Pallavi closed the door behind her once she was certain no one was around her. She held the phone to her ear, speaking to none other than Adhvik. It was the first midnight of January, 2020. “Ehehe... Happy new year, Adhi!”

“Happy new year to you, too, Pallu! 2020, huh? It's a new decade now.”

“Certainly is. Wonder how this year will go.”

Trust me Pallavi, you would be better off without knowing this. Enjoy it while you could.

She walked ahead the small gallery that lead to the double bed attached by a blanket under the dim golden lights. She sat on a black cushioned sofa and took a packet of milk powder amongst other packets of beverages. Apparently, her family was taking a small vacation on a resort in Ranthambhore which wasn't too far from their home. They had booked two rooms and she was in one of them with Deepali.

“I hope we get hitched this year... atleast one of us.”

“Uh, yeah, let's see...” Pallavi replied, lacking enthusiasm. Why did he had to mention marriage all of a sudden? She mentally prayed to God for both of them to remain unmarried this year. Evil, she knew.

They conversed on about their respective days that passed and supposed plans to meet each other again. Pallavi was keen on talking more but Adhvik was more interested in hitting the bed for the night. She reluctantly ended the call to called Saumya instead.

Pallavi and her family returned home after a lovely stay at the resort and a visit to the Ranthambhore National Park. Everyone resumed to their normal boring lives. Adhvik did his job while Pallavi took graphic designing classes, three times a week. It was certainly fun talking to people who shared a creative mindset and learning about it. An environment she wasn't exposed to in either of her previous jobs. She was supposed to meet Adhvik outside for a while after classes but couldn't make it. They made plans to watch a movie and fuck next time.

Unfortunately they couldn't make it. Neither for the movie, nor for sex.

Adhvik's stomach was acting upset again.

He took medicines to stop the pain as usual. Except the pain didn't end this time. Instead, it got worse with nausea and fatigue. Even going to the toilet became a painful business for him. At first, Pallavi was disappointed for not meeting him but then, she got worried. He consulted a doctor later on. With appropriate tests, he found out that a stone has been formed in his liver and that it needed to be surgically removed.

Pallavi always felt odd how frequent his stomach pain was. The last time was when they went to watch the movie. He had them ever since she met him in Mansur. The pain would last for days. Remember a Mansur episode when he took medicines and got high enough to play a staring game with Pallavi. If you do then congratulations, you have a sharp mind. It was partially his fault for not delving into it. If he had conducted those tests back then, he could have gotten rid of the stone with medicines alone.

Moreover, the doctor had asked him about the regularity of his smoking and drinking habits to which he replied honestly. Adhvik smoked one or two cigarettes every alternate day while he had alcohol twice or thrice a month. Though smoking could never be the sole reason, it could very well be one of the triggers that caused it.

“I don't get it. I mostly had one cigarette a day and my alcohol intake is even lesser. People in my office have way more than that for years and they are perfectly fine. I haven't even been smoking regularly this past month...” He complained to Pallavi on phone.

“Who know, they might face a problem later on. Its not like everyone will suffer at the same time. Moreover, this has been happening to you for a year, not just this month. Your stone has been forming and getting bigger since that time. If only you had these tests earlier on...”

“I did got checked a couple of times, okay,” He defended. “None of them suggested to get tested... Ah, I have been so fuckin' blind. This never occurred to me. I always thought I was getting a stomach ache due to something I ate outside or an uneven lifestyle... I guess everyone is different. Perhaps my body wasn't strong enough to defend itself through smoking.”

“Exactly. I used to warn you to not smoke but you never listened...” She grumbled but then sighed. “No use crying over spill milk. You just have to cure yourself first.”

“I know.” He drew out a tired sigh, his voice strained. “I have booked the tickets to my hometown. I'll go there and get this thing off my body. I can't take it anymore.”

“Okay, please take care of yourself then and tell me what happens.”

“Sure.”

Adhvik was able to reach home safely. Through their message exchange, Pallavi got to know that he would be going to the hospital tomorrow. She wished him to get well soon and told him to believe in God. It was almost as if she was saying it to herself. Adhvik would be alright.

At the end of the next day, she messaged him on WhatsApp.

So what did the
doctor tell you?
When will they
perform the operation?

(Two hours later)

Are you still in the
hospital?

(Next morning)

Are you there?

(Next to next day)

Hey! Hope you
are alright.

Adhvik...?

The last one was sent two days later from the first message. But no matter how many messages Pallavi sent, they were only met with a single tick mark. A. Single. Tick. She tried to call him but no avail. It went unanswered.

