A/n: This request was probably made a year ago...but i'm going to honor it because urdadlolz123 was my absolute FAVORITE requester on my last sanders sides omo book! I'm sad Wattpad took the dm feature away i'm P sure there were epic requests there as well😭😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST!!! It took a long time bc lowkey I ran out of motivation for the old SS omo book but teehee im back!! Love you, castra! Dedicating this chapter to you bc we havent spoken in over a year BYEEEE

Logan wasn't able to possibly fathom how he was best friends with Remus and Patton. Being friends with either of them was a shock to most people who knew him, actually.

Logan was a very serious, stoic person. He tried not to be, but his attempts at conversation, and especially humor, always came off as forced and awkward. He had never been sociable growing up, and that lack of experience was very telling. People who didn't know him were afraid to approach him, and people who did know him could never tell if he was enjoying himself or not—unless they knew him as well as Remus and Patton.

They knew he found joy and humor in a lot of things, but couldn't express it properly due to the years of bullying. Being shut down every time he attempted to open up was part of the reason why he acted like he did today. To avoid rejection or getting hurt, he stuck to himself, staying in his own little bubble.

Remus and Patton were the complete opposites of Logan. A couple of loud, comedic goofballs who found the smallest of situations to be laughable to the extent of gasping for air and screaming. Logan was equal parts annoyed and jealous. He had never laughed like that in his entire life.

But still, they were friends. They had amazing conversations, snd had helped Logan come out of his shell. He became more comfortable laughing and smiling around people outside of his friend group, even getting better at forcing fake, polite smiles at pathetic attempts at humor.

He really didn't understand how people found humor in such childish matters. Remus and Patton were always joking about something that Logan just couldn't even force himself to find anything to laugh about. But he liked having friends, and he liked talking to them, so he allowed them to make these jokes with him, and tried his best to reciprocate with some humor of his own.

They never laughed at him, they laughed with him. He liked that. Even when his jokes fell flat, they were experts at keeping a steady pace in the conversation, so there was no time to linger in silence or for him to feel embarrassed. They were very kind to him.

They had been hanging out for a few hours at this point, and the chatter was nonstop. Luckily, they were able to keep themselves occupied with each other while Logan read a book. They tried to include him in the conversation countless times, and he loved that they were making that effort, but sometimes he preferred to just listen. Maybe he could bring that up to them at one point.

He out his book down eventually and joined the conversation, though. It was very nice talking to them, but he couldn't deny that their humor did not tickle any of his funny bones. In fact, every time they made one of those God forsaken jokes, Logan took a sip of juice to hide the fact that his face was straight and monotone. It made him feel guilty. Like he wasn't a real friend, or at least, like he was a bad friend. It made him wish that he was normal, because anybody else would be able to join the conversation and joke around with ease. But he just couldn't.

Patton and Remus didn't seem to mind though, so he didn't dwell on it, "Remus!" Patton gasped in shock. He must have made some kind of snippy comment, because Patton bursted into giggles and slapped his shoulder lightly. Logan had completely missed what was said, so brought his cup to his face to drink. Maybe he should get wine instead, this was going to be a long night.

—————————————————————————

After a little bit longer of conversation, Remus's jokes got too much, even for Patton, but only because they quickly switched to a sexual nature. It didn't make either of them uncomfortable, but they both knew that once Remus started, there was no stopping it.

"Wow! It feels like we've been talking for hours!" Patton exclaimed as he cut off the punchline of a particularly dirty joke.

"We have" Logan said. He was stating a fact, but Patton laughed as if he genuinely thought that they'd only been there for thirty minutes. The tension stirring in Logan's bladder certainly protested against that.

"How about we bake some cookies?" Patton questioned, "we've just been sitting around, moving a little might be good for us. Plus, cookies are soooo good, and I have an amazing recipe that i'm willing to quit gatekeeping, so long as neither of you pass it on to Virgil. He will eat his body weight in cookies" Patton said seriously.

"So...roughly seventy pounds?" Remus joked.

