Monday came slower than usual, unlike any other of my Mondays.

Either it was my depressive bubble of heartbreak that had seemed to paralysed time around me. Or every moment of my grieving felt like every second was utilised in just that. 

After when I was left with that haunting picture of Edward and his newest ingénue, glaring from my phone, mocking at my vulnerable state, I couldn't help but wonder why. Why would he go all the way to this extent to prove the already proven points of me, being unworthy of him -- or anyone in general. 

One way or the other, I had spent all my weekend, distracting myself by reading fiction novels, listening to sad music, and writing gibberish lines of poetry. What started as verses of self-reflection transitioned to a collection of heartbroken locutions, and was the only thing that uplifted my mood, only a slight angle in the meantime.

As I tiredly walked through the gates of the university, my feet feeling heavier with every step, it had now become the very place I had begun dreading. I finally made it to class and was not looking forward to them today, because I hadn't completed any of my assignments, and hearing the bickering of my teachers over how careless I had become from a perfectionist student, was not my favourite podcast for a Monday morning. I had ignored most of my friends -- or acquaintances to be exact -- texts over having me send my assignments and notes to them. I just didn't bother anymore, not having it in me to even acknowledge them.

Sitting beside Marilyn silently, I just took out my phone and distracted myself with anything but her study-related rants.

Several minutes passed by and after Marilyn was done managing the stacks of paperwork in front of her and tossing them in a file inside her bag, she turned to face me with a sad frown. I could tell from the corner of my eye that she had already deciphered my camouflaged heartbroken aura.

"I know it's not my place to ask," She took a deep breath before beginning. "But you know, you could tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened," I said a little too mournfully than I intended to, turning away from her despite her seeing right through me. "I'm alright."

"Edward has been trying to reach out to you," She addressed, still confused about the whole dilemma. "He isn't even telling me what happened."

"I don't know why he's making you a part of this. I'm sorry," I answered blankly, keeping my gaze fixed on my phone screen.

"I don't know what's gotten into you lately," Marilyn pointed, incredulously. "You've been acting... Strange."

I let out an exasperated sigh, not knowing how to express myself in the most concise manner, when I was just all over the place. I didn't know if whatever I would tell her would even make sense to her, and she probably might end up thinking I'm just acting silly and being overdramatic over nothing. From what I had inferred from my incessant dwelling over mine and Edward's separation was that it was all my fault and I wasn't good enough for him to keep liking me. I should've seen it coming, him being with me until he found a better substitute.

It was like we could have been that beautiful picture if mine and his puzzles would fit together well. Yes, there was a part of the puzzle indent that fit my carves perfectly, completing the image, but the other bits probably didn't. And maybe that's why in the end, we were just, incompatible.

"You know Edward's throwing a party for your and his birthday," She continued, slicing between my thoughts.

"Really?" I frowned at the proposition. Why would he do something like that for me? I didn't think I was likeable enough for him anymore to be doing something so out of the way. It just didn't suit his intentions -- let alone his actions.

"Yeah, here." She handed me a small envelope, scribbled with Edward's messy handwriting. "I don't know what it is, but he asked me to give it to you."

"Oh," Is all I could say, taking the neatly wrapped envelope from her in my shaky hands. "Thanks."

Marilyn doesn't respond, just passing me a small smile in return. I ran my fingers across the crinkly paper, which was formal and looked well-thought in appearance. Tucking the thing inside my bag, I didn't know what was I supposed to expect from him at this point. The classes resumed for the next part of the day, and I spent the periods staring at the gibberish on the whiteboard unseeingly, and unable to concentrate. My mind only wandered back to my illicit interactions with Hayden and the things he had revealed about Edward. All I could make of the situation was that Edward just did what any other guy in his right mind would -- pass a message to let me know I wasn't worth it.