It was clear as day. Adhvik was not using his phone.

Panic settled at the pit of her stomach as Pallavi envisioned multiple scenarios in her head, going far off with the worst case ones. The lack of response only magnified her fears. She only hoped that he was still in the hospital getting the liver stone removed. At this hopeless point, she could only pray.

* * *

“Hey, what happened? Did you receive a reply yet?” Deepali asked after noticing her sister shedding tears.

“No. It's been six days, almost a week now and I have heard nothing. Not even a single word, Deep,” Pallavi confessed, distraught. “If only I knew something, I wouldn't have been bothered like this. I've never been this scared. I really hope he's okay.”

She tried to call him one more time. She didn't care whether one of his family members picked it up. She just wanted to know whether he was okay. She wanted to hear his voice. Hear something, anything. Instead, she was met with an automated voice about his phone being switched off. Tears pooled her eyes, blinding her vision.

“It's okay, sis. I'm sure he's in a hospital that's why he can't use his phone. He's getting healed. Think positively.” She assured as Pallavi sniffed.

“I hope so too. I really do,” There was nothing else she could do but wait. And while she waited, she also gnawed at the bitter feeling that something was wrong. Please God keep him safe. Please, please!

At the eight day, she received two messages. It was a forwarded one.

'Due to extrme weaknes
& jaundice, doc refused
to operte on me.
Said need to cure my
jaundice first.'

'Due to this condition
I was admtted to the
hospital. For now, I've
been discharged to rest
at home. I can'tattend
office.'

Pallavi's body sagged with immense relief that had accumulated for the past week though it was soon overcome by worry. Jaundice? Where did that come from? From the message itself, it was evident that it was meant to be sent at the office. He simply forwarded the message to her. She could tell how much he must have struggled just to type this message with his shaky fingers. Her heart felt heavy, envisioning what he must be going through.

'Thank God, you're
here Adhi. I was worried
to death thinking what
might have happened
to you. I didn't know you
had jaundice, too. This is
bad.

Can I call you?
Will you be able to
talk?

He didn't reply to her messages, though the blue ticks indicated that he read them. She added.

It's okay. Just take rest
& take lots of care of
yourself. Talk to me when
you're able to. I'm right here.
Get well soon. 💐✌🏼

* * *

“Hi... Pallavi.”

Pallavi let out breath she didn't realize she was holding. It was peacefully relieving to hear his voice after fifteen days since their last call. It didn't matter how weak or small his voice sounded. She simply needed an evidence of his life. She swallowed a lump in her throat, suppressing her tears. “Hi, Adhvik. How are you?”

Thereafter he explained his situation to her. Basically his health detoriated after he reached home. He was unable to eat anything as it caused him to vomit, was feverish, and his stool was of uneven color. He was nearly weakened to the point of unconsciousness. By the time he reached the hospital with his parents for check up, the doctor diagnosed him with jaundice and adviced to get hospitalized right away.

What followed the next day was something he wouldn't forget in his life. In order to inject food in his stomach, a nasogastric tube was inserted to his nostrils. The whole process was terrifying. It scared the living daylights out of him and his weeping mother. A glucose drip was attached to him. Injections and medicines were given to him to lower down the rate of bilirubin which was unusually high. Bilirubin was a compound that was released by the RBC cells . It was meant to excreted out of the body along with the toxins. Too much of it was what caused jaundice. This usually happened due to the inflammation in the liver.

Adhvik was admitted in the hospital for six days. He didn't recall much as he was nearly falling in and out the consciousness. He even showed a photo to Pallavi which she almost couldn't bear to see. He seemed more skinnier than before, his face pale while the sclera of his eye was yellow instead of white. They were all symptoms of jaundice. Although he was discharged from the hospital, his health was far from okay. He had to restrict himself to fluids for a few days, mostly drinking water, juices and coconut water.

“What about the stone removal operation from your liver?”

“Doc says they can't do it with my condition like this. I have to cure my jaundice first. For that I'll have to bring down the level of my bilirubin.” He sighed. “Hopefully I get cured in a week so I can this get rid of the stone and resume office. Don't worry about me, everything will be fine.”

Adhvik saying those words did boost her confidence in him. She assured him as well.

A week passed but there was little to no progress. He visited the doctor regularly to check his progress however, his bilirubin level remained stagnant. Eventually he was allowed to eat solid food but that was limited to few things as well. 

A few more days later came another revelation. His test results revealed that he was suffering from Hepatitis B. It was what caused jaundice in the first place. Pallavi had to Google the details. The symptoms were nearly the same as jaundice. Thankfully, he didn't have Hepatitis A or C as it was chronic and stayed with you for life. She checked its causes and was shocked by the results.

