The last exam of the week was done. Muggle Studies was Ella's last exam and it was surprisingly easy even if the anxiety still lingered in her gut. It was making her gut twist but she knew that it was done now and she couldn't change a thing. Remus was next to her as they exited. The two had been comparing answers for the past few minutes but now that they were out of the Great Hall. The groups of students who also completed the exam around them, she wanted nothing more than to stop discussing it.

     "How long are we havin' to wait?" Ella asked, looking up to him, "For the results?" She clarified, cutting off whatever he was saying. Though he didn't seem to mind and his gaze flicked from the floor to Ella's face. A small smile appearing.

     "Not long. We just got out of the exam, Ella. Take some time to relax," He said softly as he looked into her eyes. Ella shrugged and ran her fingers through her hair. She knew she was overly stressing and really she should just let it calm down for a bit but she couldn't help but think about. She wanted to know what she got, she wished she didn't have to wait so long.

     "I just wanna know my grade. You know how much these have been stressin' me out," Ella muttered. Remus nodded and then directed them towards the common room. The Great Hall would take a little while to be set up for the Feast so Remus could at least take this time to talk to Ella about everything that had been going on.

     "You didn't stop writing for the whole exam. You'll have passed, easily," Remus responded. Ella shrugged it off and then turned the corridor. The rest of the students were still swarmed around them. Footsteps echoing off the wall as Ella shoved her hands in her pockets. There were kids chatting loudly about exams behind her so she quickly spotted an empty corridor and darted for it. Remus not far behind despite his confusion.

     "Hey, what's up?" Remus asked quickly as Ella tried her best to speed away. Heading towards the door, it led to a quiet disused room with a window that had a beautiful view of the castle. She didn't even bother to respond until they were both inside. The window seemed to be open and letting a breeze through the room. The room was freezing but it was good, Ella could finally breathe properly.

     "M'sorry. I couldn't 'andle all the talk," Ella chuckled, trying to brush it off. The various answers she could hear flying around were making her second guess everything she had written on the paper. She couldn't deal with it, she needed the quiet which is exactly what the room gave her.

     "You'll have done brilliant, Ella," Remus said as he looked down at her. The brunette pacing across the room before finally sitting on the table by the window. Remus finally looked around and realised that it was a disused classroom. A dusty chalkboard and various desks and tables spread out across the room. He didn't know how she knew this room existed but he had a pretty good idea, "Do you come here with James?" Remus asked after a moment. James had been a topic that they had rarely discussed in the past few weeks and hearing it now of all times, made Ella huff.

     "Sometimes. It's quiet and nobody comes 'ere. Not even Filch. Do ya have a problem with that?" Ella asked, cocking an eyebrow. Her tone was harsher than she had expected it to be. She didn't want to be cruel to Remus. He was only looking out for her after all but she couldn't help but be frustrated. She felt like they were always trying to ruin her life even if they were just getting her to be honest and brave like any Gryffindor should be.

     "No," Remus said and his words seemed to die on his tongue as he looked out the window. A soft sigh escaped his lips. His breath appearing in the air. It was December and it was only getting colder, not that either of them really noticed. They had been sat in a cold exam room for the last hour or two. They were used to it.

     "I haven't told 'im. I dunno when I will but I don't wanna ruin the friendship we 'ave. Not now, not before Christmas. My mum likes to spend time at the Potter's over Christmas and if I say something now, Christmas will be ruined. So, just, give me time. I will tell 'im," Ella said, clearing the air before Remus could lecture her or ask. She knew she should have said at the start of term but she was scared. Now, she was at least aware of the fact that she couldn't hide it and needed to tell him. She was able to comprehend the severity of her lie and was willing to stand-up and finally be brave. But not yet. Not before Christmas. She wanted one more blissful holiday with them together.

     "Okay." Remus said as he looked back at her. Ella's gaze flicking back to the window. Watching as the snow began to fall down. The flakes swirling and falling to the grass. She often wondered what it would be like to be a bird or a snowflake. Something so insignificant to everyone around them. Something so free. Not restrained by feelings or anxieties or society. Just living their life. She wished she could be like them but she couldn't. It was impossible for her.

