The darkness was deep and all-encompassing. Since she became the Moon it was all she had seen.

Darkness was not only around her but also inside her soul, and those shadows were deeper and more crushing and draining.

It had always been sadness and darkness. When her parents ignored her or blamed her for their misfortune, or when her father beat her, darkness was in all the shades of her life in Serbia.

Then came the wolf world and magic. They didn't come, they crashed, but that world was also like lightning, shining bright and violently. For some that had been always in the dark, brief moments of happiness and light became easily what gave meaning to life.

Erik had appeared in an utmost violent and stormy way in her life but had also brightened it up. In the brief time together she learned how good it felt to be cared for and how beautiful and pain-numbing passionate love could be.

But now the darkness that followed her all around had swallowed Erik too and she was again alone in the mids of shadows.

His best friend tried to kill her days ago and she almost lost the only thing that was tying her to this existence.

The baby was alive still. She had to be strong for it, but she was so tired, and even if the night was everything she saw it was never one when she could sleep.

"Hey, are you ready?" asked Dasha.

Dasha. She loved Dasha so much.

"Yeah. Where are we actually going?"

"Samira rented a really nice villa outside of Edinburgh. Best place I ever lived in. When you disregard the mortal danger, life with wolves has quite some perks."

"Samira is here too?" asked Mila amazed.

She was a bit afraid. Michael was Erik's cousin and best friend and he turned on her. Maybe Samira hated her too and wanted to see her dead.

"Yes. I think she is Erik's cousin. Tall, dark hair, very pregnant but a bombshell of a woman..."

Yes, that was a perfect description of her.

"Yes..."

"And there is Kiril's lover."

"Who?" asked Mila and couldn't help frowning. She didn't know a lot about Kiril, she knew he used to sleep with a wide array of women but there had never been one in particular or else she would have minded all that he did for and with her.

"The thorn in my side, also goes by Ju. They have a very strange relationship and she calls him master. I think that might be one of his kinks because when we had sex he also had this very dominating attitude. It was godly good though and I will get there again. If I am lucky, tonight," giggled Dasha.

Mila didn't know how to feel about that.

"Oh, Mila. Do you mind? I never thought about asking. It was just that you and Erik and the baby..."

"No. Why would I mind?"

"Because he is your mate thing or whatever?"

That was right. She was Kiril's mate but it was also that the magic made a lot of wolves feel that weird bond towards her.

"Does he know that?"

Dasha seemed to indeed like Kiril. But Dasha wasn't realizing how dangerous the wolf world could be for a human. Did she want to end up like her?

"What? That almost everyone in that house wants to do him? Well, except for Samira, they hate each other. I bet I can count Angel in too. I suppose Kiril can read an audience quite well so he likely knows," answers Dasha laughing. "I am happy you are okay. Don't worry, if Kiril turns out to be a problem we escape him too. You and me, we can do everything together," she said taking her hand.

"I told you, you are my sunshine, Dasha. But this is dangerous. I understand if you want to leave. I think Angel and Samira are good. They are going to help. And Kiril showed he doesn't want to hurt us either, so I guess it's fine if you leave."

Angel had always protected her. Apparently against anyone.

"No. You said Michael was good too and he wanted to kill you. I don't trust any of them and neither should you. We stay with them as long as it's safe and convenient but sleep with an eye open."

The door opened.

"Mila, we have to go," said Kiril. "It's dawn soon and tomorrow is a full moon."

It was odd how she felt like being able to breathe deeper whenever he was in the room.

The villain. The archenemy of her child's father and at the same time the one that took more blows for her than anyone else while telling her a bunch of awful things. Using her and protecting her, hating her, and seducing her, all at the same time.

Mila nodded and walked out of the room.

"Samira." Samira was staring at her as if she had seen a ghost. "Please don't be frightened or... mad." She wasn't sure why she said the last but Samira's expression was confusing.

"I will run with Angel," she said curtly and turned away.

Mila nodded. She didn't want to intrude. Something was happening to Samira, she was likely sad and grieving, but it also made her uneasy after what had happened with Michael.

"Who's that cutie with Angel? Who's pack is he from?" whispered Dasha.

"None. That's Dr. Cunningham. He is human for a change," answered Mila raising an eyebrow.

Dasha smiled mischievously and hurried over to introduce herself. Was she not minutes earlier confessing how much she liked Kiril? Dasha was one confusing girl.

