When Mitch woke in the morning, he had a splitting headache only made worse by the sunlight streaming through his blinds. Reflections came from an empty glass bottle lay sideways on the ground. At least yesterday was over, and it was a new year for him to be less of a screw-up.

Don't set the bar too high. You'll only be disappointed.

The light on his phone blinked. He popped an Advil and chugged a water bottle before reading the text. Maria's name made his heart race. Was she still mad at him or had an evening with her friends eased her apprehension?

Maria: I'm not sure how you're feeling about meeting up at the church. I'll be there, hangover and all. No pressure, just didn't want you to think I was bailing on you.

He massaged his temples to soothe the strain and exhaled in relief. Lately, he'd spent so much time with Maria, he'd forgotten what it was like to deal with his issues without her. His throbbing head was proof of which method was preferable.

Could he make it downtown to Assumption Cathedral without hurling? His uneasy stomach grumbled excitedly at the thought of sharing more market food with her. Back when she hardly left her room unless fighting with her ex, being dragged out, or going to church, he'd toured her around Wang Lang market and dragged her out of her stressed-out shell. Now maybe she would dissolve his problems as long as that text wasn't a polite gesture.

Maria: Whew, made it to the church. Stairs are the worst. I should have brought a bucket or barf bag. You must be sleeping in, so don't worry about my last message.

He chuckled at the misleading girl code. She messaged him twice because she wanted to see him. If he didn't show up at all, he'd be proving everyone right, including her, that he was an uncaring deadbeat. He should have left it at that and spared her the emotional confusion, but he couldn't pass up seeing her. This may be his last chance to hang out if Becca and Tom attacked his character again. Mitch might have apologized, but Becca still loathed him for good reason.

As the painkiller kicked in, he hopped in the shower and found something presentable. He was running too late to take anything but a cab, so he gave the man the address and hoped he'd arrive before the mass ended to surprise her.

Mitch stood outside the Romanesque church, digging his hands further into his pockets. Despite her invitation, those wooden doors and strong stone arches were meant for keeping people like him out. The last time he'd been in a 'houses of God' he'd carried out something far too heavy and precious, and that weight still hadn't left him. The fact that a so-called God had ended her life so young had erased what little faith Mitch had.

Before he could make a run for it, the doors opened, and he stood rooted on the spot, looking for Maria's glossy hair and curvy figure. He spotted some people she'd been with the last time he'd come. The best-dressed man in the group of Filipinos waved him over and smiled. Mitch surveyed the crowd for Maria. Not finding her, he figured they may be his best bet.

"Fancy seeing you here again," Jomari said from just past the cathedral's short steps. "Too bad you missed mass."

"I came to meet Maria. You didn't see her in there, did you?"

Jomari laughed. "Of course you did. She's chatting with the priest." Mitch tried to peer beyond the many people streaming out of the church's large arched doorway. It was still too busy inside to tell where she was, but a tall golden statue softened the intimidating brick building. "I think she said something about a vow of celibacy."

Mitch's eyes went wide. "What?"

Jomari chuckled, as did some others. "Couldn't resist, you look so serious."

Mitch craned his neck to see her as the crowd grew thinner.

"You can go inside. They keep this place open for tourists all day," a woman said.

He glimpsed Maria's long polka dot dress and her animated expression. As he stepped forward, images flashed before his eyes: a woman with long blonde hair, a shockingly frail frame, and pale skin dressed up with more makeup than she would have ever applied herself to brighten up her lifeless face.

He'd let her down in the worst way.

He returned to his initial spot. No need to disturb Maria.

"You won't burn up, I promise," Jomari teased.

Mitch nodded and swallowed, but the ground captured him like quick-drying cement.

"Maria," a woman next to Jomari hollered.

Maria turned and cocked her head to the side when she met Mitch's gaze. She waved him over, but he dismissed it and indicated he'd stay with the group. After speaking to the priest, she approached them. Mitch's chest became tight. She couldn't even finish her conversation because he was too messed up to walk into a church like a normal person.