     "Sirius is legal now. So he's got us some fire-whiskey, beer and brandy. Some wine too. If you want to celebrate with us, there's a party going on. After the feast, to celebrate the end of the term and finishing the practice exams," Remus explained. Ella nodded, grinning. She knew that there would be some sort of party. Gryffindor were notorious for them and if she was going to do anything that night, she was going to get drunk before returning home.

     "'Course." Ella said as she stood up, "Let's go to the common room," She muttered. Remus nodded and the two began to head back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Remus managed to run into Peter on the way. Lily appearing from nowhere as they walked back. The two girls quickly began talking. The boys walking ahead and talking animatedly about one thing or another. Ella couldn't help but smile as Lily talked about the exam.

     The two of them quickly realising that most of the answers they wrote were the same. A grin on Ella's lips as they walked into the dorm. The Marauders were already taking over a couch. Sirius grinning as he gestured to the alcohol he had managed to smuggle into Hogwarts. Ella was sure that all of it would be gone by the night. Someone would end up throwing up from being drunk and someone would most likely pass out. Ella wasn't entirely sure if she wanted one of them to be her but with the mischevious glint in Sirius eye, she was sure she would be.

     Lily dragged Ella over to Marlene and Layla who were sat near the fire. Layla lying across the rug with her arms covering her face. Marlene chuckling and nudging her arm with her feet. Ella dropped next to Marlene on the couch and when Lily sat down too, Marlene stopped.

     "What've you done to Lay?" Ella asked as she looked to Marlene. The girl was still smirking as Layla rolled over and sat up. She knelt down and looked at Ella, a small pout on her lips. Ella chuckled and then glanced at Lily who couldn't help but smile too.

     "Marlene was just being a tosser about the exam." Layla said, slapping Marlene on the leg before she sat back down. Her hands resting in her lap, "How did the rest of you do anyway?" Layla asked though her gaze landed on Ella. Clearly, the girl was curious to whether Ella's concerns had been valid. Ella thought that they had been but Layla was always opposing her.

     "They're exams," Ella shrugged as she moved to lay her legs across Marlene's lap. Her head rested against the armrest and her feet a few inches from Lily's lap. The redhead glancing down at Ella's shoes before meeting Layla's gaze. The fringed-girl nodded and Lily was quick to pull Ella's shoes off, throwing them to Layla, "You wanker." Ella said, pulling her legs back. However, Marlene had already grabbed a hold of them.

     "I'm not your leg rest, Woods," Marlene smirked and Ella was quick to kick her. Scrambling off the couch and jumping at Layla. The brunette just about managing to climb and run away, shoes in hand. Ella let out a frustrated shout and climbed to her feet, running after Layla. Marlene and Lily already laughing at the pair of them.

     Ella's socks were beginning to fall down as she bounded after her best friend. Doing two loops of the common room before the familiar shout of Sirius made Ella realise what was about to happen. In a last ditch attempt to get them back, Ella jumped onto Layla's back. The shoes already in Sirius' hand as the two of them collided with the floor.

     Ella then sat up, slapping Layla's back who was giggling and laughing uncontrollably. Ella couldn't help but laugh too as she climbed off her friend. Layla pushing herself to her feet. Ella pouting a little now as she looked over to Sirius who had a casual hold on her shoes.

     "I thought you were tryin' to get on my good side, Black," Ella said as she walked towards him. Walking between the armchair and sofa. James was sat on the armchair. Remus, Peter and Sirius sat along the sofa. Sirius smirking a little wider as he watched her. Waiting to see what would happen. She held her hand out and Sirius stood up, lifting them out of her reach.

     "There's no chance that you are getting these back, Woods," He responded and she scoffed. She jumped up in an attempt to grab them but her fingers just missed them. Ella really hated how tall all the Marauders seemed to be. Just too tall for her to grab anything that they were keeping from her. It was beyond frustrating.

     "I'll tackle you," Ella said as she watched Sirius step away from the sofa. He was clearly going to go for it. He shrugged in response to her words, smirking as he looked at her. Ella then went to jump at him until she felt two hands around her waist. She was then being pulled backwards away from Sirius and she began to kick her feet out, wanting to get out of their strong hold. A chuckle escaping their lips as they stepped back, falling into the armchair.

