The next day arrived bringing close to nothing for Pallavi Khuranna. She woke up, did her chores, went to office, came back home, played with her mobile, ate dinner, and slept. Of course she did the same things before, too. Just that now it felt like someone had put her on autopilot. There was no soul into it.

Moreover, Karan and Yash were often called to building 2 for work, leaving her completely alone in the cabin of building 1. She would visit the support team girls on the ground floor sometimes but that was it. At times, she would spend an entire day in the office without meeting anyone. She hated it. Now that she was alone, there was nothing to distract her from her depressing mind. The mind that troubled her with hundreds of questions. What was he doing right now? Were they having sex? How could he? But that was his right as a husband. What rituals they must be performing? And so on.

These thoughts would distract her from work and make her cry again and again. It was a vicious cycle.

During one of these empty days, she received a call from Adhvik.

“Hi, kaisi hai?”

His voice was like an engine stirring a still vehicle back to life. It induced an overwhelming feeling within her to the point where she could barely  let her voice past her throat. It mended her only to break her all over again.

“Ti-tik...” She uttered.

The whole conversation went down in a similar manner. Adhvik was doing all the talking— or rather complaining about his newly wedded wife and her family who hardly interacted with him. His words were a blur. It was as if someone had sucked the air out of her lungs, rendering her breathless. Almost as if she was struggling to emerge above water. Eventually she lied about being busy as a sorry excuse to end the call abruptly.

Breathe in, breathe out, Pallavi repeated, her chest rising and falling as it responded to her nasal breathing. She did that while raising her head to the ceiling until she felt she could breathe normally again. What even...? What had gotten into her? Was she not even in a mental state to talk to him anymore?

Fortunately, Pallavi was able to talk normally the second time around. Apparently he wanted to discuss his marriage problems despite her admitting that she didn't want to hear about it. But it was something personal that he could only share with his close people, including her.

“I... I can't perform, Pallavi.”

“What do you mean ‘you can't perform’?” Pallavi repeated in disbelief.

Something like this took courage to confess. “I'm not able to have sex with her. It just doesn't stay up.”

“What?!” Her brows furrowed. She lowered her voice, covering her mouth as she was standing outside the office. “But you were able to perform just fine with me three weeks ago. We did it twice that afternoon.”

What followed a long exhaustive discussion from all the why's to what should be done. Did Adhvik carry a bad luck meter with him or what? God didn't seem to have much mercy on him.

On the other hand, Pallavi's distant behaviour didn't went distant to some people around her.

“Here, take this,” Mrs Khuranna stopped Pallavi one time just as she was about to leave the door for office. She craned her neck behind, much to her annoyance and noticed her mother giving her an ayurvedic tablet.

“What's this for?” Pallavi asked, perplexed.

“Just a little something for the brain. You know with all that happened, it helps calm your mind.

“Um, thanks.” Pallavi took it reluctantly, finding the gesture both adorable and annoying. As if a mere tablet would cure her heartbreak. Her mother even advised to have the tablet for a few days.

*

It was chilling on December 23rd when Pallavi decided to go out for a walk wearing her black coat. Except she wasn't going for an evening walk but to a nearby commercial area to meet someone.

To meet Adhvik Dhawan.

Pallavi hugged herself from the slight drizzle as she waited for him near the Metro station. He just happened to be nearby so she took the rare chance to meet him. She thought she was ready but nothing prepared her when she saw a familiar lean figure staring in front of her. Her breath hitched in her throat.

“Adhvik...”

She walked towards him as someone who had been treding endlessly in an isolated desert for several months. She didn't know what she was doing. All she knew that the subject of her ongoing sorrow was physically present right in front of her eyes. Her Adhvik was here.

“Wh- what's the matter?”

“Adhi... Adhi...” She exhaled, her eyes brimming with tears. His appearance got bigger as she neared him. She took a step, then another and another...

And took him by her arms.

“Pal-?” Adhvik stood there numb as she hugged him tight, her shoulders shaking in the process. She sunk his presence into her being, burying her head to his neck.