It revealed sexual transmission as one of the modes of transmission.

Pallavi's mind was reeling. The last time they had sex was at the end of November. Adhvik started experiencing the symptoms at January. Although he was experiencing stomach aches way before they started hooking up. Plus, they were always on protection. It was highly unlikely he got infected through sex because that would mean she caught it too. Just thinking about it brought shivers down her spine. She spent the next hour breezing through various articles and results on the internet. It took around 15- 40 days to experience its symptoms. If she would have caught Hepatitis B, she would have experienced it by now. She didn't. God was she lucky they didn't have sex in December. Her face dropped in disappointment. Will she ever have sex with him now? And if yes, then when? Argh, no, shut up, you stupid mind! This is not the time to be asking these questions.

After going through an extensive online research and discussion with Adhvik, they came to a satisfying conclusion.

Liver inflammation/ infection---› bileduct stones---› Jaundice---› Hepatitis B.

Pallavi was 99% certain that sex wasn't the cause of it. Everything started from the infection in liver which worsened enough for him to catch hepatitis B. 

“How are you feeling today?” Pallavi asked like she usually asked in every call these days.

Usually Adhvik replied with ‘feeling better’. Perhaps he didn't want the other person to worry about him but today he couldn't help it. He didn't know anything anymore. Except his life that turned around in a flash. It was February now. A whole month had passed since then. His health, his job, his life back in Faridabad... He wasn't sure whether he could return back there anymore, scaring Pallavi as well. What if his company didn't accept him because he was not around for a long time? Why was this happening to him? What did he do to deserve it? He asked her.

He had been confined to his room like a kidnapped person who was shackled with iron chains. He couldn't do what he wanted. He missed having normal food. He missed walking around like a healthy human being. He missed his office. He missed having a life he had before. He had forgotten what normal felt like. Everytime he visited the hospital, he only hoped for his bilirubin level to lower down, only for that hope to be crushed again and again. Like he wasn't allowed to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Will he ever get better?

“I'm scared, Pallavi,” His voice was brittle like a small child afraid of the dark. “I've never have been more scared in my life than this. What if I die? Who would look after Ma? She would be distraught. My family too. I hate to see them crying for me...”

“You are not going to die, idiot! I know this is not like a normal cold but this is not cancer either. I can't fanthom how hard it is for you but this won't last forever. You know they say happy times don't last forever but so do bad times. This is a tiring phase for you but a phase nonetheless. Please hold on until then. Just think about you and nothing else, okay dear,” Her voice was soft, reeling of warmth and affection.

“I pray to God for only one thing now...” His voice choked in the midst, startling Pallavi as well. Her chest tightened as she realized he was crying on the other side. “I- I just want my life back. I swear I won't touch a cigarette in my entire life again. I won't do anything rash. I just want it all back, no matter how pathetic I thought it was. It isn't. It's the biggest assest you have so ple-se... please...”

Pallavi covered her mouth to suppress her tears. Her heart heaved to see him this way even though she couldn't see him. The man who cracked the lamest jokes, who smiled despite the bumps in his life had lost his hope. If only she could embrace him tight and wipe all his worries away. She could do nothing except repeat those same comforting words again like a song on repeat.

Despite, she added, “It's okay, dear. It's okay to feel this way. Life is merciless at times. It steals away things that are important to us but we have to keep going. Because there will come a time when you'll be normal again. I know you will, we just can't see it yet. Until then, just keep fighting on. Don't look at your test results. Just keep kicking your sickness out of your way. Someday it will get sick of you enough to leave. Saale ko mar marke baga de, behanchod!”

Both of them chuckled at Pallavi's outburst at her last sentence.

Pallavi told him to call her anytime if he felt like talking. She tried to comfort him with her words as best as she could. She did that almost every single day. Either with her messages or with her voice. Later on, she talked to some online people and found out that jaundice usually lasted for one to three months. This included lowering levels of billirubin. This was why it was taking time to heal. She told him that. To stop worrying about office and other things. He could worry about those later on. His priority should be his health alone. She even suggested to pass more time with TV shows and games so he wouldn't feel bored to death (though he was already doing that).

“You don't realize but you are like my guardian angel right now.” Adhvik confessed a few days later. “Your words give me strength. No matter how much I complain with my depressing thoughts, you always find a way to pacify them. Thank you, Pallavi. You really are my...”

Wait for it.

Cue in some background music while we are at it.

Wait for it again.

