moonwashed [ 03 ]

❝promise the moon.❞
to keep an
impossible promise.

Mizu first saw Maris on the fifteenth of June, sitting on the bus stop alone. She was wearing a dress, eating a cupcake, and even though Mizuki was a few meters away from her, she could see that Maris's eyes were sparkling with tears. The next day, she saw her at the school restroom. Nasa may loob siya ng cubicle, at mula sa labas, nakarinig siya ng mahinang pagtatalo. She heard phrases like akala kasi namin nakasakay ka na, and 'wag ka nang magalit, ang OA mo naman.

Pagkalabas niya ng cubicle, umiiyak na naman si Maris nang palihim sa harap ng salamin.

The fifteenth of June turned out to be her birthday, and the day she was supposed to celebrate it, her friends had forgotten her.

After that, Mizuki had seen Maris everywhere. Sa canteen, sa computer lab, sa donut shops . . . she was always with the same people who had forgotten about her on the day of her birthday, with that same, fake smile on her face.

Maris can be an idiot too, huh?

Also, she had been beating herself up for doing what she did on the hallway earlier this morning, for straight up ignoring the girl she'd liked for weeks. She just couldn't help it — it was too good to be true. She must have done something! It should be impossible for something so good to happen without her having to wish for it.

Mizu wondered if she'd manifested it unwillingly while she was asleep or while she was dreaming about Maris. What if she just manifested Maris's way into her life? Was that possible? Then she felt like a douche.

But still, Mizuki was aware that as much as she liked Maris, she didn't write down even her name in her manifestation notebook. She didn't want Maris to come to her through something like that — through tweaking fate and manipulating things like she's always done.

So maybe . . . that was finally fate working on its own?

She groaned into her pillow. Pagabi na rin.

Nasa lighthouse kaya si Maris?

Mizu wore a hoodie before walking out. This is ridiculous, she thought. There was very little chance that Maris would be there, but there she was anyway, making her way to the lighthouse.

Habang papunta roon, pinagmasdan niya ang nadaraanan. May mga bandiritas na blue nang nakasabit saka nagbo-boom ang shop ng mga alimango. Sa ref nga nila Mizuki, may apat nang crab cake na bawal pang kainin, tapos rinig pa niyang mag-uuwi na naman ang papa niya ng isa pa mamayang gabi. 'Yung nag-iisang crystal shop naman, dinudumog na rin para sa moonstones. Madalas na nandoon ay mga matatandang babae na naniniwala sa powers ng crystals. Dinudumog na rin pati ang mga pagawaan ng kandila.

Their town was always so noisy and alive on the first days of July. It's like their town's second version of Christmas.

Pagdating sa beach, nanlamig siya mula paa paitaas. Kaunti lang ang tao rito, may iilang mga bata lang saka dalawang lalaki na nakaupo sa moonlit bench kung tinawag.

That moonlit bench is filled with lovers' names followed by the phrase, watched by the moon. It's a promise for these lovers that even if they won't last together, the moon would watch over the both of them until the end of time.

Nagpatuloy lang si Mizu sa paglalakad. Her heart was racing as she ran up the stairs, holding her breath, not knowing what to expect once she got up there. It was wishful thinking to hope that Maris would be there, but she hoped for it anyway.

Pagbukas niya ng pinto, wala roon si Maris.

Of course she wouldn't be. Naisip na tuloy ni Mizu na baka hindi na siya siputin ni Maris sa gabi ng festival. Why would she? She was just a stranger. Hindi niya nga ito pinansin man lang sa hallway!

"God, I'm unforgivable," sabi niya sa sarili.

Sinandal niya ang ulo sa bakal na railing saka huminga nang malalim. The air tasted like the sea salt and metal.

Binangon niya ang ulo niya . . . at saka niya nakita na sa may bandang dalampasigan, may babaeng naka-school uniform, nakapaa, habang nakaupo malapit sa tubig.

"Maris," she said under her breath.