Before long, Adhvik's own arms circled around her back in a vice-like grip, calling her name. He sunk his head on the back of her neck as a sob escaped his mouth, startling them both.

It was as if they had found an oasis at the end of the desert.

“I'm lost, Pallu. What should I do...?”

“Shh, it's okay. Everything will be alright, dear. I know it will.”

And then, Adhvik pulled himself way too suddenly as if she were a disease. She blinked back at him, torn.

“When I returned to my apartment, all I could remember was me and you. I could almost see you in that room,” His eyes were bloodshot when he looked at her. “It reeked of our memories.”

Pallavi could gaze at him no more as she turned to cover her breathless sobs. The rain continued to pour, witnessing a dreadful pair turning away from each other, crying their misery away. It was then she realized something.

She shouldn't have bothered to come.

It took a minute for them to sniff and rub their tears off their faces. They offered a watery smile, tittering at their pathetic states. “Look at us crying like this...”

“Yeah,” Adhvik replied, chuckling. It was only then they bothered to look around. Fortunately, not many trespassers were present to witness their heartfelt reunion. Not to mention their clothes that were starting to get wet. “Let's find a shade to stand first.”

Their conversation continued as they stood near the metro station. They discussed about Adhvik's problems. There were problems from the bride's side of the family but those were just normal adult ego issues. What bothered him the most that he and his wife spent fifteen days together in his hometown and although they performed foreplay, they were yet to have a proper penetrative sex.

“It was too much pressure afterwards. The possibility of failure was weighing heavily on me. The fact that she would be so disappointed in me for not performing a simple task. So I just came back here alone to have some peace.” He admitted, his shoulders drooping.

“But I don't understand,” Pallavi retorted, her brows furrowing. “You were able to have sex with me just fine, then why are you stressed with her? Is it because you don't know her well? Or you haven't bonded emotionally?”

“To be honest, I didn't feel excited to do things to her... the way I felt with you...” His voice grew smaller towards the end.

“Then why force yourself? What's the point of getting physical if you aren't feeling it?!” She snarled, gesturing with her hands. “You are just giving in to the peer pressure because one ought to perform during the wedding night na. Bullshit!”

“But it's been fifteen days now. Surely I would have fucked by now. Many of my friends did. Few even impregnated their woman. God, what if I'm unable to do that. Muje namard bulayegi wo.”

“Did she complain to you? No, right. And how can you be sure about all your friends not having any issues at all. It's not like you peeped into their bedrooms to check. Remember what your college friend said. It's not mandatory to have sex right after marriage. Every relationship goes with their own pace. You go with your own. Get to know Poonam first.”

Needless to say, it took some amount of motivational talk to set Adhvik's mind back on track. Atleast to some extent that is. Not that he wasn't aware about this but sometimes people needed to be told and encouraged by someone else. At first, Pallavi was hurting with the thought of Adhvik getting physical with someone else but now she just wanted him to go through it to see him happy. It was painful seeing him depressed like this.

The rain had long subsided by now. They walked together until they stopped by a stall to have chai. It was as they strolled did Pallavi notice a number of things. Noticed the lack of tease touching, lack of flirting or just a lack of indicative eye contact that would set her heart racing. Of course not being able to kiss and touch was another torture altogether. Even if she felt the rush as their bodies brushed sometimes, she had to extinguish that fire in her mind. Nothing was the same anymore.

Meanwhile, he was ranting about Poonam and her family but Pallavi was least interested in hearing that. Just how he and Poonam will get along was a mystery.

“You know once I had this crazy thought...” Pallavi spoke, ongoing with the same topic. She was hesitant to voice it out first but she knew she could share anything with him. “What if you sleep with me one more time to get your mojo back? Maybe then, you wouldn't suffer from performance stress.”

He scratched his head, “I thought about that too... but no, I don't want to take advantage of you like this... Make you emotional and betray her too.”

“I understand,” She side hugged him, giving a sad smile.

They stayed for some more time until they embraced and parted ways, wishing happy new year to one another. Throughout the whole meet, Pallavi was unable to share her grief of how his marriage had impacted her. Although she did tell him about how she told about him to her mother. Besides, he already had enough trouble on his plate. The least she could do was to avoid adding onto more misery.

