Maria fought the urge to run to Mitch's room all evening and night to confirm what she'd already heard on the phone. Shawn had said Mitch needed space, but she only lasted until 9 am the following morning, when Emma's cell lit up with a text from Shawn on the nightstand. Maria got dressed quietly and sneaked over to Mitch and Shawn's, which was next to theirs.

Shawn answered the door and greeted her with a bear hug she needed more than she realized. She melted into his arms like she would her cousin's if she were back home. One of Sunshine's lines about her coworkers being the best people Maria would ever meet rang in her mind.

She pulled away and studied Shawn's tired smile. He had still maintained his clean-shaven look. "How's your morning going?"

"It's quiet," he said with a tone of relief.

"After this weekend, we could all use a dose of that."

Shawn chuckled and glanced at the bed where Mitch was sprawled out in a sleeveless top and boxers. "Yeah. How are you doing?"

Maria focused on Shawn. It was too soon to be checking out Mitch. "Going through the five greatest emotions: guilt, regret, shame, fear, anxiety."

"We're always our harshest critics."

"The men I date are close seconds." She smiled, even if the thought stung.

"You have had some rotten luck, but he has nothing but good things to say about you." Shawn inclined his head toward Mitch.

"How is he doing?"

Shawn tucked his hands in his shorts pockets. "Better, but only relative to yesterday. He's not... he's dealing with a lot..."

As Shawn exhaled a shaky breath, Maria gave him another hug. Handling Adrian's moods had always drained her, and it couldn't be any easier on Shawn.

"I can stay if you need a break," she said.

"You don't have to do that."

"Suffering isn't easy on us empaths. You deserve rest too."

"Are you sure?" After she nodded, he added, "I don't know how he'll react but take everything with a grain of salt, and if something seems off, call me."

That was a grim statement. Something had happened last night from Shawn's warning and Mitch's ominous 'alive' comment yesterday. She had her suspicions but hoped she was wrong.

Shawn slipped on his sandals. "Do you want anything from the breakfast buffet?"

"Um, always?"

He laughed. "I'll grab us all some food. Is Emma up?"

"Not yet."

"I figured that much. Good luck and thank you."

Once Shawn left, Maria scanned the room. No booze in sight and the space was much cleaner than Mitch's apartment last weekend, although they'd only had a few days in this spot, and Shawn was taking care of him. The morning light illuminated Mitch's form, sprawled on his stomach with his head facing toward the middle of the bed. Maria lay beside him as softly as she could, glancing at the dark circles under his eye, his dishevelled hair, and his pale skin.

His outstretched hand rested the closest to her, and she placed hers within it, giving it a gentle squeeze. A small smile made its way to his lips, and he whispered "Maria" without opening his eyes. Did he think about her that instinctually, or had he heard her earlier? He would have said more if he were awake. She wished to scoot closer until she was in his arms, but her breakup with Tom was too fresh to navigate anything romantic with Mitch, and Shawn's warning hung in the air.

Mitch's thumb rubbed circles on the back of her hand, and his eyes slowly opened. "Am I dreaming?"

Maria shook her head. "I needed to see if you were alright. I wanted to come last night, but..."

He sighed. "It's good you didn't."

Maria nodded with a sinking sensation in her stomach. The way he'd said 'alive' last night had shaken her to her core. It was too similar to talking Adrian down from his break-downs.

He squeezed her hand and smiled. "But I'm glad you're here now."

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you yesterday, after everything with Tom, I..." A tear rolled down her cheek, and Mitch caught it with his thumb.

"Tom would have torn both our heads off. I get it."

"Instead, he went after yours. I'm so sorry, Mitch. You didn't deserve his anger." Mitch had backed off during their relationship, and it had been Maria who'd flirted with the lines of their friendship.

"I deserved a little. But, yesterday was..." He exhaled a long breath and his eyes held a vacantness like that night before the pool party. "More than just Tom."

When Mitch didn't add more, she asked, "Emily?"

His voice was low and whisper-like. "And every other terrible fucking thing I've done."

Her vulnerability tugged at her heart until she reached out to stroke his jaw, letting the stubble tickle her fingertips. "You're much more than that."

Mitch shuddered and closed his eyes tightly. "There's so much you don't know."

"I'm here if you ever want to tell me."

"Thanks. I'm not ready yet, but someday." He leaned into her touch and smiled. His eyes glistened. "You're more than I deserve."

"Just slightly more, like a heaping tablespoon of sugar. Not enough to ruin the recipe but improve it."

Mitch laughed and stared at her. "I missed you and this."

"Me too."

They lay there staring at each other, not daring to inch closer or amplify the distance. The blue hues of his reminded her of a stormy ocean today.

Mitch pushed his hair away from his eyes and frowned. "I'm sorry about Christmas and the weeks leading up to it. You've always been incredible, and I've never appreciated it. I treated you awfully, and I'm doing everything in my power to avoid doing it again."

The rawness of those memories prickled her skin, but his closeness and the way his refusal to take his eyes off her fought against that apprehension. "I appreciate the apology."

Mitch drew in a shaky breath. "I'm getting set up with a therapist this week. Shawn thinks it'll help with everything."

Maria smiled and pulled him into a brief embrace. "It will. That's so great you're going."

"I've hurt so many people. I need to do better for everyone, especially you."

