After the school's Christmas festivities had finished, Maria was exhausted and unsure if she could return for the dinner planned for the foreign and Thai staff that evening. She wanted to curl up under a blanket and watch romantic movies where the guy was interested in the girl, not just flirting with her for months to toss her aside when she said yes like it was a heartless challenge.

She and Mitch couldn't even be civil anymore. He had blown up at her for suggesting they have lunch together and asking why they couldn't hang out like they used to. She'd hoped they'd stay friends, but he kept avoiding her. At least Tom and Prae were supportive, but being with Mitch allowed her to feel more like herself than she had in years. She sighed. Whatever that was, it wasn't worth this pain.

When Maria's phone buzzed, she dove for it on the bed to find a text from Emma.

Emma: Come to Tom's. We're going to swap gifts before supper :)

Maria glanced at the three presents sitting on her desk. Maybe that would cheer her up or at least get her mind off Mitch. She responded to Emma with a thumbs up, Christmas tree and present emojis.

As she locked up her apartment with gift bags in hand, a set of footsteps rushed up the stairs. She prayed it was someone else in a hurry, but a tall, muscular blond who continuously plagued her thoughts rounded the corner with a bag of jangling bottles.

She kept her head down as she passed him. As much as she longed to see him, their relationship was irreparably changed after this weekend, not for the better. Saying nothing would be the safest option.

"You don't have to bring gifts to the dinner," Mitch teased.

She raised an eyebrow. Was he going to act normally after what a jerk he'd been? "But it's BYOB?"

She wasn't sure whether to expect a laugh or a smile, but she got neither, just a slow exhalation. "No, but the speeches improve with more than a lone complimentary glass of champagne. I'd offer you some, but..." he ran a hand through his long side bangs.

"It's probably not a good idea," Maria finished for him.

He nodded with a straight face. "I'm sorry about how everything went down. I never... no, that's a lie. Initially, I thought we could have fun together, but, it was a selfish bastard's mindset. You knew what you wanted and were open about that. I ignored that because I liked being with you."

Maria chewed her lip. Was his apology sincere or did he want something from her as her ex had?

He watched her with wide blue eyes. "I feel fucking terrible about it if it's any consolation."

She sensed the pain radiating from his voice. "A little."

His lips twitched slightly. "I'll let you enjoy your gift exchange and stop wasting your time."

"You're not wasting my time," Maria muttered, staring at the floor.

"Come again?"

She inhaled until air reached the base of her lungs, then met his gaze. "This is the longest conversation we've had that Shawn and Emma didn't referee or that hasn't ended in a shouting match since Friday."

"Why would you want it to continue with the way I've treated you?" he spoke softly.

She picked at the skin around her nails. "You're not just a guy I hang out with because I think you're charming and attractive. You're my friend. After my breakdowns, and our arguments about my ex, you had my back, no matter how ridiculous I was. I hate that I wrecked that." Maria turned away as her eye prickled with tears she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing.

"You didn't wreck it," he said quietly.

She waited for him to say more, to confess words she longed to hear, but he stayed silent.

"You're been blowing me off every day," she muttered. "Friends don't treat each other that way."

The bottles in the bag clinked together as Mitch shifted his stance. "I thought it would be easier for both of us to keep our distance, so I'd stop misleading you. I'm sorry if that made things worse."

She readjusted the bags cutting into the circulation on her arm. His gaze stayed on her, his lips down-turned and smaller than usual.

"I appreciate the apology."

"I know your ex made you believe his mistakes were your fault, but that's not what happened to us. This was on me." He tucked his hand in his pocket and wouldn't take his eyes off her. "We can still be friends if you're okay with being regular friends."

"I'd like that," she said, even though it was a gross under-exaggeration. She wouldn't only like it, she needed it.

His face broke into the first broad smile Maria had seen since Friday. She might have been projecting her desires, but it seemed full of true happiness, no cheeky or flirty vibes, just joy.

"Do regular friends still hug?" he asked.

Maria nodded, setting her gifts on the ground and launching into his arms the second his bag of booze clinked on the floor tiles. As he squeezed her tight, she was overcome with warmth, like the sun kissing her skin on the beach. The pain he'd caused her evaporated, leaving her relaxed and grinning into his chest.

She couldn't help but ask, "Is it weird that I missed this the most?"

"Not at all," he whispered and pulled her closer. There was no better feeling than this.