On the drive to the house, Kiril had her full attention all over again. Mila just sat in the backseat observing. She was genuinely wondering if he liked her too. Mostly he was dismissive to everything she said but sometimes she said something in Russian that he couldn't help smirking about.

They were a cute couple if she thought about it. So ridiculously attractive, they even had the same colors somehow and the same slippery demeanor.

It was natural to like someone that resembles yourself a lot, wasn't it?

It was also interesting to watch how Ju wrapped her arms enthusiastically around Kiril when they arrived and how she was eying her displeased and Dasha angrily.

Ju looked at him like she was looking at the sun, anything else ceased to exist.

Dasha led her into a room and she sagged on the bed.

The next many hours passed like she was a silent spectator of her own existence, only surviving not really living. That had actually been a motto for the last few months.

She wished so much for a deep and heavy slumber to take her, one where she wouldn't hear or feel anything anymore.

Selene's voice was omnipresent, watching her, judging her, hating her for being human and weak.

She wished for the power to silence her at least for a bit.

"Mila!" Dasha stormed into her room. "You awake, right?"

"Yeah."

"So, oh my God!" Dasha walked in and sat on the bed. "They all transformed. They are all huge wolves now. Do you think they can go crazy and kill us?"

"No. It's still them, the body is just different."

"So we are now the official owners of four huge dogs?"

"I suppose so..." Dasha was so funny and oblivious that sometimes it made Mila smile.

She lay down beside Mila.

"Uh and Kiril had a huge fight with Samira. Now they are both super cranky and Samira left again. I am dying to know what it was about."

She hadn't really talked to Samira. She should... Samira was her baby's closest relative.

"I actually like Samira. She's cool but she does hate his guts for I am not sure what reason."

"It's a long story," said Mila, petting Dash's hair that had let her head fall on her chest.

"Mila your heart rate is really fast. Are you sure you are okay?"

"I am just tired and can't sleep."

A big white wolf pushed the door open.

"Hello, Kiril. Why did you come? Oh you can't answer, right? That's funny," teased Dasha.

Dasha's face lost color.

"What did you say to her? You frightened her. That's mean," said Mila frowning.

"Well then do your thing..." said Dasha standing up and exiting the room.

"There were a few rogues outside. I killed them but they came lured by your scent. I thought I can stay here so if others come they can smell me too and back off."

"It's been a while since you talked to me like this. Back then it was frightening..." Mila remembered. It felt a lifetime ago even if it had been only few months.

Kiril lay down on the floor.

"Now it isn't anymore?"

"No."

"You don't need to be afraid of them. They would have to kill me to get to you and I am really hard to kill."

"Unless they are gods. Gods can kill you too," answered Mila looking at him a bit absentminded.

His beast form was as strikingly beautiful as she remembered.

"I don't want you to die," said Mila in a mellow voice, taking the head of the beast between her palms.

Kiril whimpered slowly and rubbed his head against her hands in a very canine way.

It somehow made her smile.

"You are funny when you are like this."

"Are you not afraid of me?"

"No. Not anymore. Now I know that you are good. You were hiding it very well but you are."

"I am not."

"I am so tired...," said Mila ignoring his reply.

Kiril climbed onto the bed and lay down beside her. Mila started stroking his white fur. It felt so incredibly smooth and the mark on her arm was glowing from his proximity.

"Mila. Why are you so afraid of sunlight? What happened while you were gone?"

"Are you going to look into my mind if I don't tell you?"

"No. I will just wait."

Touching his fur was somehow calming, so fascinatingly calming that she didn't even notice when she fell asleep.

When she woke up she acknowledged it was fourteen hours later and she was feeling much better.

Somehow she hoped that night had broken the curse, but it didn't. Even if the whole house was deadly silent the night after, she still couldn't sleep, just like before.

It was three in the morning but the silence was just too deep and crushing.

Kiril wasn't there. She wished he were. Neither was Samira.

Angel lay awake staring at the moon outside. Mila was feeling his pain quite literally. She was the moon goddess and one wolf was howling his sorrows at the mistress in the sky and circumstantially also at the one on earth.

Slowly she sat down on the floor by his side and Angel lowered his head in her lap.

"I am sorry, Angel. I would do anything to take your pain away. One might think that now I can do everything, but the truth is really far from that. I am just me, just like before but I am also dangerous, part of me at least. Maybe Michael was right and we both are abominations that shouldn't exist."

Angel howled in protest and started licking her palm.

"You are important to me and I will always try to protect you."

It looked like Angel wanted to tell her a lot of things but that night just wasn't the night.

In the end, Mila fell into an uneasy sleep.

