" she asked audibly.

What is audibly doing for that sentence??????

The verb "asked" and the quotation marks already imply the "she" is talking audibly. You don't need to repeat it.

Another example is this: She visibly frowned.

Again: what is visibly doing for this sentence? The action of frowning already implies that the person is doing it visibly.

Do you see why many adverbs are redundant now?

In isolation, some of these are fine. I'm not saying don't use adverbs; I'm not even saying don't use "visibly" or "audibly." What I am saying is to make sure it adds to the story. But again, while some of these are fine in isolation, if this becomes a habit, it hurts the pacing.

The Ahsoka show example works here. One or two shots of ships landing or people looking around places is fine since it can establish atmosphere and world and other things like that. However, if you're doing it too often (like the show does), it makes the pacing incredibly slow.

Moving on...

I'm guilty of doing this in the past, but another common thing I see is this: "I'm scared," she whispered quietly.

According to Cambridge:

Whisper (n.) - to speak very quietly, using the breath but not the voice, so that only the person close to you can hear you.

AKA: Whisper means to speak quietly. Why do you need to put quietly after that when whisper literally means quietly?

Long story short, that's why I hate adverbs. Many writers use them redundantly instead of using them to enhance the sentence.

I also believe they are big telling over showing tactics because of what I mentioned before: adverbs are a substitute for stronger verbs.

How To Improve Word Choice

While some of it is highlighting words and putting them into a thesaurus, strong writers go above and beyond that.

Having strong word choice is a great way to improve the engagement of your story. If you're using the same words over and over again, the story can feel dull.

Word choice isn't just having strong vocabulary, especially since if the vocab is too much, you risk losing readers. Many readers don't want to read overly formal or flowery vocabulary. The reason is because we don't want to have to have Google open to understand your sentences.

And just so you know, I'm talking about sentences that have multiple formal or flowery words in them all the time, not just one or two words or lots of words every once in a while. So, authors that overuse them, essentially.

Context clues help readers understand what "bigger" (for lack of a better word) words mean. If you're going to use less known words, I would suggest adding context clues to help the reader figure them out without having to open Google.

Moving on, I mentioned that word choice isn't just about having strong vocab. It's also about where you place your words, and what words you don't use.

There are certain filler words in fiction. Words like that, just, and still are all examples of filler words that aren't needed most of the time.

Sometimes, for dramatic effect or to show comparison, words like just or still are needed. For obvious reasons, sometimes 'that' is needed too.

I feel like I've talked about this before in a previous chapter, but there are many cases where 'that' can be taken out of a sentence.

If you have a sentence with one or more uses of the word 'that,' I recommend reading the sentence out loud with and without them. See which one flows better.

The reason we take out 'that' is to tighten pacing and help sentences flow better. The same applies to words like 'still' and 'just.'

Still and just can be used to show comparison/contrast or deliver an emotional beat. However, if you overuse them, the comparisons/contrasts and emotional beats won't hit as hard since the reader is so used to seeing those two words.

The same applies to most other words. If you're overusing verbs, it will make the sentences lose their intensity, especially if you're writing something like an action fic, sci fi, fantasy, etc. where there are going to be very intense scenes.

There are ways to have better word choice without having to pull out a thesaurus. You can also rearrange the sentence so you can avoid using the word you're overusing (run, for example).

There's a lot that goes into word choice, so I'll make an individual chapter about it later, but that's a small overview.

Words that often get overused:

- Run

- Look (most overused I've ever seen)

- Walk (second most overused I've ever seen)

- Breathe and breath (bonus points since many people use the two incorrectly)

- Sigh

- Now

- Take

- Go (or went)

Examples Of Telling

- She was sad

- He felt excited

- After hearing the bad news, Jungkook became depressed.

- It was very difficult to do.

Upcoming Topics: UK and US English, How To Criticize A Story, Subjectivity Versus Objectivity, and Prologues.

I cannot tell you how many people don't know what a prologue is. It is not chapter one. I will explain more in a future chapter.

I will also be giving basic grammar tips in the future.

~End~

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