"Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it above and beyond all words."

- Robert G. ingersoll

Hailey POV

As I swept my way past the tables, I headed straight for my table to deliver their order, it had been quite busy today because of the new special on the menu, now the owner of the restaurant hated this dish with a passion, he hated the linger of the smell each time he cooked it, it was a smoked fish steak and ever since his wife had introduced the dish, it seems even after her passing he couldn't bear the thought of taking it off the menu, so he kept it on to honor her memory and love of fish.

Even if it did stink up the kitchen in the back of the restaurant, every time someone ordered the special dish, the owner would smile because, it reminded him of her, and to see that much love and adoration of one man's face makes you curious as to when you will find someone who loves you like the owner loves his wife.

I made it to my table and lower plates in front of the couple, they had both ordered the fish steak. "Here you are, would you like more drinks?" I ask, and the two couple that seems to be fairly new to each other, smile appreciatively at me and shake their heads and say 'no thank you' than talk amongst themselves as I smile back then make my way to the kitchen.

My feet are killing me, I've been here since 3 and it's now 8, I was supposed to finish at 7 but we've been so swamped with people, and considering it's Valentines, we have a lot more couples in here than our normal customers, stuffy businessmen with their mistresses or business partners, it's a nice feel for a chance to see happy couples come through the doors and have fun in each others company.

The kitchen is in full swing and Ivan, the owner and head chef looks relieved to see me as I walk into the kitchen, everyone in the kitchen has been here for hours and since opening, they've been rushed off their feet, Valentine's day is one of the busiest times of the year for Ivan & Ivvy's restaurant. 

"Why are you still here? I thought I told you to leave at 7." Ivan says. The frown on his face says he is disappointed but the appreciative look in his eyes is thankful I stuck around to help out.

"It's fine, really, I'm just happy to help Ivan."

"No plans with your boyfriend? I would've thought Mr pretty would at least take you to dinner."

I shake my head and sit on the stool in front of him as he cooks. "He said something important came up and he couldn't make it so, I might as well stick around here then be by myself."

"That boy." Ivan says disappointed and I smile, watching as he cooks under the flaming fire, flipping the fish on the pan as the fire roars above the pan.

"Where's the salt!? Guys stop moving my salt or so help me I will turn you all into smoked fish!" Ivan says, gritting his teeth.

"Uh, it's beside you Ivan." I point to the salt to his left and he smiles apologetically behind him to his chefs, to which they just laugh and continue to prep food for the hungry customers.

"You should head off Hailey, surprise that boyfriend of yours." Ivan says and I think about it, it's completely hectic out there, I don't want to leave him, one waiter, down.

"I can't leave, not when yo-"

"I can fire you Hailey, you need to take a break once in a while, go get out of my kitchen and enjoy what's left of Valentine's day." He says, chopping garlic as he nods towards the back door.

I gave up and nodded my head, it's no use to argue with Ivan about it, he's as stubborn as a donkey, knowing full well he wouldn't fire me if I didn't leave, he would just be disappointed, I have been overworking every day for a while now, needing the extra cash so I can stay in University and finish my last year without any worries, but no matter how hard I work and how many shifts I take, the numbers are getting higher and my student loan is going nowhere.

"You win this time old man, I'll see you Monday." I say, removing my apron, then walking to the back of the kitchen, hanging the apron up on the hook in the waiters changing room.

"Have fun kiddo, see you Monday!" Ivan shouts out in the busy kitchen to me then yells at another chef for putting too much oil in the pan, that's when I grab my bag and coat and then head out the backdoor of the restaurant, enjoying the cool breeze that hit my warm skin.

It's cold tonight but I feel anything but, rushing around all day in a restaurant and sitting in a hot kitchen can mess with your body temperature, but I don't hate it, working for Ivan has kept me sane these past few months that I have been working for him, he's a great boss and an even better friend, he and his late wife are like family to me, if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be able to stay in University and battle the mountain of debt I have.

