CHAPTER SEVEN
( I Bet On Losing Dogs )

DESPITE THE MANY times Cha Jaehwa tries to convince herself that she is mentally fortified enough, meeting Ahn Suho is about as nerve-wracking as crossing paths with a speeding train.

Small droplets of perspiration prickle her clammy palms and dot the base of her back, and the wind comes in an all too beckoning flutter of leaves and leaves Jaehwa shivering in an attempt to preserve what warmth she can.

Autumn is finally coming to an end, and it seems Winter greets Jaehwa with open arms, gifting her a carcass filled of flowers and thorns — Ahn Suho.

Their collision is a coincidence, a one-in-a-million probability for the two to meet again in such an unsettling stage, bristling trees embracing their cold arms.

They meet in the middle of everything; And Jaehwa has a fleeting memory of a boy, a visage of scorching sun and a bright grin standing before her, perhaps a few years short of fifteen, snaggle-toothed and warm, and Jaehwa melts until she is nothing more than sticky water beneath the summer-seared pavement.

Ahn Suho is a grim carcass of fleeting smiles and gentle words. He stands the way the old and weary do — As though he is grasping onto life with the last of his strength.

( Perhaps he is. Jaehwa had always known Ahn Suho far more than she would ever know herself ).

That all too familiar banner whips and flails against the breeze, and Jaehwa claws the sweater against her skin tighter — As though it would hold her bones together, keep her from falling apart.

Her fingers subconsciously reach up to the ugly scar on the back of her head, and she parts her hair to hide it away from the world. From Ahn Suho.

The school is bleak and silent. All its inhabitants rot away within its dim walls and tear their bodies apart in attempts to become what their parents and country expect them to become — But all that amounts to is cigarette-stained fingers and blood-smeared lips.

Jaehwa has the aching sense of feeling that she too had been the same.

Ahn Suho does not smile. It twists something terrible in the pit of Jaehwa's stomach, and the picture she had so clearly drawn in her head slowly begins to fade.

( She clings onto it desperately, for she knows of loss, and she does not want to lose what little she can salvage ).

"Ahn Suho." Cha Jaehwa breathes his name like the breeze, and it weaves through the cold day to settle upon the boy's ears in a bittersweet melody.

Oh, how he misses the sound of her voice.

"Are you avoiding me?" Suho's voice is raspy — Perhaps a cold, or lack of moisture in his drying mouth — But Jaehwa relishes in the gentle thrum that such a timbre brings to her heart.

Her heart beats — Her heart remembers Ahn Suho. How could it possibly forget?

Jaehwa swallows back the nerves and the small pins and needles that poke at her stomach, and she meets his eyes at last.

And, oh, Ahn Suho is so beautiful. But her eyes search and search, yet they cannot find the small spark she had hoped to.

She lowers her eyes back to his feet and swallows back the eternity that lies in her throat.

"No." Jaehwa lies, voice thick and not at all 'Jaehwa'.

"Jaehwa-yah." Gently, the way Cha Jaehwa remembers Ahn Suho to be, he calls to her, but Jaehwa knows better than to fall into the pit he's digging because she won't be leaving if she does.

"What?" She tries to be indifferent, she really does, but Ahn Suho has always been an unstoppable force and Jaehwa is too lenient with him to be his immovable object.

"Where have you been? Do you ditch school now, too?" He asks as though he knows the answers, only curious to see Jaehwa crumble beneath his stare.

Jaehwa sighs. "I dropped out."

His eyes narrow dangerously, and Jaehwa knows she said the wrong thing. She forgets — When does she not — That Ahn Suho knows everything about her, even things she doesn't know.

"The top student dropped out of school?" Suho scoffs. "Your parents would never let you."

Jaehwa feels her gut twist, and she pictures grief-stricken faces and broken hearts as two parents stare down at the body of their now dysfunctional daughter.

Things are different, now, Jaehwa tells herself, but the unconvincing words don't leave her mouth.

"What do you want to hear?" Jaehwa pleads, tiredly and worn.

Ahn Suho is the Sun, and he pulls and pulls until planet Cha Jaehwa is swallowed and burned beyond repair. She let him, once, because he was Ahn Suho, and that alone meant everything to her.

There is silence, and Suho thinks for a long time. He had never been good at such a thing — Why should he be, when he had Jaehwa by his side, who could solve the problems that he couldn't with his fists?

"Your reply." He mutters at last.

Jaehwa stills. The gears crank in her head, but they get stuck in muck and mud that clouds her mind.

"To what?" She snaps irritably, and something flickers in Suho's eyes — Something familiar — as though perhaps he really is looking at the Jaehwa he knows.

But then the spark falters, and it altogether dies out as Ahn Suho's eyes dim and his face turns grim once more. His frown twists deeper into a scowl.

"Nothing." He says quietly, and Jaehwa knows then that her response is the wrong one.

Suho turns, sparing her a fleeting glance, and Jaehwa sees the pools of melancholy that linger in his eyes before he is gone and Winter feels as cold as it always had before him.

Cha Jaehwa doesn't remember, Ahn Suho begs to forget, and the world laughs at their misfortune.

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‎ ✧ AUTHOR'S NOTE !

cute little chapter in honor of valentine's day xx

vvv short and i wish it was longer but i have no idea what else to write so im leaving it at that 🤷‍♀️ im js a girl after all 😊

suho is slowly realizing that something is wrong and now we js have to wait for him to figure us out !!

i ate sm candy that i feel sick but i think i owe myself that much for being single for another year LMAOOO but anyways happy valentines to all my lovely readers !!

next chapter i want more sieun interactions but it's hard to write about the interactions of 2 introverts sooo we'll see how i do 😓

other than that pls lmk if there are any mistakes in the spelling or anything so i can fix it !

also don't b afraid to vote or comment, i will probably (very likely) reply!!!! and if you don't understand something, plsplspls lmk!! i want yall to fully understand what's going on

happy reads!

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─── ANNIE