TW: suicide

***

"Jongho and Yunho spent December break together, as always, playing in the snow and burning incense cuddled up together at night (much to Mama's dismay, she didn't like the smell, but Hye-jin allowed it).

Jongho one morning, for possibly the first time ever, woke up first and waited in Yunho's arms until he, too, joined the living.

'Good morning, Little Bear.' The older whispered.

'Hyung,' Jongho whispered back, scrunching his nose. 'You need to brush your teeth.' Jongho giggled holding his nose.

Yunho rolled his eyes, it was becoming a habit lately. "Ya! And you think you don't?" He tickled the younger until they both fell out of bed, onto the floor, twisted in blankets.

'Jongho-ah~' Yunho whined, 'your floor is co~old.'

Jongho dragged himself across the floor, with Yunho still holding his waist, over to their slippers. 'It's probably warmer downstairs.' Next he dragged them both over his desk chair where their sweaters draped.

'Hyung!' Jongho was louder now. 'You're going to have to let go, I can't drag you down the stairs. . .Well I could,' he mused, 'but it wouldn't be pretty.'

Yunho just shook his head against his Soul's back. 'I'm always pretty.'

'Not in a morgue you're not.'

When Yunho didn't reply, Jongho started pulling them toward the door as the older tried, and failed, to stifle his giggles. 'Wait, wait, Jongho. Teeth first.'

After the bathroom, they walked downstairs and the older greeted his Soul's parents. Yunho had spent his life with Eomeoni and Mama Choi, so they were, not like his family, but his family. Yunho knew his own appa and eomma felt the same about Jongho; they were each their parents' second sons.

Mama decided she wanted an 'american' breakfast for the last day of break, so she, Hye-jin, and Jongho cooked the pancakes, eggs, and bacon, while Yunho focused all his energy, for some unknown reason, on a salad. No cooking involved.

After Yunho set their table, the little family sat down to eat, and what a meal that was. They only ate the salad to make Yunho happy.

At the end, plates were passed under table so the leftovers could be enjoyed to the fullest by Minho, Han, and Chris, the Choi's three kittens.

'Hyung,' Jongho called out, pulling on his coat, "carry me!"

And of course, Yunho obliged.

Jongho jumped into his Soul's back and the two left through the front door, leaving Mama and Eomma happily inside.

'Where are we off to, Little Bear?'

Jongho squeezed tighter, for some reason, today, he was giddy with excitement at hearing the well-known pet name.

'Let's go play in the snow!'

Yunho smiled, biting his lip. He was so happy his love was acting so well, so full of life.

So, like when the two were mere children, they fell back into the soft crystals and flailed their limbs, giving the impression of angels.

'Jongho-ah, catch!' But as the younger turned he was hit with a mound of snow to the face. He began to cry.

Yunho bounded over, profusely apologizing, but he should've known. . .he really was to sweet for his own good, because as soon as Yunho put a comforting hand on Jongho's shoulder, he was tackled to the ground.

'Jongho! You- - we don't have enough clothes on for th-his!' But with Yunho's broken plea covered in laughter, it wasn't paid much attention.

Spluttering out snow, Yunho finally flipped the two around; he was met with Jongho's innocent eyes. 'Why hello there, Hyung.'

'Ohhhh no, uh uh,' the older laughed, 'Don't even try to act cute now.'

Jongho gasped. 'But aren't I cute?' He was pouting.

And when could Yunho ever resist? 'Of course, my love, you're adorable.' He kissed the younger's forehead before climbing up and pulling Jongho after him.

'I'm c-cold.' Jongho whined while Yunho rolled his eyes. 'And who's fault is that?'

But Jongho only smirked. 'If I recall correctly, you're the one who started a snow fight.'

Yeah, yeah, Yunho bit his lip and squated so Jongho could climb back on.

The taller was warmed from the walk but Jongho only shivered on his back. Though when Yunho suggested Jongho try out his own legs to warm up, he was only squeezed tighter.

Bursting through the front door after a struggle with the handle, Yunho shouted for his Soul's mothers. 'Eomeoni! Mama! You have raised a demon child.'

'Ya, Jongho~' He started wriggling in the younger's death grip. 'Get-- oh my gosh! Kid! Get off me!' But with so much laughter, Jongho only slid to the floor.

Eomma walked in and ran over to her boys. 'Jongho-ah! You're so flushed! Are you cold, baby?'

Baby was right.

Jongho nodded as he looked up at his mother with such sad, hurt eyes that Yunho almost believed him.

'See?!' The older scoffed. 'Demon child I tell you.'

'Ya!' Hye-jin hit him. 'Says the one who looks perfectly warm.'