Walking back to my dorm, I can't help but wonder what my boyfriend is doing, he's been busy a lot lately and I had thought it had something to do with Valentine's day and maybe a surprise for me, but that's definitely not the case since he canceled our plans tonight, he's been doing it a lot more often too, not that I mind, he's QB and busy.

Austin Camp is worshipped at our university, but that's no shocker to me, having known him since high school he has always been Mr popular and the center of attention, even from teachers, everyone loved him because he brought the football team to new heights, in this town he is like a god to him. 

Austin loves the attention and eats it up every time, he's popular and good looking, he was so sweet when I first met him, I was shocked that he was speaking to someone like me, who was neither popular nor a loner, I knew people but I wasn't the center of any attention until he approached me out of nowhere in the halls of University and asked me on a date.

To which I said yes, who wouldn't? He was a gentleman despite the rumors of him being a womanizer, I ignored them and accepted the date, and ever since that day two years ago, we've been dating, and honestly, it's been great, I ignore the glares of other women and he dismisses the advances of other women, he makes me feel happy and carefree when I'm with him, but that was before a few months ago, he's been distant and cold, always canceling our plans because 'something else came up' or he 'can't make it', he always promises to make it up to me but doesn't.

He's not a bad guy, he's a good boyfriend, if it wasn't for him and my best friend Michelle Lovern, I would be completely lost and miserable, Michelle and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, she's like a sister to me, we do everything together and nothing is a secret, I was beyond happy once she approved of Austin and I dating, they got on really well and I was worried because of how much she hated football guys and how protective she was of me with my choice in men.

I will admit before Austin I had a bad taste in men, you name it and I've dated the guy, I was rebellious when I was younger, my mother's death and my fathers lack of presence because of his job working in the Navy, I acted out, it felt like I was alone and ignored but that was before I met Michelle, since meeting her I've found my roots and calmed down that rebellious streak, I don't drink until I pass out and I don't dance until I fall down anymore and I certainly don't use drugs for fun anymore, I changed for the better.

I go into my bag and get out my phone to ring Austin, I'm coming up to his dorm right now and I want to check if he's there before I head on up to his room, it's quite late so he should be home, football practice doesn't run this late, his coach wouldn't allow the guys to work out this late because of University rules.

One ring, two rings, three rings. I hold the phone to my ear and the phone beeps, no answer.

Did he just cancel my call? It usually goes to voicemail or he picks up, but.. something is wrong, the call usually goes to his voicemail and he never rejects my call, he was very stubborn about always answering my calls, especially after work when I'm walking home alone at night to make sure I'm okay. 

I open the door to his dorm building and make my way up to his room, students are looming the halls, mostly Austin's teammates and some girls they've brought from campus parties, it's the same as usual and nothing is out of place, this is a student dorm building full of athletic students.

I make it to his door and I knock, I hear voices inside his room so he is definitely here, I knock again and there's no answer, behind his door is silence so I put my ear towards his door and listen.

Someone is definitely in there. "Austin? It's me, are you there?" I knock again.

I hear the keychain on his door unlock and then his front door opens, Austin stands there out of breath and only wearing underwear, his blue eyes look at me wildly and his hair is messy.. like he just woke up.

"Hey? I called you, were you sleeping?" I ask, peeking into his room to which he closes the door so I can't, something feels wrong and it gives me a sinking gut feeling, something I don't want to be right.

"H-Hey, yeah, I was tired after practice, sorry, can you come back tomorrow?" He asks, slightly nervous as his eyes shift and he keeps the door closed, blocking my view of his bedroom.

I scrunch my brows and stare at him confused. "But it's Valentine's day, are you seriously telling me to go away?" 

He swallows nervously and scratches the back of his head, not saying anything but nodding his head.

I hear movement coming from his bedroom and I heard a voice say 'shit', I stare at him and put my hand on the door to push it open, Austin keeps it still and blocks me.

"Open the door Austin!"

"Stop it, you're acting crazy!" He says blocking me, before I push him, the door swings open and that is when I see someone I know very well, naked on Austin's bed with the blanket wrapped around her body, her hair is messy like Austins and I'm speechless.

