Maria's melodious laugh filled the air before Mitch saw her enter the courtyard. A smile tugged at his lips. Five days spent without her were harder than expected. Perhaps Shawn and Hans had a point. It was high time to tell her how important she was to him. He imagined her challenging his statement, then once he'd soothed her disbelief, he'd pull her into a kiss that would mean infinitely more than their first. His facial muscles stretched into a broader grin.

Emma's voice carried from the apartment doors. "I still can't believe she chased you two off the terrace with a broom."

Maria's voice joined in as their footsteps grew louder. "We were close to the edge too. Not our brightest idea to fall asleep under the stars."

"But I'd do it again in a heartbeat," Tom said.

His voice made Mitch's breathing hasten. Tom and Maria had slept together under the stars. No reason to get too jealous, it was just Tom. His moves competed for speed with glaciers traversing a valley. When they rounded the corner, Maria's hand was encased in his.

Son of a bitch!

Her face still lit up when Mitch met her gaze, but she didn't let go of Tom's hand. Mitch's stomach stung like he'd been punched in the gut. He longed to speak, but the air was trapped in the bottom of his lungs.

"Mitch! How was the South? All those wild parties?"

He exhaled and brought more oxygen into his body. Was that assumption why she had gotten close to Tom? She'd given up hope for Mitch? Tom would have supplied those ideas: getting loaded, being obnoxious and hooking up with strangers.

"We stayed in Koh Tao to do more scuba diving. It didn't get very wild, but we met interesting people. You would have liked it."

Her smile widened. "I can't even imagine exploring underwater for hours. It looks incredible in videos."

"There are some beautiful fish and very bizarre ones too. How was the North?"

Maria's smile illuminated her face even more than before, her brown eyes sparkling. Clearly much better than sharing joints with near-strangers on the beach to celebrate a new year.

"Amazing! Tom planned a tour with Prae's brother the first day, and we swam in waterfalls." She met the grinning ginger's gaze. Mitch bit his cheek, trying not to ignore Tom's hands on Maria's bikini-clad body. "Then we had three nights of huge home-cooked meals. Prae showed us around the village, then we relaxed, drank rice wine, enjoyed life."

"It sounds incredible," Mitch said. Anything with Maria would have been. Why didn't he try to include her in his New Year's plans? He was a fool.

Maria nodded. "It kind of was."

Tom widened his grin. That smug bastard. She wouldn't have considered that jerk if Mitch hadn't rejected her offer... or gotten cold and mouthy with her around Christmas. What the hell had he been thinking?

"And what about this?" He nodded at their entwined fingers. Maria didn't shift away uncomfortably like he thought she would. "You two a thing now?"

"He's taking me out on Thursday, right?" She glanced at Tom with a smile that drove a knife into Mitch's chest.

"Yeah, we haven't decided where yet. Any recommendations, Mitch? You know the neighbourhood well."

He also knew Maria better than Tom did. The spoiled jerk didn't deserve this date if he couldn't think of a place on his own, but Maria stood wide-eyed like an eager puppy. As much as he hated it, this was the best thing for her, not her asshole neighbour with unresolved emotional baggage. He took a deep breath. Helping Tom would make Maria happy, and he wanted that the most. Even if it hurt like stepping on a rat trap.

"There's that Korean BBQ place on the way to the mall you'd both probably like or a vendor nearby who makes a great Chinese hot pot."

"Those both sound awesome." Maria met his gaze.

Mitch looked away, catching Tom eyeing him.

"Thanks, buddy. Those are decent suggestions," Tom said.

Of course they were. Mitch actually gave a shit about Maria's feelings more than he valued his own, unlike that egotistical ginger. Mitch forced a smile before he departed to catch a cab to work, not having the patience to wait for Shawn. This week would be as uncomfortable as putting on a cold, soggy wetsuit on a windy day.

***

Mitch sat at the hallway balcony table on Thursday evening, sipping on Sangsom and cola. The whiskey burned more than usual. Maria bustled and banged around in her apartment next door. Curses echoed through the walls, making him chuckle. When she emerged from her room, Mitch's breath caught in his throat. She'd added waves to her silky black hair, her jeans showed off the curves that drove him wild, and her flowing, light purple top, tucked into the waist, softened her outfit and appearance.

"You're beautiful."

Maria whirled around and took a few deep breaths as she faced him. He smiled back at her and her gaze and facial muscles relaxed.