Yunho couldn't believe his eyes as he looked down at his Soul. His built, athletic, grown up Soul who now looked so childish and small sitting on the floor.

'He wouldn't walk.' Yunho huffed. And as Eomma turned away, Jongho stuck his tongue out at him.

Yunho crouched down, threatening close to the younger's face. 'You've been an only child for far too long, Little Bear.'

Hye-jin laughed at the scene before her and realized, 'Wait, Yun-ah, if he wouldn't walk, did you carry him all the way?' After Yunho confirmed, she shook her head. 'Demon child indeed.'

Mama and Jongho made them a hot lunch to warm up and, after, the boys retired to Jongho's room.

Putting on a jazz record, one that Yunho had come to accept, they came together and swayed to the non-existent beat.

Arms encircling each other, chest to chest. . .

'I'm sorry,' Jongho mumbled and Yunho pulled away to look at him, confused. He laughed. 'What in the world for?'

Jongho rested his head back on the taller's chest, continuing to move them. 'For not wanting to love you back, when we were kids. I knew how you felt before you told me,' he confessed. 'I really don't know-- don't know why it took so long.'

Stroking his love's soft hair, Yunho smiled softly. 'I don't regret anything with you, Jongho. I'm so immensely thankful we found each other as children, even if we didn't know what it meant at the time. Looking back I don't mind the fighting, the time we weren't together, because it made us stronger. Ugh,' he laughed. 'Our bond works, Jongho-ah, and we're barely twenty. Have you met anyone else like that?"

Jongho shook his head, never. 'I love you so much, Yun-ah.' And it sounded like he had tears in his eyes.

'Hey, love, are you alright?' Yunho tried to see his face, but Jongho only held tighter.

'Yes,' he breathed. 'Perfect.'

The bell rang for dinner and the two slowly, reluctantly, parted. Jongho slipped his hand into the older's as they headed downstairs.

Yunho would spend the night but had to leave early in the morning for class. A few hours later, Wheein would fly out for a conference, Hye-jin accompanying her.

But not yet.

Now they were together.

That night, Jongho lay awake. He was happy. Really freaking happy. And that made him scared. But he was wearing the hoodie Yunho had given him. The older had started wearing cologne for him, too. As Jongho slowly breathed in the scent of the man in his arms (Yunho wanted to be little spoon that night), he drifted to sleep.

Yunho awoke him hours later with soft kisses. 'Good morning, Jongho.'

As he opened his eyes, the younger saw that his Soul was now dressed for uni and leaning over the bed; the sun was still sleeping. Jongho wrapped his arms around Yunho's neck and pulled him to his chest with a 'humph.'

Pulling Jongho up to a seated position on the side of the bed, Yunho kneeled between his thighs. He pressed his lips to the sleepy boy's. 'I'll see you on the weekend, okay?' he confirmed, softly smiling. 'And we can call every day.'

Jongho knew the drill.

'I love you, Yun-ah,' he whispered against his lips. He lent down to kiss Yunho's soul mark, before meeting Yunho's lips for a last time, melding their lips slowly.

And then Yunho smiled, 'I love you, my Little Bear.' He kissed Jongho's forehead, and was gone.

After lunch, Mama and Eomma left for the airport.

Jongho spent the day alone.

He called Yunho that night, but slept alone. He didn't have class the next day, either, so he stayed home, with his thoughts. That night was a bad one. His head was acting up. Jongho put on a record but the music made him began to cry. Something was so very wrong, but Jongho didn't stop to think about it, that maybe he could wait just another day; just wait till the weekend.

He went to the bathroom, and opened a bottle; Choi Jongho, it said, 30 mil, take once daily.

It was a sixty day supply.

That night, Yunho woke from his sleep from a pain in his stomach, in his eyes, in his throat. He felt so extremely excruciating nauseous. He felt like his insides were trying to come out, that they were angry with him.

He knew it was the bond; he knew what was happening. Yunho felt him-- he- -he felt J-Jongho. . ."

Yunho sighed, whiping his tears as he broke the story.

But with red, flowing eyes, Yeosang continued. "You felt him die."

His uncle was quiet for a moment. "Jongho was beautiful," he breathed, "even in the morgue."

***

A/N: 1-9-22. a moment of silence 🤧😭 and tissues all round. ugh. the amouNT OF TIMES I stopped and started while writing this. Feel like it should be 10,000 words for the amount of time it took. just tears.

even tho most of the chap is fluff.

But don't worry! It gets happy! I'll post this and the next chap together so the pain doesn't last

1-13-22 omg we're #1 in #birthmark 🥺

Also: I love Zoe Wees and THIS SONG, this is 2Ho's song 😭 the lyrics- dead on

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