Trigger warning- Talking about rape

Everyone tenses.

"But not right now," he smiles. They relax again.

I shrug and tap Elijah's nose. He looks confused, but doesn't stop me. I do it again.

He chuckles. I raise an eyebrow, but he ignored it and bends over me. "Here, finish your breakfast. You must be hungry."

I nod and start eating, looking around the table. I look in awe at Owen and Ash, who's sitting on Owen's lap. He's giggling and Owen is smiling. He looks up, as if he felt my stare.

"I love your brother." I pout. "Awie! That hurts," I fake sniffle. He chuckles and draws his attention back to Ash.

Elijah's arms tighten around me and I look up at him. He smiles hesitantly. "I.. eh... wanted to say thank you," he whispers. I frown, not understanding.

He groans frustrated. "Ah, fuck. I'm not good with words. Eh... last night? For... calming me down after the nightmare?"

The light in his eyes fades, and he looks... embarrassed? I cup his face. "You don't have to thank me. You made me sleep. Without you, I would have been anxious all night and exhausted right now. So, thank you."

He nods, but I can tell he still doesn't feel comfortable. "I'm serious, Elijah." He hums,"I know. You don't laugh at me."

That's right. And good he knows.

"Well, then." He nods and looks up, at Jordan and Ethan. And now I have perfect view of his lips. Those soft, pink lips. He starts talking to them, and now they're moving. Oh my God, how can lips be so attractive?

I hear snickers and break out of my trance. They are talking about work, so I look at Owen and Ash. I pretend to look at Ash, but I'm actually looking at Owen. His lips are gorgeous, too. They're talking in a baby voice, and he's smiling.

I shift my eyes to Jordan's. He's talking in a business voice, but it's kind of... attractive. Oh no. Am I attracted to Elijah, Owen and Jordan?

I quickly wander my gaze to Aaron. But my eyes fall on his lips soon. And they look so soft. I want to touch them.

Shit.

Last, I look at Ethan. He's eating. Okay, eating isn't attractive, here I go. But sadly enough, it is when he does. He bites on his lip now and then, and I almost groan. 

I can't. I can't be attracted to all of them! 

I stand up and walk straight to my room. Elijah calls my name, so does Jordan, but I ignore them. I need to figure this out. 

Sitting down on my bed,  I think about it. So what I like their lips? It's not like I want to kiss them- Shit. I do. Just the thought of how their lips would feel on mine makes my stomach flip. And it makes me smile.

A knock on the door startles me, but I call it in. Aaron's head appears through the door. He smiles at me, but I see worry behind his eyes. "Hey," he smiles.

I motion he can come in and tap my bed. He sits down, the door is closed. "Hey. Are you okay? I saw you leaving without a word."

His tone is worried. But all I can do is stare at his lips. I mean, I stare. He waves in front of my eyes. I look up. "Scarlett? Are you okay? You seem... off."

I nod. "I'm okay. Just.. er... thinking. About stuff," I say, half the truth. He nods. "I understand. You've been through a lot. Let's just cuddle."

I nod and snuggle into his chest. He smiles and rocks me back and forth. He hums a song, and I close my eyes.

I always feel at ease with the guys, they make me feel happy. 

"Aaron?"

"Yes?"

"What do you feel when you're with me?"

And in two seconds, he's standing up and I'm still on my bed. His eyes are wide and he looks panicked. "W-why do you ask that?"

I shrug. I'm not telling him what I feel if he doesn't say what he feels. "Scarlett, why do you ask?" His tone is more urgent. "Just... to know?"

He closes his eyes in frustration. I don't know why he's frustrated. I do know it's because of me. But before I can say something, he storms off.

Okay?

I sigh and take a book from the huge shelve in the room I'm sleeping in. But I can't relax anymore. I feel the anxiety and fear seep into me. I tense and can't focus on anything but the fear of my Dad storming in.

They distract me. But now I'm alone, I can only think about it. How he looked at me, like I was nothing but a disgrace he was going to rape.

Tears sting in my ears as I wrap my arms around my knees. Why? Why why why? I only did what was right for Mom, only told her for her own good. Yeah, he lost her. But it's his own fault, not mine. And he didn't have the rights to try to rape me.

I feel myself starting to hyperventilate. No, stay calm. But I can't. Not when I'm wrapped in fear and none of the guys is here to soothe me. 