Once the classes ticked to an end, I hurriedly stomped out of the class, not bothering or talking to anyone. I just wanted to be alone for once, to recollect my thoughts. I approached the quiet end of the library, which used to be mine and Edward's favourite spot to binge-read the most romantic novels where he would make inappropriate jokes about their steamy romance, and I would laugh at his corny attempts. Quietly I took a seat, trying to steady my pacing breathing.

I sadly smiled to myself, sitting alone like a ghost in the corner and finally, retrieving the light brownish envelope. Unwrapping the paper, there was a page that seemed like a letter inside of it. Dumping the contents on the table, there was a sheet of paper that apparently looked like a birthday invitation.

Unfolding the letter, it unveiled Edward's cursive handwriting. It read,

To my most beautiful girl, Michelle

I almost tore at the familiarity of his warm words that always had a way of getting to me. Biting my lower lip at the gesture, I took a moment to compose myself before continuing.

It was an apology letter about how Edward hadn't known what made me so upset, and how he didn't want to lose me.

I know words probably aren't enough to express what I feel for you, but I think by confessing my feelings, you would hear me out better, so take this as you may. I just can't let anything, and probably anyone, let us separate from each other.
I felt like I lost a part of myself when you told me you wanted to be left alone. I felt like that incomplete torn apart piece, waiting to be finished through the artwork of shredded pieces, particularly you. And dare I say, I have never read a character as beautiful and perfect as you, and I can't stop reading that.
I know I haven't been present for you as I was supposed to and that was all because I was just trying to pick up the leftover pieces of some mess in university. But I can promise, that I would never let anyone harm you. Other than that, I can only tell you, please don't let go of me, because you're everything I can't live without.

After reading and rereading the scribbled words that seemed to trigger all the melancholic feelings inside of me, I placed the paper down, feeling confused and slightly off-taken. I stretched back in my seat, closing my eyes again to not let any tears seep in. I was unable to formulate coherent emotions and a solid reaction to his newfound change of plans.

With blurry eyes, I picked up the card, unfolding it that revealed the birthday date, the venue -- which was of course Edward's place and the invitation formalities. For some scary reason, I felt better about Edward considering me again and blatantly confessing that he probably liked me -- which came off as a shock. I just didn't know how long was this going to last this time.

I twirled the paper inside my fingers before wrapping all of them back up again and packing my bag. And throughout the day, my mood felt uplifted for some reason. I resumed all my classes like usual, ignoring any chance of small talk, and finally decided to make my way home, not before grabbing some medicine, I knew I badly needed.

Rushing out of the bus, I took a moment to compose myself, the weakness seeping into my body and I leaned against a bus stop pole. I slowly but steadily made my way towards the pharmacy, getting anything I could get my hands on for anxiety, as well as stocking up on some cigarettes. I started to stuff my bag with everything, as I rushed out of the place. Not looking straight ahead, and still managing to zip up my stuck zipper, I ended up bumping into someone, with my things spilling all over the footpath.

"Hayden-" Before I could gather and pick my things up, I was frozen in my spot by the familiar set of pale blue eyes. He slowly walked, his boots tapping the littered floor, and perched down to me at my level. I stared at him awestruck, not knowing what to do, as his keen gaze glued me to my place. "I mean Edward." I panted, not knowing how to react.

I quickly shuffled around medicine boxes, placing them in my bag, while he helped me around, scanning every single thing, with his keen gaze never leaving my being. "Hayden?"

I scoffed a small laugh, not knowing what to say to him anymore. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that,"

The next thing we knew, we were seated in his car. I was that hopeless.

We stared out the windshield, the quietness suffocating me with every passing moment. I warily looked towards him to find him sitting in silence, and staring outside the window, his one hand on the steering wheel, his thumb caressing the parameter of it. He was apparently in deep thought, and just the look on his face was enough to dissolve my negative feelings for him.

So I decided to break the silence. "Why did you invite me?" I finally asked, trying hard not to look at him.

His eyes met mine for a moment, his pupils dilated, before they eyed my bag. "Because you're my girlfriend," He coolly answered, making me squirm under his observant gaze. 