“...best friend.”

What?!!! Her heart yelled in a meme silently asking if ‘am I a joke to you?’ to Adhvik and this cruel universe. She just got from being friend zoned to being best friend zoned. Would she ever be in the love zone with him?

“I'm really lucky to have you...” Adhvik was still expressing his gratitude. She blinked back to the harsh reality.

“I feel like you're giving me too much credit. I've done nothing much except talk to you. I can't even be physically there for you,” She said. It was strange how adverse situations like this brought the best in people. Normally Pallavi wouldn't be comforting someone this much. Hell, she never talked as sweetly with her family members too. Neither would Adhvik say all these things to Pallavi on normal circumstances.

A small desperate voice inside her broke out abruptly. She swallowed. “Can I say something?”

“Anything.”

“I miss you.”

It was like she could see his curled lips through his voice. “I miss you too, re.”

* * * *

Days passed by like flipping pages of a book. Pallavi continued on with her life, attending her graphic designing classes. She studied earnestly, scribbling down the notes in her book and designing graphics in photoshop. She seldomly participated in group discussions. Her batchmates were a bunch of fun loving people who came from different creative backgrounds and jobs. One of them worked in an animation studio for advertisements while the other worked for a online media that was similar to Scoopwhoop. It was like getting to know a different world altogether. One that didn't consist of documents and mechanics.

The other thing she loved was the location of her classes. It was in a building inside Cannaught place in Delhi. During her break time and after classes, she roamed around the place, eating from a different restaurant each time.

During her lunchtime, she called Adhvik while sitting in a French cafe that she fell in love with.

“Sorry I was attending classes when you called me. What's up? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I'm hanging there somehow.” And then Pallavi heard the most unexpected thing from his mouth. “Happy Valentine's Day, babe.”

Pallavi's heart skipped a beat. She checked the date. It was indeed 14th February. She did remember last night but it completely slipped her mind today. Oh, how the tables have turned. A small frown etched her face. “I'm surprised you remembered and wished me.”

Adhvik snorted. “How could I not, after what happened last time? I won't forget this. You badly wanted me to wish you, baby. You were being such a berserk that day.”

“And you were being a cold hearted ass.”

“Uh-huh and that's why I'm wishing you today. Happy Valentine's Day Pallavi.” He wished again, his voice smooth as silk that brought butterflies to her stomach. Again.

“Happy Valentine's Day to you, too.” Her Valentine's was already getting better than the last.

They had a short conversation about the latest happenstances. About her classes, about his health and the world. Pallavi was immensely relieved when she heard that his bilirubin level had lowered down from his usual 2.5 mg to 2.0 mg. It was a slight change but atleast it dropped down. He had to lower it down to 1.5 mg to cure his jaundice. They also mentioned the alarming news of an unknown Corona virus that was spreading like wildfire in China and parts of Europe.

Somewhere along their conversation reverted back to Valentine's Day again. More like Adhvik teasing Pallavi about it.

“Ah, fuck you! You should be apologizing to me instead. You made me so upset that day,” Pallavi complained, pouting.

“Yeah, I did trouble you, didn't I? I never realised that time. I'm sorry,” Adhvik apologized, startling her as well. “Perhaps thats why I'm suffering now. Because I broke your heart.”

“What, no?! Don't say that. It's okay. So much has happened between us since then. See, you even wished me today. That was all in the past. It  hardly matters now,” Pallavi replied enthusiastically.

There was a pause from the other side. A chuckle escaped his lips and then he said something that almost made her heart froze for a split moment in time.

“You really are crazy about me, aren't you, Pallavi Khuranna?”

“Aree, heh, aisa kuch bhi nhi hai (nothing like that)!” Heat rose up her cheeks and the words flew out of her mouth without thinking. Almost as if she wanted to defend herself from exposing naked.

“Do you like me?”

“No!” She snapped but then stopped herself. “I mean I- I'm getting late for my class. Gosh, look at the time. I wasted my lunch talking to you. I must go.”

He chuckled yet again. As if he didn't believe a word she said. Was he that aware of her feelings now? Blame that impromptu confession from last time they met. “Yeah whatever you say, dalli. Bye.”

“Bye, take care.” And she cut the call, her chest relaxing as she did. She slapped her hand against her forehead in regret. Idiot Pallavi, she just couldn't say it.

* * * *

I'm sure you must be frustrated slightly. But no worries, next chapter will resolve that. What? Did I slip something? Lolol... Thoughts about this chapter? I hope I got all the disease details right.

Look forward to the next chapter... Especially the next chapter after that 😍😍