Song of the chapter - Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benetar

His hand felt warm, cradling mine as we drove to who knows where. I honestly didn't care where he was taking me, I was just glad that he was finally letting his guard down and allowing this to happen. Allowing us to happen. My fingers curled around his, holding on to the feeling that I had, now that we were together like this. Close, alone.

The shock I got on Monday when he came and sat next to me, almost touching me, was unreal. He had looked amazing, walking in dressed for court. His hair had been styled in that semi spike at the front, rather than just having run his fingers through it. He wore tailored dark brown pants, not a rip in sight, paired with a tan dress shirt. But what caused my mouth to go completely dry was the suit vest he wore, fitted and buttoned up, even hours later. My eyes had moved across his form all on their own, and then I was so embarrassed at how I had blatantly stared at him. I worried that he would avoid me after that, not wanting to get too close to the crazy girl stalking him.

But he came and sat down next to me, even allowing his leg to touch mine. I was a nervous wreck, worried that it would end badly as it had before. Then Garrett let his hand linger close to me, touching me gently. And I knew. He was okay, he wouldn't run away this time. So I relaxed and allowed his essence to seep into me, silently telling me that he was ready.

The week couldn't pass by fast enough. Each day moved slower than the day before, and I couldn't breathe waiting for Thursday night. It finally arrived, we were finally together, and it was more than I could have hoped for. We had hardly pulled away from my house and his hand was already wrapped around mine.

"Are we getting close?" I wondered out loud ten minutes into our drive.

I sensed Garrett smirk slightly, "Hmmm, maybe." Then he laughed a little.

"Wow! You are really being secretive about this!" I couldn't believe how strange it seemed, Garrett trying to be so cliche with this date. It seemed so unlike his personality. But I guess I was still getting to know his lighter side.

"What can I say. I just really want to see your reaction when we get there." This time he looked over to me and smiled, rather than smirked.

I could certainly get used to this side of Garrett.

A few minutes later we pulled into a parking lot of some kind of business office. Which was closed. Garrett parked his car and started to get out. I was confused to say the least, but I went ahead and got out of the car as well.

"Oh shit! Sorry! I should have come around and opened that for you," Garrett apologized.

"No, that's fine, I didn't expect you to," I reassured him.

Garrett walked over to me, closer than I thought he would, our height difference becoming even more clear as he looked down at me. He was mere inches from me, his body heat warm against my cheeks, my arms. My breathing became shallow, my entire being effected by him.

"That's what the guy's supposed to do, take care of the girl," he said quietly. "I'm just trying to get used to that role, with you."

I took in a breath, amazed at his confession. Where did this Garrett come from? I guess I needed to stop being so surprised each time he did something like that.

"So," I started, changing the topic to one more casual, "what is this place?" I looked around and didn't see anything that resembled a typical date location. In fact, there wasn't anything at all, just some kind of office that was dark for the night.

Garrett moved over to the trunk of the car, opening it and removed a blanket and a cooler. "Follow me and you'll see." He stuck his elbow out and I linked my arm through his, just as April and I were in the habit of walking now. Just like Garrett and I had walked for a split second when he took me to the Warehouse and told me about Lisa.

We walked silently back toward the street, coming to the curb and turning to walk around the building. Silently, but arm in arm, we walked up the street a few hundred feet. When a field came into view, Garrett unlinked our arms and grabbed my hand again, leading me into the field and guiding me over a few rocky sections.

"So, I used to come here all the time growing up. It's been years since I was able to come back, but I was here on Monday, after court, and I realized I wanted to bring you too," Garrett told me as he continued to lead me through the field of short grass and small rocks. Finally we came to a grassy clearing free from stones, and Garrett stopped. He put the cooler down and laid out the blanket. That's when I heard the sound of an engine overhead and looked up.

A small plane flew right over our heads, close enough that if it had been daylight I was sure I would have been able to see the pilots face. The plane continued forward, crossing over the field and the adjacent street. As my eyes followed its path, I realized there was a small airport on the other side of the street. I watched as the plane landed and rolled down the runway.

"I can't believe how close that plane was!" I said in surprise.

"I hope it's okay that I brought you here. I know it isn't that exciting, but it seemed unique. Plus, it has a special meaning to me," he added quietly at the end.

"No, it's fine! I like it," I told him with a smile. Garrett seemed to relax and gestured to the blanket, silently telling me to get comfortable. I sat down and made a spot next to me for him. He didn't hesitate to sit right next to me.

"It's not a major airport, so only a few planes will be landing, and they'll be far apart. But I kind of like the anticipation you get waiting for the next one to show up," Garrett explained.

"The only time I've ever watched a plane land was through a terminal window once when my family went on a trip to visit my grandparents. I like this better," I told him.

"Good. I'm glad." Garrett looked over at me, our eyes catching each other's. His gaze never ceased to cause a flutter of butterflies in my stomach. But that night it felt more like a herd of some sort, trampling every nerve in my body. The emotion he created was so overpowering, I had never felt a thing like it.

