// in case you missed the last part and my spam about this, ive made a YouTube with my friend! woo! it's called we'llnamethislater and im the asian guys //

dan

Dan sits on the crass, cross legged in front of a grave.

"H-hey brother," (there's an endless road to rediscover *leaves*) Dan says quietly, biting his lip, "s-sorry it's been a-a while since I've v-visited, I've been b-busy - in a good w-way. I've met a boy c-called Phil, he's like you, h-he sees good in me.

He d-doesn't care about my m-mood, he's just n-nice. I wish you c-could meet him. Phil is a-awesome but I miss you. I'm s-sorry.

I n-need your advice, y-your help. I don't know w-what to do. There's s-something wrong with Phil's family, somethings w-wrong inside of me, my m-mood is breaking apart.

I thought my l-life was finally g-getting better, I thought I was f-finally getting better but I-I'm not. As soon as th-things begin to get better they always become t-ten times worse. Why i-is that?

God, I need y-you here with m-me right now, I need y-your support and advice. I w-wish you never left, I wish i-it was me, not you. I s-spend a lot of my time wanting to g-get away from this world, brother;

But Phil Lester m-makes me want-t to stay."

Dan sighs, closing his eyes and biting his lip as he tries to stop the tears from falling. He doesn't want to cry here; not again. Who is he kidding though, he always cries when he comes here. Dan stands, brushing the grass off his knees but his black jeans are still slightly damp from the early morning dew.

He's stopped by the cemetery before he has to go to school. He picks up his bag, swinging it onto his shoulders, faltering slightly under the weight before he steadies himself and walks away from where his brother lays. Dan sighs, watching his shoes as he slowly takes every step towards school. He really doesn't want to go to school right now.

"Dan! Hello!" Phil's cheery voice calls as Dan walks into the school gates, "how are you?"

"I'm g-good," Dan says, forcing a smile.

However, every time Dan sees Phil he can't help but think of Phil's mother and brother's conversation. He can't help but think that this innocent, cheery Phil Lester doesn't have much longer before reality will kick in and his life will begin to crumble apart.

"That's good," Phil says, falling into step beside Dan as he walks, "I'm really looking forward to today, do you know why?"

"W-why?" Dan asks tiredly.

"Because you're here, and I think we should all look forward to everyday!" Phil says with a grin and Dan shakes his head with a smile.

"You're l-literally always h-happy," Dan says.

"Is that a bad thing?" Phil asks.

"Definitely n-not. Hold onto th-that Phil Lester, it's a r-rare gift," Dan says, biting his lip with a sigh, "I w-wish everyone was l-like you."

"Why?" Phil asks, laughing, "I'm far from perfect and then the world would just be boring."

"The world w-would never b-be boring if it was f-filled with people l-like you," Dan says, smiling at him, "you're m-my best f-friend."

"I'm your only friend Dan, no offence," Phil says, nudging Dan with his elbow and laughing, "but yeah, I'm pretty amazing."

"Yeah, y-you are," Dan agrees.

"Did you uh, figure anything else out about your mood?" Phil asks in a quieter, more serious tone, "I mean, what's happening?"

"I'm n-not sure h-honestly," Dan lies, but his mind is screaming at him.

You're breaking apart, you're shattering inside, you're fragmenting, it jeers at him, soon, you'll be nothing but pieces. Useless, broken...

"Dan? Are you okay? You kinda just... Froze," Phil says, poking Dan on his cheek and Dan snaps back into reality.

"Oh, y-yeah I'm fine," Dan says, coughing awkwardly and looking across, "I m-mean, yeah, s-sorry."

"Okay," Phil says, "so, anything new in your life?"

"Um, n-not r-really," Dan says with a light shrug, "I'm not p-particularly a-an i-interesting person."

"I'm sure you are," Phil says with a smile, "I know you are actually. I'm pretty sure Winston misses you as well."

"R-really?" Dan asks, his heart warming slightly.

The only thing which misses you is a cat. How pathetic, the voice rings through his head and Dan wishes he could just switch his brain off.

"Yeah, you need to come and see him again," Phil says with a laugh.

"Y-yeah," Dan says with a small smile, "that would b-be nice."

