why should i think

that good things come to those who wait

I've been waiting all my life

I want relief. 

the preacher tells me

and Daddy tells me

"You're only 17"

the "best years of my life" are waiting for me

But if this is all that's left 

all I can expect to see

Why would I wait and watch and hope

I'm so done with hoping

So tired and scared and filled with exhaustion down to the marrow of my bones

i will betray the preacher

i will betray my father

I can't live like this any longer

I will go and run until I've joined the midnight sun

I will let the poison eat at me 

Eat away at me

until all I am and all I've become is the juicy fruit of the poison tree. 

Eat me