"How did you find this place?" I asked what I assumed was a casual question. But the immediate change in Garrett's demeanor told me otherwise. Suddenly he seemed tense and hesitant. I stayed quiet, as I had tried on other occasions when he reacted that way. Sooner than he had in the past, he gained control over whatever emotion he had been dealing with.

Garrett took a deep breath, steadied himself, and then turned to look back at me. "When I was a kid, our house was on the other side of this field." He turned behind us and pointed, opposite from the airport. "If my dad was wasted or acting irrationally, Lisa would bring me out here and we would watch the planes land."

He turned to look back over at the airport. "We came here a lot." Garrett shook his head, "Especially right before he died. He was really a mess." His hand went up and ran through his dark hair, darker in the limited lighting. "But when we were out here, life seemed okay."

I found myself moving closer to him, wanting to provide whatever support I could. Emotional, physical, whichever way he needed to feel that I was with him, behind him one hundred percent. He had been so broken in his life, the circumstances beating him down to the point that he pulled away from everyone. And now that he was finally opening up, I didn't want him to regret telling me these things.

"One time, we came out here and there was some kind of airshow going on. The field was packed with families watching old planes do all kinds of acrobatics in the air. I think it might be my best childhood memory."

Garrett smiled as he spoke. I reached over and took his hand in mine, smiling as well. Garrett opened his fingers and laced them with mine. Tingles immediately shot through my hand, all the way up my arm. The herd in my stomach was back in full force, but it was an amazing feeling.

There is something so intimate about that type of hold. Before, when we held hands, he had just wrapped his fingers around mine. That was such a comforting feeling, having his strength and warmth covering my delicate hand. I savored it. But this moment was different. Feeling our fingers laced together, and his thumb gently brushing the back of my hand was a different level of closeness.

"This is where I feel Lisa the most. This is where I remember her, not some graveyard," he said so quietly I almost didn't hear it. That statement caused me to inhale sharply. Garrett must have heard me, because his head turned to me, "Does it bother you if I talk about her?" he asked gently.

"No," I said thoughtfully, "But I guess I'm still always surprised when you do talk about her. I want to hear more, if you're ready to talk," I reassured him.

"There's more to her story. And it's pretty bad. I think April told you that my mom and I kind of went into hiding when she left with Brett. Mom was afraid he'd come after me again. My aunt, Nico's mom, always knew where we were though, just in case Lisa wanted to get in contact with us."

Rather than say anything, I just nodded my head. April had told me that. She had also said a couple years later, Lisa did come back, trying to leave Brett after taking his abuse for too long. I couldn't imagine what she'd had to endure.

"Lisa was pretty scared when she did come back, so we moved again, hoping to keep Brett from finding her. But he did, about eight months later, calling her and saying he was getting her back. Lisa freaked out, so in the middle of the night we left that town as well."

I gave Garrett's hand a gentle squeeze, continuing to give him support. I did already know most of this story, but sometimes letting a person speak about it out loud can help them work through the emotions. It had been buried deep inside Garrett for too long, and I wanted him to let it out.

He looked up at the dark sky, only a few stars visible that night, and blew out a breath. "He eventually found us again. We didn't realized he'd been following her for a few weeks, Lisa had a suspicion I think. She never said it, but I think she felt guilty for putting our family through so much, so she didn't say anything. She didn't want us to have to move again because of her."

This time Garrett took a shaky breath, and I knew the most difficult part of Lisa's story was next. "So, one night my mom took me shopping for new shoes. Lisa stayed at our place, studying for a class she was taking to finish her diploma. But when we got back to the house there were police and emergency trucks. She was dead already. He shot her in the driveway."

Garrett's voice was barely a whisper, shaking a bit as he told me about that night. "All I remember is crying. And my mom saying over and over, 'My baby, my baby.' The neighbor saw Brett driving away, and described him to the cops, not knowing that we knew this monster. He was caught the next day, but the fucking coward jumped bail before he could be convicted."

Garrett's whole body seemed to tense up. We were sitting close together, my shoulder touching his chest, our hands tangled together. I reached over with my free hand and put it on his heart. I felt him look down at me, but I kept my eyes on our intertwined hands, giving his a gentle squeeze. He returned the gesture with a squeeze of his own, then rested his forehead on the top of my head.

"Amber," he said quietly, causing my heart to race hearing my name on his lips, "there is something about you that just makes me want to tell you. Everything. I don't know what it is, but thank you for listening."

Before I could respond, Garrett pulled back slightly and started to lay down on the blanket, pulling me down next to him. "I wanted to bring you here because it's the one happy place I have. I want you to be a part of that, and I thought maybe we would start to make our own happy memories too."

Without worrying about it, or overthinking my actions, I automatically moved closer to him. Immediately, his arm went up, allowing me to lay right next to him, putting my head on his shoulder and my arm across his chest. His arm moved around my back, with his warm hand resting on the small of my back. And it was heaven.

***

Garrett and I lay together that way for quite a while, watching a few more planes land and snacking on the food he brought. For someone so closed off to others, Garrett had done a great job planning something simple yet meaningful for a first date. I was impressed with how he handled the intensity of the night.