A minute later he drew away slightly, leaving one arm wrapped around her lower back, and bring his hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear. Her heart raced as his eyes met hers. Had their distance changed his mind about wanting her or a relationship?

"Maria," his voice was rough and gravelly, sending desire straight to her core. His palm rested on her face, tracing circles on her cheek.

"Yeah?"

He bit his lip before closing his eyes, his smile fading. Had she done something wrong? He dropped his arms from her sides and shook his head. "Shit, I'm sorry. Here I am apologizing for being an asshole, only to fuck with your heart again. I swear I didn't mean to. I'll get better at this friends thing, I promise. Give me some time."

Why couldn't he want her the way she longed for him? She forced a smile to overcome the pain in her chest. Nothing had changed; he was only being nicer about it.

He averted his gave to her presents. "What did you get everyone?"

Maybe if she focused on that, she would forget her desire for Mitch. "A cute apron and spices for Prae, booze and chocolate for Emma, and a calendar and chocolate for Tom."

Mitch laughed. "That's awesome. I love that Tom gets such a Dad gift."

She frowned. "He likes landscapes and photography. Do you think it'll offend him?"

"No, it's a thoughtful present. Better than the kick to the nuts I'm probably getting."

Maria pressed her lips together. Emma had suggested it after Maria crashed at her place Friday, but despite what he'd done, she couldn't forget how he'd helped her with her ex, gotten her a tutoring job, and genuinely cared about her. "I got you a card, but I wrote it before last Friday so it's probably too..."

He smiled. "I'm sure it's very sweet."

"My gift was going to be cooking you supper."

"Damn, I wish I deserved that," he joked with a sigh.

"It was more of a thank you supper for everything than... you know."

"It's better right now if we don't."

Maria nodded. He made a valid point, but that didn't console her much.

"If you haven't burned the card, I'd take it. If it's not too vain to ask."

"It's a 75% thank-you card with a hint of Christmas, so hopefully that's not too weird."

"I'm sure it's great."

She ducked inside to grab the gold envelope and handed it to him.

"Thanks, Maria." He ran his finger along the edges but didn't open it.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. It was likely Emma or Tom wondering where she was. "I should leave you to your Christmas Eve pre-gaming."

"I'll see you later. Have fun and thanks." He held up the card.

"You're welcome." She picked up her gifts and headed down to Tom's, her flip-flops slapping the floor. Her limbs tingled with unpleasant energy. Why did she keep thinking Mitch would like her as more than a friend? Why couldn't she accept his rejection and move on? Her traitorous body kept clinging to the hope of more. She would not let it win as she had with her ex. If Mitch said they were done, they were, no matter how much his actions confused her.

When she arrived at Tom's, he and Emma teased her for receiving the first text and being the last to arrive.

"Prae beat you here, and she doesn't even live in the building." Tom smiled from the couch, softening his words. Prae sat beside him and waved as instrumental Christmas music played from Tom's Bluetooth speakers. A warm gingerbread scent filled the room but it came from a candle instead of the cooking.

"I didn't have my gifts wrapped," Maria lied.

"We're just bugging you. Have a drink and relax." Emma gestured to the margaritas on the table. "The full one is yours." She lowered her voice, "If you're not up to going tonight, I can stay back with you. I'll make another pitcher of these."

Wallowing and isolating herself would only intensify these feelings. "I'll be okay, but thanks." Maria gave Emma a one-armed hug then plopped onto the couch next to Prae. Emma took the chair across from the nearly empty glass.

"So what should we expect at the school tonight, Prae? You're the only one who has been to a dinner like this before," Tom said.

"More speeches, your Western Christmas meal with turkey, cranberry sauce, potatoes, and stuffing, and karaoke."

The mention of karaoke brought images of Tina, her uncles, and Sunshine to mind. Maria smiled.

"No Thai food?" Tom asked.

"They'll be some," Prae answered.

"That's nice of them to go all out for us," Maria said. It wasn't quite what her family would serve at home, but she was looking forward to it. "I wish you had the day off with us tomorrow, Prae," she added.

"Yeah, it's not fair you have to work even though we're not there," Tom said.

Prae shrugged. "The students need to be supervised to write their exams, and it's not our holiday. We have the New Year together."

"Yes, cheers to New Year's in the North!" Emma raised her glass, and they all clinked them together.