Patton laughed, but Logan didn't think it was very funny. Virgil had struggled with eating his entire life. If Virgil was here, he probably would have laughed too, or tagged along with an even worse joke, but he wasn't there. And Logan didn't like making fun of that when he wasn't even there, even if he knew that they weren't actually  making fun of him. It was just a joke. He needed to calm down. It was never this serious, he knew that.

He thought about excusing himself to the bathroom, but Remus and Patton clearly knew something was up with him. Truthfully, he'd had to use the bathroom for around an hour now, but between his friend's incessant yapping and them trying to talk to him, he never got the chance to excuse himself.

"Logie, come on! You've been super super quiet for a while, and I don't want you to feel left out!" Patton gushed, taking Logan's hand and pulling him off of the couch. Feeling Patton's hand in his made Logan freeze for a moment, blushing as he quickly regained composure and forced his jelly legs to carry him faster towards the kitchen.

Remus nodded along, clearly not noticing the pause in Logan's movements, "Yeah! I know we talk and joke a lot. And we're both kinda loud, so you probably just didn't have time to say anything before we jumped to the next topic!"

Logan wondered how his friends lived with their ADHD. They literally couldn't focus to save their lives. He found it endearing though, and it was never truly an issue.

"You already have butter out, were you planning to make these cookies already?" Logan questioned. The butter was room temperature, sitting out on a glass plate.

Patton facepalmed, "Oh my goodness! I meant ti bake them before you got here, but I must have gotten side tracked and forgotten...well, I guess it's okay. It's fun to bake with other people! Let me grab my aprons. Oh, and Remus, can you get flour, baking soda and salt? Logan, could you grab an egg from the fridge please?" 

Both of them said yes to their respective tasks, and they met back up at the kitchen island with all the ingredients, "Alright, let's cream the butter and sugars together with my stand mixer. Remus, you can turn it on because I know you can't resist the switch. Put it on medium speed, and while that whips up we can measure and mix our dry ingredients!"

It was a bit hard for Logan to pay attention to anything happening when his bladder was screaming at him. Now that he had been walking around, his need had grown more urgent over the past few minutes. He was really regretting drinking so much juice, but it wasn't his fault that his friends were the most unfunny people he had ever met.

Logan nearly jumped when Patton pulled him
out of his thoughts by gasping, "to the sink! Before we start, we should wash our hands!"

Taking in a quiet sigh, Logan made his way towards the sink. He was glad Patton remembered that, because he truthfully hadn't even thought about it. And he knew the germs festering on Remus's hands had the power to kill them both, but he really wasn't looking forward to hearing the rush of water from the faucet.

  When the sink turned on, Logan tried to keep his face neutral and his body language still. As the water rushed over his hands, he felt a shiver run down his spine. He figured he could hold it a little longer, though. Remus and Patton seemed happy, and they'd gotten into a steady conversation.  He didn't want to leave now, and risk ruining what they'd built.

Not to mention how they were watching him now. They were paying attention because he was being quiet, he couldn't possibly go now. They'd think he was trying to get away from them, surely. Even though he'd been drinking through their jokes, he still loved his friends and loved being around them. He didn't want them to think that he found them annoying or unbearable.

But they probably found him annoying. They probably found him unbearable. Somewhere, deep down he was sure they did. He was unlike anybody they'd ever been friends with. He was unlike anybody they'd ever met. Even Logan himself had never known anybody like him.

And now he was fucking standing there, squirming like a fool in his best friend's kitchen because he was too scared to excuse himself to the restroom. He truly was pathetic.

Before he knew what was happening, Remus was dragging him back into the conversation. Logan tried his best to pay attention despite the shame weighing heavy in his heart, and the unbearable pressure growing in his bladder. He added vanilla extract and an egg to the cookie dough per Patton's request, and once it was all mixed in, Remus dumped all the dry ingredients in, causing a cloud of flour to blow into their faces.

Patton laughed, "Remus, you goober, I said we were supposed to take the bowl off the stand mixer, and gradually fold the flour in with a spatula!"

"That takes too long!" He whined, before pointing towards the bowl, "besides, look! A little messy, sure, but it's all mixed in."

