2011.

Love. Ishq. Pyaar.

Those were the words Pallavi Khuranna grew up with. From watching Bollywood masalas to reading Mills and Boons novels, she was sucked into their worlds, yet experienced none of it. Of course we were not talking about the love of parents. That's a different story altogether.

Pallavi actually loathed romance at first. It had to do with many overdramatic, over- the- top Bollywood flicks and serials. If this was how love was like, then I'm better off single, was her thought back then. Until she came across a gem that changed her perspective to the alphabet.

Not a person but a show. A Korean show.

She only happened to see a drama because her friend recommended. It was still over the top at some points, but it was strangely realistic and cute, too. What she liked was the slow development of not only the bond between two people, but themselves as individuals. Two people who fell in love, while growing with one another. And let's be real, some scene even got her jumping off the seat with excitement.

Most of the school friends she was with, were single. And even if few of them were committed, they never felt the need to tell her. Quite contrary to school, however since she started living in the hostel, she had been seeing girls glued to their phones late night. She thought about them and her roommate, Aradhana. What did these girls have that she didn't? Was it because of her shapeless figure? Her lack of charisma? And why the fuck did she had to study in a girls college of all places?

As for her other roommate, Saumya, she couldn't care less. She didn't care if she had a boyfriend or not. What was necessary however, was to live her college life to the fullest and do well in her academics.

Later in college, Pallavi added novels to her treasure trove. Indian novels. International novels. Even fan fictions. She started out with cliches, before branching off to mature ones. While many hostel girls were glued to their phones late night- Pallavi laid on her bed, lost in the world of Prince charming, unbelievably handsome CEO's and cute school nerds. In her dream lands, she was a protagonist living different kinds of romance in different timelines. At times, she would envision meeting a cute, avid reader with whom she could dive into the fictional world together. At other times, a handsome chef who would make all kinds of cuisine to fill her happy stomach to heaven. Or perhaps a tourist with whom she could travel the Seven wonders together.

But, no!

Instead she was destined to be a third- wheeler between a pair of newly love birds. First it was between Aradhana and her boyfriend. Now it was Saumya with her boyfriend. Yes, that same girl from chapter one, who was indifferent towards love. She said she didn't need love but love came chasing after her in the form of an ex- classmate from school. He met her when she went to her hometown. She tried to lure him away but the more she got away, the more he chased after her. Turns out, he had been harbouring feelings for five years. An ex- fucking classmate from tenth. He impressed her until she melted like a puddle in cream and accepted his proposal, without doing anything. I repeat, without doing anything at all!

Aakir kaha se aate hai ye log.

(From where do these people come from?)

Not only poor Pallavi had to accompany Saumya on her first date, but she also had to bear watching their stolen glances and shy smiles. You know the sort where the boy would look curiously until the targeted girl was forced to look away, blushing. Time and time again, Pallavi was forced to witness something she didn't have. Oh, the bloody torture!

And now they were holding hands under the table. Great, just great!

'If only the end of the world became sooner in 2012,' she thought.

"Hey, Pallavi," Saumya's boyfriend called, diverting her attention from the cheese, almost dripping off from the edge of the pizza. "I know you must be feeling bored, but I wanted you to know that we are very glad you're here. Thanks for the pep talk back then. You saved our relationship there."

Pallavi remembered the time when she talked to Saumya's boyfriend, to sort out a fight that almost had their newfound relationship in splits. Same situation with Aradhana's boyfriend one time. It just that their boyfriends happened to have Pallavi's number so whenever their girlfriends didn't pick up, they would call her instead. Yup, she became the uncalled cupid.

"Ah, it's okay, I-" she struggled to form words when the liquid cheese was dripping off. She kept the piece on the plate before it could stain her jeans. She so wanted to lick that shit. "I didn't do anything that remarkable, actually. As long as everyone's happy."

Despite the emptiness in Pallavi's heart, she kept a straight face (or atleast tried to) in front of people. Despite her jealousy, she wanted nothing more than them to be happy. She hated it when she saw Saumya sad which was like forcing tears out of a stone. Which was why she talked to his boyfriend herself. It's wasn't like she was going to live off with the hashtag of 'forever single'.

Or, was she?

Time passed.

"Saurabh!" Pallavi called, rushing onto him and hugged him before Aradhana could. She was seeing him for the fifth time now.

"You do remember that's my boyfriend, right?" Aradhana enquired with a raised brow but then broke off with a smile.

"Yes, I'm perfectly aware he's my Jiju. Riiight?" She blinked her eyes innocently.

"Absolutely! And stop harassing my saali. She's innocent." Saurabh scolded, wrapping a protective arm around Pallavi.

"Innocent?" Aradhana let out a huff. "Calling her innocent would be a gigantic insult to all the pure souls out there. Only I know the heinous side behind that innocent face."

"Heinous side? Do you mean you two have-"

"No!" Both the girls denied together.

"But I didn't even finish the sentence."

"Because we know what you were about to say. Pallavi, let's buy the tickets before this pervert pollutes his mind further," Aradhana ordered. Pallavi diligently followed after her.

Now Pallavi was the kind who was usually very shy towards people but once she got to know them and vice versa, she would willingly become an open book to them. One such person was Aradhana. Even though, she was close to both Aradhana and Saumya, she grew slightly more close to Aradhana. While Aradhana took on the role of a 'big sister' looking after Pallavi, or rather getting her disciplined. Aradhana taught her how to sweep the floor, arrange her cupboard, wash utensils, make fried rice- basic household chores that Pallavi wasn't aware of. Yes, she was a spoilt child. They even end up fighting because of this but deep down- like deep- in- the- well down- Pallavi was grateful for having Aradhana by her side. There was just something real and genuine about her that made Pallavi trust her with her life.