I was only more flattered by the way he said those words, making me melt from the inside, but I tried hard to keep myself composed. "Am I?" I questioned again for the affirmation but quickly continued. "You are better off with prettier girls than me,"

Edward took a moment, longingly staring at me, before continuing. "Sorry, there can be only one protagonist in my romantic story, and that's you. The rest others might all end up as the antagonists. We're meant to be together Michelle, there's no other prettier girl than you,"

"And why should I believe you?" I folded my arms across my chest, trying to keep up a straight face and pretending that his words didn't touch my feelings in the slightest when they most probably did.

"Because it's the truth and that's that," He concluded, lifting his eyebrows in stubbornness, eyeing the silver ring, that was still twisted around my finger, and smiling to himself. "I came all the way here to see that." He indicated the glistening ring.

I smiled, but it had a hundred other expressions reflected in them through my thoughts. I took a small breath before plucking all my courage to ask the curiosity-spiking question. "What did you mean in the letter when you said you were trying to fix problems in university? Is there something that I should know about?"

Edward's softened features turned brittle at my words but his gaze remained clung onto me. "It's nothing you should be worrying about, I promise it's only to protect you," The very words felt like that suspenseful cliffhanger in my head as to what it could be that he wasn't unveiling. "You're coming to the party aren't you?"

I looked back at him fully, for the first time just now, and all the worries and doubts inside of me melted from the homely sight of him. I hadn't known how much I had missed him until I had him back. It only stirred more emotions inside of me. Those warm eyes that I had fallen in love with, had now wrecked me into an emotional mess.

"Yes I am," I answered, unable to tell him otherwise. His eyes gleamed with a smile in return. I couldn't just lie to myself all the time, telling myself I didn't love him when I clearly did. Yes, it was true, I was way out of his league, but that wasn't going to change the fact that I would want to stop from trying hard for this ruthless challenge, that was him.

Having categorised us as the plot of a romantic novel, as Edward had put it, he continued along telling me how much I'd missed on work at his place and that he wanted me back there. All of a sudden those butterflies in my tummy moments and the feeling of warmth from being loved had been restored, and better, intensified. Edward had cut me some slack for skipping work for a few days until I was feeling myself again. He dropped me at my flat for which I had profusely refused that I could go by myself, and ordered me some food in the meantime.

Killing the engine, he turned to look at me again and I nervously smiled. "I'll see you later then?"

Before I could unlock my door, his voice stopped me in my position. "Before you leave, I want you to leave those," I followed his gaze, gesturing at the medicine in my bag sprawled in the backseat.

"Edward, I can't," I argued.

He didn't say anything afterwards, just gave me a disappointed look. I took my bag shakily, getting out of the car, and he followed along, helping me get safely to my home. I pecked him lightly on his cheek, and he pulled me into a full-on hug, and I hugged him back, feeling so much better all of a sudden.

We exchanged goodbyes and I went inside, laying in my bed, and smiling to myself as I looked at the ceiling. I finished some of my leftover assignments and work that day as all my negative feelings and resentment against Edward seemed to have evaporated into thin air, all because of his charismatic words and gestures. And that way those three days went by in a blur as the night of our birthday party came along. I received multiple messages from Hayden on the other hand, who seemed to be concerned about my dealing with the heartbreak, but I chose to ignore them instead.

Swiping the pink gloss across my lips, I adjusted my plaid brown skirt and platform heels, looking like something I hadn't appeared to be ever since university started. Yes, there were several parties and occasions that were conducted by students here and there, but I was too awkward to ever attend any of those. Conclusively, it only seemed out of the blue for me to be getting so worked up for the party this time. I was nervous again, my social anxiety kicking in and nauseating me.

Pulling out a cigarette from my bag, I quickly lit it up, before dragging in the smoke to calm myself. Cigarettes had become my only coping mechanism to stress or anxiety and for some reason, they seemed to ease me down. Quite fortunately and surprisingly enough, I never got addicted to them and would go without them for weeks whenever I wasn't stressed.