     Ella whined and tried to push herself out but they had their arms wrapped around her waist. His face buried in her neck, "It's just me, calm down," James whispered in her ear. Ella pouted and looked back at him. Still trying to get out of his grip but he was holding her tighter. He chuckled as he watched her pout more.

     "I'm bein' ganged up on!" Ella whined as she tried to push back, pushing against his chest. James chuckled and let her go. The brunette almost stumbling into the table full of alcohol bottles. James pulling her back before she dropped onto them. Ella then looked around for Sirius seeing the back of him running up to the boy's dorm. She let out a frustrated groan, escaping from James and sprinting up after him.

     She followed his shadow right into the Marauder's room. A place she was familiar with. The curtains were almost always closed. Three of the five beds were messy. Remus and their other roommate was the only one who even bothered to clean up. All the five beds were distinctive to each person, however. James covered in Quidditch posters. Remus had various textbooks and schoolbooks. Sirius had the prank objects. Peter's was plain and the last boy seemed to have some obsession with different magical creatures so had pictures and books of them on his bed. Ella could never remember his name but as she stood in the room, she could clearly see Sirius stood in front of James' bed. A smirk on his lips.

     "Give 'em back, Sirius," Ella said as she looked up at the boy. His shaggy hair pushed back as he chuckled, panting softly. Ella was panting too but she was more bothered about her shoes. She didn't even know where her other pair were and if she had even packed them. Her mother probably expected her not to ruin or lose her shoes.

     "Answer me one question first," He said and Ella sighed. She nodded slightly as she walked over to him. Her hands resting by her side as she now stood within a few steps of him. A smirk on his lips as he kept the shoes just out of her reach, above her head, "Have you been hooking up with James?" Sirius asked. Ella stopped dead, her face dropping as she stared at the boy. What the hell was she supposed to say to that? But it didn't seem like she needed to say anything based on the face Sirius pulled, "My Merlin, he finally got over Lily, huh?" Sirius asked as she snatched her shoes back. She stepped back and began to put them on.

     "He's still in love with Lily, Sirius. I'm nothin' but a fuck to 'im. Alright?" Ella said as she adjusted her feet in her shoes. She then pulled her socks back up over her calves. A soft sigh escaping her lips, her frown even more evident now. Sirius watched, unsure how to react. He didn't say a word. Instead, he let Ella walk back down to the common room where she collapsed next to Marlene. Her change in mood evident. Marlene teasing her but when they realised she was in mood, they stopped. Turning to normal conversation before heading off to the celebration Feast.

***

     The celebration feast for the end of exams was finished by now. All the students had long returned to their dorms with most of them attending various parties that were occuring. The Gryffindor parties had always been known for their raucous behaviour and ridiculous amounts of drinking. Something that was still abundantly clear in this party.

     Ella had tried to set herself apart from it. Sitting in one of the armchair that had been pushed to one side. A single bottle of beer in hand as she observed from afar. The music was loud and Ella could barely make out any voices over the top of it. But she could tell that people were talking, her gaze flicking over the various dancing bodies.

     Her gaze then landing on a cluster of people tucked away behind the protection of a few sofas. She could just about make out Sirius' head lolling to the side as he let out something akin to a groan. Ella wasn't sure from this far and then he looked back, making eye contact with her. A mischievous smile appearing on his lips as he said something to the group before he stood.

     He practically swaggered over to her. His smirk growing as Ella quickly realised she had no escape. So, she finished off her beer in one swig and prepared for whatever the boy was going to say. She had no doubt that he would ask her to join their game of spin the bottle. Something that she didn't particularly feel like doing. Kissing a lot of other people felt like a bad idea at a party like this.

     "Come and join our game. We're playing never have I ever," Sirius said as he offered a hand out to her. Ella stared for a moment, tilting her head slightly as she thought it through. How bad could the game go really? She would probably just admit a few things without much detail, leaving everyone to wonder. That was a lot better than truth or dare.

     "Fine," Ella said as she grabbed his hand. Sirius hauled her up, a grin on his lips as they walked back over to the group. Sirius decided - this time- to sit on the floor with the others. The Marauders, Lily, Marlene and Layla were all sat down there. Ella being forced to sit right between James and Lily much to the curly-haired boy's dismay.

