Song of the chapter - All Apologies by Nirvana

Making Amber laugh was the best feeling. We hadn't had a light moment for months, always fighting about something. Well, me always fighting, Amber would just take it. She never yelled at me or called me out. Part of me liked that, because she wasn't trying to control me. But I guess I was trying to control her.

Not this time. I was just trying to get her to open up to me again. I had spent the break thinking of ways to get her to let that damned guard down. She was so hesitant now, it made me nervous.

Nah, not nervous. I didn't get nervous. I guess it was more like edgy. I was having a hard time being patient with her, but I was doing it. As long as I saw progress I could keep going.

When she laughed at my fucked up story about Pete's last party fail, I knew I had made a crack in her walls. It was something, at least. I wanted to keep it going. I would have if I hadn't gotten that text from Pete to meet him in the hall before school started.

So I said, "Gotta go, see ya in first period," and waved as I left her standing in the quad. Leaving her wanting more, I hoped.

I caught up with Pete just to find out there was nothing going on.

"The fuck, man? I was busy and you yanked me here for nothing?"

Pete looked at me like I was stupid, "What's more important than your bros? Cause I know you don't have any hoes around here now!" He laughed and shoulder bumped Jeff.

"Right, all the hoes have moved on to you!" Jeff laughed and ruffled Pete's hair. Since when did Pete get all the girls? I had been MIA too long I guess.

"Whatever. Gotta get to class." I shrugged them off and turned to head towards English.

"Damn, he's more whipped now than he was when Amber was willing to be seen with him."

I turned back around menacingly to see Pete's fucking smirk. "The fuck you say?" I took a step closer to him. I knew I could knock that fucker out cold, like Scar had done to me. That would never be repeated.

"You heard me," Pete said under his breath, looking like he had more he wanted to say.

"Whoa, guys." Jeff stepped between us. "Dial down the testosterone. It isn't even eight-thirty. Too early for a suspension."

I took a step back, he was right. Pete had been a complete dick for a while now, but I didn't need a fight on my perfect record. Well, almost perfect. There was that one time in seventh grade...

"Fine." Pete interrupted my thoughts with his reply. Then he just turned to go back down the hallway.

Fuck, this was gonna be a long-ass day.

I got to class a minute after the bell, but my charm had already won over the teacher so my attendance record wasn't hurt by it. The guy that walked in after me didn't have the same luck. I decided to stay sitting in the back, as I had since Amber and I broke up, rather than get too close too fast. I figured giving her space was a good call on my part.

When I had left Amber earlier, she was smiling and laughing. But now, even from the back of the class, I could see that she had a different expression. She looked sad, almost depressed. Damn, what could have happened in ten minutes to do that to her?

Looks like an opportunity to make everything all better for her. And the timing couldn't have been better. I had just put her in a great mood, keeping things light. Now I could slide in and be her knight in shining armor, or something like that.

I waited until the bell rang to get her attention.

"Amber," I said gently, with my smile in place, "Are you okay?"

She looked up at me, surprised, "what? Um, yeah. Everything's fine."

I pulled my eyebrows together. Was she lying to me already? "You don't look fine."

"No, I'm good. Just...already tired I guess." She shrugged.

"Okay, if you're sure." I bent down a little so I could look right in her eyes.

"I am. Thanks for checking." She looked right back at me and smiled to reassure me. I guess that would be it for now.

"See ya later?" I said, making it clear that I wanted to.

"Maybe..." she said with a little laugh.

***

The day had dragged on and on. I found myself searching for Amber in the halls, even though none of our classes were anywhere close to each other. I was secretly hoping she might go out of her way to bump into me.

I was a whipped fuck.

Whatever, I didn't give a shit if I was. It didn't matter as long as  I ended up with Amber. That was end game, no other options. I needed to start thinking of this like a competition, get my head in the game to win. Playing things safe and easy wasn't going to cut it.

So after school, rather than meet up with the guys like usual, I waited near Amber's last class. I needed to create opportunities instead of waiting for them to happen.

Right on cue, she came around the corner and stopped the second she saw me standing there.

"Hey, Matt. This isn't your usual spot."

All ready calling me out, damn. "Nope." I decided to use her observation to my advantage, "I was waiting for you."

Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth fell open. "Oh, uh..."

Shit, I had made her nervous. "I was looking for you at lunch. Where'd you go?" I asked softly, taking a step closer to her. She had put her hair up in one of those crazy buns, and her outfit was different, kind of hippie or something. But she still looked pretty cute. I liked when she wore the body hugging stuff better.

