-What can I say?  I was inspired to give yall some harmless goofballery-

"Stupid league and they're stupid, stupid chores!" Robin whined. "Ugh! I'm gonna need to see my massage therapist after this..."

"No one's making you enter our house uninvited, Robin."

"Wait, you have a massage therapist?" Artemis demanded, knee deep in crumpled news paper and splintery wooden pallets. "Why don't I get a massage therapist??"

"Let's just finish cleaning out the storage room and we'll be done." Kaldur said. "This... this is the only one they wanted you to clean, right?"

"Well..." M'gann tugged her fingers. "You see..."

"No." Conner blurted out. "They want five."

"Five?!" Dick gaped. "Five storage rooms like this?"

"They did the thing! You know none of us can resist the thing!" M'gann whined. 

"You don't mean they--"

"They asked if we liked proving ourselves!" Conner cried, smacking himself in frustration. "Of course we like proving ourselves! Everyone does!"

"Okay, we'll just finish this room, and then we'll break for pizza." Kaldur reasoned. That seemed like a fair trade and it bucked the others up so much they got back on track: sorting objects into 'keep', 'review', 'trash', and 'recycling' piles, and shrieking for Kaldur, Conner or M'gann to deal with  the spiders they found. Well, Wally and Robin did most of the shrieking, but it was a team effort.

"WHOA! Rob! Look!" Wally rifled through news paper and yanked something out of the battered cardboard box.

"WHOA times two!" Dick dropped what he was doing. "That looks like a prototype for our current utility belts! I have to tell bats." 

"Take a pic! take a pic with me holding it!" Wally grinned.

He whipped his phone out. "I'm on it, now, give me that winning smile..."

"Aw, you're too much!"

"No pizza until we're done." Kaldur reminded, reinvigorating them.

"Yeah yeah, one sec." Dick sent off the photo and tapped voice memo. "Hey, B, I was just helping the guys clean out the storage rooms-- like the good friend I am-- and I think we found an old belt from WAYYY back before I started! You gotta check it out."

"While you nerds nerd out about your nerdy old-timey junk belt, Supes, wanna help me take these into the hall?" Artemis said, grabbing one pallet and struggling to drag it out. her friend raised the other six and followed.

"Only eight more pallets of boxes left to go and-- AWW!" M'gann shot up to the corner of the room. "Who's the cutest lil' buggy wuggy? Who's got eight legs and is walking into my heart? You are!"

"You aliens are build different!" His phone buzzed. "Oh, it's the big guy! He said 'Put that down. early versions of the utility belt are prone to go off on their own, leave it there until I get back from this meeting. -B'." Robin scoffed. "Why does he sign off on his texts? You don't need to do that, dad!"

"Did he say this thing goes off on it's own?" Wally asked. "We better..."

"AH! She's pregnant too! look at that pudgy little egg sac!" M'gann thrust something off-white and round in Wally's face. "Isn't it SO cute? Wolf spiders cradle their egg sacs so they can carry around their little babies--"

Wally didn't know if his lungs had ever screamed so loud in his life. He tried to put as much distance as possible between him and that thing! The back of his leg hit something hard, and with his jumpy mind, he could only think one thing: more spiders!  He yelped again and, before he could hit the floor, he desperately threw the belt at Robin.

Robin, his dad's words echoing in his head, hit the dirt. Just as the other two reentered. Artemis flew behind the kryptonian and clung to him. Conner, for his part, watched curiously and the belt smacked him in the stomach and exploded.

Dick grit his teeth, turning around. Kaldur just shut his eyes, breathing deeply.  "Way to go Wally!" The bird scoffed.

"Me? M'gann scared the begazes outta me! You know I hate bugs."

"Arachnids." Conner corrected. Other than a little carbon dust and disrupted hair and grooming, he was fine. The same could not, however, be said for the room around him.

"Ohhhhhhhhh" Artemis hissed through her teeth, taking in the scene. "...We're in trouble..."

"That's it. We're dead! deceased! Bat-Dad's gonna KILL us when he finds out we set it off."

"Everyone calm down." Kaldur said. "We just need to clean up the best we can and hope that they forgive us."

"Yeah, we could do that, or..." Dick smirked. "Guys, I think I've got a fix!"

