"Music cleanses the understanding; inspires it, and lifts it into a realm which it would not reach if it were left to itself."

- Henry Ward Beecher

Hailey POV

2 weeks later

I officially hate everything.

It's been a day since I moved far far FAR away from my cheating scumbag of an EX and it's been a very stressful day of moving into my new flat, half of my stuff is missing and the other half isn't even mine, after remaining on the phone for over two hours I finally got through, only for them to hang up the phone on me.

I took a break from University the day after Valentine's day, the day my boyfriend and best friend broke my heart, into a billion pieces. I couldn't take the stares the next morning of everyone on campus who had heard about what had happened in the halls of Austins dorm, and news traveled fast on campus, by the first lecture, everyone had heard about it.

Since then I have not heard or seen Austin and Michelle, or any of my friends for that matter. I still have yet to buy a phone, when I can afford one that is the first thing I need to do, and get a new number so I can never see their lying cheating faces again.

The one thing I do regret is quitting my job at Ivan & Livvys, everyone there was like family to me, it was one of the best places to work and I had to give it up, I couldn't stay in that town anymore, everyone knew who I suddenly was, and everyone was on Austin's side. Ivan was so pissed that he banned Austin and Michelle for life from the restaurant and refused to let me quit, it broke my heart seeing him so upset that I told him I was leaving, but in the end after fighting with him, he understood and said when I return, my job will always be mine.

If I do ever return that is.

I had heard many things before I moved, on the day of shipping my stuff to my new place, I heard whispers from multiple people as I passed them that I had cheated on Austin and he caught me, which made me seething mad that I already knew who was passing that lie about, Michelle is no angel, she loves being the center of attention, she craves it as much as Austin craves compliments from people, I know it was her, she wouldn't let people talk bad about her, she rather name and shame someone else with a complete lie than to look like the bad guy.

After that I had nightmares, the same dream every time but it always had a different ending, but always ended in catching Austin and Michelle cheating, it's gotten so bad that I can't sleep at night, I cry myself to sleep until I get so exhausted that I pass out, nothing feels normal anymore.

My face is thinner and I've lost weight, I can feel it in the gap in my jeans, I just don't care about such things like I used to, I was healthy and happy, but nothing seems to make me happy anymore, I'm completely miserable.

So here I am, sitting on the floor of my new empty apartment eating a large pizza by myself with a half-empty cheap bottle of red wine, completely and utterly alone in life and love.

I should have foreseen this coming, men have always been a disappointment in my life, starting with dear old daddy. With him being in the Navy we moved around a lot, and when my mother passed from breast cancer, that didn't change a single thing for him, I never saw him mourn or cry for my mother, he just didn't care.

I can't blame my father for my shitty choice in men, no. Nor am I making excuses for myself, things didn't come easy for me, I grew up alone and looked after myself, I didn't always make the best decisions but damn I thought I had learned from my mistakes, I was sure of it, clearly not.

Maybe I would be better off being a lesbian? Pfft, no, that's just wishful thinking, even if I did like girls, I don't trust anyone after Austin and Michelle, they have officially ruined me for all others, I don't want to put myself out there, not anymore, who is going to love a broke student with no aspirations in life? I have no furniture, friends, or life, a brilliant new start, huh?

I lay down on the cold wood floor, pizza box is half empty and the bottle of cheap red wine is gone, already regretting not getting a second bottle. 

I feel as if I'm sinking like I'm laying in quicksand, just wanting to be swallowed whole by the floorboards, waiting to be devoured until there's nothing left anymore, I'm empty, just like that bottle of wine.

Memories of my mother come to mind as I close my eyes, I'm beyond exhausted considering the time isn't even 6 PM, the smell of her perfume she would wear in the hospital because she hated the smell of her room, her contagious laugh that would make me laugh without fail, her jokes that were so lame but I begged to hear more because I loved the light in her eyes when she was telling them, but most of all, I miss her hugs.

Whenever I was upset about something or mad at something my father said to me, she would always give the most amazing hugs, like a warm fluffy blanket would wrap its covers around you, I felt all my worries melt away when she would wrap her arms around me, I will always remember the words she said to me whenever I cried in her arms.

"Every time you cry Hailey, don't forget you get a little bit stronger."

The crazy thing is if you believe something so strongly it becomes true, I cried for her every day when she passed, but then I would remember those words she would say to me and I felt stronger because it felt like she had her arms wrapped around me every time I would miss her, keeping me safe, keeping me strong, I wasn't so alone.

That night I fell asleep with the thought of being in my mother's arms, as I fell asleep on the cold floor in the cold empty apartment, with the cheap bottle of wine wrapped around my hand.

The next day

I had woken up with a pounding headache, it felt like my skull was splitting in two, and I was dying for the toilet, getting up from the floor I had almost tripped over the bottle of wine, instead, I stepped on my leftover pizza with my barefoot.

Groaning out I make my way to the toilet and do my business, my clothes feel sticky and wet, I had another nightmare of Austin and Michelle, this time we were in Austin's families cabin, the same one he took me to at last Christmas, I had caught them when I opened the door, nothing changes, the result is always the same, I catch them cheating and they show no remorse, they just lie and lie until I run away, exactly like I did when I caught them in his dorm room.

 I can't take another day like this anymore, I need to escape, I need to get out of the country completely, somewhere with fresh faces, somewhere where no one will know who I am, it sounds like heaven right now, to sleep somewhere with an actual bed, to sightsee and do things I never would've done, be spontaneous, just to do something, anything at all other than sit in this empty apartment in a town full of people I don't even want to know.

I shower and brush my hair, once I get dressed I decide to just 'fuck it' and pack a small bag for the week and go somewhere, anywhere, I will literally go anywhere right now just to get my mind off the fact that I am alone and miserable.

