I think it's time you guys knew a bit more about my life, even if you don't want to know but, I can't keep my anger, pain, and saddest in anymore, because then I'll end up cutting again and crying myself to sleep almost every night.

Literally crying. I remembered all the things my biological father did and is still doing. I'm his first child, yet I'm completely nothing to him. I don't exist in his eyes, heart, and life. He never calls on my birthday, Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, etc. He has the right to see me, but he doesn't call my mom to ask if he can see me. Then he complains that I don't want to see him, but that's not my fault if he doesn't call to see me! Sometimes I think that he regrets having me as a so called daughter, and sometimes I don't like being half Salvadorian because it remains me that I have his blood in my veins.

He has three other children. Two girls and one boy. The last time I saw him and first met his three other children was probably 3 or 4, maybe 5 years ago in March at my grandfathers, from his side, funeral. Needless to say, he hugged me and I was completely weirded out by it and after that I immediately walked over to my stepdad and hugged him.

That's why I always want Nyx's children to have a father. So they don't suffer.