Prae's slumped shoulders contrasted with the bright white walls interspersed with the photography of Paris. Upbeat jazz music played and sunlight streamed through the café windows as she and Mitch waited at a table for their drinks. He didn't know the woman well but deduced that maintaining her regular demeanour at work was growing harder, so he'd offered to grab a coffee together after school as tonight was also a date night for Maria and Tom. He'd chosen a place far enough from their school and neighbourhood to avoid running into anyone familiar since he sensed she was anxious about it.

Prae looked through the French desserts on the menu before she turned to Mitch. "Why do you keep buying me drinks?"

He scanned the cramped shop, brimming with friends, students and a few faces of foreigners who likely taught at a nearby international school. "The last times I was miserable, I treated other people horribly, so I thought cheering you up might be a pleasant change."

Prae glanced at two mothers with young children who were leaving. "Is it helping?"

"Yes, I feel like a less terrible person around your sabotage fantasies. What are you scheming today?" He grinned at her.

Her pale face reddened. "I wish I had said nothing that night."

The server broke Prae's embarrassment by dropping off a hazelnut coffee with a triangle wafer and a pink Italian soda with orange and cherry garnishes before taking their food order.

Mitch let the drink warm his hands. "You know eighty percent of what I say is sarcastic, right? I assume drunken confessions aren't your true intentions."

Prae's voice was hoarse as she traced the rim of her glass. "They were still my thoughts."

"When you walked into the pool party, I wished you were a stranger so we could hook up."

She coughed and refused to meet his eyes.

"But I know better. It wouldn't have ended well for either of us, especially knowing what I do now. Our reactions define us, not the initial thoughts."

After sipping her soda and sighing, she whispered, "I don't want these thoughts. I'm acting like I want Tom and Maria to succeed—but it is a lie. How do I make my feelings stop?"

Mitch sipped his hazelnut coffee. Like Maria, the flavour had grown on him and his days were empty when he couldn't have it. "When I figure it out, you'll be the first to know."

"But what to do? When I bring up your good qualities or compliment you, it makes her sad instead of interested. I also feel terrible doing it because she and Tom are happy."

"That guilt doesn't go away either," Mitch muttered. Every time he wanted to sabotage the relationship or tell her he desired to be more than her friend, a voice crept in, telling him he was a selfish asshole. He'd done many awful things in the past three years, but this would be in the top five.

"Do you think they'll ever break up? They're mostly happy, they both want a family and marriage, and they live in the same area in Canada. It's a perfect future."

The Thai chatter and jazz music around them buzzed in his ears until they became the only things he heard. Everyone, including himself, thought Mitch and his ex-fiancé had a perfect future. They both loved their teaching profession, wanted to settle down in the country someday, and create the warmest and most supportive environment for the three kids they planned on having.

Little did they realize a small spark could ignite the monster that lay dormant within him. At least if Maria was with Tom, she'd be safe from that; although Prae deserved love, and Mitch didn't like how Tom doted on her when his attention should be on Maria.

"It's hard to say. She tolerates some pretty deplorable behaviour when she thinks she has a shot at the future she wants." He'd jerked her feelings around when he was too scared to tell her he wanted a relationship, and she still hung out with him and overlooked his many flaws.

Prae inhaled sharply and whispered, "Tom would not act that way."

"He's spending as much, or more, time with you as he does with Maria. Didn't you say you're talking almost every evening too?"

A tear slipped from Prae's eye, and she wiped it away like it would burn her skin. "I know I should stop."

"It's not you. He should do better. You're being a friend. If you were asking him to spend the night at your—"

"I would never do that!" Her eyes scanned the café at a frantic pace like they'd caught her stealing.

His gut twisted even as waiters flew by with croissants and cheesecake. Not only had he asked Maria, but she'd also done it without hesitating. He'd taken advantage of her kind heart because of his inability to cope alone. "I know. That's why I'm telling you that you don't need to feel guilty."

"He worries a lot about his relationship with Maria, about his family, and his students. I only try to reassure him."

"He's lucky to have you." And Maria. How had Tom pulled that off, especially when he wasn't treating either of them that well?

Women like assholes; you should know that better than anyone.

Prae reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "She is very fortunate to have you."

A rock dropped into the depths of his stomach. "Not really. I'm not a good person like you are. I've done terrible things."