Once I'm dressed and my bag is packed I lock my apartment door and carry the pizza box down with me to put in the trash, once that's done, I'm calling for a taxi like I'm on autopilot, my body is acting on its own and I honestly do not care anymore, I don't give a damn where I'm heading, I just want away from here.

A cab stops in front of me and I get inside the yellow car, the man up front nods to me. "Where to missy?" 

"The airport please." I say, as I put my seatbelt on.

The cab driver says 'rightio' then off we go, simple as that I am heading for the airport, without a care in the world, I have no destination in mind and to have no thought or plan is exhilarating, for once I don't have to think about something, I'm just doing it, for the first time in my life I'm not giving a shit.

I'm going to use this week to get my head straight, to not think about how much my life sucks right now and just do things I would love to do with my mother, try new food, go to a museum or an art gallery, hell go swimming in the sea, I'm open to everything, I want to rebuild my life somewhere where it doesn't remind me of how much everything blows right now.

After roughly thirty minutes, I pay the cab driver and walk into the airport, without a clue as to where I'm going, I head straight for the desk with my bag and since it's so early, there are not many people in line, I wait barely a minute before it's my turn to step forward to the front desk.

"Hey, how can I help you today?" The man says behind the desk 'Roy' it says on his nameplate.

I clear my throat and put my passport in front of me. "One return ticket for the first flight out please."

Roy looks at me with a smile and nods his head then takes my passport from me on the side. "Right, that's Portland and you're lucky, the boarding sign just came up, how long are you traveling for Miss?"

Portland it is.

"One week."

Roy taps on the keyboard and few times then I pay for my boarding pass, he hands back my passport with my boarding pass and I say thank you, to which he calls out 'have a nice trip' as I make my way to the current plane platform.

I make it there exactly right before doors were closing and surprisingly the plane only had a few people seated, no more than ten plus me were sat inside the plane, minus the flight staff and pilots, this already seems like a good idea, this is exactly what I call a perfect flight, no one seated next to me and no screaming babies or rowdy children running up and down the plane.

The flight to Portland was peaceful, no one bothered me as I brought a book to read during the flight, I can't remember the last time I had time to just sit and read something that wasn't a textbook for University or a Menu for someone too lazy to read it themselves at Ivans, surprisingly things were starting to look up, I had not thought about a single thing since I sat down, I was too engrossed in the book 'Turbalance' by David Szalay, ironic I thought so I had brought it with me, not yet having the pleasure to read it until now, but glad I did, I had missed reading a good book without having to stress about something.

We've landed and I make my way out of the airport, the Portland air hits me and it's perfect, not too warm nor too cold, like I said, I feel like things are starting to look up for me, thankful that it isn't raining as I didn't exactly pack for freezing weather temperatures. 

I get into an airport taxi and ask to be taken to a Hotel I had found quickly on my way out, a pamphlet with a specific hotel sign had caught my eye, so I decided to go with that one, not giving a care about how much this is going to cost me, I'm already rolling in minus signs, might as well enjoy it before I head back and work myself to death just to pay it off, you only live once, I say screw it, this is my vacation.

We stop outside the Hotel 'The Nines' and I can already tell I am going to maybe regret this just a little bit, this place is way out of my budget as I see people dressed in the finest of clothes and jewels walk in and out of the building, I pay the cab fare and head inside, every step I begin to regret being so impulsive, there's no way I can afford this place, even with a good salary and no debt.

Damn, I would feel so stupid just turning around after coming this far, I suck it up and walk to the front desk and get the cheapest room which is the One Bedroom Suite, for one week exactly, my suite is on floor five and my room number is 410, after some curious glances from people behind me I take a deep breath and head to the elevator.

This is a good idea, right? Oh god, I'm starting to think this was a huge mistake, I'm in freaking Portland for vacation, have I seriously lost my mind and gone mad? I honestly do not even know what the hell this makes me, travelling all the way here for a week seems pretty mad to someone like me, who wouldn't have done this if not for...

No, no thinking, this is MY vacation, and my very much needed ME time, I'm going to have fun this week, I will make it my life mission to enjoy myself, despite it all.

I step into the elevator and I'm the only one inside, I press the button for floor five where my room is located, and wait for the doors to close, I lean against the cold metal and close my eyes and take a much needed deep breath as I block the world out.

Just as the door was about to close I hear the doors reopen, opening my eyes I see a well dressed tall man dressed in a leather jacket and ripped jeans, his face is hidden as it is covered by his baseball cap positioned low on his face, I see him nod to me and then lean forward to press the top floor button on the elevator.

I move into the corner and lean my head against the cold walls of the elevator as I watch the doors close, thus leaving me alone in here with the man who got on at the last minute. 

I ignore his presence and just focus on the numbers above the elevator that tells us which floor we are currently at, but something is off as the numbers haven't changed since we made it to floor two, there's a sudden noise and the elevator has stopped completely.

That is definitely not a good sign.

I move forward and press the button to my floor again and nothing happens, the buttons are no longer lighting up and the lights in the elevator are flicking on and off as if we are losing power in this small enclosed metal box.

"You have got to be kidding me right now." I say quietly to myself as I keep pressing the button for help.

No, this is not happening right now! The last thing I want is to be trapped in a small tight space with a strange man in a baseball cap that just screams 'stranger danger, stay away', not to mention my fear of enclosed spaces.

The lights flicker a few times and then it goes completely dark, the power had completely gone within the elevator and I am now standing in complete darkness with a stranger.

Is it too late to turn back now? I think yes, yes it is Hailey, you idiot.

Just my god damn luck.