* * *

“What's the matter now? Why are you crying?” Deepali asked when she noticed tears in her sister's eyes a day later. It was an everyday thing now.

“Nothing...”

Deepali knew what was bothering her so she rephrased her question. “Acha, then what are you thinking about?”

“How my life would be if I'd gotten married to him?” Pallavi admitted, staring into space. “I didn't think about this before but I can't help it now. If I knew it would be this painful without him then maybe I would have married him.”

Pallavi then showed Deepali some WhatsApp messages between her and Adhvik. She was asking what he was doing to which he replied that he was playing ludo with his wife. A few jokes ensued which garnered some laughter from both sides.

Haha, naach meri
bulbul.

Yeah, make her do
that naagin
naach you love.

Hahaaa!

I wish you were my
wife instead of her.

I'd have been happy
for a lifetime.

Reading that alone watered her eyes with a fresh bag of emotions. She wished that too. However...

I'd have never made
you sad.

I don't doubt that.

But I don't know if
I'd have been happy
for a lifetime.

Why?

Sure, I'd have been over
the moon. I'd have
very happy with
you but perhaps not
forever. 'Cause I wouldn't
been living the kind of
life I want I guess. I want
more Adhi. I can't help it.

I understand. I
wouldn't be able
to give that to you.

I wished for a bubbly
understanding girl like
you. I hope Poonam is
atleast 50% of you.
I'll be happy man.

You can't wish
for that Adhvik.
I don't know how
she is but she can't
be me. Neither the
other way around.

Who knows? Maybe
you'll find more about
her as the time goes.
Make her comfortable,
make her open up to you.
Share your worries too.
That's how you'll come
close.

I'm trying... Let's
see what happens.

* * *

Deepali facepalmed after seeing their chats. “What are you both doing? I told you not to contact him for sometime but no, you go and meet him instead!”

“He was so distressed, Deepali. He needed me, a friend.” Pallavi retorted.

“He needs her, not you!” Deepali pointed out harshly, making Pallavi cower in her presence. “Do you realize? You're stealing his wife's chance to be there for him. He's depending on you because you're letting him, plus he knows you. Of course he'll feel emotional when he talks to you. You're not the only one with feelings. You want to help him, right? Then stop being there for him. You're not his girlfriend anymore.”

Ignoring Pallavi's tears, she continued. “If you stop helping him, he'll have no one to go to but his wife. They will bond. Perhaps then his performance anxiety will go away... I know it's hard but you'll have to do it to get over him. You'll have to move on, Pallavi. Only then you can be his friend.”

The next to next day.

Pallavi was working as usual. Lina and Radhika paid a visit to Karan and Yash. Lina and Yash were flirting with each other right next to her seat, annoying Pallavi. She felt similar to Alia bhatt's character in Dear Zindagi who wanted to shout at them and any couple she saw. Not to mention how fast Yash seemed to move on from his breakup months ago, that too from someone in his office (although they were only seeing each other). She wished she could be this fast too.

“Geez, stop it Yash!” Lina whisper shouted to a smirking Yash who seemed to be pinching her somewhere. She turned to Pallavi, calling her name. “By the way, Pallavi, what you were doing day before yesterday? Were you meeting someone?”

Pallavi froze. “A- around evening?”

“Yeah.”

Please don't tell me she saw us hugging. Please don't tell she saw us crying. Oh God, why didn't I see her at all? What the—

Right around then, Karan exited his cabin to hear this interesting news. “Yes, who was he?”

“He?” Pallavi face fell then slowly turned her head to Lina. “Who did you see me with?“

“A man.”

“What were we doing?”

“Walking.”

Thank God! She wouldn't have imagined the extent of her embarrassment otherwise.

“Oho, mysterious man. I see you're moving on already,” Karan teased to which she rolled her eyes.

“He's just a friend.”

“Uh-huh, we believe you.” They said which made Pallavi bow down her head to the desk. This was no time to be linking up with Adhvik.

“He's married. We are just friends.”

