Five Years Ago

Birds chirped softly within the peaceful, grassy grounds behind the mansion. The trees were bathed in golden light from the late afternoon sun, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves, casting a warm, serene glow over the estate.

Sebastian and I stood facing each other, each holding a bo staff made from oak. A weapon I'd chosen from the armoury when asked to pick one.

I'd been with Sebastian for months, and in that time, we'd spent countless hours visiting his pack in the city, immersing me in the rich history of his lineage.

And while we were staying at the mansion, he taught me how to fight, or we spent many long, passionate hours together in the bedroom—my favorite activity by far.

But Sebastian's primary focus was on making me a formidable fighter. Under his guidance, I had honed my skills to the point where I could take down one of the patrolling guards within seconds.

Sebastian was a good teacher and I was a quick learner.

Already, I could see the muscle definition forming on my arms, and I felt stronger in myself. For once, I looked forward to my wolf shift tonight. Being stronger meant a less painful transformation.

But sadness overwhelmed me. Despite my growing strength, I was still met with silence whenever I tried to communicate with my wolf.

Even during the full moon, I was met with nothing but a silent void. Shifting into my wolf without feeling his presence felt strange, like a part of my soul was missing.

"Are you ready?" Sebastian asked, taking me from my thoughts.

He wore a stern and focused look on his face, and his intense looking eyes locked onto mine. While I stood nervously awaiting our sparring lesson to begin. Truthfully, I'd rather we continued our sparring lesson in the bedroom, but he insisted we practiced.

I nodded, ready.

"Now that you've mastered hand-to-hand combat, it's time to learn how to use a weapon. You picked the bo staff." Sebastian swung his staff in a wide arc, the motion fluid and precise. "A nice choice. Despite his unconventional methods of ruling, the Wolf King was highly skilled with the bo staff. It was his favorite weapon."

I had finished reading the Wolf King, and he wasn't just skilled—he was exceptional. He could take down his opponents with a single blow.

Time and again, the Wolf King bested the General Wolf with his staff, their battles becoming legendary for the sheer prowess and precision the Wolf King displayed.

"Today we will begin with the basics. Remember, control and precision are key. It's not always about brute strength."

I nodded, gripping my staff nervously.

"Good." Sebastian raised his staff. "Ready your stance. Feet shoulder-width apart." He whacked my feet apart with his staff, and I wobbled slightly as I readjusted myself. "Knees slightly bent."

He came behind me and placed his hands on my hips, positioning my posture. I let out a soft breath at his touch and the warmth of his body pressed against mine.

"Keep your center of gravity low," he instructed, his voice a mix of command and closeness that made me breathless.

He let go and stepped back to stand opposite me, a sly smirk playing on his lips. He knew his close presence made me weak at the knees.

"First," he said, pulling me out of my thoughts, "the overhead strike. Bring your staff down with control. Like this."

Sebastian demonstrated a fast, precise overhead strike, making me flinch slightly. I watched intently and then mimicked the motion, though more cautiously.

"Good. Now, block my strike."

Sebastian raised his staff and brought it down in a controlled strike towards me. Instinctively, I lifted my staff horizontally, the wood connecting with a solid thunk as I blocked his strike.

"Good!" A grin spread across his face as he saw the strength within me. Strength I didn't known I was capable of. "Again."

We repeated the motion, each strike and block growing faster. The sound of wood clashing filled the air.

"I think I've got this," I breathed steadily.

"We'll see," Sebastian smirked. "Now, the side sweep. Aim for the legs, but remember, control. And don't be slow."

Sebastian demonstrated a sweeping motion aimed at my legs. I jumped back to avoid it, then attempted my own sweep, which Sebastian easily dodged with a quick sidestep. We repeated this maneuver several times, the fluid dance of attack and evasion sharpening my skills with each pass.

Sebastian caught my ankles every other swing, knocking me over, while I couldn't even reach him. With each attempt, my frustration grew.

Every miss stung, and when I did manage to catch his ankles, I wasn't strong enough to trip him. The staff would just vibrate back against his sturdy stance, mocking my efforts.

"You're pathetic," Sebastian sneered. "You couldn't even push a child over in your weak state."

"I'm doing my best!" I shouted, side-swiping the staff once again, aiming for his legs.

Sebastian effortlessly jumped into the air and swung his staff down on top of my head. A sharp sting ricocheted through my skull, and I cried out, rubbing my head in pain.

"Your best isn't enough!" His voice hardened. "You're clumsy. If you want to protect your family from the Novaks, you need to do better. Now, again!"

With a roar of frustration, I charged back into the fight, determined to prove myself to him. Sebastian barked pointers on my form and technique, pushing me to refine every movement.

The pace quickened, and I began to predict Sebastian's moves, though my irritation mounted with each strike he effortlessly avoided.

"Better." Sebastian was barely out of breath. "Now, combine the strikes. Overhead, side sweep, and thrust."

I nodded, focusing as I executed the sequence: an overhead strike, followed by a side sweep, then a thrust aimed at Sebastian's midsection.