She'd thought she'd seen flickers of his desire in his ocean eyes over the past few months, but today it all shone through. Yet he didn't make any move to close the gap between them, nor did she. Either he sensed it was too early for physical intimacy for Maria, or he wasn't ready or perhaps both. He had, however, shown her his vulnerable side, which was much rarer than a kiss.

"Therapy's a good route. It helped me a lot when I was a kid."

He sat up a little more. "You?"

Maria nodded. She hadn't talked about this in years, not even to Adrian, but she wanted to ease Mitch's hesitance to share his vulnerabilities. "My mom had sent me off with my auntie and Sunshine one morning, and I'd forgotten my favourite stuffed animal, so we drove back. The door was still open, and when I peeked into my mom's room..."

Just the simple act of closing her eyes transported her to that day. The acrid stench of vomit, the cool temperature of her mother's skin, Maria's stumbling footsteps to her aunt, who was waiting in the living room.

Mitch, squeezing her hand, grounded her in the hotel.

"I found her passed out on the floor. My dad told me she was having a bad day and had taken too much medicine by accident. I had upset her that morning by asking too many questions and losing my jacket."

Maria could still hear the voice that berated her as a kid saying "stupid, stupid, stupid", but could turn it off. "I felt awful and kept freaking out when I'd make mistakes, stopped talking, would have break-downs when it was time to leave her side and have nightmares where she didn't wake up." Her breath quickened, and she had to focus on the rising and falling of Mitch's chest and the gentle curves of his arms to distract herself.

"Someone at my school recommended therapy. My parents didn't like the idea, but when I kept withdrawing more, we tried it. Over time, the clinginess and perfectionism got out of my system."

Maria didn't realize her hand was shaking until Mitch pressed his lips to it. The warm sensation calmed her, and she shot him a grateful smile.

"You're a rock for getting through that. I can't even imagine." He stared off into the distance. "Does your family ever talk about what happened?"

"Once, when I was choosing my university courses, my mom and I had an honest conversation about that morning." Camilla was the strongest woman that Maria knew, and seeing her breakdown had been tough. "She'd had lost three pregnancies after I was born. She was defeated between the jobs she and my dad were working to make rent and borrowing money for food from her sister. She thought the miscarriages were God's punishment for not supporting her family well enough."

"That's rough." The look in his eyes told Maria he was holding back from saying more.

"My aunt, who's a nurse, came to stay with us for a while. She helped my mom take better care of herself and even got her to try a few therapy sessions. Not as many as me, but my parents always put my health ahead of theirs."

"Do you still go to therapy?"

Maria shook her head. Her family had been quite thrilled when the whole endeavour was over, but it was the reason she pursued a psychology degree. She wanted to offer that relief, no matter how brief it was, especially for the families least likely to seek help like hers. "It's easier to process her situation the older I get. A young child isn't responsible for their parent's depression, although it didn't stop me from trying to fix my ex's. I guess I thought I could help him like my aunt helped my mom. Maybe I should have returned to my therapist, so I would have seen his abuse sooner."

"Don't blame yourself. He was a snake that preyed on your vulnerability."

While Adrian didn't know the entire story, partly because he'd never asked, he knew about her degree and passion for psychology and her past with therapy. However, he got defensive any time she suggested it to him. He'd never wanted to get better, only to steal her attention and control her. It encouraged her to see Mitch was nothing like that.

"Was it easy to decide to go to therapy?" Maria asked.

Mitch inhaled a shaky breath. "No."

Maria smiled at him. "It's okay to need help."

He leaned back against the headboard. "It's different. I'm a full-grown, functioning adult. I've had every advantage in life. But I keep fucking up and hurting people, and..." Mitch's eyes teared up more, and as he closed them, deep lines cut into his forehead.

"Some days you don't want to live?"

Tears travelled down his cheeks before he nodded. "I didn't want to say anything after what you..."

"What I've been through makes it easier to see the signs. Was that what happened yesterday?"

When Mitch nodded, Maria wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. His hands clutched her like he was afraid she'd flee, even though it was the last thing on her mind.

"If it happens again, find me, knock on my wall, kick in my door or anything."

He sighed. "Thanks, but I don't want to burden you."

She leaned back to look into his eyes. "That's what I'm here for."

"I want you here because you enjoy being with me, not because you fear what I might do."

"I'm here unconditionally."

He extracted himself from her arms. "You know better than anyone that support should be conditional. I'd be horrified if you stuck around after treating you like I did in December again."

"You are dealing with a lot."

Mitch clasped his hands. "It's not an excuse. If I don't have my act together, I need to fix that without projecting my issues onto others."

"If it's an emergency, I'm always here regardless of whether we've had a fight."

Mitch picked at his thumbnail. "That's what Shawn thinks therapy will help with: fewer emergencies and handling them better when they happen. It helped him see through my bullshit yesterday."

Maria squeezed Mitch's hand.

"You did too since that's why you're here."

"We care about you a lot."

He smiled. "The feeling is mutual."

As they grinned at each other, keeping their distance, a knock echoed from the front door. Wouldn't Shawn use his key card, or was he just being polite?

Mitch rolled over and stood up, stretching his arms over his head until his displaced shirt showed part of his back. He ran a hand through his hair and sloth-walked to the door. After looking through the keyhole, his posture stiffened. He mouthed 'Tom' at her.

This would look terrible even if it wasn't, but Mitch shouldn't have to deal with Tom's unwarranted anger, so she hurried to hide in the bathroom.