Mizu's feet moved faster than her head, and the next thing she knew, she was already running down the stairs, then through the sand, until she was already panting in front of Maris. Her sweat was cold and the sand annoyingly rubbed against her feet. The sea was waving silently, slowly creeping towards their feet each wave.

"What are you doing?" was the first thing she said.

"Mizu!" Maris exclaimed, looking up at her. Her hair was a mess because of the strong wind, but it looked adorable. "Nandito ka!"

Mizuki blushed. "Pumunta kasi ako ng lighthouse tapos nakita kita."

"I was just waiting for my friends. Sabi nila may bibilhin lang sila, e," sabi niya. "Pero mukhang hindi na yata sila babalik."

Lumakad pa siya kay Maris, hanggang sa maabot na ng tubig ang mga paa niya. It was cold. She looked at Maris, and though she was smiling, her eyes weren't as happy as her lips. Mukhang naghintay siya nang matagal-tagal sa mga kaibigan niyang wala namang balak bumalik. She felt bad. A bit of anger, too, for her friends who treated her like that.

"L-Let me sit here with you then," sabi niya.

Back there in the hallway, she was the one who saw Maris first. She considered greeting her, or just giving her a little smile, anything that could acknowledge a new friend, but she looked busy with her thoughts, and when she walked past her, she realized, of course Maris wouldn't recognize her — she was a girl she'd only talked to for like fifteen minutes.

It's stupid that she'd wanted her to call her name.

"Uy. Naka-twenty-three airplanes na 'ko," sabi bigla ni Maris nang nakangiti. "Ikaw?"

Mizu's heart did a little jump. "Wait," she said. She couldn't believe it. How could she have forgotten? "Omg. Nag-start ka na?"

Maris burst out laughing. "Grabe, matatalo ka niyan! I won't go easy on you!"

Mizu was too pre-occupied thinking about Maris and her smile and her voice that she'd forgotten about the wish after the one-hundredth airplane. Napakagat siya ng kuko.

"That's not fair!" Of course it wasw, but if Maris is twenty-airplanes ahead, it would be difficult for her to catch up, and she wanted to complain about it.

"Losers say that all the time."

"Seryoso? Hindi ka nagsisinungaling? You've counted twenty-three airplanes already?"

"Oo naman, 'no. Why would I lie about it?" Maris took out her phone. "Look — lahat sila may picture."

Mizuki is for real gonna lose, and she doesn't want that to happen. "Start over!"

Tumawa ulit si Maris. "'Wag kang madaya!"

Mizuki was always told how transparent she is, and at that time, she was definitely showing Maris how stressed out she felt. She had to win their competition because when she does, she'd have to ask her for something. And it's something that wishing on a hundredth airplane wouldn't guarantee.

"If you're that frustrated, then I'll give you the next twenty airplanes to come tonight," sabi ni Maris. Niyakap niya ang sariling tuhod saka pinatong ang baba rito.

Mizu's face lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah!" said Maris. "You'd have to stay with me until the twentieth, though."

There was something in that sentence that burned on Mizuki's chest. She was thankful that it was dark so she wouldn't be able to see her face if she was blushing.

She'd stay there until the one-thousandth airplane if she liked.

Napaupo si Mizuki nang maayos sa may buhanginan saka niyakap din ang sariling tuhod. Umangat ang tingin niya sa langit.

An airplane passed by.

"One!" she exclaimed.

After a few minutes, another passed by again.

"'Yan, two!"

The two of them continued sitting there, their eyes looking up at the sky, counting airplanes like delusional young girls that they were. They talked about the most random stuff — about school, about the upcoming Science project, and even about the crystal shop owner whose fish died recently — all of these while the water touched the tip of their toes, as the air grew colder by the minute, and as the moonlight wrapped them whole.

Occasionally, Mizu would glance at Maris. She would examine her face from the side, but she would make sure she wouldn't see her. That time, she was not doubting herself anymore. Things were indeed happening on their own — Mizuki did not write anything of this down — and that made her genuinely happy.