"What is it?" M'gann asked, gently placing the expecting mother in a takeout container so their pheromones wouldn't stress her into birthing her 'zocchituplets' as her roomie called them.

"Simple, bats has duplicates of all his gadgets! If we get the other old model from his archive..."

"Wouldn't batman be mad that we were in his space?" Conner asked.

"He wouldn't know!  No one ever goes down there,  only my púrodad on his weekly deep cleans."

"It's a team secret!" M'gann exclaimed. "What's up, Wally?"

"Well, we gotta make sure you goody-six-shoes don't spill the beans." He jabbed a finger towards the non human members of the team.

"I won't tell! secrets are cool!"

"me too." The other Alien added. "Wh--What are you laughing for?" He demanded, flustered.

"I'm laughing cause we're dead! You can't keep a secret for the life of you!"

 Artemis groaned. "Well? Kal?"

Kaldur let out a long, slow sigh. "I wouldn't let you do this, if you hadn't already decided. But let it be known that I'm only coming to keep you in line, even if the line is crooked."

"Good sport!" Wally smacked his team leader on the shoulder and yelped as a shock of live electricity ran down his bones. "Tattoos! I forgot about the tattoos! Ahh!"

"So, Robin, are we headin' to this archive or what?" Artemis barged past him, punching the top of his head lightly.

"Well, actually Artemis, I have a different job for you..."

"Everyone, dead quiet. We're getting that prototype, getting out, and getting away with it!" Robin lead the way into the batcave. "Touch nothing, Look at nothing! I'll tell you when we get there..."

Wally reached for the dagger with great interest. Without even looking, Kaldur grabbed Wally's wrist and pulled it away.

"B always tells me to stay out of here, but it's just his fancy-shmancy weapons." Dick said, leading the way. "Ah, there it is! The old belt model! That'll do nicely."

"That reminds me, I hope Artemis is still holding it up with the distraction..." Kaldur muttered.

"Please, It's Arty!" Dick said with a laugh. "When she yells, the whole world listens!"

"They have no choice with pipes like hers..."

"C'mon, we'd better get back to the cave before someone spots that we're missing."

"And before Supey explodes from trying not to spill his guts." Wally scoffed. "...I hope he's made a dent on cleaning that old closet... OH! I need a souvenir!"

"NO! No, Wall, this isn't an official mission. No souvenir!" Robin insisted. "Seriously, if bats notices anything missing he'll-- he'll take away my allowance! Than who'll buy our acne creams and our excessive amounts of pretzel sticks?!"

"Chill, I'm only taking... hey, how about this button?" Wally stooped and swept it off the floor. "What's this doin' here?"

"I guess Alfie hasn't been around yet." Dick shrugged. "C'mon let's scram!" but they hadn't even made it past the dinosaur when there was a faint whirr of elevator doors. "Hide!"

"Where?"

"Just hi--Hiiii, Alfredddd what's up?"

"Master Robin, I thought you were with your friends today." Alfred said, giving him a suspicious look. 

"Oh, well, you see, we were gonna order pizza..."

"conditionally." Kaldur muttered under his breath. 

"...and I was gonna pay!"

"Well I don't think you left your wallet down here, but I'll certainly let you know if I find it while vacuuming."

"Oh, yeah, I guess that's my queue to..." He shuffled away from his friend's hiding spot, watching as the butler headed towards the batcomputer. Dick waved to the others, and they shot towards the old batpoles. 

"I hope you kids have fun." Alfred said, still vacuuming. 

"What do we do know?" Kaldur asked, shimmying up the batpole. "Your grandfather's blocking the zetabeam."

"And my arms are tired!" Wally whined. "I don't have upper body strength, dude, I only have thunder thighs!"

"Well I didn't know the automatic batpoles were out of order!" He grumbled. "M'gann, carry gingersnaps up to the top. We'll just have to walk to the nearest zeta! That sound good, team leader?"

"Robin, Gotham city is your turf," Kaldur said, tired and impatient. "I'm willing to step back for today."

"Thanks for your confidence." He groaned, shuffling up the pole.

"She called the watchtower over a spider?" One of the lanterns asked. "Geez, she's really your kid, Ollie."