"Wha- What the hell is going on?" 

"Babe- I swear this is not what it looks like, s-she's just sleeping over, yeah." He says holding onto my arm and I shove him away from me.

I feel sick. Oh my god, my best friend and my boyfriend.

"Stop lying Austin, she's not an idiot." Michelle says and I can't believe this is happening, I move away from the door and back out into the dorm hallways.

"Shut the fuck up! Stop talking!" Austin yells at Michelle.

I can't watch this, I can't be here, I-

Austin swears under his breath. "W-Wait, baby I'm sorry, shit- I love you, this is just sex!" He says, grabbing hold of my hand.

His hand in mine makes me feel disgusted, there are no longer butterflies in my stomach from his touch but disgust and nausea, I feel nothing for him anymore but sickness, I can't even look at him.

"Are you kidding me, sex? You said you loved me Austin! We've been fucking for months!" Michelle screams out from his bedroom.

"Shut up!.. Please, Hails, let's talk-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" I yell, turning my head away from him and shoving my arm away from his hold, the feel of his skin on mine makes me feel disgusting and filthy, I don't look back at him and keep walking to the stairwell, I need to get out of here, I can't see any more of this!

"Fuck, FUCK!" I hear Austin yell out but I ignore it as I rashly make my way down the stairs, needing to escape this place and get some fresh air.

Michelle and Austin had sex, and for months, they've been doing this for months behind my back, and like a fool, I had no idea what was going on, how could they continue to act normal in front of me for months like nothing was going on between them and act innocent in front of me? FOR MONTHS.

I can't believe that I fed into his bullshit, I feel so fucking stupid, I thought he was different, I thought she- she..

Oh god, why is this happening, I don't deserve this!

I hear yelling behind me and laughing, the campus is full of people coming and going from parties from around campus, it's Valentine so there's a lot of parties going on this weekend.. 

I pass people making out on the bench and I feel sick, I can't even look at people kissing without picturing Austin and Michelle, every face I see I see them, right in front of me and shoving their tongues in each others mouth, right in front of me.

My phone rings in my bag and I know it's Austin from the ringtone I set for him, 'Walking on sunshine', It was our song, on our first date this song played on the radio while we were driving to the beach for our date, it was perfect and I truly felt like I was walking on sunshine, he was not what I expected from a guy like Austin, he made me laugh so much that day, we were so happy and even though we were getting to know each other, I could tell I loved him..

The tears stream from down my face and touch the floor as I stand there in front of the fountain in the middle of campus, I feel so stupid, so so stupid, how could I think he would be different? That Michelle would be different? Everyone, in the end, is a disappointment and then they leave you and break your heart.

I don't care that people are passing me and looking at me as I cry my heart out sitting on the edge of the fountain, staring at my phone as 'walking on sunshine' plays, once, twice, and a third time until I can't bear it anymore, happy memories come to mind and shatter just as fast when I see Austin and Michelle's faces, their messy hair and clothes on the floor.

I drop my phone into the fountain and watch as the photo begins to flicker, the photo I took of me and Austin at the last Christmas together, it was our first one alone, we went to his parent's cabin, we sat and talked near the fireplace for hours, wrapped in a blanket and sipping on hot chocolate, it was the most romantic thing Austin had ever done for me, so I took that photo to remind me of how happy he made me, I choose it for my profile picture and his caller ID.

I watch with glassy eyes as the phone turns black and Austin's name disappears in the water, along with my phone. Standing up I rub my eyes and walk away, leaving the phone behind, not looking back at this damn place one last time as I head to my dorm, with a broken heart and no phone, people around me are laughing and having the time of their lives with their dates, nothing for them is unusual, just another day as a university student having the time of their lives.

All the while I let my tears fall and try to forget every happy memory I have ever had with the two people I cared the most for.

I don't want to trust another person again, if it feels like this, I don't want to ever look at another man ever again, not if it will always end up like this, me, with a broken heart and more trust issues.

One thing I know for sure is, Austin and Michelle deserve each other.

They can both rot in fucking hell for all I care!