Her boyfriend was somewhat similar in that aspect. There was a difference in acting cool and being one. Saurabh fell into the latter. He was reserved, serious and cool to the outside world but friendly, funny and kind in his world. He had a lazy voice which was in contrast to his otherwise, slightly bulky body. Pallavi's first proper conversation with him traced back to Diwali, the second time when she traveled with them in the bus. She was indeed a silent cupid. In order to avoid becoming a kebab ki haddi between them, she made sure to sit in the front and let them have the back seat to themselves. She even plugged her headphones on, which blocked their conversation from reaching her ears. She patted herself for being so noble. Someone please give her a noble prize already.

It was during lunch, when the bus stopped midway at a restaurant. Saurabh point blank asked why she didn't interact with him at all. Why she pretended as if they didn't exist? Just because he was someone else's boyfriend didn't mean he was prohibited from talking by all the female population. Even Aradhana pointed out the same.

Pallavi felt vulnerable. Like she was being interrogated. Yes, they had a point, but she didn't know how to present herself without sounding like a fool. She rarely had a male friend in her life. Sure she made two male friends back in tuition but their friendship fell apart after they graduated. Not to mention that half of her educational life was spent in a girl's school. Now she wanted a boyfriend but she was very alien to having a normal face-to-face conversation with a boy. Can you blame her?

Maybe Saurabh sensed her discomfort. Maybe Aradhana told him something, she didn't know. What she did know that she wasn't left out on the remainder of the journey. They included her in their conversation. Made her feel she was there, too. Gradually, she began warming up with each bus journey. She especially liked when Saurabh brought noodles for her. He remembered what she liked and you know food was a way to a girl's heart. Gradually, she was able to speak more than one sentence. Sometimes they would make fun of Aradhana together, just to see her angry. Saurabh and Pallavi weren't the best of friends. They didn't even meet that often, but when they met, they had a good time.

To Pallavi, Saurabh and Aradhana's relationship was perfect (if you excluded a few arguments they had over Saurabh ignoring her calls).

But relationships were never perfect.

And Pallavi had to witness that, the easy way.

As years passed by, relationships began to crumble before her. She stood at the sidelines as she saw those very hostel girls crying and getting frustrated over their boyfriends. Some cheated, some were ignored, while some left knowing it was something their parents wouldn't approve of. There was one quirky girl in her class who wanted to break up with her boyfriend, as she couldn't take his obssessive nature anymore. Her asshole boyfriend instead blackmailed that he'll release obscene photos of theirs on social media if she did. There was another case she heard where the boyfriend was often abusive. It was a cruel world.

As a result, Pallavi's group of friends ranted about their relationships one evening. All of them (except dear Pallavi) were or had been in a relationship. They poured out their frustrations, probably the way Kartik Aryan did in the movie Pyaar ka Punchnama. That was the first time Pallavi began to hate the idea of being in a relationship. Even though, she felt odd for not relating to anything that those girls said, she considered herself lucky. Lucky to be single and free from the unnecessary drama in her life.

Only for a while though.

"I still want to have a boyfriend." Pallavi confessed a few days later.

Aradhana raised a sceptical brow at her. They were on their way to the hostel from the grocery store. "Despite the heartache?"

"Despite the heartache."

"Masochist."

Pallavi shook her head. "It's not like I want to experience those things. No sane person wants to. I just want to know how it feels like to be in love. I want to hold his hand, comfort him in need. In turn, I want him to hug me so tight. I want us to go on dates, movies and restaurants. I want us to laugh. I want us to understand each other. I want experience that first kiss and all that passionate make outs. Above all, I want to know how much it feels when a guy whom I love says I love you too, Pallavi."

She continued on after a pause. "You people have already experienced it, alongwith its consequences, which is why you don't feel the need to experience it again. I'm sure I'd feel the same if I were you and I'm sure You would have repeated the same words as me, had you been single. I know I'll get married. I know I'll eventually experience everything I just mentioned but... but I don't want to waste this youth. I want to remember things by when I look backi in my thirties. I want to marry my love, not an acquaintance."

Aradhana was speechless for a while. Sometimes Pallavi said things in a way like she already experienced them before. She even wrote one liners and poems on love like she had been through all. No one could imagine those poems were written by a person who didn't even have a real male friend, forget boyfriend. It was like her heart was pouring out due to lack of experience.

Aradhana let out a sigh, "You know what you're experiencing right now, walking with a friend late night towards hostel... That's youth as well."

* * *

Between endless lectures, movie nights, maggie nights, semester exams and festivities, Pallavi completed four years of her college. She was twenty one years old. She remained single throughout, although the mighty guy upstairs did pay heed to her wish by twenty percent. A crush on someone through Facebook. Or rather Saurabh's friend.

It didn't last long though. They did become good friends but when the guy began to question his relationship with her, Pallavi backed out. Later, when she was finally ready to accept her feelings, he backed out. It was like tossing ball in a Tennis game. Their distance increased and somewhere along, their friendship faded out. And just like that one day, he stopped talking.

She was painfully single all over again. Not that she was committed in the first place. Her story ended before it even began.

She was so distressed that she often prayed to God about it. Secretly. Infact, on one fateful trip with her parents to the hills, she stumbled upon a falling star. A growing woman would wish for several things. She did, too. One of them happened to a youthful romance she would never forget.

Question was, did falling stars really granted wishes? We'll see about that.

* * * *

My apologies if this isn't what you expected. A little background and setup is necessary before starting the main story. Hope you liked it. What do you think of Pallavi so far?

Vote and Comment.