But each time, he parried my moves effortlessly, his skill making me feel clumsy in comparison.

"Your form is improving, but don't forget to watch your opponent," Sebastian instructed. "Anticipate my moves."

"I'm trying!" I snapped.

"No, you're not," Sebastian retorted, thrusting his staff into my midsection. The air rushed out of my lungs as a sharp pain pulsed through my abdomen.

I stumbled, my grip on the staff faltering. Sebastian stepped forward, swiftly striking the staff out of my hands and pushing me to the ground. I groaned from the harsh impact, pain radiating through my body.

"Trying isn't good enough. If you lose your footing like that, you're dead. Do you understand?"

I sat up, wiping the sweat from my forehead, and frowned. "I get it! But do you have to be so hard on me?"

"Yes," he replied coldly. "If the Novaks came across you in the state you're in now, you'd be dead before you even knew it."

I pushed myself up onto my feet, determination burning in my eyes.

I engaged in another fluid exchange of strikes, blocks, and parries. The clack of wood on wood intensified. I moved with increasing confidence and speed, matching Sebastian's rhythm.

The confidence in his eyes flickered into a moment of shock, quickly replaced by intense concentration. His jaw clenched as he fought back harder against my sudden change of strength.

Just as I was about to land the finishing blow, Sebastian stepped back, lowering his staff.

"That's enough for today!"

I breathed heavily, my chest rising and falling with a mix of annoyance and anger. "Why do you always do that?"

"What did I do this time?" Sebastian huffed, swinging his staff upright. "There's always something I do that irritates you."

"Just when I'm about to land the final blow, you end the session before I have a chance to defeat you. It's infuriating."

My jaw tightened as I held back my tongue. A deep rooted anger simmered just beneath the surface. Every muscle in my body tensed, straining to keep my frustration in check.

"You think too highly of yourself," Sebastian scoffed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "I'm saving you the embarrassment of losing by ending the session before you make a fool of yourself."

That stung like a slap to the face. A hot wave of anger and humiliation washed over me.

"Asshole!"

"What did you call me?" Sebastian's eyes narrowed, his expression hardening.

His grip on the staff tightened as he loomed over me with a dangerous edge to his posture.

"You complain about me not reaching my full potential, but when I do, you back down." I clenched my hand around the staff. "Like you're scared of what I'm capable of, that I might be better than you."

My voice trembled with the intensity of my emotions, anger and frustration bubbling to the surface of my throat.

"The confidence in you is astounding. But you're not as strong as you think you are," Sebastian barked a laugh. His eyes glinted with cruel amusement. "I need to remind you who's in charge."

"What's stopping you?," I challenged, my voice steady but my heart was pounding in my chest.

Sebastian shook his head, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.

"I'm not arguing with you," he said, his tone softer but still edged with anger. "You did well today. You should be proud."

His gaze softened for a moment, and I could see a flicker of genuine admiration beneath his stern exterior.

"So will you finally let me run with the pack tonight?" I asked, desperately.

"No!" he said, firmly. "I can't keep my eye on you while watching over the rest of my pack too. You're to stay here where it's safe from the Novaks."

"I'm going crazy locked up here. I need to stretch my legs and let my wolf run free," I desperately pleaded. "I promise to stay by your side the entire time."

"There's plenty of acres to run freely."

"It's not enough!"

"No!"

I clenched my mouth shut and my grip tightened on the staff. My knuckles turned white with determination.

"If I can prove my strength and defeat you, will you let me run tonight?" I challenged.

"My answer is still no." He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. "Let's go inside and clean up."

Anger consumed me as he dismissed my feelings, making me feel even more trapped inside this stupid house. I just wanted some space to run without feeling like a prisoner in my own home. My chest tightened, my heart pounding against the confines of my ribcage.

An unknown feeling took over me, a deadly part of me that had been trapped for too long. It finally snapped, and a cruel, playful smirk flashed across my lips.

Suddenly, I dropped low and fast, too quick for Sebastian to anticipate. Putting all my strength into the maneuver, I swept my staff in a crescent shape across the ground. The bo staff clacked as I caught his ankles and sent him stumbling backward. Shock etched onto his face.

As he was falling and trying to regain his balance, I instinctively swung the staff around my back in a swift circular motion, like a gymnast twirling a baton in a rhythmic, spiraling dance. My movements were fast and blurred, confusing Sebastian as he tried to figure out where the staff would appear next.

It spun around my left side, and I grabbed it with my less dominant hand, catching Sebastian off guard as I thrust the staff into his midsection with such force that it sent him toppling over. The air gushed out of his lungs in a groaned howl as he landed on his backside. In an instant, I had the staff pointed at Sebastian's neck, lifting his chin as I dropped my knees onto his shoulders, pinning him down.

"I'm not so weak after all," I panted heavily.

A joyful smile spread across my face. I had finally done it. I had defeated Sebastian. But how, or where that surge of strength had come from, I had no idea.

