CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE.
( I HAVE TO FIX.. )

     Ella - for the first time in a few weeks - let James tie her tie that morning. She still felt awkward after making out with him to get the Map but she tried not to let it bother her. Her smile widening just a little as she looked at him. Honestly, she missed this. The small intimate acts as James spoke to his friends. Ella passively observing as his fingers brushing against her skin. He was clearly not paying as much attention and she felt his hands rest against her chest as he quipped back at Sirius. Her shoulders tensed and she waited for him to move again.

     His hands relaxing more and resting against her boobs, her very sensitive boobs. As it turned out, her period had just started so her desperate want to kiss him and emotional state was heightened by about a million. Suddenly making it difficult not to spill her secrets to him. Her hormones always made her all over the place in the weeks prior to it coming and James just sitting there with his hands rested against her was not helping.

     So after a minute, she cleared her throat and James looked back at her. The boys continuing their conversation, Ella glanced down at his hands. He let out an awkward chuckle, muttering an apology before he continued with the tie. Once he had tied it, he tightened it up a little but Ella was quick to loosen it. It felt like it was suffocating her. But as they quickly both discovered, she somehow managed to undo it completely.

     "Was that on purpose?" He asked as he cocked an eyebrow. He then shuffled closer on the stool. Ella rolling her eyes at him.

     "Trust me, it wasn't. My boobs are sensitive enough without your hands being near them," Ella responded. James paused for a moment before he realised what she meant. He then took the tie off her and put over his own head, tying it on him to avoid her any discomfort.

     "Explains your mood-swings," James responded and Ella nodded. She watched him tie it and then pull it over his head, "You should spell it to be self-tying," He said as he placed it around her neck. Ella shrugged and then adjusted her tie before pulling her jumper over her head. A soft sigh escaping her lips as she pulled her cloak on too.

     "I did that once, it strangled me," Ella chuckled softly. James nodded, remembering it clearly. A smile spreading across his face, "It was not funny," Ella muttered, pouting. James shrugged and Ella rolled her eyes. She then stood up, "I'm goin' to my friends," Ella said before she turned away from James and headed down to her seat. She sat down next to Layla, her gut twisting in anxiety. She had used James to get the Marauders Map. She really should be avoiding him especially with her new-found ridiculous mood swings.

     "So you're talking again?" Lily asked as Ella sat down. She shrugged and grabbed a piece of toast from the side. She buttered it and then took a bite from it. Layla deciding to speak up on behalf of the other girl.

     "They're making out again too it seems," Layla said and Ella whacked the brunette's arm. A pout on her lips, tears practically brimming her waterline. She blinked the tears away, feeling suddenly ridiculously exposed. Her period was really ruining her day.

     "It was once so I could get the map so Layla and I could spy on my father and Professor Landon. My step-mother," Ella said as she glanced over to the staff table. Her father and step-mother sat talking happily. It made Ella want to throw up more than anything else in that moment but she tried not to pay attention to it.

     "We listened to them in the greenhouse," Layla said, "It was just before Ella apologised to both of you. We heard some rather strange things," Layla muttered. Lily cocked an eyebrow, placing her spoon back into her bowl. Now she was intrigued, Marlene disregarding her teasing of James to hear what had been said.

     "I think they're working for someone and they kept talking about me. It didn't make much sense if I'm totally honest," Ella said before she took another bite of toast. Layla nodded in agreement and before they could continue with more detail, Lily spoke.

     "If they were talking about you and it was your step-mother who gave you that bruise on your cheek as I suspect, maybe they messed with your grade. Well, your father did?" Lily proposed and Ella shook her head. She ate a little more toast before she placed the half-eaten slice down.

     "No, that wouldn't make sense. If he would have messed with my grade, he'd probably have had to be here before the end of term," Ella said, shaking her head. She grabbed her toast again and took a bite out of it. Her gaze briefly moving over to the boys who were sat on the other end of the table. Sirius sat there with a grin on his face. Remus talking to Kalia about homework it seemed. Peter admiring James and Sirius like he always did. James was laughing too and they briefly caught gazes but Ella looked away after a moment.

     "He was here. I saw him walking through the corridors before we left for the train," Marlene said and Ella stopped. Her eyebrows pulling together as she moved her gaze to Marlene before she looked to her father. Somehow that didn't make her any more convinced, it just made her angry. If was so desperate to be around his daughter, why didn't he try and speak to her before they left for Christmas.

