Rialoves2cook: Any fans of dal makhani out there? My fellow, awesome contestant, Sameeraskitchen was kind enough to recommend it, and I'm loving the thick, creamy curry paired with garlic naan bread. Thanks for the confidence boost, Sameera! I need it today, as I'm pretty sure the man I love has given up on us. It's a hard truth to swallow, but your support and this tasty meal are making it less horrid. Thank you!

#indianfood #dalmakhani #friendsrecommend #eatingmyfeelingsandtheytastefantastic

posted September 7th, 3:48 PM

***

After a week of culinary creations, Maria reviewed her contest posts with a heavy heart. Despite the flurry of activity and comments from her family, coworkers, and other contestants, the person whose opinion mattered the most to her had only liked one picture. So he was watching, but did he care? He'd yet to text her since she moved her possessions out of the apartment. She sighed.

Looking for a distraction, she scrolled through her newsfeed and grimaced at pictures Kelsey had posted of her and Adrian on the couch he and Maria used to share. A deep pain radiated through her chest. Hadn't they hurt her enough? Maria dropped the phone on her bed and marched to her dresser mirror to tear down the photo of Adrian, Kelsey, and her, taken the night Kelsey had introduced Maria to the band, and she'd first met the love of her life.

As Maria attempted to crumple the image, her phone chimed, and she froze. Was it him? She tossed the picture in the drawer instead. After settling onto her purple comforter, Maria grabbed her device and opened the message. It wasn't from him, but from another contest competitor she'd connected with this week.

Sameeraskitchen: Hey, your GA profile is pretty lit! What you're going through with your guy sounds rough, and he's missing out by staying away because you're so sweet and supportive to us. I've been there before if you need someone to talk to.

Maria held up the phone and smiled despite her forming tears. If other people recognized her suffering, why couldn't Adrian?

Rialoves2cook: Thanks, Sameera! I loved the naan bread video you posted and am super humbled you reached out. I'm sure you hear enough about him in my posts lol I know my family does.

Tina was ready to smack her on the arm anytime she moped or brought up Adrian more than once a day unless it was to bash him. Some days, her frustration at her broken life would overwhelm her, and she would.

Sameeraskitchen: If you want to vent, my inbox is open. I split with my guy after five years, and it was horrible. My parents blamed me for poisoning the relationship, and we fought constantly. Sometimes it's nice to get an outside perspective, or sometimes it's better to grab a bottle of rum and forget it altogether. No judgement!

Rialoves2cook: Haha! Yikes, sorry to hear that <3 I hope things are easier now. My family is celebrating and circling with 'I told you so's. I broke a promise I'd made to my guy during our last big fight. He's never convinced I love him, and I proved him right. I started the Gourmet Adventures competition to fix that.

Sameeraskitchen: Any luck?

Maria frowned and checked her posts again for any traces of Adrian, but no new ones appeared.

Rialovestocook: He liked one post but silence other than that.

Sameeraskitchen: Which one?

Rialoves2cook: The cheese pandesal recipe I did with my sister, which is weird because they never got along.

Sameeraskitchen: That video was hilarious! To be honest, you're the most upbeat and approachable in it. Maybe you've gotta focus on your happiness, get that life spark back, then see what happens with him.

Maria sighed and set down her phone. While massaging her temples, she racked her brain for things that made her happy, but only the time she spent with Adrian came to mind. Any fun she had with Tina devolved into an argument minutes later. Her parents were always on her case, and working with Felipe brought back memories of Kelsey standing in the restaurant, pretending she hadn't betrayed their friendship irreparably. Even cooking had lost its charm as she over-analyzed everything she did in failed attempts to please Adrian. Perhaps the competition wasn't the best way to win him back if that was possible. She brought the picture of him and Kelsey up on her screen. They beamed, and he had his arm around her shoulder. Maria closed her eyes to trap in her tears. When she opened them, there was a new notification.

Sameeraskitchen: Can't wait to see today's post!

Should Maria bother if Adrian either was not convinced or rarely watching? If by some miracle she won, she'd wander alone in Paris. She typed and erased a message a few times before she composed a reply. Dragging her heart through the mud was growing exhausting, as was hearing everyone's negative responses about her relationship with him.

Rialoves2cook: I'm not sure if I'll keep competing. I was only doing it for him.

Sameeraskitchen: WHAT?! Don't give up now! It doesn't matter why you started, you rock at this. Seriously, my BFF and I ADORE watching you and your family. You're so funny! If you need inspiration, check out this recipe, it's my mouthwatering comfort food. Hopefully, it'll help you get over your ex ghosting you.

A smile grew on Maria's lips, spreading warmth to her chest. Making the videos had been fun as she'd forgotten about her pain momentarily. It couldn't hurt to check the link. The website featured a brown lentil curry and a white drizzled topping. The butter and cream in the recipe would be terrible for her waistline, but her stomach rumbled louder than her brain. There was an Indian grocery store a block away, and her mom had a pressure cooker. After grabbing her purse, she flew out of the house before Tina could land a comment. Maybe she'd make it to day 30 of the competition.

***

"Are you sure there shouldn't be meat in here?" Rodrigo said as he sifted through his bowl of dal.

