"Are you sure this isn't some mid-life crisis we're having?" Sandy asks with a drink in hand. "Some people would say sky diving at 53 would be having a mid-life crisis."

I shake my head, a smile on my lips. "Maybe you would, but I'm doing this as an ode to new beginnings."

"I know I'm going off with Sadie to New Zealand for our anniversary next week. And Richard is finally getting that kid he's always wanted next month." Sandy ticks these off her fingers and then pauses, looking mischievous as the day I first met her. "But what new beginnings are you celebrating, do tell."

"Stop it," I push her arm, laughing as she almost spills her drink. "I already told you about C.J. You're the one who invited him to sky-dive with us."

"Only 'cause I could see how much you love him," Sandy grins as I yelp at the word 'love.' We haven't said those words yet to each other, but I can feel the day approaching soon. Ever since that last parasailing accident, when I last saw Death all those years ago, I realized I had to change. Not just in my approach toward romantic relationships, but also toward my relationships with my friends and family. I had to let go of my resentment toward my parents for how they tried to make my world seem small and safe and their's. Because then everything I did would be a reaction to them rather than my own actions to live my life. I still went by my middle name Leif, but Viviana no longer produced that internal flinch every time I heard it.

I had to let go of my fear that my friends would leave me if they couldn't accept everything about me. Not just the daredevil parts, but the parts that loved curling up on the sofa to read the next edition of The Cinnamon Roll Strikes Back.

And I had to let go of the urge to follow through with all my crushes, go along with everything they say, to find the love I deserved. Because my fear of being alone shouldn't be worse than my fear of living the life I deserve.

I still remember the day Death spoke those words to me. About no more stupid risks. It took a long time to try and find that balance between no stupid risks and enjoying the thrill an adrenaline rush can give me.

I don't do as many extreme sports as I used to. This would be the third activity since that day. But instead, I now have time to get through my long to-be-read pile of books I've amassed over the years. And to try out some other hobbies I've long put aside.

"Maybe he'll propose to you on the plane," Sandy grins before taking a swig of her drink.

"Hell no," I laugh. "He better not. I'd like my feet on the ground at least."

Sandy pouts. "It would be a good story to tell."

My fingers skin my freedom tattoo from oh-so-long-ago. "Yeah. Yeah, it would be."

Richard comes up to the table, bearing a tray full of fish and chips and burgers galore. "What I'd miss?"

"Leif here was just telling me how she wants C.J. to propose to her after we finish the skydiving," Sandy informs him.

"Lies," I claim, grabbing a ketchup packet to throw at my friend. "She spews vile lies."

"I don't know, it has the ring of truth to it," Richard says mildly, but the shit-eating grin belies his tone.

"I've been betrayed by all sides," I moan, face dramatically in my hands. "I have no friends."

"Naw, you love us," Sandy smirks. Beside her, Richard nods.

I grin back. Yeah, I really do.