     "That's the day that Dumbledore told me," Ella said before she looked back down at her toast. Her stomach was twisting in anxiety before she stared at her plate. Her fingers prodding at the toast before she sighed. None of this made sense and Ella didn't want to talk about it anymore. Her father could have ruined her grades but that made no sense. If he wanted to fix their relationship why would he do that? And the words he exchanged with her step-mother.

      I'm not here for that, I just want to know my daughter. I've missed half of her life and no mission you've been set is going to change that. It left Ella with so many questions and so few answers. Maybe his reasons for being here were pure but why would he mess with her grades then? Why would he let her teacher do that to her? What mission was he talking about? Who had given Professor Landon that mission? Ella didn't know what to think about quickly becoming overwhelmed with emotions. She looked down and smoothed out her cloak as she took a deep breath.

     "Are we going to Hogsmeade at the weekend?" Ella asked, interrupting the speculating that the trio were doing. Ella didn't want to cry over this, she could already feel the emotions swirling around and threatening to break free. Lily seemed taken aback by the question but nodded, a smile spreading across her face. Layla had been meaning to bring up Hogsmeade but only was reminded when Ella said it.

     "Yeah. Do you want to come with us?" Layla asked. Ella nodded, pushing a smile onto her face as she picked up the toast. She then took a bite out of it, glancing over James before she looked back to the staff table. Her father stood up and left the table, heading out of the Great Hall through the side door. Ella watched for a moment before she reengaged with the conversation. Her mind was somewhere else and she knew she needed to try and get a handle on her emotions otherwise she'd ruin everything all over again.

     "I'm gonna go and sort some things out before class. I'll see you in class," Ella said as she pushed her stool in. She let out a soft sigh, sending the girls a smile. All three of them nodding, allowing her to go. Ella barely even finished her triangle of toast but she didn't feel like eating anymore. She crossed the room and walked towards the grand staircase.

     She rushed up it and glanced from side-to-side in search of her father. She wanted to try and talk to him, just understand what was happening. Ella managed to spot his fleeting figure and she rushed after him, picking up her speed.

     Ella turned down the corridor and found her father talking to Dumbledore. She paused and just stayed back, listening to them. Their voices were hushed and quiet but she managed to make out parts of the conversation.

     "I need to speak to you."

     "Are you facing any issues with your position, Aaron?"

     "No, that's not the problem. I'd prefer if she talked about this is private."

     "And what about your students?"

     "I must say that I think this is more important than my classes, Dumbledore. You must understand that."

     "What would be more important?"

     "My daughter." But that's all Ella heard until she felt someone pull her into an alcove nearby. Her breathe was quickly lost as she was pushed against the wall. Ella was not entirely surprised to find James there, a smirk on his face as he tilted his head.

     "Why are you spying on the Headmaster?" James asked, cocking an eyebrow. Ella rolled her eyes and she felt him rest his hands on her hips. A soft smile on his face as he watched her. Ella shrugged and he pouted.

     "I just wanted to talk to my dad," Ella responded. James couldn't say he wasn't surprised by this but he tried not to show it. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and leant down to kiss her. Ella dodging away from the kiss and out of his arms. He was very much confused as he turned to look at her. He quirked an eyebrow and Ella looked off to see that her father and Dumbledore were gone, silently cursing under her breath.

     "You could at least kiss me once. I know your period makes you feel gross but you're still gorgeous to me," James said as he walked over to her. Ella rolled her eyes and stepped away from him. She took a few more steps down the corridor and checked around only to realise that Dumbledore's office was down the corridor. She cursed and threw her hands up in frustration.

     "Fuckin' 'ell, I lost 'em," Ella cursed as she turned around to see the boy. There was something akin to a pout on his face but when she went to move right past him, it turned into a frown. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

     "Hey, talk to me," James said quickly as he looked down at her. Ella shook him off and stepped away from him. His frown deepening, "Have I done something?" He asked quickly. He didn't want to ruin this again, he had finally admitted to himself that he was actually in love with her. He didn't want to ruin this anymore. He had been enough of a wanker to her.

     "You pulled me away when I was listenin' to my dad talk about me but other than that, no. Just you're fine, James," She said quickly as she looked at him. His gaze burning into hers and whether it was her hormones or her embarassment, Ella quickly found herself getting too hot. She pulled her cloak off and as she threw it over her arm. A blank piece of parchment slipped out onto the floor, "I need to get to class," Ella muttered as she stepped away from him. James nodded and let her walk away but he quickly noticed the paper.