Prae smiled gently at him. "I used to believe that about you, but you do plenty of good."

"An ounce of humanity doesn't erase what I've done to women."

Prae's brown eyes locked onto his. "Maria told me you are the only person she knows who tries to hide their kind actions. She is still your friend, despite it causing Tom stress, and she's aware of your past."

Mitch wanted to laugh. Thailand was his present, not his past. That was a fraction of the pain he caused. "She hardly knows about my past."

Telling her about his sister had been like jumping off a cliff for the first time, being unsure there weren't jagged rocks lurking below, but the rush and cool relief of having gone through with it washing over him. But he'd omitted the details that would scare her because he still needed her in his life. Sunshine had left as had Dan, then he'd driven away Becca and Priya. His Bangkok family was as distant and sparse as his biological one. Em—

A warm hand covered his, and he met Prae's gaze. His urge to run faded slightly.

"Are you all right? You're fairly pale, even for a foreigner."

Mitch snorted and drowned his nerves in caffeine with a side of a wafer cookie. A vibration in Prae's bag saved him. "Pretty and funny. No wonder Tom's blowing up your phone."

"I'm sure that's not..." She dug for her cell, and her eyebrows raised as the screen lit up.

"Go on. You want to answer it."

Prae ran her thumb over the screen and pressed her lips together as the device buzzed again.

"Would you prefer I answer?" Mitch asked.

"No, thank you." Prae's casual response contrasted her tense muscles and almost made Mitch laugh. "Hi, Tom." As a male voice echoed, a smile grew on her face, and she laughed. "I am sure she'll love it... No, you're overthinking it."

Every hair twirl and giggle amplified Mitch's empathy for Prae. Tom was turning to her for Maria advice, which gave points to his relationship, but he was oblivious to how much it hurt Prae. The man couldn't be that ignorant, could he?

"French food sounds perfect." Her eyebrows raised and her eyes widened. "La Normandie? It is difficult to get a reservation there, but the photos I've seen are spectacular." Her smile had vanished.

Mitch searched the place on his phone and the extravagant images of a fancy French riverside restaurant in an expensive, historic hotel. Would Maria like it or find it pretentious? She had said her relationship wasn't official yet. Was that where he planned to ask her? It was a location built for romantic evenings and proposals.

It was a decent idea. Maria had declined the opportunity to win a trip to Paris as a finalist in her cooking competition. The dishes also cost half as much as their monthly rent, which wasn't something Tom would take lightly. As a friend, Mitch wanted to be happy for her, but he struggled.

"I'm at a very cute French café..." Prae smiled weakly. "No, it's okay, you are not a bother... I'll send you photos later if you wish to consider it as a backup if you're worried. It gives me an excuse to order more delicious baking... I couldn't accept that. I want to do this for you two..." Her cheeks turned red. "Thank you, you as well."

When she ended the call, only her heavy breathing betrayed her unease. The weight on his shoulders intensified. Their window to be with the people they wanted was closing. Once the relationship was official, Maria wouldn't dare act the way she had before and at the pool party, and Mitch would never tell her how he felt. Prae stared at her drink.

"You okay?" he asked.

She closed her eyes and nodded.

"Liar," he whispered, which made her laugh for a second.

As she cradled her head in her hands, he did a quick search on his phone then slid it across the table to her. She frowned. "What is this?"

"Pick the one that intrigues you the most."

She glanced at the device. "Why?"

"We both need something more satisfying than food and drinks."

She scrolled through the list and furrowed her brow. "Do adults visit these places without children?"

"If they want a socially acceptable place to scream and take out their frustrations."

"I can do that in an empty park for free."

"It's much better in a go-kart or on a trampoline. Plus, it'll be free for you, my treat." It seemed like a bribe, but he couldn't face another night alone or lying to Shawn about being fine. He was sick of being a burden. At least with Prae, they both needed support.

"Are you sure?"

"I need it as much as you do, and I look sad going solo."

She tapped on the screen and smiled. "I suppose I could help you with that." She handed back the phone, which displayed an indoor go-kart track.

***

Any thoughts on the chapter or Mitch and Prae's reflections?

Sorry for the long lapse in updates. I have been working on the story offline and just wanted to finish and polish up the whole draft before posting it in full. I'll try to update at least once a week until the story is complete. Thanks for sticking with it.