"I ate with friends. We sit in the lot." Her eyes darted behind me as she spoke. I wondered what she was looking at, or who she was looking for.

"What friends of yours sit in the back lot?" I smirked. I didn't remember her hanging out with anyone over the last couple of months. I couldn't think of a single friend.

Suddenly she looked right at me, the kind of look I never saw on her face. "April. We sit in the back lot." Her voice held a challenge. She was daring me to say something about it.

Oh, that crazy bitch. My first instinct was to laugh, April? What the fuck was she thinking sitting in the back lot with her. Amber was gonna get herself killed. Before I acted on instinct, however, my brain kicked in and reminded me of my goal: to get her back. Laughing wouldn't get the job done.

"Right. I noticed that you and she were friends now." Sound understanding "How's that going?"

Ambers face softened, to my relief. "Good. She has been a great friend. I'm really lucky to have met her."

Shit. Amber was making the "no laughing" thing really hard. I pulled myself together, but decided to give her a gentle warning.

"Just be careful, alright?" I gave her a little smile, the kind that showed my tender side, "That crowd can be tough, even for me." Be vulnerable.

"Not really. They've all been sweet, totally accepting of me, which is more than I can say for the rest of the school."

My eyebrows shot up. What the hell was she talking about? Everyone accepted her. Didn't they?

"I'm not sure what you mean," I said, deciding to leave it at that. I didn't want to start a fight without a good reason.

And damn, I had never really had a good reason to start one. But it seemed like I had done that. A lot.

"It doesn't matter now." She shrugged off my confusion, "So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow in English."

"Or could I give you a ride home?" I needed more time to work on this.

"Oh, April takes me home now. In fact, I'm sure she's waiting for me. But we can walk to the lot, I guess." She looked less than excited about the idea.

This was gonna be harder than I thought.

"Hmmm, I don't park in the back lot, remember?" Really? When I have I ever parked there, except for Friday nights. And she didn't know about that.

"I know that!" She laughed, which was better than the scowl she just had. "April parked out front today!"

"Are you kidding?" What made that crazy bitch think she could park out front? The only idiot loser who tried that dick move was...

Scar.

Something clicked suddenly. I had a bad feeling that there was more going on with Amber and this April bitch than I knew. A really bad feeling. I just hoped it wasn't what I thought, because if Amber was having anything to do with Scar, that would be changing, fast.

I would make sure of it.

My girl needed to be protected from that ass. He was a problem that needed solving, I was the fucking solution.

I walked Amber to the lot, keeping my smile light and charming. I didn't want to alert her to the fire burning beneath the surface. I had to keep it in check with her near me. She was telling me about something she heard at lunch, but I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying. I was too busy keeping my eye out for Scar.

When we got to the lot, Amber started waving to someone. I turned to see who it was. Did I really need to? Of course it was April, with her pink tips and piercings. What a freak. Amber smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face. Seriously, I never made her smile like that. Then she hugged the crazy bitch. What the fuck?

"You ready, Doll?"

Doll? What the hell was going on? This bitch was already giving Amber a nickname?

"Yeah. Let's go." Amber replied. Then she turned back to me and waved a little girl kind of wave, wiggling her fingers at me. Not exactly the goodbye I was hoping for. A kiss on the cheek or a hug would have been better.

"Bye." I put up a hand, refusing to wiggle my fingers back. Was she fucking five?

This whole thing had left a bad taste in my mouth. I just wanted some kind of indication that she was open to me, willing to try. But I was getting the brush off, and that wasn't okay with me. I needed something else, something more reassuring.

I watched as Amber walked arm in arm with the crazy bitch all the way to the black Mustang. What a waste of money that had been. A fucking classic my ass. That car was junk, nothing like my Audi.

But what caught my eye wasn't the reconditioned car, or the gorgeous girl walking away from me. No, what caught my eye was the asshole in the black hoodie watching my girl walk across the lot. The asshole with the slightest hint of a smile. The fucking asshole who was looking at my girl like she was his entire world.

^^^^^

So, were you expecting that? Looks like Matt is still...Matt.

Please find the little magic star and tap it! Thanks so much!!!

Next up is Garrett. And let me say, you don't want to miss it. That is all. 😏

I LOVE Nirvana. I remember hearing them for the first time and thinking "what the hell is this?" And then completely falling in love with their sound. So this was Matt's effed up apology.

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