     As she sat down, she watched Sirius take seven shot glasses out from underneath the sofa. A few bottles of vodka coming out with it. He smirked as he placed them down, filling the shot glasses up. Ella was suddenly regretting her choice to join the game but she couldn't back down now. She was enjoying the time with her friends and didn't want to leave them again.

     "So, for those who haven't played, you have to say something you have never done and whoever else in the game has done it, has to take a shot. You don't always have to say something you have never done but if you want to avoid taking shots, that is what I'd advise," Sirius explained. His words slightly slurred but they were loud enough to be heard over the blasting music that was being slightly dulled out by the sofas around them.

     The game began quickly after that. It started with Remus and then moved around the circle. Peter, James, Ella, Lily, Layla, Marlene and then finally back to Sirius. Most of the questions had been relatively normal and innocent until it found it's way to Sirius. He was clearly getting bored with the simple questions as a smirk spread across his lips.

     "Never have I ever kissed someone the same gender as me," He said. Everyone in the group bar Ella reached out and took their shot. Ella had already taken two shots as is but as she watched everyone else take one, she felt oddly left out. It felt strange that everyone she knew had kissed someone the same gender as them but she hadn't. Had she missed that part of life? Her gaze flicked from each person, her mind quickly coming up with ideas of who had kissed who.

     Peter struck her as the most unlikely, the boy was mostly quiet so she really had no clue. Remus, Sirius and James were almost no surprise. They had likely kissed each other. Neither was Lily or Marlene really. It didn't surprise her but Layla did. Was Layla not telling Ella something? Had Ella missed something in their friendship.

     "Ella hasn't kissed a girl. Well that's good for us," Sirius smirked. His gaze flicking between the boy's. Remus and Peter rolling their eyes while James just looked at Ella. He was unsure what to even say and then something hit him. Was James Ella's first kiss? He had no idea but this surely made him wonder if that was the truth.

     "Not for long," Lily smirked as she turned Ella's face away from the group. Lily looked into her eyes, conveying the question that Ella simply nodded to. The redhead's smirk widened before she pulled Ella into a kiss. Her hands cupping Ella's cheek and kissing her passionately, slightly aggressively. Ella was taken aback by it but was quick to respond. Letting Lily slid her tongue into Ella's mouth to explore it before pulling back when they were both breathless.

     Lily pulled back first, sitting back down again. A self-satisfied grin on her lips before she glanced over at Layla. A small pout on the girl's lips which made Lily wink at her. Marlene looked to her friend and then Ella who still seemed breathless.

     "That's going in Sirius' wank bank," Marlene snickered before he glared at her. It was playful and clearly, she was right. He rolled his eyes and then gestured for the shot glass. Ella then reached out, taking the shot. Her throat burned with the taste, her eyes squeezing shut before she placed it down. Four shots and two beers. Ella was practically gone now but rather than letting her tongue be loose, she was trying to keep her mouth just as much as possible.

     The game continued after that revelation for another round. Ella having downed eight shots by that point and she tapped out. She could barely think or walk straight. Her words far too slurred and her accent only becoming more prominent as she stared off. Ella then attempted to stand up, her hand using the chair as support but she promptly nearly fell over.

      James chuckled and was the one to stand up and help her stay upright. He wanted to talk to her anyway and hoped that she would be able to still speak as he guided her away from the group. James had high tolerance for alcohol as it was but he also hadn't taken as many shots as Ella. So was walking perfectly fine as he guided her upstairs.

     His hands were holding her waist keeping her steady as she watched him. Her smile appearing only wider as she admired his face. His concerned smile. His furrowed eyebrows. That adorable little scrunched up look he had when he was trying to work something out. She wished she had her wand with her just so she could silencio herself and stop whatever words were bound to pour out. She wouldn't remember any of it in the morning but she knew she was going to say something dumb.

     As the two walk into Ella's dorm, she manages to move away. Staggering towards her bed, falling backwards on it before she rolled over. They were in the comfort of her dorm, the door closed behind them. James had closed it and was now walking over to her. He needed to make sure she was okay. He was worried. For her, for everything.