"You're late, or maybe this is early for someone who never confirmed he was coming," she teased with a big smile.

A weight lifted from his chest as he grinned back at her. Hopefully, time with Emma and Prae had dulled Becca's words. She stumbled since her dress was a little too long, and Mitch reached out to steady her. Her cheeks turned pink, and she released his arm as soon as she kicked the dress out from under her sandal.

"I couldn't turn down the tasty market food," Mitch said even though it was a lie. It was her he couldn't resist.

"Can I show you something first?" Maria took his hand in her small, somewhat calloused one, and her eyes flickered to the church's interior. At least she felt comfortable enough to do that.

Mitch let out a slow breath. "Right now?" He wanted her to trust him again, but if approaching the church had brought up her face, he'd never survive entering it.

"Really Maria, a gorgeous man shows up unannounced to take you out, and you want to show him dusty religious relics? No wonder you're single, girl."

Mitch met Jomari's gaze, and he nodded in thanks. Jomari returned the gesture. If they were anywhere else, Mitch would have teased Maria for indulging his interest in history and gone along with it, but he didn't feel like getting into many reasons he wasn't fine in this setting.

"Maybe next time?" Mitch said, knowing the promise of another day together would probably overwhelm her natural curiosity. That would be future Mitch's problem. She smiled, and the tension in his shoulders subsided. At least she believed they'd hang out again.

He should keep his distance to protect her, but he cherished the cozy friendship. She pushed him, without meaning to, to own his ugly actions, and her presence usually made his worst pain dull. When he didn't have her around, his nights ended like last night.

Maria's eyes sparkled, and she nodded. "Did you have anything in mind for lunch?"

"I know this great new place at Wang Lang market."

"I swear you could find restaurants in the middle of the desert."

Mitch smiled. Probably not, but for her, he'd try. They left the churchyard and headed toward the water taxi pier, passing a Catholic private school and a fancy hotel. "How was your ladies' night?"

"Fun for us, less so for those subjected to way too many butchered late-2000s pop songs."

He laughed. "Sad I missed it."

Maria joined in his laughter. "Tag along next time, and you'll see you didn't miss anything."

"Next time, huh, so we're good after yesterday?"

She stopped walking in front of a fabric store with bright rolls hung from the walls, and her smile shrank. "Only if you tell me what we are to each other, no lies."

"We're friends."

She put her hands on her hips. "You're a friend who punches guys who dance with me."

"I won't let people insult you like that."

"And after the club, what was that?"

He fought the urge to tug at his collar as his chest muscles tensed. He was sober today and could tell her he wanted more than what they had, that her implication that they stop being friends yesterday had scared him half to death because he needed her in ways he was terrified to admit. But it wasn't healthy to be with someone because he hated being alone. Her last relationship was with a head case, and Mitch wasn't any better.

"I'd had a little to drink."

The pain in her eyes ripped a hole in his chest, and he turned away.

God damn it, Mitch! How hard is it to say 'I like you and want to see where that goes'? You didn't want to hurt her and you're doing just that. It's obvious she likes you back!

It might not be hard, but it was selfish as hell. She deserved more.

"I had too," she muttered like a defeated child.

His chest tightened again. Her downcast face made his heart ache. As they resumed walking, he took her hand in his and squeezed it. A small smile spread to her lips. He couldn't lose what they had, and perhaps they could keep it up without him screwing it up. "Maybe we can be flirty friends?"

"Was Becca a flirty friend?"

Mitch's mouth went dry. He wanted to say no, but the more he reflected, he realized they had always had a playful relationship that used to have boundaries he didn't dare cross until Sunshine announced she and Dan were moving to Canada. The news had shocked him and Becca enough that he'd invited her back to his place after the club and between kisses they'd agreed it would just be casual sex to dull the blow. Some weeks, she'd be waiting for him at the pool, lounging in a tiny bikini and a pair of heels she didn't need but knew he liked. Other weeks when Sun was pouring her stressed-out rants on him, he'd wait for Becca in her office in the gym when he knew it'd be empty. He'd thought it was a mutually beneficial arrangement until she started expecting more than that.