Patton rolled his eyes playfully before adding in the chocolate chips, "okay, fine, your method did work a lot faster. But I think there's a lot of value in slowing down. Taking a moment to appreciate the mundane parts of life" he shrugged, "let's scoop out these cookies!"

"I think we forgot to preheat the oven" Logan smirked to himself. Patton always forgot something, and he found that cute.

Patton face palmed once more, "so close to being perfect!"

—————————————————————————

Logan could foolishly overestimate how long he could hold his bladder, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew when too much was too much, and he was on the cusp of it now. The cookies had just gotten into the oven, and throughout the rolling process, Logan had barely spoken a word. His friend's eyes were on him now, and they were both questioning him with concern.

But he couldn't just admit that he had to pee. That would be humiliating. Then they'd know that the reason he had been so quiet today was because he had been holding his bladder for hours. Then they'd ask him why and wonder if they made him uncomfortable or nervous and it would be a whole mess of emotions that he wasn't willing to get into.

As Logan felt the first few leaks seep into his underwear, he decided that he was an idiot for ever letting things get taken this far.  The nerves bunching up in his stomach felt like they were weighing down with his bladder as his friends cornered him. His bladder gave out and he began to piss all over himself, urine pooling onto his clothes and streaming down his thighs.

Both of his friends stopped speaking once they noticed what was happening, and Logan completely froze as he continued to wet himself. He felt tears prickling at his eyes. No. No, no, no. Stop it, you aren't meant to cry. You're supposed to be better than this. Stronger than this. But no matter how he best himself up in his mind, the reality of the situation was that he was pissing himself while there was a bathroom right down the hall, unoccupied and perfectly suitable for use.

Patton's jaw had dropped in shock, before he covered his mouth with his hands, wide-eyed and staring. He was left speechless, which was honestly impressive. He'd never seen Patton go from rambling to silent so quickly. He could say the same for Remus.

"Dude" Remus muttered, "shit, Lo."

Logan didn't know why those words broke him. Maybe it was because Remus's voice held so much concern. No anger, no disgust. He was purely, genuinely worried for him. He let out a choked sob, "oh my God, i'm so sorry!" He covered his face with his hands, utterly humiliated.

Patton snapped out of his silence and immediately jumped into comforting his friend,  "Oh, Lolo, it's fine! I swear, everything's going to be okay, we aren't going to see you any differently over this!" He had a lot of questions, but decided to save them for after Logan was cleaned up and calmed down, he was very clearly overwhelmed.

Logan sniffed, "I don't know why i'm like this, I don't know why i'm not normal, I—i've been putting off going for a while now b-b-bec-because it never felt like the right time, and you guys were so focused on me, and—and I made you worried because I was quiet, but I was quiet because I had to use the restroom, I—I-I just don't know what to say except i'm so stupid."

Patton's eyes softened, "Oh, Logan—this is such a disaster, isn't it? I'm sorry if we were overbearing. Or made you feel like you couldn't pause the conversation to go..."

"Shit, no wonder you and Virgil became friends so quickly, you both are insane over thinkers" Remus joked.

Logan didn't know why he laughed at that. He was at his emotional limit for the day, he could blame it on that.

"No wonder you've been so quiet" Remus continued, shaking his head as he surveyed the damage. Logan had a puddle beneath his feet, "that must've been so uncomfortable."

Logan looked down, blushing brightly, "I—I should probably go. Uhm. Clean up."

Patton nodded rapidly, "right! Of course, go on. We'll clean up here, okay? And before you start arguing, we don't mind! Really" he expressed, "go take as long as you need. We can talk more when you return!"

Remus nodded as well, "yeah, and don't do anymore overthinking! We're like, so chill and to be perfectly honest, what just happened made my piss kink absolutely rage, so yeah."

Laughter bubbled up in Logan's chest, and he couldn't help but to release it. They all laughed together, and Logan found himself growing emotional again at how amazing his friends were. This really was an off day—pissing himself, crying, and laughing all in the same five minutes was insane. Remus and Patton truly were his closest friends.

A/n: Ummmmm okay yeah thanks for reading ANNND TYSM FOR REQUESTING ILYYYY

Words: 2642