"It's not too..."

"It's perfect." He wanted to tell her she was perfect, every strand of hair that she'd fought with, every pound she grumbled about needing to lose that only accentuated her shapely body, every smile, word and touch that meant more to him than she realized.

Her eyes teared up, but she blinked the droplets away as quickly as they appeared and painted on a smile. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Are you nervous?" Mitch asked.

Maria cocked her head. "I don't think so. I'm not sure if I'm making a mistake."

The look in her beautiful brown eyes made his stomach drop fifty feet.

His mind pleaded with him to act on this blatant opening to confess his feelings, but another voice whispered, Tom would never hurt her. Tom hadn't led her on for months and then tossed her aside when their friendship got intense. He had made her happy on their trip and was the right choice.

"You won't know until you try it," Mitch said.

Maria nodded and twisted away from him, taking in a loud, shaky breath. Against his better judgement, Mitch wrapped his arms around her. She turned to face him and nestled her head into his chest as if nothing had changed between them. He rubbed his hand over her back as she sniffled a few times.

The thought that he did this tore a hole in his heart. Not only had he done it, but he continued to twist the knife. He deserved to suffer as he was now, just as she deserved every happy moment she'd have with Tom. The sooner he could let go of his feelings, the less she'd get hurt.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. She lifted her head from his constricting chest to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry I hurt you and that I couldn't be the man you needed."

Her eyes shot to the ground.

"Thanks," Maria said lightly. "It's not for everyone, I guess."

He had a hundred redeeming words on his tongue, but they all clung like tar. She had a chance with a man who wasn't an emotional fuck-up, who hadn't driven away the last woman he'd promised to love, and who hadn't taken sickening satisfaction in terrorizing her.

"Are you okay?" Maria asked.

Mitch relaxed his jaw and tensed arms and nodded. She deserved someone less messed up than him. Maybe it wouldn't be Tom, but it sure as hell wasn't Mitch.

"You're going to be late for your date." Mitch's voice came out like rough lava rock, and he released her from his embrace.

"We're still friends, right?" Maria asked.

The word both cut and reassured him. He longed to be so much more, but he couldn't be, not if he cared about her. If he could be her friend, he would take it.

"Of course."

"And I know personal stuff isn't your forte, but if you ever need to talk... I may seem like I'm always blabbing about my drama, but I listen well too."

"Thanks, Maria." He stopped himself before he said more and sidetracked her from her evening. "I'll..." A redhead in a nice dress shirt and tie, carrying a bouquet, walked toward them. "Have fun tonight," Mitch said.

Before he could extract himself from the situation, Tom greeted both of them. Maria stepped away first.

"You look great." Tom kissed her on the lips.

Maria stiffened for a moment then pecked him. The jerk put his arm around her and glanced at Mitch as if he'd claimed his prize. Part of Mitch wondered why he hadn't taken the opening with Maria, but another voice reminded him that this was Tom feeling threatened, that beyond a bit of bravado, he and Maria would be compatible enough.

"I always forget you two are neighbours, but you'd think I'd remember, this being Daniel's old place and all," Tom said as if he'd cared enough to spend much time with them after his messy break-up months in the beginning.

"Yeah, it's shocking how well know someone after sharing a wall with them," Mitch said.

Tom laughed. "I'm not certain that's accurate. I'm not close to Priya or Kayla other than wishing they had better taste in music or shows."

"It helped Mitch and I become good friends."

Tom raised an eyebrow and grinned at Mitch. "Good friends? That's nice."

Mitch relaxed the hand that had balled into a fist.

"Are those flowers just to accentuate the colour of your tie, or..." Maria said.

Tom's face softened, and he turned back to her with a smile. "Sorry, they're for you. I hope you like lilies. They reminded me of Doi Inthanon."

"They're beautiful, Tom. Thank you. Come in for a minute so I can get them in water. Have a good night, Mitch."

"You too and let me know how you guys like the food."

Maria smiled back at him. "Will do."

Mitch ran a hand through his hair and leaned over the balcony to catch his breath. Giving up his shot with Maria to watch her date someone better suited to her was one thing, but seeing her with Tom... He hadn't imagined it would be so hard and would need to be elsewhere when Tom dropped her off.

His phone vibrated.

Shawn: Meet at the courts in 10?

Mitch almost laughed at Shawn's timing. The man could be a psychic.

Mitch: Hell ya! Be there in 5.