     He reached down to pick it up but upon seeing it, he realised it was the Marauders Map. He pulled his wand out and tapped it. Surely enough, the ink returning to the paper to reveal the map. James frowned and looked up at Ella. She had been looking through his drawers and that's where he'd left the map. She had stolen it. Stolen it when she kissed him. She kissed him to get away with it but here it was. She was still lying.

     Ella didn't even notice she had lost the map. Instead just focusing on getting to her dorm, she needed to use the bathroom before heading to class. She also needed to get her schoolbag for the day. Nothing was more important to her then just getting on with the day. If she could get through the day, she would be fine.

***

     Ella had pulled the armchair to the window of the Common Room. Her arms wrapped around herself as she looked out the window. Her gaze flicking across the stars in the night sky. Gryffindor Tower always had the best views of the ground. The rest of the Common Room was still full of seventh years despite the last time.

     It was the Astronomy lesson that day and Ella had originally been with her friends but ended up just watching the stars instead. Her irritation with the loud conversations had left her frustrated. She wanted the space. Her emotions were already eating her up. Since her conversation with James the other day, he had been distant and Ella hadn't been able to find the Marauders Map. The two facts gave Ella the worst feeling but she tried not to think about it. It made it easier not to feel guilty if he wouldn't even talk to her but currently, he was at late night Quidditch practice.

     That's what Sirius said anyway and Ella hated the thought of him being out there alone. She let out a soft sigh as she heard something hit the back of her chair. Ella moved around to lean against the back, finding Sirius and Remus staring over at her. An irritated look passing over her face before she forced herself to be neutral.

     "What d'ya want?" Ella asked as she rested her arms over the back. Sirius shrugged and gestured to Remus who wanted Ella to come over. The brunette let out a soft groan and climbed out of the chair, walking over to them.

     "You said something to James? He's acting like a misery again," Remus asked. Ella shrugged and glanced over at the window that showed the Quidditch Pitch in the distance. She could just about make out someone flying around the pitch. Did James not tell Remus? She didn't want him to know that she had stolen it either frankly but it still made her feel guilty.

     "Nah, I spoke to 'im a few days but that was 'cause 'e came over to me." Ella shrugged. Remus nodded and Ella knew what she had to do. She crossed back to the chair and grabbed her cloak, pulling it over herself so it would at least in some way keep her warm, "I'll go get 'im," Ella said. Remus seemed surprised but nodded. Sirius cocking an eyebrow, "I'm 'is bestfriend remember? Don't be jealous, Sirius," Ella teased before she ruffled his hair. A smirk spreading across her lips.

     "Piss off," Sirius responded, rolling his eyes. Ella sent him a fake smile before she headed to the portrait hole. She grabbed her telescope case on the way out and then headed down to the Quidditch pitch to find him. It was a pain to try and avoid Filch despite the fact she was allowed to be out but she managed it.

     Ella walked down the hill towards the pitch and James seemed to spot her from where he was. His flying briefly stopping, Ella waved at him but there was no response. She just watched him bat a quaffle, it flew through the hoop and James quickly flew to other side, catching it before it dropped to the grass.

     Ella walked in through the entrance and watched him. He carried the quaffle down and dropped it next to the case before he dismounted his broom. The frown on his face was still evident in the gloom of the late night. The lamp he had brought with him lighting his face up a little more. Ella placed her bag down and walked over to where he was stood by the case.

     "'iya," Ella said as she watched him. He was dressed in his Quidditch robes and there was a frown on his face. His hands reaching out to put the quaffle back into the box with the bludgers and snitch. He sent her a half-smile before going back to what he was doing, "Are you ready for Astronomy?" Ella asked. James nodded his head and locked the trunk. Ella sighed and stepped back from him. Usually a situation like this wouldn't have upset her but everything was on high alert so just the lack of words was making her want to cry.

     "I need to go change, I'll meet you at the Astronomy Tower." He said, his voice dull as he picked up the box. He then moved away from her and walked towards the changing room. Ella paused as she watched him go. He knew that she had stolen the map from him, he knew that the kiss had been a distraction but it was so much more. The more Ella thought about it, the more she realised that she was too madly in love with James.