“With a married man! Way to go!” Karan chimed, making her grunt for the second time.

She lowered her voice towards Karan so that no one else could hear. “He's the one who got married. The ex I told you about.”

Karan's eyes popped. “With your married ex? Chalo ye bhi sahi hai.”

“What is she saying, sir?”

Before Karan opened his big fat mouth, Pallavi beat him to it. “Just that he's a friend I told him about.” She whipped her head to him, gritting her teeth. “Don't go spilling out everything I say to others.”

But Karan found it hard to connect the words ‘ex’ and ‘friends’ together. When Yash and Lina left, he turned to Pallavi, his face devoid of laughter. “You shouldn't meet him, Pallavi. Not good for any of you. Cut all ties with him.”

She shot him a deadpanned look. Cut ties? Fat chance. A minute later, she added cooly. “I was kidding, by the way. He's just a married office friend I know.”

“I see.” Karan replied, not knowing whether he bought her lie or not.

* * *

Pallavi religiously abided by her sister's word by avoiding contact with Adhvik for the time being. It killed her from inside but she had to for their sake. On the brighter side, she was invited to attend the after- office Christmas Party by Karan and the support girls team. It was quite a party with rum cake, Christmas cookies, and other delicacies. They even decorated a Christmas tree Radhika had purchased. Although Pallavi wasn't in a mood to celebrate, she forced herself to. She was beginning to know the support team divas through the frequent lunches they had together in Karan's cabin. Once again her office saved her.

Then one fine day, Adhvik messaged.

‘Where are you
these days? How
are you?

By the way, I have
some good news.’

Followed by his call.

Adhvik rarely called in the morning when he knew she was in the office. It hardly mattered though since she was alone in the cabin today.

At first, Adhvik and Pallavi went on with their usual cussing and teasing. After that, Adhvik recited his story. His wife was still in his family's house and will stay there for two months. Such was the Hindu tradition. Until then, Adhvik was asked to visit his hometown on a weekly or bi-weekly basis so that Poonam wouldn't feel lonely. He was also told to look for a new bigger apartment so that both can live comfortably.

Initially, Adhvik was against visiting his hometown due to the sheer disappointment he felt but was coerced to visit upon family's pressure. Both Adhvik and Poonam went for a short outing. They talked and talked for quite a while which was unlike them. He asked how she was feeling at home, assuring her comfort. At night, Poonam finally plunged the courage to ask what was troubling him. She assumed he was in pain and that's why he was unable to have sex. Not wanting to reveal that she didn't excite him enough, he inadvertently agreed with her reasoning. He nearly broke down because of his incompetency but his wife comforted him not to shoulder his problem upon himself. That he wasn't alone. That they will face both of their problems together as that's what a husband and wife did. To care and support for lifetime.

Pallavi was appalled hearing that. She recalled a certain conversation from earlier with Deepali.

“I wonder if that witch will be able to take care of Adhvik,” Pallavi wondered with worry. “Although he's joyful, but he's also very negative at times. Also his health problems. He needs a strong emotional support...”

“Don't underestimate a woman, sis. We have an emotional availability and intelligence that's unlike men. We understand quite well. I'm sure she would be able to comfort and take care of him when the time comes.”

Back to Adhvik's story- they had an emotional moment and did some things but not sex. However that changed two days later, when Adhvik had a drink and was in the mood. The alcohol helped him relieve his nervousness a bit which eased him into performing that night. Since it was Poonam's first time, she wasn't able to take much pain and told him to stop. They even had a funny moment in the middle which made him laugh hysterically. Nonetheless he achieved what he thought he wouldn't be able to.

All hail to Deepali. Her advice of not contacting Adhvik actually worked wonders. It wasn't that he wasn't attracted to Poonam. He simply needed an emotional connect in order to connect physically. He already had that with Pallavi which was why they were able to copulate. And now it was almost the same with Poonam.

Pallavi was smiling ear to ear with water in her eyes. As a friend, Pallavi was extremely happy for him. As an ex- lover she was devastated envisioning him having sex with another woman. But she ignored that and focused on the happy part.

