Our Weird Step-Brother Still Isn't Human (Part Two)
-Requested by the wonderful Hazelfraser25 -
"Can we go to the mountain?" Dick asked, tugging Tim's sleeve. "Please? It's so much bigger."
Tim looked down at his little brother, then up at Conner. "I guess? How does that feel?"
"I guess." Conner agreed. "If we don't let the team work it out." The team hadn't met Damian or Dick yet, and they definitely didn't know that Batman and Superman were tangled in some romantic middle-aged bullshit.
"So we can go? I can met them?" Dick asked, bouncing a little.
"Okay, fine." Tim relented. "But you need to be good."
"I will!" Dick insisted. "Let's go!"
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The whole team, minus Superboy, and Red Robin were sitting around the mountain that evening. M'gann was doing homework at the coffee table, Kaldur was reading on one of the couches, and Wally and Artemis were fighting over the remote, and complaining about how each others shows sucked.
"Come on! the one night we don't have to watch static, and you wanna watch The L Word?" Wally complained, pulling the remote away from the blonde.
She tugged it back, kicking him in the stomach. "You've watched Scott Pilgrim like eighty times! Come on!"
"So? It's funny!" The redhead objected.
"Yeah it is, but I need my lesbian representation fix!"
They were interrupted by the Zeta beam announcing the arrival of Superboy and Red Robin. Surprisingly, it also announced Red Hood, as well as the names 'Renegade' and 'Robin'.
Artemis glanced at Kaldur. "I thought they decommissioned the name 'Robin' after Hood... you know."
They looked up as five youth entered. Two of they're teammates, Red Hood (Who occasionally joined them on missions), and Renagde (who'd they'd never met, but had heard a lot about).
"Red Ro, what's up?" Wally asked. "What's everyone doing here?"
"Wally! Are you watching Scott Pilgrim?" Red Hood ordered, running over.
"Yeah, but Arty wants to watch 'the L Word'."
"Ah." Hood observed. "A Lesbian, I knew it."
Artemis scoffed and shoved him. "Shut up, you're like eleven." She glanced up at her teammates. "Why'd you bring them?" She whined a little. "is that renegade? The way you talked about him, I thought he was like thirty!"
"Is everything alright?" Kaldur asked, worried why Red Robin would bring his brothers if it wasn't an emergency.
M'gann was trying to say hello to Renegade, but he didn't seem to be in the mood. She cut her losses. "Red Robin, I'm afraid there might be an issue with the system. When you entered, the computer called out the name 'Robin'."
"Oh, yeah, well you'd have to meet him eventually..." Tim muttered.
"There's ANOTHER Robin?" Artemis gaped. "Even I didn't know that, and I live in Gotham!"
"Yeah, well, he's still pretty new, so..." He looked over his shoulder "Come on, Robin. You have to meet them eventually."
Everyone watched hesitantly as a little boy, no older than five of six, stumbled around Red Robin's side, clutching his leg.
"WHAT." Artemis asked.
"He's so young?" Kaldur observed, shocked.
"He's... a baby!" The blonde shouted. "Batman wouldn't let a Toddler fight crime, right? He doesn't even look like he's old enough to be in kindergarten!"
"Hi! How old are you?" M'gann squealed.
The boy looked nervously at Red Robin and inched behind him. "He's Six now." Red Robin answered, protectively. "Don't worry, he's just being trained right now, he's not going out yet."
"Of well thank god." Artemis exclaimed sarcastically.
"Bats sure starts them young..." Wally commented.
"Yeah, well he's a special case." Hood said defensively, heading over to see his baby brother. He reached behind Red Ro's legs and hauled the little boy off the floor. The boy was better meeting people when he was being held. "Renegade." Jason shoved his younger brother into his oldest brother's arms.
Renegade shifted Dick in his arms, and whispered something to the little boy to calm him down. He looked at Red Robin and Superboy, as if asked one of them to take the little boy from him. He loved his little brother, but he didn't want all the attention in his direction.
"I- uh- I could take him. If he wants." Conner offered awkwardly, he was strong enough that he didn't struggle holding a six year old. Little Robin nodded and was passed off to the kryptonian. Conner found a comfortable position to hold the boy and did so.
"Conner, you've met him?" M'gann asked, she didn't know why Conner would know Red Robin's little brother if the rest of them didn't.
"Uh, sort of." He said.
"Yeah, you all came in at once?" Artemis added. "Were you ditching with us to hang out with the bats? How does that work?"
Conner awkwardly shifted the boy's position in his arms again. "We were brought along. When Batman and Superman were... working on something together." Conner said slowly. No one questioned why he'd be brought along, he and superman had agreed to reluctantly spend Saturdays together, but were constantly getting distracted by other things.
"So You guys got to hang out at the watch tower while they worked?" Wally gaped. "Cool! and also, why would a five year old be allowed in the watchtower if I'm not!"
"That basically answers itself!" Artemis snorted. "So what'd you do to make them kick you out and come back here?"
"We, got bored...?" Jason said.
"It's close to Robin's bed time so we needed somewhere quieter to go." Tim said quickly.
"So you brought came here?" Kaldur asked, he'd heard nothing but shouting for the past few hours.
"Why not just go home, or to the batcave or something?" Wally asked.
"We, uh..." Jason locked eyes with Tim, and then both locked eyes with Damian and Conner. Their lies were starting to catch up with them.
"It's bigger." Dick muttered. The whole team lit up with excitement that the little boy had spoken to them. He seemed kind of shy with them.
"Yeah, the mountain's pretty big." M'gann agreed, going to stand by Conner to be closer to the little boy.
Dick nodded. "Yeah."
"What grade are you in, Robin?"
"One." He said, quickly warming up to them now that he was talking. "We had to come because Dad's having sex upstairs at home."
"DI- ROBIN!" Tim shouted.
Red Hood broke into wheezing, uncontrollable laughter. His knees buckled and he fell to the floor.
"He doesn't know what that means." Damian said quickly, taking Dick from Conner's arms. The little boy looked confused, and scared that he may be in trouble. "He's just repeating what he heard Red Hood say." He growled, holding the boy protectively. "Robin. Don't say that."
He glared a Jason, who was still laughing his ass off, along with Artemis and Wally. M'gann had her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh from pure shock. She hadn't expected that at ALL!
"Only reason I like kids:" Artemis exclaimed, turning a little red from laughter. "They have NO FILTER!"
Wally fell backwards on the couch, now completely unaware of the TV, fearing his heart may stop from how hard he was laughing.
"Jay! you are a terrible influence!" Tim shouted, not bothering to censor his brother's nick name. Jason just continued to laugh. Later, he was going on the cameras and saving this footage.
The cameras.
"HOLY SHIT!" Jason exclaimed. He had the most diverse dictionary of swear words than any other eleven year old in Gotham. He stifled his laughter still. "Do you think the league is monitoring the camera's right now?!"
They all looked up at the high mounted security cameras.
Damian glared furiously at Jason, still cradling their baby brother. He turned to M'gann and Kaldur, trying not to appear nearly as mortified as he looked. "I'm going to borrow one of your spare rooms to out Robin down for the night."
"Yeah, sure thing." She panted a little, tying not to laugh. "Follow me."
-SOOO excited! There's a part coming soon that I've been conceptualizing for, like, over a week(Big for an ADHD kid)!! I'm so excited for y'all to read it-
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