"May tanong ako," said Maris after awhile. Mizuki was on her fifteenth airplane already.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you so determined to make this wish?"

Napahigpit ang pagkakayakap ni Mizuki sa sariling mga tuhod. Napaisip siya kung bakit bigla iyong natanong ni Maris.

"Hmm . . . siguro kasi . . . it's not just for myself. It's also for her."

Actually, the actual wish is Amaris herself, but she wouldn't tell her that.

She thought that if they became friends, Amaris wouldn't have to spend her time with those friends anymore. Maybe it was wrong to wish for something like that, but she felt desperate to get her out of the toxicity she'd involved herself in.

She felt responsible. Maybe she shouldn't be.

"Her?"

Mizuki looked at Maris, and the light on her eyes seemed different than usual. She sensed pure curiosity in it.

"Y-Yeah."

"Huh . . ." Napakunot ang noo ni Maris. "Kaibigan?"

More than that, hopefully. "Yes."

"That's interesting," sabi niya. "I didn't know you can wish for someone else."

An airplane passed by, and Mizuki looked at it. "Sixteen."

Maris, do you like girls? Mizuki badly wanted to ask that. Maris, have you ever thought of holding a girl's hand? Because I have, and it's your hand that I imagine holding.

She didn't ask any of those, though, even if it felt like her insides were gonna explode. Even if she wanted to know if there's a chance that Maris would look at her in a different way, she kept her lips locked and decided that she'd just wait until the night of the festival.

The two of them continued sitting together, talking, silence coming in and out, and then talking and laughing again. Hindi nila namalayan ang oras, maski nga ang airplanes na nabilang nila ay lumampas na sa twenty. Mizuki knew that Maris was aware that they've been counting more airplanes than decided, and yet she didn't say anything. Did she, perhaps, also want to stay longer?

On the fiftieth airplane, the two decided to go home. Even after they got to the main road, Mizuki could still feel the rough sand and the sea waters tickling her feet. She felt drunk, but with Maris's voice and the pretty starlight overhead.

"Mizu," Maris called. Mizuki looked at her. "May ibibigay ako sa 'yo sa festival. Can we meet then at the lighthouse, at the same time like today?"

Mizuki's heart seemed to flinch, and she blinked. Tiningnan niya nang maigi si Maris, at gulat siyang makilala ang hitsura ng kaba sa mukha nito. She looked shy.

"S-Sige," sabi na lang niya, though God knew how much strength she needed to have to say that in such a calm way. When she got home, she thought, she had to remind herself to scream into her pillow.

"Okay." Maris turned around to leave, but then she faced Mizuki again. This time, with a smile and a shaky chuckle. Her eyes were shining. "Bye!"

Mizuki waved her goodbye and turned around so she could walk home, but she looked back twice to see if Maris had looked back too. She didn't.

On the third time, she called for her name, so suddenly that even she was surprised. Maris turned around almost as immediately, and their gazes connected.

"I-I'm wondering if we should eat lunch tomorrow . . . together. At the school garden," sabi ni Mizu. She hoped her voice was clear enough. "It's okay if you can't." It's not.

Maris seemed to think about it for around ten seconds before she responded. "Yeah. Okay lang!"

"Okay," sagot ni Mizuki. She was smiling wide. She wanted to eat one thousand lunches with Maris. "B-Bye!"

"Bye, Mizu!"

Mizuki turned around wholly this time, but without turning to look back anymore. She couldn't do that if a big, idiotic smile was on her face, and she knew that sounded stupid, but stupid things make sense when you've completely allowed yourself to become a total fool for someone else.

That night, on her bed, all she could think of was Amaris. She hoped for more and more and more hours to be with her as Amaris's smile continued to wander in her thoughts, and she continued to think about her until she couldn't anymore. But she didn't get tired of thinking about her. In her head, she was a timeless piece of art.

As Mizuki's slumber drew close, she thought about how pretty the moon looked like when Maris's face was nearby.