The margarita was sugary with a nice strawberry flavour. "Thank you again for inviting us, Prae. I'm looking forward to it," Maria said. She pictured the green mountains, cool air, and warmth of sitting at a table of boisterous, bickering relatives. If she couldn't afford to go home to be with her family that she missed, celebrating with Prae's was the next best thing.

Prae smiled. "As are my family and I."

"Are we ready for gifts?" Tom asked, clutching his.

Emma crossed her legs. "Maria's hardly started her drink."

He ran his hands over his slacks, but Maria sensed he was anxious about time like he'd been in the past. "It's okay, I can multitask. We wouldn't want to get to dinner too late."

Tom smiled handed her a small black box with golden accents. He gave Prae and Emma theirs too. "I got everyone a similar gift, so you might as well open them together as to not spoil the surprise."

Maria dug inside to find a ribbon attached to a clear globe ornament with the words 'Thailand' on the outside. Inside was a photo of the four of them holding their flower arrangements during the Loy Krathong celebrations last month.

"Tom, these are beautiful, thank you!" Prae said.

"They're a little something to say thanks. These past few months have been wonderful because of you all."

"Sap," Emma coughed then thanked him.

"They're really sweet, thanks, Tom," Maria gave him a friendly side hug that he returned with none of the confusion of Mitch's actions. It made her appreciate Tom that much more. After tucking the ornament away safely, she handed her gifts to her friends and waited for them to dig through them.

Emma opened up a card of a sexy, shirtless Thai man winking. It was all in Thai, and Prae had mentioned it was a birthday card when Maria was picking it, but it was the picture that counted. Maria had made a tiny Santa hat to put on him. Emma laughed and set it out on the table. "Your card game is on point, Maria." When she pulled out the rum and chocolate, she grinned. "You know exactly what my heart desires. Thanks, girl." Emma stood to give her and Tom hugs.

Prae admired her polka-dot retro apron that looked more like a dress than an apron. "It's beautiful, but too much Maria, thank you."

Emma's eyes widened, and she leaned forward to whisper, "Bring that to Chiang Mai. Sakda will lose it if you wear that and nothing else."

Prae's cheeks were beet red. "And my parents will throw me out of the house."

Maria laughed. "Mine would too." She turned to a distracted Tom who'd torn the paper off his calendar and chocolate. He studied the pictures on the back. "Is the gift alright?"

"It's wonderful. I'm adding an entire list of new places to my travel plans for March. Are any of these spots near your parents' village?" He showed Prae the calendar, and she pointed to a few. Maria took his engrossment as a good sign.

Once Tom had tucked the present away, Prae picked up a box wrapped in gold paper with two hands. "Careful, it's heavy." She passed the gift to Maria, who, even with the warning, felt her grip falter for a second. Prae handed small bags to Tom and Emma. Maria unwrapped hers without tearing the paper to discover a rectangular box. Maria's jaw dropped. Inside was a mortar and pestle, so she wouldn't have to harass Prae anymore when she wanted to grind spices and herbs or make her own curry paste.

"Prae, thank you, although there's no way this fits our budget."

The Thai woman smiled. "I have my ways."

"I love it, thank you." Maria's finger traced the bumpy stone.

As he pulled out a small frame from a bag, Tom's eyes widened. "Wow, this is beautiful, Prae."

She bowed her head. "I'm glad you like it. It's Doi Inthanon, the highest peak in Thailand."

"Close to where you grew up?" Tom asked.

"Somewhat. I can talk to my father if we can arrange a visit there over the holidays."

"That'd be amazing!" He turned the frame so Maria could see the painting.

"That's stunning. Did you paint it?" she asked.

Prae nodded.

"Between Maria's cooking blog and Prae double threat with cooking and painting, I thinking I need a better special skill than mixing drinks." Emma sipped her margarita.

Tom laughed. "Yeah, we'll have to step it up."

"Your photography is pretty impressive," Maria said.

When he cocked his head and asked, "Really?", she nodded, eliciting a smile from his lips.

"The drinks are delicious, and the company is even better," Prae said.

"Absolutely, it's a blessing to have friends like you," Maria said and meant it. After everything with Mitch, knowing she had people who noticed and cared helped, like Emma sensing something was off and offering to hang back with her tonight, Tom eating lunch with her today and making her laugh to dull the blow of Mitch's actions, and Prae who checked in with her every morning.

"I'll drink to that." Emma held up her glass as they chorused in agreement.

Maria was unsure if it was the margarita or being surrounded by friends who cared about her, but warmth crept into her chest and left it lighter than it had since the weekend.