Thankfully, things became lighter between us as the night went on, rather than heavier as they had started out. He told me more about the new project he and Nico were working on. And I told him something that no one knew. Not April, or even my parents. Until that night I had never even spoken it aloud.

"Speaking of our newest project," Garrett started, "I never thanked you for the painting you gave me. It's really amazing, you're very talented."

The night was coming to a close, Garrett had just pulled up to my house and we were still sitting in his car talking, hands in the tangle they had been in almost the entire time. I had never talked about painting, or any of the creative things I enjoyed. So the topic caused me a little anxiety.

"Thank you. I really like art, all kinds. It's a good stress relief," I answered. That was how I always explained my hobbies.

Garrett looked at me with an examining gaze. "Oh," was all he said. But the tone held deep meaning.

"What?" I asked him, now more nervous.

"Nothing. Well, it's just that someone with your talent has to view art as more than a stress relief."

Oh. Right. That. He'd figured it out. And I hadn't said a thing to him about what it truly meant to me.

I took a deep breath, deciding he was the right person to confess my secret to. "You're right. It is more. It's everything to me, but I'm not supposed to focus on those things because they won't bring success in life. So I study and get good grades, and apply to pre-law programs all over the country."

"But that's not what you want," Garrett said for me. And he was more right than he knew.

Without thinking more about my answer, I blurted out, "No." It wasn't what I wanted at all. But I had pushed my dreams down deep for a long time.

"And what is it that you do want?" he asked gently.

"I love art, and painting, expressing myself creatively. But what I've always wished I could do was cook. My dream since I was a little girl with an Eazy-bake oven was to be a chef."

It was scary to say out loud.

Garrett was quiet for a heartbeat, then he smiled. "Yeah, I can picture that. You in a kitchen with a long white apron and one of those crazy hats. That dinner you made us was really good. You could totally be a chef."

I found myself smiling back at him, seeing the image in my mind that he'd painted with words.

"So why don't you look into a culinary school?"

A simple question that had my heart up in my throat. I shook my head and looked down, away from his assessing eyes. "No. My parents wouldn't hear of it. They expect an academic career. They both have graduate degrees, there's no way they'd support me going to a cooking school."

"Have you talked to them about it?"

My eyes shot back to him, trying to decide if he  was judging me, seeing me as the coward I felt that I was. His eyes, however, held no judgement, only concern and compassion. I relaxed a bit, enough to answer his question.

"No. I figured I already knew their answer so why create all that drama."

Garrett turned toward me, facing me fully, and took both my hands in his. The feeling he gave me was one of safety and protection. I drank it in, not wanting my night with him to end. "Listen to me, Amber," once again chills ran down my arms as he said my name, "don't spend your life doing something you hate, because you're trying to hide who you really are."

Something told me that statement was as much for Garrett as it was for me. I quietly nodded my head, afraid to speak thinking my emotions would be too strong for either of us to handle. Garrett continued to look at me, his eyes burning with intensity. And then it was there. The electricity that had shown up so often between us. But now we were alone in his car, at the end of our first date. His hands were still gripping mine, now more intensely.

Our locked gaze broke as Garrett's eyes traveled down, stopping on my lips. My breath caught as I anticipated him leaning forward, once again touching his lips to mine. I could still feel them against my own when I thought back to the moment a few weeks ago. There was nothing I wanted more than to have that feeling again, only now it had multiplied by a billion. Garrett was still looking away from me, but his eyes had moved from my lips to my neck, then down to our joined hands. That's when I heard him let out a deep breath, and the moment was over. The electricity was gone.

Garrett pulled away slightly, "It's late. I don't want to keep you out too much longer. I should walk you to the door."

My heart sank. I really thought he was ready to kiss me, again. For real this time. I wondered what was holding him back, and for a moment considered just attacking him myself. But when he looked back at me, catching my eyes, there was something about the way he looked at me that said, be patient, it will happen. So I smiled at him, gathered my things and started to get out of the car.

"Wait." He stopped me. "Let me at least open the door for you," he added.

"Right. Okay." I smiled back at him. I knew this whole night had been a lot for Garrett. I needed to hold on to the fact that he was letting things move forward, and not get hung up on the speed things were going.

So he opened the door and walked me to the front porch. I turned back to him and put my arms around his neck, hugging him goodbye. And just like the night at the police station, he put his arms around my waist and held me close. Only this time it felt more natural, and held the meaning I'd been waiting for.

You're mine.

^^^^^

Well...I know some of you may be a bit irritated with me (cause of no kissing). I know I told you I'd deliver, AND I WILL. Promise.

There. How's that?

Kidding!!!! Next up is our boy G. He's got something up his sleeve that I can't wait for you to hear!

Love is a Battlefield seems to be this date.
Although TBH I also thought We Belong was a good choice... totally conflicted. But since they DIDN'T kiss, I went with Battlefield, cause yeah, she's fighting for patience here. LOL?? No? Kay, sorry. Just listen to this and maybe you'll feel better.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]