Combing my hair again, I took one last look in the mirror. I looked quite different today and felt a little shy in all honesty, to be appearing like this in front of my classmates who had mostly seen me in my worst of attires. My body looked a tad bit toned, and not too bulky from the diet I had restricted myself to, and I was glad it was working, although very slowly.

Unplugging my phone from the charger, I came across a missed call -- from a DID number -- which I supposed was from Hayden. I simply shook my head and declined it. Checking the time, which read 22:00, I hurried out of my room. Edward had offered to pick me up, and despite my multiple reasons on why I'd manage everything, he didn't comply, and so I didn't argue back either.

Packing some cigarettes alongside, and concealing the bruise on my leg, I head out of the house, rushing past Mum who was half asleep on the couch, watching TV.

I told her goodbye and quickly made my way out into the chilly night sky. As punctual Edward was, he arrived just in time as he had mentioned, and I smiled at the sight of his car pulling up to my house. After parking, he got out before I could walk towards him, fixing his shirt and running his fingers in his hair which only ended up getting messier. Trudging towards me, he took my things from me, and from his free hand, took my hand in his.

His beautiful blue eyes finally met mine before he spoke in his most English accent. "Good evening, birthday girl,"

My heart fluttered at the very words, and I returned him a smile but didn't remark. "Good evening, birthday twin." Yes, both our birthdays happened to be on the same dates, which was quite a surprise for me, but more surprising for Edward to even find this out without me revealing it. I never had many friends who could care less about my birthday so Edward being so calculated about it, only made me feel better.

"You look gorgeous, if I may add." His eyes took in my appearance and his lips twisted in a smile.

Edward on the other hand, looked remarkably different in his plain black button-up, his sleeves folded to his elbows, which made his blue eyes gleam even in the dark night sky. He had paired it with dark jeans, that complemented him really well, the strong musky cologne he wore, completing his exquisite overtones.

My heels had inched me a tad bit taller than my usual height, but Edward, nonetheless still seemed equally taller. Placing a soft kiss on my cheek, he led me to the car and we both seated ourselves.

Whirring the engine, we drove in silence before Edward put on some Taylor Swift on the radio, more specifically the song 22, to prepare for a more celebratory mood. I felt comfortable in that atmosphere all of a sudden, and that soothed my previously erupting anxiety. Perhaps this was why I had fallen in love with him at how well he understood me. It was as if he had memorised me like a favourite song lyric, and knew the right melody to go with every line of it.

We finally reached his place, which was a medium-sized house, that looked cosy on its own accord. Before we got in, Edward placed a kiss on my lips, whilst seated in the car and I kissed back all of a sudden til it transformed into a full makeout session.

After pulling off breathlessly until we weren't satisfied with each other, he pointed. "You've been smoking a lot lately,"

"Relieves stress you know." I smiled guiltily.

Edward simply nodded a hum, not passing any expression and we got in. The entire parameter of his house was decorated with ribbons and neon lights, right in the living room. And there was more alcohol and beer than any celebratory food. Random confetti bits littered the floor and some people had already showed up, lazing on a couch that was cornered across the wall.

Already feeling nervous jitters inside of me, I inhaled a deep breath, filling in my lungs with air. Edward gave me a small squeeze on my hand before leading me towards the tables that had some drinks. He didn't offer me anything alcoholic, just a cocktail instead, while he showed me around the place.

A few moments later, my only source of hope was distracted by a random friend of his, and he excused me for a bit, unwrapping his hands from mine. I stepped aside, motioning him to let go. I backed away towards the wall, taking in my surroundings while sipping on the drink. Everyone seemed to be in their bubble of animated talking and laughing, having the time of their lives.

And finally, my eyes landed on a surprisingly familiar person -- considering I didn't even know half of the people from my university -- making my breath stuck in my throat at the very sight.

Long blonde hair, and feminine green eyes smiling back at me.