"It's a Wolf spider!" She insisted. "And it's majorly preggo!"

"No way, wolf spider? You're on your own, kid." Her mentor replied. 

"But your meeting just finished! Why can't just one of you come down?"

"You kids have fought mob bosses and evil scientists, and you can't even swat a spider?" Hawkwoman exclaimed; Canary sunk in her chair, looking embarrassed.

"It's HUGE! It's like a million inches, and it's about to give birth! M'gann says we need to get it outside, but she and Conner are busy cleaning those closets, and I'm not picking it up!"

"Just kill it!"

"No! The Aliens would be so sad! And-- and if none of you come down and take her outside..." Artemis fumbled. "she'll give birth in here and they'll be hundreds of baby wolf spiders on all your fancy old stuff."

"I hope your team remembers this next time you claim to be adults."

"Whatever! You're just proving that the league it also too scared to come down here!"

"Fine, I'll come down." Batman said. 

"NO!" Artemis screamed. "Not-- Not you! Uh, Robin.... uh.... Rob...in.... He..." She hung up and let out a deep breath. "Where are those fools and their belt!"

"How far again?" Wally asked.

"Just a couple more blocks."

"You said that eight blocks ago!"

"Okay... just a couple blocks by Gotham standards." He admitted. "What's up Megs?"

"Uncle J'onn says, uhm," She blushed green. "Are we really alright walking through the city like this?"

Robin let out a bark of laughter. "Oh, I wish Artemis was here. It's Gotham, guys! people in weird costumes are always running around out here! Watch."

"Watch wh--"

"Wham!" Dick yelled, shoving her out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. She froze, trying to remember how they breathed and changed their skin colour, only to be brushed past impatiently. 

"Shove it, lady."

"Shut the hell up, that's Ivy! Do you want to die?"

"Too young to be ivy. just some kid in cosplay."

"Yeah, yeah. Last time it was 'a kid in cosplay', the apartment was demolished!"

M'gann blinked. "They don't care."

"Not with three of the most famous teen heroes ever escorting you." Wally linked arms with her like they were Dorthey and the Tin man. "Alright, Le'go."

It was pretty peaceful that day; it took a whole twenty minutes of walking downtown before they found a crime worth the effort of stopping; just a couple adults busting open an ATM. The citizens calmly filed around them on the pavement, as if nothing were happening.

"Welp, I guess we should handle this.." Robin sighed. "HEY! BINGUS AND BONGUS! CUT IT OUT!" He chased them lazily into the alley.

"Ugh! It's not even Bats! it's just Robin." One crook groaned. "I am not getting my ass handed to me by a ten year old. I'm out!"

"Ten!?"

"Robin, not now." Kaldur hissed. 

"thirteen and a half!" Robin thrust the belt at Wally and flew at the criminals.

"You traitor!" The other crook dropped the duufle he was carrying, fumbling for his gun. 

"HEY! DON'T YOU DARE!" Wally cried, throwing the belt at M'gann and sprinting after his friend. 

"CATCH IT!" Kaldur ordered, and M'gann, remembering all too well, suspended it in mid air, not even daring to breath.

There was the click of a gun cocking, but just as Wally kicked the gun from his hand, they were drowned by a shadow.  "Oh, no! No! C'mon!" Robin whined, tying the guys up and striding over. M'gann hid the belt behind her back, watching with wide eyes. "BATS! WE WORK SOLO NOW! THAT MEANS  N-O A-D-U-L-T-S!" Robin shouted. "We totally had it!"

"Something's been stolen from the batcave."

"OH-- really?" Dick squeaked, shutting up. "What's that?"

Bruce looked at him suspiciously, then shrugged it off. "Nothing. Except an old tracer button."

Wally let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, you mean this one?" He glanced at his friends. "What? Why are you-- Oh."

"Thanks for holding onto that, Wally." Dick said. "We didn't know it was a tracer! We were just asking Alf-- uh, Agent A to give us a button we could use to, uh."

"Fix Conner's clothes!" M'gann cut in. "They're always torn, y'know?"

"Take your friends back to the mountain, Robin." Batman said seriously. "You remember the rules, no--"

"--No friends in the city, I know!" Dick sighed. "C'mon guys." 