When your eyes are closed you experience darkness but there is always a faint trace of light left. In that particular instant, Mila just noticed that it wasn't. She was drenched in complete darkness and silence.

Was that how death felt like? Just complete emptiness and darkness?

But then the darkness started to move and shift and take shape.

"Mila." She would recognize his voice anywhere.

She blinked and the dark shape in front of her started to look like him. Once again it was him but still not him entirely, it was him, and the darkness molten into him, and even if she didn't want to, it unsettled her.

Erik reached to touch her face. It was him, her beloved, but his touch burned.

That ethereal moment felt like a century of torture and Mila cried out in pain.

"Mila, stay with me," said Erik and put another hand on her shoulder that burned just as badly.

"No, please. You are hurting me!"

"Mila, but I love you. I want to be with you!"

He was saying kind words, words that she wanted to hear but what she was feeling was only pain, wild and excruciating.

"Mila! Mila, wake up!"

There were several familiar voices screaming but she could feel only the pain and between pain, she realized that the baby was hurting too and as a consequence hurting others.

"Mila. Stop, please!"

Mila wasn't sure who was talking because everything was still dark.

"Samira, what are you doing?" said some voices.

"Samira!?"

What came after were only indistinguishable screams. Then there were arms around her and Kiril's familiar bergamot smell, glass shards, and then the wind in her hair, all on the background of the pulsating atmosphere her baby's power was creating.

He was holding her for what felt like a long time. The darkness started to dissipate slowly.

"Mila you have to calm down and try to come back. It's okay. Nobody will hurt you." He sounded so calm and soothing, so unlike himself. But it was working, it was working so strangely well.

Shapes started to form from the complete darkness, first blurry, then clearer but this time it were familiar ones: fir trees, stars on the night sky, moon flowers, and a mountain lake, a very beautiful one she had seen before.

Kiril was sitting on the damp grass leaning on a tree and holding her.

"You know... It was not so long ago, but it seems like a lifetime when I was here with Erik. Why did you bring me precisely here?"

It was the lake where she had kissed Erik for the first time, that night when her belly was full of liquor and her mind full of mischief. It had been nice...

"Because it's a nice place and because the lake holds some lunar power so I hoped it would help you calm down."

"It works..."

Tell her, Kiril, it's an important place for you too. Isn't it?

"Why do you say that?" asked Mila.

Kiril looked at her a bit confused.

"What did she say?"

"That this place is special for you too."

"It is important, not special," said Kiril, halfway stern.

"I thought you were going to explain to me what the difference is," said Mila after a while, while they were watching the scenery.

"Ironically, when Selene slept with Erik, it was near a lake too but in the Caucasus mountains, which are on my territory. The previous Blood Moon, more than a hundred years ago, it had been here. It was a turning point."

"I understand..." said Mila looking up at him and brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. She wasn't sure why she did that but it felt natural.

"Feeling enlightened?" he asked smirking and lifting his eyebrows.

Mila couldn't help smiling too. It was something about the moment when stern people were joking. Kiril seemed to be somewhere deep inside quite funny and witty. And kind, and still his very dark, intriguing self...

"What did I do?" asked Mila after another while.

"Not you. The baby did. That always happens when you are young, cannot control, or are not even aware of your powers and you feel fear."

"Did that happen to you too?"

"Yes," answered Kiril looking at the landscape.

"Did they die?"

"Yes."

"I am sorry."

He smiled a sad smile.

"You of all people are probably the last that should be."

"I... Uh..." Mila sighed. "I dreamed of Erik.  He was there, he wanted to be with me but he was hurting me, we were probably hurting each other. A lot."

"It was only a dream, Mila," said Kiril, starting to stroke her hair. It felt good and Mila leaned naturally on his chest.

"I love him."

"I know."

Silent tears trickled from her eyes onto his skin.

Kiril lifted her chin and wiped them away gently. Moonlight was shining on his white skin and silver hair. It seemed as if he was made of starlight.

It was what Mila never thought she would be doing, but it felt like that one thing that would make her feel less pain for an instant. When their faces were only centimeters apart Mila pressed her lips on his.

It wasn't desire, thought he was beautiful and he smelled like the night, heavy and soothing, it was mostly tenderness and it tastes bittersweet, like berries and blood, sweet and violent like everything they were.

"I don't want you to leave," she said in the end.

______________________________________

Joah, well. What are you thinking? It turned out a bit different than expected but still more or less in that area.

Yup, it's named after the Fitzgerald novel :D.