The bell rings then, sounding through the schoolyard and making Dan jump a little in fright.

"Ah, class," Phil says with a sigh, "well, time for the real fun of the day. I'm not looking forward to math."

"I th-thought you s-said to look forward t-to everyday," Dan points out.

"You're right," Phil says, "but that was before I remembered we have like, an hour of algebra and trigonometry and all that stuff."

"T-triangles a-are good," Dan says with a laugh.

"When will we use trigonometry in life though?" Phil asks as they walk to class together.

"Y-you might n-need the power o-of triangles," Dan says with a giggle and Phil laughs as well.

"You're weird Dan Howell," he says, "but the best kind of weird."

***

That lunch, Dan decides to let Phil have a break from him and go sit with his other friends.

He sits in the library, having finished his lunch he is now sitting in the corner, his knees against his chest, with his head in a book and earphones in.

Sitting in the back corner of the slightly musty, old school library gives Dan a strange feeling of nostalgia. He feels like it's when he used to hide away in here.

Dan shakes his head, turning his head back go his book. It's about a world where there's no moods, and as weird and dangerous as it sounds, Dan wishes his world is like that. No one would be discriminated about their mood in that world.

"Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!" A voice says excitedly as Dan gets his earphones tugged out.

Dan jumps with fright, his book flying onto the ground losing his page, and he looks to see Phil there, crouched down in front of him. Dan narrows his eyes at him and picks his book back up.

"Y-you made me l-lose my page y-you idiot," Dan says with a scowl, flipping through the pages to try and find his place.

"Sorry," Phil says, "but I was looking for you."

"W-why?" Dan asks.

"Because," Phil says, "I thought you'd be lonely."

"I'm fine, g-go back to your o-other friends," Dan says dismissively, "t-they must m-miss you."

"Not really, I still catch up with them all the time," Phil says with a shrug, "you should sit with us one time."

"Maybe o-one d-day," Dan says unsurely, finding his page and sliding his bookmark in, "in t-the very f-far future."

"Don't be like that, my friends are nice!" Phil says.

"I d-don't doubt t-that. I j-just don't t-trust myself. I-I'd screw it u-up," Dan says.

"I don't think you would," Phil says, leaning his arms on top of Dan's folded up knees, "I believe in you Dan."

"Y-you're about t-the only p-person who d-does," Dan says, looking down.

My brother used to believe in me, he used to tell me everything was okay, he used to love me, but he's gone now, that feeling of home doesn't exist for me; it vanished along with him. Dan wants to say, but he doesn't.

He just sits there silently, feeling the enormous weight on his shoulders grow even heavier. He's so torn. Especially about Phil, he feels he doesn't have enough information to tell him...

"Hey Dan, you know you can trust me right? With anything that's troubling you. I'm here to listen okay?" Phil says, turning serious and placing a hand on Dan's shoulder.

"W-why a-are you t-telling me t-this?" Dan stammers out, looking into Phil's wide blue eyes, can this boy read his thoughts of something?

"Because you can trust me Dan, I'm your friend," Phil says kindly, "and that's what friends do."

"Y-yeah, I-I know," Dan says quietly, but he has to look away, "t-thanks Phil. I-I'm here for y-you as w-well."

"I know you are Dan," Phil says, "you're a good friend."

"I-I am?" Dan asks.

"Yeah," Phil says with a smile, "you're a great friend."

Dan smiles back at him, eternally grateful that Phil Lester is now his friend. He hasn't felt this happy and loved since his brother died. Phil ends up sitting next to him in the corner, keeping him company and easing Dan's mind.

And although neither of them notice, one tiny piece of Dan's broken mood fixes itself back in place.

*****************

an// a tad shorter but hope you still enjoyed! thanks so much for reading!

what's going to happen next? WHO KNOWS? I think the fluff is now only short lived. drama is starting soon ahhhh!

also, I just love Phan + Louise collabs they're amazing.

hope to update soon! and I hope you're enjoying the story so far! and glass minds has started as well!

anyway yeah, bye guys! ^_^ x

p.s: PLS SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE SO I FEEL SPECIAL (we'llnamethislater)

okay I'll stop now, I'm done...

josh dun.