I stand up, but feel dizzy and fall down on my bed again. My breath picks up more rate. My phone.

Today, 10: 31 am I need som

My hands tremble too much to type and black spots cover my vision. Air. I need air. I close my eyes. Maybe sleep will help. I feel myself drift away.

Owen: ??? Today, 10: 32 am

Ethan: S, what do you mean? Today, 10:32  am

Elijah: Somethings wrong Today, 10: 32 am

Jordan: GO TF TO HER Today, 10: 33 am

Ethan: Omw Today, 10: 33 am

I hear the door open, but it's far away. I can't move my body, but I feel someone getting closer to me. I panic, but know I can't do anything. He's gonna rape me.

"Scarlett? Scarlett, open your fucking eyes!" someone yells.

Ethan?

I blink. He picks me up, and I immediately calm down. This person isn't Dad. It's Ethan, and he's taking care of me.

"Okay, sweetie, calm down those breaths for me. Yes, it's okay. Ethan is here, it's Ethan. No one's hurting you, okay?" I nod, and slowly get the control of my body back. So I clutch his collar in my hand.

He rubs my back. "Yeah, like that. You're doing so good, Scarlett, I'm proud of you. Just a little calmer and I'm happy."  I do my best for him. Why do I always faint when I'm with him? Yesterday, too. And he always takes care of me.

I'm calmed down.

But he doesn't move, just keeps soothing me and holding me in his arms. I look at him while he gives me his phone. "Text the guys you're okay. They were worried, because of your text."

I nod. "Password?" He grins. "Try two times eighteen." Okay?

"And does it have a real meaning?" He shrugs. "I just like the number," he says, but seems to have an inside joke.

I text the guys.

Today, 10: 48 am Scarlett is okay. She's typing rn :)

Loser J: Thank god Today, 10: 49 am

Loser E: What was wrong??? Today, 10: 49 am

Loser O: Can I come? Today, 10: 50 am

Loser O: I meant as in pass by Today, 10: 51 am

Loser A: Sure you did Today, 10: 51 am

Loser A: Scarlett, I'm sorry Today, 52: am

Loser A: I should have never left Today, 10: 52 am

Loser J: YOU LEFT HER ALONE???? Today, 10: 53 am

Loser A: ... maybe? Today, 10: 54 am

Loser J: FUCK OFF ISTG YOU KNEW Today, 10: 54 am

Loser A: LISTEN UP! Could we just do this in personal? Today, 10: 54 am

Loser J: Oh you count on it. Meet you OUTSIDE Today, 10: 55 am

 Today, 10: 55 am Please don't punch him

Loser J: I won't punch him, baby. My bullet will Today, 10: 56

Loser A: *gulp* Today, 10: 57 am

Today, 10: 57 am NO

I look at Ethan, who's smirking. "Aaron fucked up," he grins. "Is Jordan gonna kill him?" He shakes his head and slides his phone back in his pocket.

"Nah. Just some yelling," he shrugs. Thank God. I smile," Okay." But he frowns at me. "So why did Aaron leave? Was he mad at you?"

I shake my head. "No. I asked him what he felt when he's with me. Speaking of," I say and turn around. His eyes are wide, like Aaron's were.

"What do you feel when you're with me?" 

He stares at me. Is he speechless? "If I tell you, will you tell me?" I ask. He hesitantly nods, looking in my eyes. 

"I feel happy when I'm with you. With all of you. And I always smile when I see I have a text in the group chat. And just now," I say as I motion to the kitchen behind the wall. "I liked your lips. But it was weird, because I like all of your lips. Is that possible, Ethan?"

What I didn't expect was the smile that breaks through his face. He sighs, as if what I just told him relieves him.

"Yes, Scarlett. That is possible. And we feel it too." Really? My eyes widen. He looks deeply in my eyes, as if he's considering something.

Then, he leans a bit forward, hesitating a bit. I smile and cup his face. His eyes widen. "Are you trying to kiss me, Ethan?" I whisper. His mouth opens, but he doesn't say anything. Then, "What if I was?"

I smile. "That'd have been very approved by me."He looks hesitant, but then he closes his eyes and nods. 

And then he kisses me.

*************

heheheh

y'all, it was hard to decide who would be the first kiss. But aren't we all in love with Ethan?

x- N