"It's a popular Indian vegetarian recipe a friend from the contest sent me."

Camilla smiled and ate another spoonful. "It's delicious, Ria, and good to see you making new friends."

She meant Maria seldom left the house if it wasn't for work or grocery shopping. While it was helping her chip away at her debt, it made the past week draining and depressing. She thought about reaching out to Adrian's mom. They had a close relationship, though she hadn't said a word to Maria since the breakup, so Maria assumed Kathy was upset with her over what happened. It would be nice when Sunshine moved back to Canada.

"Even if all you do is talk about that idiot," Tina added.

"Tina," Rodrigo grumbled. "Stop bringing him up."

Maria stirred her dal with her garlic naan, trying to imagine what Adrian's reaction would have been if they were still together.

"At least it sounded like you came to your senses," her sister said.

"It does?" Rodrigo asked.

When Maria looked up, everyone stared at her, and her appetite vanished. As her face grew hot, she escaped to the kitchen to package up leftovers for work tomorrow. She didn't want to believe that she and Adrian were truly over, but he hadn't given her much of another choice. He'd chosen Kelsey over her regardless of knowing how Maria felt about him.

Tucked away in the cupboard was a crystal plate Adrian had given to her family when they first met. Maria closed her eyes, transported to his mother's home.

She and Adrian filled the dish with thumbprint cookies, peanut roll, and homemade clodhoppers, their arms and hands brushing each other more often than the food. Her body trembled, a mess of nerves and excitement. 

"I'm excited to finally meet your parents. They must be amazing if they raised you."

Maria grinned despite the uneasiness in her gut. He wasn't their idea of an ideal partner. Nothing about him was traditionally 'successful' in their eyes. Not his career choice, his education path, or his relaxed lifestyle. But the reasons she adored him couldn't be measured in those ways. He made her feel like the centre of his universe, showering her in compliments, spoiling her with over-the-top dates, professing his love, unrivalled by any other, in front of his fans, friends, and family.

"They're old-school, so they might take a little while to warm up to you."

Adrian squeezed her hands. "If that happens, don't stress. It won't change how I feel about you. Nothing will ever change that."

Maria swallowed, unable to ease her dry mouth. He said that now, but it had bothered him it took four months to get this introduction and that she hid their relationship. His parents were open-minded and welcoming, so much so Maria and Kathy spent time together even without Adrian. He didn't understand that this meeting was a big deal for her. If it went poorly, would their relationship still be as strong?

She swung their encased hands back and forth. "You're the first guy I've had to introduce to them. I don't know how they'll react."

He beamed. "I still can't believe I'm the lucky one who gets you all to himself."

"My parents wouldn't let me date in high school."

Adrian's hands moved to her waist, and he pulled her close. "If I'd known you then, I would have found a way around it. The minute I saw you, I knew you were it. It's a good thing you spoke to me first, otherwise, I don't think I'd have strung two coherent sentences together."

Maria grinned. "You're so dramatic, but I love it."

He gazed deep into her eyes. "I'm serious. You're my foundation. I wake up every morning trying to find new ways to be worthy of your love. A world where we're apart isn't one I want to live in."

In her parents' kitchen, Maria released a shaky breath. How could things change so drastically in under three years? He had still been her reason for doing everything, but she'd stopped being his. Her phone vibrated in her pocket, but she ignored it, feeling too heavy to deal with the outside world. She didn't need sympathy or advice from her family or strangers. She wanted to cocoon herself in memories and forget her pain.

Later that evening when she opened the message, she had to rub her eyes to ensure they weren't deceiving her. Adrian had texted her.

Adrian: I found these. You might want them with the cold weather on the horizon.

He'd sent a photo of a pair of boots she lived in every fall that she must have forgotten to pack. She didn't know whether to rejoice or cry. Was he purging the apartment of her presence or thinking of her?

Maria: Thanks. I can pick them up this week after work. I wish summer hadn't ended so soon.

Adrian: No rush. I wish it'd lasted longer too.

Was he talking about summer? Had he thought she was alluding to their relationship since it had started in that season? Had he done the same? She shook her head. Memory lane was jumbling her logic. She'd try to keep the conversation light and going.

Maria: But think of your sweater collection waiting to be unleashed on the world.

Adrian: It's not the same as the warmth of the sun on your bare skin.

Why couldn't he say what he meant? She rapped her nails on her phone case. To hell with it. She could obscure her true meaning with these texts too.

Maria: Summer will always be my favourite season.

No response came for over half an agonizing hour. She had to upset the only conversation since she'd told him she was moving out. Damn her veiled forwardness. Did he think she was boring or hopeless? She needed an undo button for life, so she could fix this situation. She spent the time picking her cousin's brain about what it could meanwhile Sunshine humoured Maria's theories until her prep period was over and she had to teach his Thai students.

Maria's phone vibrated, now displaying a like and comment on her most recent post.

Anothertorturedsoul: Looks amazing!

Her heart doubled its pace. Adrian had publically supported her beyond a like. That had to mean something. Moments later, he replied to her awkward text about summer.

Adrian: Mine too.

She sighed and held the phone to her chest with a smile on her lips.