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Lex's A+ Parenting


A youth science convention isn't inherently a bad thing, but it is suspicious when it's sponsored and hosted by Lex Luthor. Sure, this could just be another PR thing, but they couldn't risk all those high schoolers' safety.

The League didn't want to deal with more teenagers than usual, and decided to send the team in instead to act as upper-tier security.

They'd hoped that informing Luthor the convention would be supervised would discourage him, but instead the man seemed delighted to hear they were sending the sidekicks in, replying to their veiled warnings with a smile and a comment about liking children. 

The team were in costume and were basically supposed to secure the perimeter, at which point half of them would stand guard outside the convention hall while the other three stood in the emergency fire exits, keeping an eye on the convention floor. After drawing straws, the three unlucky team members (M'gann, Kaldur, and Conner) were sent into the building while their friends clustered around the security desk out front.

They arrived early, and chatted over the comms for about an hour as everything was set up. The convention floor was set up, both with investor booths, which sought to spark brand loyalty in the young attendees, and a tables displaying a handful of science fair projects that had made it to nationals.

When things finally kicked off Luthor talked for easily half an hour, spreading his wings on how many dubious half-truths he said; yes, he owned some of the biggest tech companies in the world, but at least 85% of what Luthor claimed responsibility for were ideas invented by people who worked under him, or owners of companies he immediately bought and claimed as his own.

Conner was tense the whole time. He didn't like being around Luthor, and he didn't enjoy being in loud, crowded convention halls.

The team had made bets on how much of this event would be Luthor humble-bragging into a sound system, and so far it was clear that either Artemis or Robin was going to win that bet. The man just kept talking, like he was god's gift to earth, and most of the teens seemed to be soaking it up; blindly following a tech billionaire with the unachievable dream that if they were just smart and hardworking enough, they'd be like him.


There was a break from the speakers between twelve and one, in which teens were encouraged to have lunch and peruse the booths.

"Well, look who it is." A self-satisfied voice said from close by, making Conner's head snap up. Lex Luthor, who'd stopped to sign autographs for some bootlicking teens nearby, strutted up to Superboy with a smile. "Isn't this a little family reunion?" He said, looking down at the boy. "My my, have you grown? You're only a few inches shorter than me now."

Conner glowered up at him. He hadn't grown even a centimeter and they both knew it. "I'm working." 

"But it's lunch break, don't you want to eat something? A growing boy needs his food."

"What would you care?"

"A great deal. I'm awfully invested in you. I've been setting you up for success since before the little sidekicks found you."

"Some success," he grumbled coldly. 

"Well, it would have been success if you hadn't run away," Lex admitted, "but no hard feelings, we're still family."

"We're not family." Conner growled. 

"We are directly related, I'm afraid no amount of pouting or stomping will change that." He reached out, and before Conner could react, Lex was straightening his shirt. "Now, we can't have you looking all out of sorts like that." Superboy's hands snapped up in self-defense, grabbing Luthor's wrists with full intent to shatter them. "Superboy," he warned in a light, sing-song voice. "lets keep those dangerous hands in your pockets." Gritting his teeth, Conner slowly, slowly forced himself to unhand the man. "There's a good boy." Lex cheered, reaching behind him to tuck in the tag of his shirt. "So, have they been treating you well?"

"Shut up."

"Now, is that any way to talk to your elders?" Lex tsked affectionately. "You are such a funny boy, always so on edge."

"I'm not on edge!" Conner exclaimed, voice cracking slightly.

That made him chuckle, he glanced the crowd beside them with a smirk as if it were some big joke that they were all in on except Conner. He turned back to the boy. "You'd really do better to relax; smile more."

"Don't tell me what to do." 

"You seem tired, did you get enough sleep?" Luthor asked, "You might need a nap, poor thing."

"I don't need a nap!"

Lex didn't even flinch at his raised voice. In fact, he looked rather pleased, giving the growing crowd another look. A few of the teenagers had taken their phones out to film. Conner could hear many of them whispering among themselves:

"Who's that?"

"Is that Superman?"

"--too short--"

"--too skinny--"

"What's going on?"

"Stop it!" Conner snapped, whipping around to face them. "Everyone shut up! Don't film me!"

Lex stepped in. "I'm sorry everyone, it looks like he's in one of his moods." He smiled patiently at Superboy, making the blood in his cheeks boil crimson. "Perhaps I'd better get him somewhere more private until he's calmed down."

"I don't need to calm down!" Superboy shouted. By this point he was vaguely aware that he was making a spectacle of himself, but he couldn't stop, his face and chest burning furiously. "I need to be left alone!"

"You don't want to be difficult," Luthor said, his tone was light and teasing, but the mask faltered for a millisecond, "not with all these people watching..."

Superboy froze, his brain ricocheting between the emotional and logical mind. 

"I'm not going with you!" he shouted at last, "I'm not your pet!"

"I understand how taken you are with this superhero obsession," Luthor said softly. "but you're no more an idol of hope than you are an adult, so there's no need to think you're suddenly too good to talk to your old man."

"You're not my--"

"I'm sorry," Lex said, turning to their audience, "he isn't usually this petulant. I think he must be going through an 'independent' phase."

Conner's ears and cheeks were battling for which could be redder. "It isn't a phase! I don't like you!"

"Do you need to go sit in the corner and calm down? I don't want to have to punish you for acting out."

"Superboy!" A voice exclaimed somewhere behind him. Conner whipped around to find Kaldur approaching.

"Aqualad!" He exclaimed, shooting into the crowd and behind his team leader, trying to put distance between himself and his donor.

"Aw, are your friends going to protect you from mean, bad Lex Luthor?" Lex asked, following the boy at a lazy pace.

Aqualad glared at the man. "We're working. I can't stop you from considering yourself his family, but it's inappropriate to talk to him like that while he's working."

"Oh dear, are you going to tell the Justice League on me?" Lex asked in mock concern. "That's all you can do, legally I mean; you can run and tell mommy and daddy, tell them how I hurt your friend's feelings... but what can they do?"

Kaldur continued to hold Conner behind him. "It's inappropriate to talk to him like that while he's working," he repeated, "and it won't take much to convince the league that there's something afoot at this convention."

"Ah, but then you'd get in trouble for lying." Luthor pointed out.

"Be that as it may, I'll gladly sit out one week of punishment, but I think the Justice League raiding your event, the implications regarding your credibility, will be more lasting." He turned, taking Superboy by the shoulder. "If you'll excuse us."



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