     "Are you okay?" He asked as he came to sit next to her. The brunette rolled over. A dazed half-smile on her lips as she looked up at him. Admiring him, the sheer adoration evident in her gaze. Her hands resting against the covers as she watched him. His hand came down to gently push some hair out of her face.

     "M'fine, you're 'ere. Of course, m'fine. God I couldn't live without ya," Ella chuckled before she pushed herself to sit up. Her hand reached out to cup his face but he took a hold of it and gently placed her hand in her lap again. He stood up and then crossed the room to the water jug, filling a glass up with water. She needed to sober up a little more, "James..." She muttered. He turned around, giving her a smile before he sat down. He coaxed her into drinking some water, Ella reluctantly taking it from him.

     "Was I the first person you kissed? Is that why you were so hesitant at the start?" He asked softly. His hand holding the back of her head and allowing her to sip a little more before he pulled it away. Ella stared at him for a moment, feeling her gut twisting. She knew she shouldn't admit what she was about to but her brain wasn't quick enough to stop them spilling out.

     "Yeah, you were. First person I ever kissed and loved. Like really, properly loved. It's weird. I loved and still love 'avin' sex with ya but all I want is more of ya. Your 'ands to be on me all the time. Your arms wrappin' around me, cuddlin' me at night and kissin' me in the corridors. Holdin' my 'and even when everyone is lookin'. It's just, I am totally in fuckin' love with ya and I don't know what to do anymore. It's scary. Like proper scary." She rambled. Her words coming out without any thought of the consequence. James sat there for a moment, just looking at her. Any of the buzz the alcohol had left was now gone. He was only left with a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched her. He then shook his head, chuckling, laughing it off but Ella didn't join in.

     "You're having me on, aren't you? Sirius set you up to this right," He asked. An apprehensive smile on his lips as he watched her. Ella shook her head, tilting her head slightly. Looking into his eyes, unsure what she was going to say. Even Ella was unsure but her words just seemed to come out with very little thought from her.

     "Why would I be sayin' that to you and not mean it? Layla and Remus have spent weeks trying to get me to admit. Well, Layla months but that's not the point. They wouldn't do that to ya. Sirius is a wanker, I'll give ya that but 'e wouldn't do that to you." Ella said, letting her words run away with her. Her hands in her lap before she just sighed. A small frown spreading across her lips. Some part of her knew she shouldn't have said what she had but there would be no part of her that remembered her drunken words.

     "You're bombed-out. You don't mean any of this," Jame said as he lifted the glass back to her lips. His head shaking slightly as he tried to convince himself his words were true. He didn't want to know they were true. He didn't want to believe it because if he did, then he would have to stop what they had. He'd have to break her heart and he couldn't do that. Ella was his best friend. He wanted that to never change but this... it changed everything.

     "Whatever ya say," Ella muttered as she took another long sip. But before she could take another, she felt her stomach lurch. The panic in her eyes was obvious to James instantly. He pulled the glass away and watched as she staggered into the bathroom. Her hand pulling the seat up before she threw up. The contents of the feast coming out as she hurled. Her eyes watering and the crying promptly starting due to the burning in her throat. The vodka coming back up.

     James had discarded the glass and was now sat next to her. His hand holding back her hair as he tried his best to comfort her but he didn't know what to say anymore. Her words had thrown him through a loop and as she threw up, heaving. All he could do was try and be there for her. They had been best friends since they were little. He couldn't just stop that now... not yet. Not when she needed him most.

     He stayed with her until she had eventually felt better. He then proceeded to give her some more water and he tucked her into bed. The brunette already asleep by the time he had finished. His gaze lingered on her for a moment, unsure what to think anymore. His best friend was in love with him. She wasn't lying... it was just the truth. She had said it far too many times for it to be a joke. The way she had been acting over the past few weeks suddenly making sense.

     Ella-Rose Woods was in love with James Potter and he had no idea what he was supposed to do about it.

***

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ! DUN DUN DUNNNNNnnnnn, okay the dramatics really came out in this chapter but what will happen next chapter? will ella remember or will she have been too drunk to remember what happened? also got some insight into ella and james' relationship a little and lily being the lesbian queen she always has been, like lowkey kinda like how this chapter turned out?? idkkk hope you enjoyed ig??