"Listening to your heart is usually the right thing to do."

☆

As she pulls up outside of their house, Bay's mother exhales a sigh. She turns off the engine and looks over to Bay, who seemed to be all too eager to get out of the car. "Bay, just wait a minute." She rests an arm on him. It causes Bay to freeze in place before he slowly pulls the door closed.

He looks back it his mother, who is still gazing back at him, with an anxiousness in her gentle smile. "We should go in." Bay forces a smile back, trying his best to avoid the tension mounting in the car. Words about that moment hadn't been uttered between them since she had placed a hand upon his cheek. He knew it had to be addressed, but also didn't know where to begin. But it seemed that his mother was also feeling the same burden as she took the lead.

"That evening." She begins, removing her hand as she sees she has his attention. "I need to explain. It's not what you think..."

"Then what was it?" Bay interrupts. He could feel everything he had tried to suppress wanting to surface. "Is it because I said I had a boyfriend?"

His mother looks down at her hands. She twists the ring around her middle finger, trying to find the words. Knowing she needed to be honest. "Can I take you back a little further?" She questions, looking back at her son.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... there were things I had to endure before you children were born." She looks down at the hand with the ring once again, lightly brushing her fingertips over the skin of her other hand. Bay watches her actions, it causes him to silence, anticipating what she would say next. "My family growing up... my own parents were very strict. It was expected of me to meet someone who had the same beliefs and values and our family, our culture. A man from a good background." She stops her words. The lump in her throat, getting harder to swallow. "Your dad was not to my parent's standards. I mean, he had a good job but...."

"He's white." Bay finishes off the sentence, now gazing down at his own hands. His own skin hardly shows the tone of his mother's, unlike his siblings, with Gia looking the most like her and everyone else a total mix.

His mother nods. "I loved him. That's all that mattered to me, but I was made to choose, and I chose him. I cut ties with everything." She forces a smile. "Maybe I was blind and stupidly in love. I didn't consider what I was giving up. My family, my culture. My way of life."

Bay takes his mother's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You shouldn't have been made to choose."

"It's complicated. My mother is a very proud woman. Stubborn. I guess like me."

"And me."  Bay smiles, which causes them both to laugh. His mother cups his hand in hers.

"I always vowed I would never allow my children to be placed in a position where they felt they had to choose between family and their own life choices." She swallows hard. As she looks Bay in the eyes. "I am sorry I hit you. There is no excuse, and in a way it is because of what you said, but not what it means. Now I have taken a step back. It was a reflex action. A shock. I just want to protect you. I know none of you say it, but being born into a mixed-race family hasn't given you guys the easiest time.  I know Sim  is struggling, but he won't tell me, and Gia, she went through it too." She places her hands on Bay's face. Stroking his cheek with her thumb. "I was relieved you looked more like your father. I thought you would avoid any conflict, but then you tell me you're gay and something inside me snapped."  His mother stops talking. She lowers her hand, only to reach for her beg to find some tissues.

Bay doesn't speak straight away. Finding it hard to locate the words needed.  He had never realised how complex things had become in her mind. How much she had sacrificed, how much she worried about things out of her control. He rubs his hand along the cushioned pad which had been stuck against his stomach. He smiles at his mother. "It's ok mum. I got back up. We all got back up. And we continue to get back up every time.

She laughs a sigh of relief at his words. "Maybe it's time you stopped travelling across the other side of town to that school."

"No"

"But Bay, you got hurt by the person who was supposed to like you. You said he was your boyfriend..."

"Why should I leave?  I did nothing wrong and my exams are coming up.”

“But what if you get hurt again?”

“I have Archie. I've always had Archie. " Bay looks out of the front window into the distance. "I like him" He finds himself uttering as if he was not aware he was talking out loud. He looks back at his mother. "I think I love him."

Her eyes widen as her mouth subconsciously falls open before she snaps it back shut. All too aware that she didn't want history repeating itself. "Um... that's… that's lovely." She cautiously pats him on the knee. "Does he know or ... like males?" She raises an eyebrow in question.

Bay shakes his head as a small smile spreads across his face at his mother's reaction. "Sometimes I wonder if he does or if it's in my head." Bay emits a small laugh, the action causes a tiny pain to his stomach. "I feel like he cares for me more than what a friend would. I wonder if I'm like a brother to him, but then." Bay sighs. "I don't know."

"Well.... one thing I have learned in my chaotic life is that listening to your heart is usually the right thing to do. Your head only complicates things. Even though it didn't work out with me and your dad, I don't regret my decisions. He gave me you, your brother, and your sisters." She smiles warmly before turning towards the house. "Gia will be tearing her hair out in there with that rabble. Our hospital trip took long enough." She exits the car, leaving Bay in the quiet. He felt sore, bruised, tired. He felt hurt by what Mark had done, but he also felt relieved it was over between them. He didn't have to hide anymore. Not unless he wanted to.