* * *

It was the end of January 2022. More than a month had passed since Adhvik's marriage. Pallavi's parents were still searching for a groom. Not much had changed since then, except she was more used to not having him around. From calling him every second day, their calls were reduced to once in every 7-10 days. It was better this way.

One day Pallavi received a WhatsApp message from an unknown number.

Hi, do you remember
me? I'm Umang. We
worked in Mansur,
remember.

This came as no surprise to Pallavi. She received multiple messages from people claiming to be from Mansur. Some she knew as her former teammates, some she didn't. She recalled one shady case where the guy expressed his wish to meet her and that he had her photos. This scared her and she sent his screenshots to Adhvik who claimed he was just trying to fool her. That stranger's message was as she quoted, ‘Meet me, I'll fulfill all your desires’. So she fulfilled her desire by blocking him. Henceforth, she was wary of receiving messages from Mansur people, except for Adhvik and Tulsi.

And who the hell was Umang, anyway?

I'm sorry but I don't remember you.
She flat out replied. This should put him off the hook.

Haha, understandable!
It's been years after all.
Actually I was just going
through my contacts
when I found your no
& thought I should ping u.

Remember the guy who
stayed for 15 days &
suddenly left Mansur.
Well, that's me.

His English was good unlike other peers, Pallavi thought. She read his second message and it hit her. There was indeed a guy who joined around the same time as Pallavi and Tulsi but left abruptly after two weeks. She recalled what followed after. Mr Tiwari asking if anyone had his other personal number. Adhvik denying to which Sai taunted about only having girl's numbers in his contacts. How this led to a argument due to which Adhvik avoided contacting the girls the next day.

If you readers still didn't recall, you can always go to chapter 10 again.

‘Wait’ Pallavi replied and sent him a photo of a samosa party in Mansur which had Pallavi, Umang, Tulsi and Ranjan posing together. She circled a lean fair looking boy with a mustache, wearing an ugly factory shirt.

Is this you?

Woah, you had this!
Yup, that's me. 😄

I recall you now. 😃
You're the one who
watched a few
K-drama shows & u
knew who BTS &
BlackPink were.

Yup, that was our
convo in a nutshell.

Are you still working
there?

No way! I left Mansur
6 months later.

Good job! 👍💯

I think you did a
better job in leaving
after 15 days.

I think we both did a
better job in leaving
that crappy place. It
was toxic.

The conversation went on as they talked about the atrocities of Mansur and what they were doing now. Currently, Umang was living in Lucknow with his parents, preparing for a government exam. They chatted for a little while catching up to the present. In the end, he shared his Instagram ID and suggested to message him there if she wished so.

Henceforth they followed each other. Pallavi stole a quick glance at his profile picture and soon forgot about it.

One day Pallavi was scrolling through Instagram as usual when she came across a picture Umang had posted recently. It was a side face of him sunkissed under a tree. The photo appeared good enough to check out his profile.

What she saw next blew her away.

There were several pictures of him first of all. But the person posing it wasn't the frail, clumsy Umang she saw three years ago. Instead the man in the pictures had more mass in his body, sported a cool set of casual clothes, and often wore a translucent pair of sunglasses. He had certainly gained weight from before. He still had a mustache though somehow it suited him. It accentuated a look of a lonesome gangster. What caught her however was the mysterious yet killer look in his eyes.

He looked hot.

Pallavi continued stalking his profile without liking a single picture. Many of his recent posts were of him surrounded by the vastness of the sand. The fact that he had been on a desert only intrigued her more. There were other pictures of him with friends, probably older pictures while some were simply mirror selfies.

She liked Umang's latest pictures, closed his profile and soon got back to work.

That night she had a dream of the ice capped mountains. But the dream itself was strange. You know the kind that left one scratching their heads on why they dreamt it in the first place.

Nonetheless, Pallavi carried on with her mundane life.

* * * * *

I'm at my second last chapter of this story. Atleast I hope so. I swear this is the last sad chapter you'll read. The next chapter is a hilarious one. You'll see. As for why this last scene was shown... it's a mystery 😇 Do comment your thoughts.

Thank you for reading.