"I guess she was in the beginning."

Maria released his hand like it was made of broken glass.

"But you know I wouldn't do that to you."

She hugged her arms around her middle and gazed at the tall riverside hotels and condos. "Do I?"

"I swear, I won't do that to you or anyone ever again."

"Plenty of people tell me not to trust you."

He stopped walking. "Screw what they think. What do you think? That's all that matters."

Maria studied him for what felt like the longest minute of his life. He didn't deserve her trust, but if he had it, perhaps he wasn't as deplorable a person as everyone, himself included, believed he was.

"I like our friendship how it is now. Is that your idea of flirty friends?"

Mitch nodded. "We won't step over your boundaries."

She met his gaze for a second before darting her eyes away. "Am I your only flirty friend?"

"Yes."

Maria's grin sent a wave of happiness through him until the expression faded. "Will I be the only one?"

"Do you want to be?"

She chewed her lip. "Am I allowed to ask for that?"

"You can ask for whatever you want." His tone had lowered unintentionally.

His heart thundered in his chest as he waited for her inevitable question. She studied him without saying a word. Could he say yes if she asked for a proper relationship? She'd hinted at it in the past. If she wanted a future with him and trusted him enough to ask, perhaps it wasn't as selfish as he thought.

"Can I be your only flirty friend?"

His heart sunk, but he only had himself to blame for insisting on this friendship agreement. He had his opportunity to confess he wanted more, but if he'd gone for it, he would have been a greedy ass. She knew a relationship with him was a ticking time bomb. "Yes, if that's what you want."

"So no other women at all?"

"None."

"Why would you do that if this isn't even dating?"

"Because I know you've been hurt before, and I care about you. If that's what you need, I'll do it."

She leaned her head into his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his lower back. "I really like this flirty friends thing."

He put his arm around her shoulder. "Me too." He tensed, knowing what he had to say next, but he couldn't overlook it if he cared about what was best for her like he claimed. "Maria, I'll keep my promise, but I won't hold you that monogamous expectation."

She blinked a few times and frowned. "What?"

He gently massaged her far shoulder with his palm. "If you meet someone you think you have a shot at a future with, I want you to go for it. Don't feel bound by our agreement. I won't be upset with you."

"That doesn't seem fair to you."

"We're both getting what we want. You want to be the only woman in my life, and I want to be close to you without ruining your chances at love."

They continued walking down the narrowing streets as the fishy scent of the river grew stronger and the sun's strength intensified.

"Sometimes, I wish I was as carefree as you. It was hard to watch Adrian compare me to and pit me against the woman who used to be my best friend." She lifted her dress, so it didn't drag in a puddle.

"The guy was a monster. For the record, I have zero interest in Emma or Prae. Tom, on the other hand, I might fight you for," Mitch joked with a grin.

She pressed her head into his chest and laughed. The sound was infectious. "I knew deep down that was why you two never get along."

"What can I say, nothing is more attractive than a judgmental, clingy redhead."

Maria pulled away from him. "He has valid concerns because he cares."

"I imagine he thinks he's helping, and I'm just teasing you. If you're friends with Tom, you must have your reasons. I might not agree with them or like the guy much, but I know he's not out to manipulate you like your ex."

She withdrew her arm from around his waist and held his hand instead. "It's funny, for all the crap people talk about you being insensitive and selfish, you're far more generous than anyone is to you."

"Not as much as you."

"I'm selfish enough to ask you not to see other women."

"You're perceptive enough to recognize that's what you need and ask me for it upfront. You didn't make a demand or assume I'd do that then attack me for it afterward. I could have said no, but I didn't want to."

"Why?"

Because unlike every other person but Shawn, you see me for who I want to be, not what I'm trying to be. Because without you, I'd be lost.

"Because I respect that you're honest about it upfront, and more importantly, I like what we have."

As they reached the ticket station for the water taxi, Maria grinned. "So do I."