Simone.

“I don't feel too good,” I peek into the phone, twerking my voice to sound low.

I can hear Beth's chuckle on the other end of the phone. “No, you're not getting out of this.”

My eyebrows furrow. “Are you sure there's nothing I can do?”

“Simone, not even on your deathbed,” Beth says, there's a voice in the background before she comes back to me. “I need to go, but I will see you soon.”

I nod and the line dies.

Once every two months, the neighborhood has this tradition of having a barbecue. The hosts alternate, and this time, it's at my house. If it were at someone else, I would have eluded going, but Beth's made it clear: I have to do this, and there's no getting out. Even when I feel like dying, even when I feel like I'm not ready to see her again.

Yesterday was like getting an electric shock when I saw her. She was so cold. I don't think she would be thrilled to see me, but this is all beyond me. She should be the one to not attend if she hates me that much.

So, I finish editing the last twenty-six pages of the YA fantasy book I'm working on. The author did a good job, except the characters are too bland; nothing is interesting with them besides magic. The romance is awesome, although I feel like they dragged it; maybe it's because book people are happier than I am.

When evening arrives, I grab the nearest mom jeans I can find, a brown sweater, and sandals. I look like a grandma, I know, but I do not have anyone to impress; I've done enough of impressing Zack over the years that I do not want to get out of my way to make people happy. They don't do that for me.

When the guests start arriving, everything is laid up in the front of my yard. I have stools and chairs outside, coolers with beer bottles, steak, chicken, and sausage are still marinating.

Beth comes through and takes over. She smiles at me and asks me to sit, grab a beer, and relax, and I do. Everything is going great to this point; everyone seems to be having fun except me. But I should be thankful; Abby is not here to make me a nervous wreck again. Maybe she decided not to come.

I wanted to ask Beth why her sister was not here because the twins were, but I didn't think it was appropriate. Once I let Beth know I might be interested in her sister, there's no coming back. I don't know how she would react; would she judge me or ask me to stay away from her sister?

I'm on my second beer when Zack settles next to me. He places a kiss on my cheek and I all but smile at him. He has changed into a white shirt and jeans; he does not look like a real estate agent. He just looks like a husband to a housewife from Virgin Creek. He looks like everything I want him to be half the time, but I know it's just the outer shell; the inside is much worse.

I'm on my third beer when Abby shows up in a cherry red top and black pants; she is laughing so loudly that it's hard not to notice her. I watch her interact with the people who knew her from the last housewarming dinner, but what catches my attention even more than her laughter is the woman on her arm. No, like their arms are hooked into each other.

Why does she look so familiar —

No fucking way!

I turn to Zack, my heart rising in my chest. “Isn't that your secretary?”

Zack's ears seem to perk up at the mention of that. He looks around, and when he finds where my gaze is, he stares for a while, his mouth slightly agape before he re-composes himself.

“Yeah, I didn't know she was friends with Beth's sister,” he says.

My fucking heart. This is wrong, all of it.

I shoot up and go into the house, Zack is right behind me. When he closes the door I turn around to glare at him.

“How dare she?”

“Simone.”

“How does she sleep with you and show you at my house?” Oh, fuck, that slipped off, didn't it?

Zack is silent; I'm not sure if I've rendered him speechless or just too shocked that I know his little secret.

“That's a big accusation, Simone.” His tone is warning me but I refuse to listen, not today.

“Oh, is it? How are you going to tell me that when you come home smelling like a woman every day? When I find lipstick marks on your shirts every time I do laundry? Oh, wait, how should I not accuse you when your dick flops right inside me? You've been getting sex somewhere, and it's her.”

My words are so bitter, they hurt me more to say them out loud but there's no going back now. The cat is out of the bag.

Zack shakes his head. “I refuse to do this with you.” He turns to leave.

“Yeah, run like you always do!” The door shuts behind me, and I sink into the couch. I Should stay here for a while. If I go back out there, I will make a damn scene and I'm not known for that. If there is something I learned from my mother is to let people think everything is perfect and hate each other behind closed doors.

I lose track of time, but when I step out, Abby is still with the secretary. She whispers something in her ear that makes the secretary laugh. My husband, my dear husband, is staring, and who knows what will happen at the end of this barbeque if they haven't already fucked in a bathroom?

I hate him so much right now, but I sit next to him. He looks at me, then exhales. He gives me a beer and I stay silent.

The rest of the evening is like a hallucination for me: I'm here, but I'm not here at the same time. Beth gives me a plate with veggies, steak, and chicken, and as delicious as it all looks, my appetite is nowhere near. So, I stare at my plate.

When I look up, people are saying goodbye and thanking us for throwing such a wonderful barbeque. I smile through it all.

When everyone leaves, I go into the shower, my mind is cloudy. I can't think straight but when I do, my mind keeps going back to Abby.

Is she fucking her too? Ooh, I hate that bitch. First, she takes my man, now she takes---

What is she to me?

I don't know but I know she is someone special.

When I step out of the shower, Zack is lying in bed. I stand in my window, the curtains drawn apart. I can't see anything in Abby's room; it's dark inside. But I don't care.

“Zack?”

“Mmh?”

“Come fuck me. Please.” I don't know what I'm doing, but I just need to shut the noise out. The thoughts, the feelings, all of it. I need to stop feeling.

“Simone,” Zack whispers behind me. I drop my towel without a word. “Baby.”

I swallow. “You can't do anything right, can you?”

“No,” he declines. “Not like this.”

“For fucks sake, Zack fuck me; I'm horny, and I'm your fucking wife!”

Zack doesn't say anything. I feel his hand on my shoulder, bending me over before I feel him inside me. I moan when he thrusts himself deeper. I'm not even wet and it's probably going to bruise me.

I can feel the frustration in his tongue when he kisses my lips and sueezes my breast. I feel the same way too, but we don't stop.

In the midst of all this, I watch as the silhouette behind Abby's window stands there, watching.

It's her.  She is watching me.

I grab Zack's hand and make him choke me softly. If Abby is watching, I will be sure to put on a show for her. I will make sure it's something she can never forget. I want to paint her mind with this image as she painted mine by bringing my husband's secretary to my house.

Does she know? Did she do it on purpose just to hurt me?

“Fuck babe!” I hear Zack groan behind me as he comes. He doesn't even bother to pull out and I don't bother with birth control because I can't have a baby either way. I feel his warm load inside me.

“Again,” I pant.

Abby is still watching.

++++

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NOMMY 🔥