The next morning I decided to get help from Magnus. This time I knocked at the door. He opened immediately.

Magnus: "Come in, my precious. Alec just left. Want some coffee? A cocktail?"

Freja: "Honestly a coffee would be nice."

I had trouble falling asleep. The thoughts didn't want to leave my mind and kept me awake.

Magnus: "What is burning on your soul? What do you want to talk about?"

Freja: "You need to promise me something... Don't tell anybody about anything that I'll tell you now."

Magnus: "You have my word."

Freja: "I want to know if I'm immortal."

Magnus: "And how do you think you can find that out?"

Freja: "I will try to die." Magnus looked surprised.

Magnus: "I know that you never really appreciated life. But that's a really really really bad idea."

Freja: "I need to find out. I'll grow older. I mean, how did I become that old, I have no idea. I just don't know what to do."

Magnus: "Warlocks just stop getting older at some certain point in their life. We could just wait some time and we'll see."

Freja: "I am inpatient. I don't want to wait."

Magnus: "I know that you are. How do you want to try it out?"

Freja: "I'm probably more or less a vampire. I shouldn't die if someone stabs me."

Magnus: "Freja, no."

Freja: "Magnus, yes."

Magnus: "I swear, if you ever try to do anything in that direction I'll tie you to a chair with fire-proof ropes. Why won't you just enjoy your life? Why do you always need that danger, that pain?" He cupped my face and looked into my eyes. "My dear magical child of the night, you don't dare to die. You can't do this to Raphael."

Freja: "Okay." Again I felt guilty.

After I left I just pretended like nothing happened. Waiting... That's all I could do.

When I came back to the Hotel Dumort, Raphael was still asleep. It was not that easy for him to change his whole sleeping cyclus. I decided to make him coffee and breakfast in the kitchen. Someone joined me company. It was Simon. From time to time he joined us here in the hotel, even though he was not really a part of the clan. He had a lot of connections to the werewolves. His best friend is Clary, a nephilim. He got rushed into this world too. He did not really have a choice. He just wanted Clary to be save. I liked him and his understanding of friendship. He would die for Clary... he basically did die for her.

Simon: "You are getting a housewife now? That went down quickly." He laughed.

Freja: "What? No. I'm just trying to be nice." I needed to laugh too.

Simon: "Would you so nice and make me a coffee too?" He looked at me like a puppy.

Freja: "If you stop looking at me like that, yes. You're not a puppy-werewolf. You are a vampire. Behave like one."

Simon: "How can you actually be son confident with all of this? My whole world was breaking apart when this whole downworlder thing started..." He looked curious.

Freja: "When you don't have a functional and good world there is nothing to fall apart. It's that easy."

Simon: "So the world of demons and killing was a good addition to your life?"

Freja: "We all have our own demons, if we believe it or not. At least they show up now. And it's not so much killing than I thought. I just saw Jace kill a demon once. That was it."

I gave him a cup of coffee. He thanked me and emptied it almost immediately. Some minutes later he left again.

I went back to the bedroom and laid next to Raphael, pulling his head closer to my chest, kissing his forehead and fondling his hair. He growled and slowly opened his eyes. The moment he saw me he began so smile, looping his arm around my waist. We enjoyed the moment some longer until he was fully awake. He straight went to the kitchen and was actually surprised that I made breakfast. I just knew that he was the man that I wanted to spend my entire life with. And I hope it is going to be a long life.

Again we spend our day on the streets of New York. The topic from this morning with Magnus was still stuck in my head. I never wanted Raphael to find out that I considered trying to kill myself just because I wanted to find out if I am immortal.

Tonight there would be a conference of the vampire clan and I decided to not join in and instead visit the institute once again. After I went inside Alec showed up, grinning from one ear to another.

Freja: "My friend, you had an amazing night with Magnus I suppose."

Alec: "Don't say that too loud." He was still grinning tho. "What are you up to?"

Freja: "Nothing honestly. I was just a bit bored. Raphael is busy."

Alec: "We just finished training and I'm on my way to Magnus. But Izzy and Jace are still there. They will be happy to see you."

I nodded and went to Jaces room. The door was open and Jace sat onto his bed. I knocked onto the door frame. He turned around and looked surprised.

Jace: "Little girl, nice to see you. Didn't expect you here. Come in, sit down. Where's Raphael?"

Freja: "At a vampire conference. Those are too boring. I don't attempt."

Jace: "A leader needs to attempt tho. One day you will probably lead the clan with Raphael together."

Freja: "Nah, that still has some time."

Just now I could see that his eyes were swollen. It looked like he cried.

Freja: "Jace, are you alright?"

Jace: "Yeah, for sure."

I could hear his heartbeat. It became faster. Lie.

Freja: "You are not telling the truth."

Jace: "Why would you know?" He looked surprised and a bit grumpy.

Freja: "I can hear your heartbeat."

Jace: "Oh yeah, right... Vampire and that stuff. It's just... complicated."

I looked at him with a questioning impression.

Jace: "It's Clary. She does not really spend time with me anymore. Only if we need to get on missions. She just hangs out with Simon."

Freja: "Simon is not interested in Clary, you know that? He has a huge crush on Izzy."

Jace: "Well, it's easy said... I just don't know what I should do."

He turned away and I knew he was about to cry again. I put my hand on his shoulder.

Freja: "Hey, I don't know what you are going through right now but I am sure it will be fine. Just..."

I could not speak further. He suddenly turned around and pressed his lips onto mine.