Déjà vu flashed before me. I'd played this dance before. I didn't know when or where, but it wasn't Sebastian pinned beneath me. It was someone else.

A pair of amber eyes stared back at me, full of admiration and warmth. My breath caught, and my smile faded as I stared at those familiar, amber eyes filled with such love and devotion. Such overwhelming happiness as he fell back down laughing in defeat. I lost all sense of the world around me, my heart burning with too much love, not knowing what to do with it. The joy was so intense, I felt like I could melt from it.

It momentarily caught me off guard, and the vision faded when Sebastian knocked the staff out of my hand and rolled us over. Now I was the one pinned to the ground, but this time I was met with Sebastian's angered black eyes, narrowed to thin slits. His hands gripped my arms so tightly that he pinched my skin.

"Why do you always have to ruin our fun?" he growled.

I tensed, feeling Sebastian's hostility seep into me. Fear crept up my throat. This was supposed to be a playful sparring match. Why was he so angry?

I didn't like this side of Sebastian, the anger that flared when he was upset with me. So I did what I always did to please him and make him happy.

"I'm sorry." My voice trembled, a sick feeling pinching at my throat. "I got caught up in the moment. It won't happen again."

"It better not, or I won't be happy." He leaned closer, his breath warm on my neck as his hand gripped my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Don't ever do that again, because I don't want to hurt you."

His words were a dark warning, laced with a possessiveness that formed a heavy pit in my chest.

A moment of silence passed, the tension shifting into something softer as his eyes brightened. He rolled off me and stood up, offering his hand to help me up.

I hesitated for a second before nervously taking his hand, and he pulled me to my feet.

"Come on, let's go back inside," he said, his tone gentler now.

"Yeah," I nodded, holding back my tears. "Just give me a moment." My voice wavered, but I managed to keep my emotions in check.

Sebastian nodded and walked off. As soon as he was out of sight, the nausea bubbling in my stomach surged up. I bent over with my head between my legs, clasping my knees for support as I threw up. The contents of my lunch and the remnants of the purple nightmoss spilled out.

I stood up, breathing deeply as I wiped the tears from my eyes and cleaned my mouth. My breaths were heavy, and I cried, unable to handle Sebastian's ever-changing emotions.

It was too much, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Some days, I hated Sebastian and wanted to leave him, but then there were days when he was so loving and kind.

I knew his anger was because of something I did, because I wasn't good enough. He was trying to protect me from the Novaks, and I was making it difficult for him. I had to be better.

I watched as the pinched bruises Sebastian left on my arms healed within seconds, my skin mending as if nothing had happened.

It didn't help that I had no one to talk to about my issues with Sebastian, to understand what they meant. Without a phone, I had no way of contacting Selina or my family. Phones weren't allowed within the mansion for security reasons, but I'd sent letters, explaining my situation and my reasons for staying with Sebastian.

Hopefully, my father would understand. Not hearing from them felt disheartening. Did they truly not care for me? I felt alone and isolated, my heart aching for the company of others. I hated being alone.

"Finally catching on," a cold voice said from above me.

I frowned as I whirled around, catching sight of Sebastian's younger brother perched in a tree high above us. His figure was half-hidden among the leaves, the dappled sunlight casting shifting shadows across his face. His legs dangled over the branch, and his intense expression was narrowed and frowning.

"What?" I shielded my eyes from the low setting sun.

John swung down from the branch, his movements fluid and graceful. He landed in front of me with the effortless precision of a cat, his feet making barely a sound on the ground. As he stood up straight, brushing off his clothes, I immediately noticed his black eye.

"You're finally catching on," he repeated, harshly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned.

"Sebastian doesn't like being made to appear weak." John pointed to his black eye. "He doesn't take it very well."

"What are you implying?"

"You'll learn soon enough when you get your own black eye."

"Sebastian wouldn't hurt me."

"You're so naive," John scoffed, shaking his head. "I don't know what Sebastian wants with you, but you'll break just like all the others."

"You're lying."

"Am I?" His eyebrows shot. "Then why did you throw up?"

"Adrenaline from sparring."

"No, it's not. You're feeling anxious because you're trying to please him." He walked up to me, and I got a clear look at his bruise, the swelling around his left eye pronounced. But past the bruise, I saw anger flashing within. "While you're still whole, leave."

John barged past my shoulder as he headed back to the mansion.

"If he's so bad, why are you still here?" I called after him.

"Because I can't leave my sister."

John stopped, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rested on them. The heavy burden of looking after a sibling was etched into every line of his posture, a responsibility that seemed to press down on him. His back was bowed slightly, and I could almost see the invisible load he carried—a burden I knew all too well.

"If you're looking for somewhere to run tonight, the northeast corner of the property is unguarded." John walked back to the mansion, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Thanks," I shouted after him.

He waved me off dismissively, and I turned around, looking out towards the property line.

I wasn't going to stay locked up here while everyone else got to run. I traced the edge of the property with my eyes, already imagining the wind rushing past me, the exhilaration of running in my wolf form.

Tonight, my wolf would taste freedom.