"I'll stop by for that Object of interest when I've dismissed the meeting."

"Whoa, Whoa Whoa, Wait! you just left the entire league hanging to find this button? Hardcore!" Wally dropped the button into his hand, chuckled nervously, and the teens started backing away. "So, uh, later."

"Out of the city." Batman reminded. "The nearest tube is just a few blocks away."

The teens groaned.

"Just in time!" Artemis sighed, dumping the remains of the belt into a bag. "Took you long enough!"

"Not now, need food!" Wally panted. "...Hypoglycemia..." 

"You drama queen." She kicked him where he crumpled on the ground. "Well, at least you got the belt. I think Connie's just about done back there. CONNER?"

"Ow! DON'T YELL!" He yelled back through the wall. "I CAN HEAR!"

"So, are you done?"

"YEAH, BASICALLY!"

They steeled up with anticipation as the computer announced Batman. "Hey dad!" Robin waved eagerly, giving his best innocent eyes. "We've got the artifact right here for you!" 

"Didn't I tell you not to hold this? It's combustible." The Bat scolded, looming over them.

"Yeah, I'm just holding it so you don't have to!" He explained, holding the belt out. 

"Good. I'm glad you kept it safe. I will have it destroyed right away."

"Oh, great." Dick squeaked.

"M'GANN!" There was a thunder of pounding footsteps. "M'GANN!" They turned to see Conner shoot around the corner. "M'GANN! M'GANN YOUR-- oh."

"Superboy!" Artemis said, glancing at the bat and then giving the kryptonian a warning death-look. "Whatcha doin' out here, bud?"  

"I--" He stammered, eyes locked on the belt in Batman's grasp. "...I..."

"Is the first room cleaned out?" Kaldur stalled. The other boy nodded, still staring at the belt. He began fidgeting, shifting his weight around, avoiding eye contact except for staring at the belt.

"Great, well, Dad, you've got the belt, we'll just have some lunch and we'll get back to cleaning!"

Batman looked down at him, frowning slightly, then followed Superboy's eyes back to the belt. "This is in remarkable condition for something left in a box for eight years..."

"I mean, it sure aged well. I guess that just proves that you're good with picking designs..." Dick wheedled.

"It's not even dusty." Batman observed, switching his eyes from one teen to another. "...not even scratched from use in combat."

"Uh, time heals all wounds?" Wally offered, earning glares from his friends.

"This doesn't look like its been in a box for eight years... in fact, it doesn't look like it's been used at all." His eyes landed on the kryptonian and the room exploded.

"WE DIDN'T FIND THAT IN THE STORAGE ROOM!" Conner burst out. "WE--"

"FOUND IT IN THE ARMOURY!" Dick  interrupted. "That's why wasn't used! you must have put it there back in the day and never needed to use it."

"Why would it by dusty if we use the armoury all the time." Kaldur added, although he gave Dick a glare that showed how unimpressed he was with all this.

"I don't know how this ended up in the armory, it has a 'replica for archival' serial code."

"Must have been a goof. You know how crazy things were back then!" His protégé added.

"We're-- I mean, you're only human!" M'gann said pleadingly.

"I'll be talking to you-know-who about this." Batman warned, turning to leave.

"Yeah, I bet Grandad remembers better than us." Dick said "Bye dad! Love you!" He turned to his companions as Batman vanished through the zetabeam. "And that, my good folks, if how it's done."

"Well done, Robin!" M'gann clapped excitedly. "Oh, Conner, what did you want to tell me?"

"What? Oh!" He started and cleared his throat. "Your spider is giving birth."

"And that's pretty much how it happened." Artemis concluded, spitting out her toothpaste and rinsing the brush. "pass my toner?"

"Sounds like you and your friends had... a fun day." Her mom said hesitantly. 

"Yep." She dried her face. "How was the job search?"

"I'll find something soon." Paula said. "Con Cưng, Your phone."

"cảm ơn mẹ." Artemis took the phone. "It's Ollie." She pressed accept and help it to her hear. "What's up?"

"So, uh..." His voice crackled over her terrible cell service. "I hear that you and your friends like proving yourselves..."

Artemis slammed her toothbrush on the counter "DO WE EVER!"