     "I didn't kiss you just to get that Map. I would never kiss you just to get that stupid map," Ella called across to him. She was going to be rash but she didn't know what else to do. James' stepped seemed to falter, his head turning slightly. His gaze briefly flicking to her. Ella let her hand drop to her sides before she spoke again, "I don't wanna ruin this. You kissed me when you were drunk and I just... I couldn't help myself. It just worked out and I wanted to kiss you. I would never use you," She said and James nodded, giving her a half-smile. He looked convinced and the light came back to his eyes a little. He then walked away from her, disappearing to the changing room. Ella rubbed her face with her hands and took a deep breath. She had a lesson to get to, they could talk more later but he seemed happier with her.

      Ella grabbed her bag and turned away from the pitch. She walked out of the pitch and noticed a black dog stood at the entrance. Sure enough it was Sirius. She didn't need him to transform back for her to recognise the look into his eyes.

     "Don't bother. It's somethin' I'm fixin'. I just need to talk to 'im after class" Ella said, looking down at him. Sirius tilted his head and Ella shrugged. She stroked his black hair before sighing, "I messed up a bit this time. Walk with me back to the Castle," Ella added. Sirius barked and she rolled her eyes at him. He then transformed into himself. Ella dropped her hand to her side as the black-haired boy appeared dressed in black clothes.

     "This is why I hate falling in love," Sirius said as he gestured forward towards the Castle. Ella began to walk, the pair walking in time with each other. His words did catch Ella off guard but she tried her best not to be too thrown off by it, "It's a lot of effort for very little reward," He shrugged. Ella rolled her eyes and adjusted her bag over her shoulder.

     "Don't tell Marlene that. She'll 'ex ya before you can even apologise," Ella said, an amused smile appearing on her face. Sirius rolled his eyes at her and let his gaze drift back to the Quidditch pitch for a moment. A frown eventually returning as he looked back to Ella.

     "What did you do?" Sirius asked, a softness that was uncharacteristic of him. It was the part of him that really did care and Ella always thought it was a privilege to see. When his goofy, confident exterior dropped and he actually exposed how much he truly cared. Years in a pure-blood family clearly made him cautious to act like that.

     "It was nothin'. I just took somethin'," Ella shrugged. Sirius smirked at that, clearly thinking of a quip but he decided against saying it. Instead he let his face drop back to neutrality, wanting more from her, "I took the Map 'cause I wanted to spy on my dad. But well, he walked in and saw me lookin' in his drawers. I lied to say why I was there 'cause you're all so protective of that bloody map. I kissed him to stop him from findin' me hidin' it behind my back," Ella admitted as she stared down at the floor. She kicked some grass as she went. The silence of the night wrapping around her as Sirius processed what was happening. She definitely had not finished the story.

     "And he found out you'd stole it?" Sirius asked. Ella nodded as adjusted the cloak over her shoulders. Sirius sighed softly, "And he thinks the kiss meant nothing more than a distraction?" He questioned. Ella - once again - nodding in response. Sirius sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. She definitely messed up and Sirius didn't know how to tell her nicely.

     "I don't know how to tell 'im that it meant something. I'm not good with grand gestures or declarations of love," Ella said as she stared at the ground. The two crossing to the stairs that lead back up to the castle entrance. Sirius scoffed at her words and moved his gaze to her face. The dim light from the castle highlighting the incredulous look on his face, "I dunno what to say," Ella shrugged as they took the steps up.

     "Whatever you usually do," Sirius shrugged. Arriving at the doors of the castle and they promptly slipped through, checking for anyone around. Both of their voices moving to a lower volume since they weren't really supposed to be walking around the Castle in the middle of the night. It was Astronomy but Sirius should have been in bed already. They paused at the corridor. They exchanged quick fairwells before Ella headed towards the Astronomy Tower. She could hear footsteps behind her as she walked up the tower. It was no doubt James but she had no idea what to even say to him when they got up to class. She didn't have the words to express what she wanted to say.

     So, she just tried to put it to one side. She sat in her usual spot and tried her best to put her telescope together. James appeared a few minutes later and surprisingly, took his spot across from her. He watched her struggle and rather than leaving her to do so, he leant over and began to help her put it together like he always did.

     There was still an eerie silence between them but Ella couldn't help but feel relieved. He wasn't annoyed at her at all. In fact, he seemed like he wanted to kiss her but didn't do anything yet. Not quite yet.

***

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 !  okay okay, here's twenty-three!! i am already semi-prepared for being people possibly being mad at james and i do not want that, my boy is just hurt smh. anyway, i loved this chapter purely for the different side of sirius we see and my girls are coming together to discuss her parents, generally quite a fun lil chapter and i promise, the next one will have less angst! my babies will be happy, i swear <3 i hope you enjoyed!